Back on the boat again. Of course, after the group's little pit stop, it was inevitable that they would continue on their endless journey to the hills far ahead. They had no oars, so instead, the adults took turns piloting the boat from behind, pushing with their hands and kicking with their feet, acting as an extremely slow engine. They didn't do this the entire time; it burned a lot of energy, and they had very little food that had to be rationed between the entire group. But for a few minutes a few times during the day, they would push the boat, taking turns. The rest of the group would paddle with their hands lamely, but it did seem to help a small amount, if not with speed then with direction.

The amount of structures above the surface of the water began to steadily increase as the boat slowly trudged its way through the ocean's expanse. Soon, roofs above the surface stretched and began to turn into entire stories above the surface of the water.

Across the so-far relatively short journey, Felicity had begun to narrate her own story inside of her mind. Her silent words kept her company, kept her focused, and allowed her to reflect on herself. Zephyr had been right, of course; her personality was unrecognisable as to who she was before the floods began. It felt right to her now, though, to be dominant, to be loud, to be everything she was never allowed to be before. Felicity absolutely hated herself for this, but she was grateful for the floods despite all of the death and destruction. In such a situation, she had blossomed into a loud, proud, and capable person that she had never even thought possible before. She was, in such a situation, her best possible self, and sat on the gently rocking boat feeling something for herself that she had never experienced before:

Pride.

Her self-loathing was visible and very loud, but for the first time ever, she had a sense of dignity and independence to combat it. It was frustrating and confusing, yet beautiful at the same time. The boat very slowly wavered across the water, a few of them talking, others admiring the lower sea levels around them with a fascinated and thankful awe. The ocean was powerful, not a force to be reckoned with, and her calm and lesser presence as they travelled higher in altitude was not only fascinating, but a sacred blessing that they knew would not last for long. With the sky discreetly darkening and the air growing heavy with warm, spring humidity, it seemed only a matter of time before she scattered them to the winds and swallowed their equipment in an unruly temper-tantrum once again.

The one thing that the boat lacked, was, of course, privacy. Arguments were shared by the entire group, as was bathroom trips, naps, clothe-changing, bathing, and absolutely anything of the sorts. Considering the circumstances and the type of selective persons on the boat, however, nudity and rudeness seemed like the new social norm in a way, and nobody judged nor cared, with the exception of Tatiana, whom judged everyone for everything.

The sky darkened and darkened, deeply black clouds rolling in strong, warm winds overhead. The temperature dropped dramatically as the sky faded into nighttime, and long casted shadows grew and expanded over the expanse, the blue-grey water turning black in the darkness. No moon nor stars made an appearence, hidden away behind the heavy clouds and fog. None could see more than an inch in front of their own faces, and it scared them, so they huddled together in the boat with no intention of moving until light dawned on their faces and warmed their bones. A light drizzle began to fall, and thunder echoed, deep and rumbling, somewhere far in the distance. Although Felicity felt truly safest beside Huan's large, kind, and protective form, she enjoyed Zephyr's company and fond affection the most, and thus, she laid against Zephyr on the floorboards of the small tipping boat. He held her kindly and protectively, an arm wrapped around her as he slowly drifted in and out of sleep, awoken occasionally by the rocking of the waves beneath them. Felicity's eyes closed, but she couldn't bring herself to sleep. The darkness, the motion beneath and around them, the wind and the sprinkling rain; it was all too much for her at the moment. It wasn't peaceful enough for her mind to relax long enough to sleep. And, beside that, she had begun to have a terrible aching in her gut and head, and she wondered if her little underwater adventure had something to do with it. The water could be dangerous with her eyes open beneath it for so long; at the very least, the pressure of the water and the constant travelling could make her sick. Naturally, something like that would make anyone sick, and Felicity suddenly began to wonder if anyone else in the group was fairing poorly. A poor, weak diet left them all weaker and malnourished, and she considered the idea that they were all susceptible to scurvy if they did not find a better source of food soon. That, and weakened health meant weakened immune systems; even small ailments could kill them with no antibiotics or medicines to nurture and protect their bodies. Felicity's anxiety hardened as she thought about just how close the group was to death. Hell, one could say that they already were dead. And what would begin to happen as their starvation took a hold of them? One might suggest to eat the dog that Kiui so dearly loved. And then what? Would they begin to suggest eating one another?

"Felicity."

She stopped, glancing up at Zephyr whom stirred hazlily beside her. She peered around in the darkness, ears open as her eyes were practically useless. Gentle snores from everyone around, even from the dog. The boat creaked softly as the small waves pushed into it, creating a sort of soft ambiance sound. Crashing waves, tenderly creaking boat, soft sleepy breathing. The lightweight rain and distant, muted thunder added to it all. Time slowed down for a perfect, gentle moment, and all that was heard was the combination of soft, sleepy sounds. All that was seen was a very soft reflection on the surface of the ripples in the water, and a soft light outline to Zephyr's dark face, a slight reflection of his shadowed eyes, noting that he was looking at Felicity. She inhaled shallowly, unable to take her eyes off of him, off of the warm darkness that shrouded them like a blanket, off of the soft sounds that cradled them and seemed to float them onto a low-light beach somewhere, where the night life had finally died and the calm woosh of the warm spring wind and waves on sand comforted them, held them, gave them peace and comfort that they also somehow found equally in one another.

Finally, lips seeming heavy or slow to move, Zephyr spoke, "You okay?"

"Fine, why?"

"You were breathing hard."

"Oh. I guess I began to panic."

"That's okay. I do too, sometimes. Just worried me is all. Anything I can do?" His voice was low and whispery, slightly slurred from his drowsiness. His head rested on Felicity's shoulder now, and he seemed absolutely exhausted.

"You panic sometimes, too?" Felicity asked, curious, and wondering how far she could press the matter before he shut her down. It may have been manipulative for her to do so, knowing he was drowsy and therefore more likely to spill his guts. Only, she genuinely simply wanted to learn more about him, and her rather unmalicious intentions made the slight unlawfulness able to be overlooked in her book of morals.

"I do," he nodded shallowly.

"How come?" He sighed, clearly uncomfortable, and feeling bad, Felicity delicately added, "You don't have to tell me."

"No, its alright," he sighed quietly again, whispering softly still, hesitating, struggling to get the words out. "I just am scared."

"Yeah, I think we're all a little bit scared right now."

"No, no. Not like that. I mean yeah, like that too. But that's not why I panic."

"Oh."

He paused often as he spoke, as if delaying the truth would make it less burdening, "It happens sometimes, where I can't breathe, because I'm scared of having to attain for my sins. Of having to pay for them."

"Your sins? Zephyr, I never took you as the religious type."

"It's not like that," he hissed frustratedly.

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay, I'm sorry. I'm just bad at explaining it."

"That's okay. I'll listen as long as it takes."

And he smiled in the dark, barely noticeable to either of them, "Thanks."

"I am curious, but if it brings you that much anxiety, you really don't have to tell me. We all have things we'd like to hide."

"You, too?" he asked.

"Me, too."

"Like what?" Felicity was caught off-guard and hesitated, her body stiffening at the words. So, Zephyr spoke, "I'll tell you if you tell me."

"Mine is worse, I guarantee it," she chuckled dryly.

"We'll see," he said.

"I'm scared, too, Zephyr. I don't want you to think of me differently. I'm better now. I like that you can perceive me that way."

"Felicity, you don't have to worry about that. Whatever happened, no matter what it was, I promise you, I won't perceive you as worse. I'll only percieve you as brave for telling me."

"You promise?"

"Yes, I said I promise."

"Okay. Still... Maybe you go first."

"Then you promise me that you'll tell me after I tell you mine," he said.

Felicity chuckled, genuinely this time, "Okay, promise. Now spill." He turned away from her, looking down at his hands which were barely visible in the darkness, fidgeting with them. He was scared, too, unbearing to look at her as he spoke.

Hesitantly and very softly, he eventually did speak, sounding almost breathless, "Tati hates you because she's jealous."

"Jealous? You're her brother. I can't replace your sister, even if we are good friends."

"No. She doesn't see it that way. It wasn't that way. It wasn't just that. I mean-" he took a dee, shaky inhale to collect his string of words, then continued, "I was more than just a brother to her. More than just a friend. Not for a while, but when we were younger, things were so difficult, especially with our parents' issues being thrown at us. We were old enough to know it was wrong, but young and immature enough to not care, and not realise how much it would linger as adults. Tatiana and I were closer than most twins. We were closer than anybody. We had to, to survive everything happening to us. I guess we thought we could reclaim our bodies with each other after what our families had done to us. It didn't work, our relationship was so rocky for so long because of it. I love her like the sister she is, but theres still that lingerance of something more romantic from our teen years, and she is more obsessed with it than I am by far. I have to steer clear of her, walk on eggshells around her. Our bond was broken when we were younger, and now we only have trauma keeping us together as proper siblings. I'm not religious, but it was gross and wrong of us. I wish she would let it go and heal just like I have." He sighed, looking back at Felicity, "I'm sorry. I'm sure you think I'm disgusting now."

"Not at all," she said. "I mean, to me it sounds weird and foreign. But it's so clear that you regret it, that circumstances pushed you to that, and that you've done everything you can to move on, heal, and not let it happen again. I can't blame you nor judge you for something like that. It's only impressive to me to see how far you've come since then."

He smiled, "Thank you, Felicity. I think I needed to hear that. Despite all of this, things have gotten a lot better, and these past few years I've felt more myself than ever. I'm finally moving on and healing completely from my past. It's such a relief to experience. I only hope someday that Tati can say the same."

"I hope so, too," Felicity said.

"Ok, Felicity. That's my trauma, that's my big secret. What's yours?" She suddenly felt the pressure to speak thrust upon her. Fists clenched, muscles tight, heart racing and jaw hurting. The words refused to form nor cooperate with her stiff, dry mouth, her chapped lips. "It's okay," Zephyr reminded her gently. "Remember what I said."

"Right, right. It's just.. Hard to talk about."

"Talking about it will make it easier, won't it? It did for me. It hurts to relive, but can feel relieving to know there's someone there for you to support you. To know that it gets better, and that someone can relate, and that we can help each other and push each other through our struggles, just like we have been."

"That does sound good. And maybe it's good to cry sometimes, I guess."

"Oh, it definitely is. Research even says so. Crying is a mad stress reliever."

She chuckled and sniffed, "Yeah, you're right. I've done research on that too. Makes me miss the internet."

"It'll come back someday. Probably."

"Heh."

"Hey now, you're changing the subject."

She chuckled, "Yeah, yeah, I know." Then, she sighed, and spoke at long last as the boat cradled gently, "My family was... unkind. They weren't cruel as yours was. I wasn't abused nor neglected. Merely ignored."

"That is neglect, Felicity."

"I guess emotionally, maybe. But not actually. Well, anyways, I had to be quiet and polite and perfect. I had a perfect older sister and a perfect younger sister. Full-on, cliche, blue eyed blonde hair perfect. I was queer. And I was the black sheep for it, of course. Left out in all situations. Felt a lot like Harry Potter when he was living in that closet. Actually, I held books way close to my chest because of it. Anyways, unimportant."

"It is important. It's okay to talk about it. It does sound difficult, and I relate to a lot of that actually. I'm here for you."

"Oh, thanks, but I haven't actually gotten to the secret part yet."

"Oh, continue, of course."

"Okay." She cleared her throat, then shakily continued, "My family was extremely religious. When the floods started, my family thought it was God's doing. But they had no will to survive. They didn't even want to try."

"Isn't God's whole thing to overcome challenges he sends you?"

"Right? But no. They thought he wanted them to die or something. They couldn't do it themselves, though, because then they'd go to hell. But you know... I'm queer. I'm going to hell anyways. So I did it for them, and then I left. I wanted to live, and hell scares me. It scares me a lot."

"So, the gun you had when we found you..."

"Same one."

"Oh."

"What do you think?" She couldn't read his face in the dark.

"I'll be honest, Felicity. That's a lot to take in. That's a lot more severe and impactful than what happened to me. How many..."

"Four..."

"Four people. Why couldn't you just swim away? Walk away?"

"I don't know, Zephyr. I don't know. I felt trapped in a corner and then I ran away, so pathetic."

"I'm sorry. It's a lot to process."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you."

He looked at her, eyeing her, and then said, "I'm glad you did. Nothing's changed. You're still you, even now that I know that. I trust you, I feel safe around you. And I'm proud of you for telling me."

"Promise?"

"Promise."