Chapter Four | A Brave Idiot

         "Shouldn't we mind-link Xander to come over." Though it was a question, Gnashton said it as a statement.

A statement that made me speak before I could even think as I sat up quickly and blurted out, "no!"

The three boys look at me quizzically. Fuck. I couldn't have been more fucking obvious.

"Why not?" Xavier asks, brows furrowed. "He's your best friend. Imagine the look on his face when he sees you here."

I didn't want to imagine that. I sigh as I slouch back into the comfy cushions of the couch as I looked up at the ceiling and braced myself to tell them the news that they had been oblivious about for over three years. It was pointless to keep it a secret from them any longer and it would be better to tell them now rather than keep them in the dark. Plus, Xavier's dumbass would yap away that I was back to Xander...he'd probably do that regardless though but I'd hope that Aiden and Gnashton would help me to keep his mouth shut.

Eyes still trained on the ceiling, I finally say it.

"Xander is my mate."

It felt so weird to say it and it left the weirdest aftertaste on my tongue. I've never really said it aloud. Even when it came to Kaylee, I didn't tell her that he was my mate, she figured it out so I didn't have to tell her. So truthfully, this is the first time that I'm saying it and hearing myself say it made my stomach stir uncontrollably. Saying it made it feel so much more real and I...I hated it.

I clench my eyes shut for a moment and then I reopen them and finally witness the looks on all of my friends faces.

Yeah, I expected this.

Xavier's eyes are wide open with his mouth agape, he looked like a cartoon character to me. Despite the fact that Xavier looked like your typical 'bad boy' he is truly nothing but a doof. The tattoos, muscles, six foot five frame, earrings perched gingerly in both ears, and nose stud on his right nostril counteracted heavily with his actual personality.

Aiden was equally shocked but his eyes were the only thing that gave that away. Aiden is much less like Xavier and much more...mischievous and has a variety of sides to him that were like a kid picking candy from a candy store except for the fact that some of the candy was either expired or downright rotten. He's the type that looks like how he acts which is what set him apart from Xavier who is indeed, a clown.

Then there's Gnashton who's fairly surprised but not overwhelmingly so. Surprised enough to where you see the seemingly minuscule raise of his right brow but his expression still remained stoic. He's the kind of guy that you don't really want to be friends with because he's not a friendly person and you'd have to dig until you broke your arms to find even the smallest shred of compassion and warmth from him — again, Niklaus only had the luxury to experience that with him.

Cold and emotionless, Gnashton didn't have a lot of people around him but people would stare at him from afar. Somehow, I was able to get along with him as he wasn't as bad as he appeared. He was rough around the edges but expressed himself more when he was around Xavier, Aiden, Xander and I.

They looked like they didn't know what to say and so I expected to wait it out but Aiden was the first to speak.

"You guys are mates?!"Aiden says dumbfounded. "I just...woah, what the fuck."

"Xander? Like Xander King? Your best friend Xander King? The same Xander King that is brothers with Eros King? The Xander King that is going to be Alpha? The same Xander who has grown up with us since we were babies? Xander King—" Xavier keeps rambling on but I cut him off.

"Yes! Fucking yes, okay? That Xander King." I shout in annoyance. "The Xander King that we all know is my mate."

I was afraid that if he kept saying his name, he'd magically appear like the old myth that revolved around saying 'Moon Goddess' three times and she'd appear. Some bullshit but crazier things have happened, like being mates with Xander King.

"How..." Xavier drifts off as he begins to stare at the floor. "How is it possible for you to have figured out that you guys are mates when you haven't even seen him yet?"

I blink. I lick my lips and just look at him, hoping that he would figure it out but that was too much to ask of him.

"Are you dumb?" Gnashton asks the rhetorical albeit legitimate question to Xavier. "It's pretty obvious."

"I'm lost too." Aiden chimes in.

Idiots.

Gnashton shakes his head, a smirk coming onto his face as he fiddles just slightly with his nose ring. "It's not that complicated. Jaylin figuring out that Xander is his mate is the reason why Jaylin left in the first place. Isn't it, Jaylin?" The insufferable asshole cocks his head to the side to look at me with an antagonizing smile.

I glare him.

Now Aidens mouth drops open and more shock fills Xavier's face. If I had to drink every time I saw shock or surprise on my friends faces since I've come back, I'd nearly be drunk.

"You're fucking lying..." Aiden trails off.

"Did you tell Gnashton and not us that you were leaving because you found out that Xanders your mate? Is that how he knows?" Xavier asks, looking at me.

"No, idiot. It doesn't take rocket science to figure it out." Gnashton says with boredom as he leans back into the couch and watches me with an expression I can't read.

I wish I could poke his fucking eyes out.

Aiden and Xavier continue to soak up this new information meanwhile Gnashton hits me with that infamous smirk of his.

"You really went as far as to fly hundreds of miles across the country to avoid being mates with Xander and avoid having to deal with your mate being your best friend." Gnashton grins but it wasn't one from happiness. It was a 'I'm enjoying the hell out of this' grin. A I'm-enjoying-your-misery and am highly entertained grin. "You're ridiculous."

Again, where can I find scissors to poke his eyes out?

"Fuck you and your crooked nose ring." I spat. "I don't want to deal with him being my mate. I...we just don't make any fucking sense. We would clash for fucks sake, none of it would work at all. Xander and I as mates is impossible."

"Oh my God." Xavier says all of a sudden. "That's the reason why you left weeks before his 18th birthday. No matter how much I tried to convince you wait to leave after, you wouldn't listen to me and were pressed to leave before it and now I know why!"

Aiden laughs in disbelief. "That's fucking wild, bro."

"You're telling me." Xavier mutters.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "I know that it was fucked up, okay? But what was I supposed to do when I didn't want him to find out that I was mate but his birthday was approaching and he'd immediately realize that I'm his mate. You think that I wanted to have to deal with that when I don't want to be his mate?"

"What did Xander ever do for you to hate the idea of wanting to be his mate that bad?" Aiden raises a brow.

"Like you can talk." Gnashton quips as an indirect gab.

Aiden glares his way only to be met with an innocent smile that was hidden behind the facade of a devils grin. I didn't know what Gnashton was referring to yet but context gave some of it away.

"You know how Xander is and you know how I am. That's enough of an explanation." I said.

They unanimously started to nod in understanding. Because they knew the both of us well, they knew just how much of a disaster that the combination of us being mates would be.

"What the hell was the point of leaving for three years when you planned to come back anyway and ended up still having to deal with being mates with Xander, mating with him, and will probably still be with him because he's your mate?" Xavier asked me.

I clench my right hand into a fist.

"No, that's not how it's going to go down. I spent three years mentally preparing myself to...reject him —" the surprise on their faces, with the exception of Gnashton, is palpable. "— and that's my final decision. I thought it through while I was there and no matter how many angles I looked at it from, it just made the most sense."

I saw the uncertainty in Xavier's eyes and I couldn't deal with it so I looked away. Suddenly the fire pit was more interesting to look at.

"Not everyone who has a mate has to be with them, you can be relatively fine without your mate. I prepared myself to sever the tie between us." My voice has grown a bit softer by now.

Jackson is whimpering inside me but I ignore it. The silence that filled the air only made me feel more gutted at having said what I said but I forced myself to remain placid; this is the right way to go about this, for everyone's sake.

Gnashton laughs like something funny was said and I look at him. He looks at me, his laughter dying out but the amusement on his face never faltered.

"It's funny that you really think that you can mentally prepare yourself for anything revolving your mate. There is no amount of mental preparation that you can do that could ever prepare you for anything like rejecting your mate. You won't be able to do it, especially since it's Xander King that we're talking about right now.

When it comes to your mate, your mates hurt is your hurt, your mates sadness is your sadness, and your mates happiness is your happiness. It's just nature. It's in our DNA to want to be with our mate, to crave them, to want them, have that carnal desire for them. There's nothing you can do about it so — " Gnashton's face turns serious, " — you will end up being with Xander King."

Everything about what he said screamed 'truth' and something in me was nagging at me as if to tell me that I was attempting to defy the laws of nature but I was simply just trying to do what made logical sense given who Xander King is and who I am.

Xander King is dominant, and is almost quite literally king of the jungle. He has things go his way whether the other party likes it or not and he always gets his way. Defying him, getting on his bad side, trying to overrule him, and refusing to submit to him when he commands you to do so is a recipe for disaster. His every being screams superior, and authority.

On the other hand, I am a stubborn piece of shit who says to hell with rules and I do as I please when I please. Independent and not reliant on anyone whilst putting my middle finger up high to anyone who dares tell me what to do, I am my own person who does what I want to do and I'll be damned if anyone tries to change that.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that Xander will want his mate to submit to him and that is something that I refuse to do.

I will never submit to Xander King.

Best friend or not, I refuse to do something like that for anyone. So looking at Gnashton, my defiant eyes tell him all that he needs to know. I'm silently saying 'fuck you' to what he said. The tall man sighs softly and shakes his head as he closes his eyes and places his hands behind his head uncaringly.

"I don't know if I should deem you stupid or brave." Gnashton wonders to himself.

"Hmm." Xavier makes a sound to indicate that he's thinking. "I think he's stupid and brave."

"He's a brave idiot." Aiden surmises with strong conviction.

I roll my eyes at all of them but the feeling of the mood growing lighter made my shoulders relax. "I hate all of you."

The laughter that filled the room upon hearing my exasperated words made me smile just a little.