nights kept pondering my reckless vices
i sleep too early, wake up too fast. . .
it fringes myself, it haunts my slumber sighs.
i'm aware but unaware—i'm frightened but afraid.

the twilight became my afternoons;
the neon-faded ashtray horizon became my solace of melody.
I feel detach, self-sufficient and oddly-numb;
to all adventures of detours i'm negligent about.

what if i become a phoenix that never reborn?
what if I fell asleep in the midst of my hasty actions?
what if life besieges my color, in hopes of mural-captivation?

these questions kept pondering my puny soul...

i want this to be a blur,
i hungrily needed for this, to unwind.
i'm too tired to ponder questions;
my mind's been heavy—life's been polarizing lately.

i'm no philosopher to question the existential life.
i'm just a boy who is aware but unaware, scared but brave.
i just want to sleep like everyone else . . .
with only a thought to ponder.