∞ ʝσкєя ∞

Chapter 40 | Where

I want to die.

I should have fucking made sure that she put on her seat-belt when she refused to. She would still be by my side now but it was too late to save her, without risking cutting her in a half due to the broken glass. So, I left her in the capable hands of Batsy to save her, knowing very well that she would be safe in his hands. Batsy would never kill her.

Thinking that my dear nemesis Batsy must have brought Harley to the Asylum as usual, I searched and searched but I couldn't find her at all. I have searched everywhere, every corner of this fucking city but I couldn't find her.

The emotional pain of missing seeps through my bones, burying themselves deep inside and I couldn't get rid of it.

She was my cure.

There is no one to tell me what colour is my toothbrush every morning. I think its the green one, I am still not fucking sure. There is no one to wash me during my bathe. There is no one to give me neck massages. There is no fucking one to bring me breakfast in bed, and if they did, they always brought the wrong food. There is no one to sleep beside me to control my nightmares.

They have worsened more now.

I had killed five of my men last night during my nightmare.

Where is my Harley Fucking Quinn?

Your puddin' needs you.

I have tried and I have cried, knowing that a thousand tears can't bring her back. I have been starving myself, wanting to die each and every second. Dying was more easier than this pain in my heart. It fucking hurt so much.

Fuck.

"Puddin'..."

I placed my hands on my head, growling as I heard her voice echoing, my heart beating faster.

"Puddin'... Its me."

I started breathing heavily, a tear sliding down my eye and looked up to see a beautiful woman, in a blue and pink gown.

The dress she wore during the ball night three years ago.

"Babe?" I hesitated, wiping my tears away furiously to get a better look.

It was her. She was here right now. She is with me. She is back.

I immediately got up, hope and happiness rising in me as I reached towards her as she gave me a smile, a sweet smile that held my beating heart in her hands.

And I let her.

I let my hands circle around her and she was gone, just like that. I stood frozen in the spot, more hot tears of guilty and rage flowing down my face as I started cursing loudly, grabbing the gun on the table and held it to my fore head.

Just pull the trigger Joker.

Just pull it.

The pain will go away.

No. Don't. She needs you.

I breathed hard, throwing the gun against the wall and started grabbing all my weapons, placing them in a circle, all the stuff that I can use to kill myself. Then, I started randomnly picking up other objects in my trance, stolen laptops, baby clothes that I stole for Harley because she had found them cute and other stuff, placing them in a neat circle, momentarily feeling the pain inside me subside a little.

Just a little.

Smiling is my blood. Laughing is my bones. But, not a single smile nor a single laugh has left my mouth since Harley was gone. I couldn't even bring myself to smile just for the sake of it. My muscles around my mouth had become so rigid, it always had a hard expression. I need to smile more. I need Harley to know that I am not drowining in misery. I need to smile.

Grabbing the permanent marker on the table, I faced the mirror and drew a smile around my lips, forcing myself to smile but I still couldn't. Hurt swirled around my heart as I gritted my teeth in frustration. Hot tears flowed down my cheeks and I slowly walked over to the centre, almost losing hope as I held the random gun I had just grabbed tightly in my hands, ready to kill myself.

The door opened with a click and I looked up, pointing the gun ready to shoot anyone who comes in with bad news. Frost almost lifted his arms up in surrendering motion and eyed the circle around me before sitting down calmly on the stairs. I lowered the gun, his calmness indicating that he has news.

"Where is she?"

His response was immediate. "It's complex. This is not just her. Everybody's disappearing. There's this new law where if you're a bad enough bad guy, they stamp terrorist on your jacket. They send you to this swamp in Louisiana. A black site. That's where she is."

I let out a heavy breath, after a long time, a feeling of positivity rose inside me as I thought of seeing her again.

"So, what are we doing?"

"Bring the car around. We're going for a drive." I said, happiness filling my body from my head to my toe as I laid down on the floor in content. The muscles around my face pulled itself and I felt the pain of it trying hard to smile. The muscles around my lips had gone so rigid, it was painful to smile.

I have found you, babe.

Finally.

Fucking finally, I laughed.

In a matter of seconds, I dressed myself up, taking a nice bathe as I grabbed all the things that I would need for the mission. It was all going smoothly when my thigh felt a vibration. I froze as I looked down at my pocket which held my phone.

Could it be?

Without hesitation, I grabbed the phone in my pocket and grinned happily, my heart soaring when I saw a text from my queen.

'Officer Griggs. Belle Reve Prison. Kill him for me, puddin'.'

Hell yeah.

●●●

"You might want to keep your mouth shut." I heard Frost saying and I adjusted my golden jacket. I entered the cold room and saw the infamous Officer Griggs sitting on a chair, looking like a coward and I grinned.

"Can I go, man? What the hell is going on? This is crazy."

"Blah blah blah blah blah blah. All of that chit chat's gonna get you hurt." I teased, sliding my hands down his shoulder as I smacked him. He flinched visibly, jumping in his chair as he gulped.

"Oh my God."

I bent down to his shoulders, grinning as I moved slowly infront of him, giving him my most evil grin as I purred. Anger filled me at the thought of him touching or seeing my Harley but I controlled it as I stood, holding out my hand infront of his mouth for him to kiss my ring.

It wasn't even a matter of seconds before he kissed my ring. The gold ring with the letter J that Harley had bought for me during our times in the Asylum.

He was such an easy victim.

What a coward.

I fed of his fear as I thought of playing with his emotions more.

"I could tell you meant that!" I laughed deviously as I hopped onto his lap, knowing that it would make him highly uncomfortable as he tried not to surprised by my move. I held his face in my hands as I squeezed his cheeks.

"I can't wait to show you my toys."

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Hi!

Poor puddin'.

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