Becoming Karma
Felicity stood and watched Zephyr as he disappeared beneath the water and in through the window. It might take him a while, he reasoned with himself silently, the house isn't entirely underwater. I have nothing to worry about. Tati walked up behind him, scoffing something a fit as she looked down in the water.
"Hopefully he doesn't come back up," she spat, arms crossed, a sneer on her face.
"Tati," Felicity scolded. "He's your brother."
"As if you didn't already replace that."
"I haven't. He told me himself. I could never, ever replace what you are to him." Tati softened ever so slightly. It was barely noticeable at all. "He's tough on you because, honestly, you're not nice. You don't care about anyone around you and that shows with every single thing you do and say."
"Don't care?" She furrowed her brows, "I do everything I do for this group, for us, for Zephyr. I do everything that I do to keep us alive."
"You just said that you hope he dies!" Felicity said, raising his voice slightly. He was out of patience with Tatiana.
"He'd deserve it."
Felicity growled, "What has he ever done other than be kind to you?" The anger rose in him, boiling frantically, causing his headache to worsen and his eyesight to blur.
Tati growled right back, "Have you even met him? See the way he acts around me? He acts like I'm not there!"
"You push him away!"
"How dare you make this my fault?"
Felicity's anger boiled over, and ran straight through him and out in the form of harsh, loud words, "Tati, you have done absolutely nothing for this group! How come you didn't volunteer to dive, if you're so helpful and capable?"
"I'm not putting my hide at risk for your dumb ass!"
"You never liked me, not since you first laid eyes on me!"
"Course not, look at you, you pathetic piece of shit!"
"Can't even talk to me without swearing like a sailor."
"I am a sailor."
"Yeah, so is Zephyr, but he's not ruthless and cruel to others. Not even to you. He gives you about half of what you deserve."
Her voice lowered dangerously, "And what do I deserve?"
"Karma."
"For what?"
"All of your drama! Nobody else has drama like you do!"
"You and Zephyr were just fighting."
"And we resolved it. How do we? How do you and I resolve things?!"
"The only way our issues would be resolved is if you were dead!" Tati spat.
"I wish that I was!" Felicity had never truly been in an argument before, much less one like this; he was hot headed, but had had to remain cool and calm and quiet with his family. It, oddly, felt powerful and good to speak his mind for once. He disliked the confrontation, however, knowing that it wouldn't end well, and yearned to back out. At the same time, he believed Tati needed to hear what a problem she was becoming. The entire group had to pay for her issues. She could, at the very least, be aware of them.
She lifted her hands, powering up and preparing to strike Felicity, spitting, "Then you won't mind me doing it for you, you pathetic-" A sharp scream cut her insult and assault short.
Felicity's hair stood on end, tickling goosebumps running down his neck and arms as he slowly turned to look at the dusty blue house beside them where the scream had come from. Tati's gaze followed. Felicity stood at the edge of the boat, thinking for only a second, and then throwing themselves into the water, swimming down, holding their eyes closed. The water was scarier without light to guide him through it, though his hands did most of the work, dragging along the slimy surface of the wall until an open window was found, where he swam through and then upwards. He breached the surface, wiping his eyes and looking around, breathing deeply. The building made it dark, nearly black and difficult to see, and the dying light outside made it even more so. He was on the first floor of the house close to the ceiling, only about half a foot without water where Felicity could breathe.
"Zephyr!" He called. No response. His arms and legs were beginning to grow weary with exhaustion from the swimming, numb and stiff from the drilling cold, the day's activity catching up with him, and a heavy sleepiness keeping his gaze unfocused. Zephyr must have been upstairs; no way that scream came from underwater. Felicity drifted through the heavy, icy water, scanning what little of the dark room was visible until he could make out the outline of a staircase along the left wall, partial to the kitchen. He aimed for it as he swam, though it took him much longer than he had anticipated due to his exhaustion. Everything, from limbs to eyelids, felt heavy and weighted. Finally, though, he reached the stairs, and climbed up them and out of the freezing water. The black water gently lapped at the stairs where they were submerged, and all seemed still and silent for a long second of time. It was actually creepy to Felicity, the silence, the cold, the darkness invading his ability to see. It was eerie. He wondered if the clouds had parted, or if they still doused the sky outside, blocking out the stars and moon and making it all darker.
Felicity heaved himself up the wooden staircase on all fours, his heavy, wet clothes making it feel impossible to move, and the wet cold clinging to his skin making it feel impossible to breathe. Shuddering, he continued, and reached the second floor. It felt impossible here, too, simply because none of it was underwater. Clear water damage was visible, things soaked and scattered about, the ceiling and walls dripping and stained with leakage. Still, it was a house (partially) above the surface of the water, and that felt dreamy to Felicity. It was pitch black and difficult to see. Still, Felicity could just barely make out the outline of two figures, soft light drifting in from a far left window just enough to illuminate their edges.
He called out again roughly, his tongue thick and unwilling, "Zephyr?" Standing up, using the wall to support his weak, stiff legs.
An unfamiliar voice responded, "That your little friend?"
"Felicity..." Zephyr said, voice panicked and low and restrained, "Get out of here!"
And Felicity could only watch as the glint of a blade sheened, flashing for only a second as it caught the moon's light from the window. The heavy clouds outside thundered and shifted, allowing the moon's light to open up and stream heavier into the shady room; illuminating the figures' dark faces. Zephyr was being held at knifepoint, the blade mere millimeters from his throat, and then above him an older, pale woman stood with angry, glimmering eyes and long, messy hair. Half of their bodies were black with shadow, and the half facing the window were edged with soft, pale moonlight, casting sheen on the blade and their wide eyes.
"What do you want?" Felicity asked sternly, stepping forward and struggling to not stumble.
"I want you petty little thieves to leave my house alone!"
"We'll leave. I promise. But I won't leave without the boy you have right now, alive and uninjured. And if something happens to him, or if you don't let him go, then my group will come up here for revenge, and we will never leave your house."
She softened gently, "You care that much about this fool? Then teach him to be quieter next time he sneaks into someone's house." She shoved him to the floor harshly and stepped away. Zephyr quickly backed away from her, scrambling to his feet and standing protectively in front of Felicity, to Felicity's surprise. He stood squared in front of him, wide stance, tensed shoulders and hands in fists, ready to strike if the need arises. The woman only eyed them under the blurry moonlight, actually tossing Zephyr a bottle of pills. It rattled as it landed in his hands, and he glanced down at it sceptically, then back up at the woman with an eyebrow raised. "Anti-biotics," she said. "For that friend of yours you told me bout."
Felicity stepped forward, an arm around Zephyr's to reassure him and cool his protective stance, "You could join us."
"Where you headed?"
"Heading for the canyon... Don't know where else civilisation could be above water and accessible around here."
"Ya'll got a radio?"
"No, ma'am." The anger was completely gone from her aged face. Her hair was grey at the roots and dark, dusty brown at the edges, her face wiry, toned, and scarred from age, lines creasing every which way. She held visible wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. Smile crinkles. Despite her harsh welcome to them, she had then offered hospitality and kindness, and her aged face reflected this; with her neighbors being an armed gang, Felicity could not blame the woman for boarding up her windows and greeting visitors with a blade to the throat. Felicity then glanced at the window on this floor, the moonlight still filtering in. He assumed it was high enough above the water that nobody could reach it from the outside, and it was obviously locked. Upon closer inspection, he did recognise the glimmer of nails on either side, the shadow of wooden boards on the floor beside it, and intuitively, Felicity concluded that the window must have been boarded up for a long while, and then unboarded once the woman's neighbors had given up getting into her house. She never expected them to dive underwater to reach it, and for some reason, that gave Felicity an odd sense of pride about himself diving.
She spoke, her voice rich with authority and comfort and experience, "I gots a radio. Been listening to it so it ain't so quiet. They says the canyon is a way to go. Been rebuilding anywhere there's land. But more..."
"More?"
"Expecting more problems. More rain to fall here, several feet. It turn cold and icy, and we got no way to heat ourselves much with all the wood underwater an' whatnot. They're cuttin' some up for fires but need dry places to put it. So, they done started digging into the side of the canyon instead of building on top of it, building caves for homes and running deep underground for fresh water and storage. But I hear that's the place to go, locally. It's the only local place broadcastin' anything and askin' survivors to go there, sayin' they need more workers and hands and can provide shelter and tools to fish, tools to gather food and seaweed." Felicity beamed, turning to Zephyr who was equally as excited.
Felicity's smile faded ever so slightly, and he turned back to the woman, asking curiously, "It's too good to be true, isn't it? That's why you've not left yet, isn't it?"
"Well, 'suppose. Something like that, something of the sorts. I raised my grandkids in this house. I couldn't bear to leave them behind... But my son was protective, if not naive, and would have undoubtedly headed towards the canyon in hopes for them, if he heard the broadcast in time. I've been considering heading down there, but scared of what I'll find. I've read things and I know how these scenarios can turn bloody. Workin' people to death for promises of shelter and food, only to pay those with power, workin' for those with power. It is too good to be true. I got no doubt civilisation exists in the canyon; I doubt that it's one you wanna be a part of."
Zephyr spoke up, "I have hope." Felicity bit his lip, glancing at them both uncertainly still. Zephyr continued, "I have hope. Even if it is what you say, as I don't mistrust your judgement, I believe it could provide us with a chance for help. It's better than staying out here in the cold. We can leave if we don't like it there."
"If they'll let you leave," the woman said. "It's a risk."
"One we need to take," he reasoned, "Because we'll starve or freeze without more help and resources, without dry land." Felicity hated the idea of it, absolutely certain in his mind that they were heading not for a haven but for a poorly-led dictatorship, a world ruled by a poorly distributed authority and lack of people-led government. It scared him, and still, he was rational and could not deny Zephyr's true claims. Ultimately, he decided that the risk of a poor political situation was worth avoiding death.
"Okay," Felicity said. "Zephyr's right." He turned towards the woman and asked, "Are you coming with us?"
She sighed reluctantly, "You know, I gotta. I'll freeze here with no heat." She turned towards the clear window, "We can get out here. The water's a bit cold for me... For you too, I imagine."
"Just a bit," Felicity chuckled, still visibly shaking. "Think they'd hear us if we yelled out the window for them?"
"Not sure," Zephyr said, "We ought to just dive back under to greet them."
"I can do it," Felicity said, and the both turned to look at him quizzically.
Zephyr sighed, "Felicity, the only reason you're standing right now is because of your death grip on my arm." Felicity could not protest, although he badly wanted to. He only murmured and grumbled under his breath in annoyance.
The woman eyed him, and softly told Zephyr, "She's pale as can be... She's cold, too cold. But somethin' else botherin her?"
"Their first dive, they had to keep their eyes open under the water for almost a full minute or two, maybe even longer. The water was dirty. I think they picked something up from it."
"If it's a parasite, then there's nothing we can do. But a simple infection, worsened by the malnutrition... Now that we can deal with." She eyed them, then continued, "You better hurry. Scurvy is a killer on the waters... I've got some food up here in my room's pantry. Call your friends, and I'll sack it up in trashbags to travel with. Should keep us goin' for at least a little while." They opened up the window, all helping to lift one panel upwards, blasted suddenly with freezing cold wind that howled, burning their noses and ears red and flittering through their hair.
Zephyr, having a healthier and therefore louder voice at this point, stuck his head out the window and hollered, "Tatiana! Come round back!" He yelled it about three times before hearing a few incoherent shouts back and the rumble of the boat's engine flaring up. They watched in excited, humming anticipation as the boat pulled around the corner, Tati at the wheel.
"Who's that?" She spat.
"A friend!" Zephyr said excitedly. Felicity could not bring himself to look at Tati with anything other than a glare, and though oddly, Tati did not return the look with an equally hateful one; her eyes were soft, downturned, and she avoided Felicity's gaze as if it were life or death. Felicity huffed, feeling something like agitation and frustration, feeling something like a grudge forming between them. It was unusual for him as well, for generally he felt lighter once the confrontation was over, regardless of a lack of resolve. Though, Felicity had been pulled from shell that had protected him from an unforgiving family for 14 years, and now, his unruly emotions held neither any fear of abuse nor any healthy coping mechanisms to keep them in check. He was angry, and completely so. It buzzed his body, made his teeth grind and muscles clenched and held him back in a heavy, weighted manner, holding him down and making it even more so difficult to function appropriately and conservatively; to function effectively and productively. He wanted to tear that sorry girl apart for the things that she had said about Zephyr.
Felicity was poorly instructed of the ways of morality, though well instructed on the ways of social norms and mannerisms; though most social norms had died with his family, such as politeness in eating and decency or nudity, a few did remain, and one was an understanding between indiviudals meaning to remain silent around one that is unspoken for; Zephyr knew nothing of the situation between Felicity and Tati, and for his mental sake, they had a silent agreement to keep it that way.
Felicity, against Zephyr's wishes, helped to haul about four trash bags full of food, water, and various supplies into the plastic-lined floors of the boat. Then, he jumped from the window and plunged into the water. The water suffocated him, drowning out his senses and stinging his skin bitterly with cold. He felt as though he were on fire, in sharp, agonising pain, and suddenly too stiff to move nor swim; it was Huan who pulled him out of the water, as a worried Zephyr still stood at the top floor of the building preparing to jump once Felicity was out of the way. After Zephyr came the older woman. For being older, she was surprisingly fit and well-muscled, clearly having lived a life full of physical activitiy and hardships, and needed no help in nor out of the icy water. They had considered deeply on jumping straight into the boat, but on the chance a leg or ankle may break, they decided the water was overall safer. It was cold, but with the risk of the gang nearby, they couldn't wait until morning to travel. Still, the water and the air outside was extremely cold, and Felicity, the older woman, and Zephyr were all needed to strip completely and wrap up in a few blankets. As mentioned previously, nudity was very quickly thrown out of the window as being innappropriate or uncivilised; with the entire group living in a single boat for so long, it was only possible to change clothes, maintain hygiene, and use the bathroom in front of one another. To begin with, of course it had felt strange to all of them, but it was important and there was no walk-around; they'd all gotten used to it at this point, and accepted it as a part of the new world. Clothes, however, despite their comfortability with nudity, were an absolute necessity to fight off the elements, and rarely removed unless absolutely necessary. In this scenario, keeping on wet, cold clothing in such temperatures would prove to be hypothermic and quite likely fatal; with no sun available to dry them, the three would have to survive without them until morning. Although this sounds sarcastic, it could also be taken literally; surviving the sudden drop in temperature was a daunting task even without wet hair and with warm clothes.
The older woman was wrapped up in a large comforter from her bed, talking to Mareno and Huan. The three seemed to get along well, making small jokes. She introduced herself to the group as Lillian Faucet, and her charisma was not lost on any of them. She was clever, sarcastic, and with kind-hearted responses to any conversation. Felicity was glad she had agreed to join them, knowing that she would quickly become a valuable and loved asset to the group. Lillian brought fresh smiles to the group's exhausted faces. She sat beside Felicity, and then on the other side of Felicity sat Zephyr. They were resting on the cold floor, usng bags, blankets and a few pillows as cushioning and for warmth. It was actually rather comfortable, constructing a sort of fabric nest out of the comfort items, surrounded by the cushioned leather seats on three out of four sides, using the wall of them to hold up their bedding. A few sat or laid on the seats, feet in the pillows and wrapped up in blankets, while a few others joined Felicity and Zephyr and Lillian on the floor with the pillows. Tati laid on the plush blankets beside Zephyr, Kiui and Marina beside her. Huan sat on the chairs, and Mareno relaxed with his head in Huan's lap. It was a peaceful sight, the boat rocking gently on the water as if in slow motion with the motor silent and off. Tati had felt clear guilt for her earlier benevolence, resting beside Zephyr to comfort him and attone for her sins. Still, someone had to steer the boat; they couldn't afford to free-float the entire night. Tati would take the lead, and then Zephyr would take over in the morning so that she could rest. She laid with him for a few slow moments more, and then sighed, standing and making her way to the front of the boat, still wrapped in her blanket. Zephyr shifted his weight slightly. He slept lightly beside Felicity, leaning against the wall that held the seat behind him, knees pulled up to his chest, wrapped tightly in several blankets. The boat's engine churned to life and purred softly as the boat took off, bumping on the water. The wind suddenly became fierce, and Felicity huddled closer to Zephyr.
Zephyr stirred at the boat's start, turning to glance at Felicity under thick, glazed eyelids, muttering, "It's cold."
"I know." Felicity's voice was barely a murmur. The scene was soft and cool and wintery, the moon casting pale blue glows across the boat, shimmering in blinding reflections on the wavering surface of the black water. The pale light illuminated a side of Zephyr's dark face, making it appear glowy and soft like bokeh. His skin was dark red from the cold.
The boy leaned against Felicity, whispering again, his words slurred and drawled out in a way that made his exhaustion evident, "Share my blanket... Will make us warmer..." Felicity agreed, shivering, allowing Zephyr to help him beneath the layered covers. It was significantly warmer, and Felicity sighed contentedly, relaxing for the first time that he could remember. Everything felt safe, perfect, and oddly hopeful. Hope was not something that Felicity was much experienced in nor used to. Still, the soft breathing of Zephyr's body beside him, them huddled together beneath the blankets, the moonlight, the supplies and friends that his boat was now filled with, the resolution with Tatiana... It all allowed a sense of security and hope to form. It was fragile, and surely would be shattered soon, but for now, in this moment, on this night, Felicity was safe, calm, and content. Marina had taken anti-biotics and painkillers and was already feeling better. Tatiana was no longer causing issues within the group (thus far). The group had gained a valuable two assets, Lillian and Mareno. It all had somehow worked out okay, and for that, Felicity was eternally grateful. Felicity had also taken anti-biotics, and his body was slowly starting to feel less weak as it fought off a certain internal infection. He was lucky to have found Lillian and even luckier that she had been so kind to them. Felicity refused to admit it, but he likely would have died without the help.
Felicity's body was exhausted. Rest was necessary to recover from the long day. And so, he did. He leaned close to Zephyr, taking in his familiar scent, which, quite honestly, was not the most pleasant, and basking in his warmth. He wrapped an arm around Zephyr for his warmth, and Zephyr returned the gesture softly. It was a new sensation for Felicity; Zephyr's hands gently drug along his bare back, sending tickles up his spine. Felicity had been deprived of any sort of physical affection since he came out to his family; it had been years, and someone giving it so willingly, so casually, came as a shock to him. He bathed in the feeling, though, accepting Zephyr's sleepy cuddles with ease.
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