Maya had been complaining she was hungry while Tessa was on the phone with Patrick. She had to sort out her feelings. One minute she was jealous. The next she felt guilty because she shouldn't feel that way about another man. She had had a husband, but she was kissing another man. She loved David, but he wasn't coming back. He left them. Sweep.

Patrick wanted to come over. Her daughters would be asleep, but to them he was a stranger. If Chloe heard he was Kevin's father, she'd be excited. She couldn't stop talking about the teen.

Tessa couldn't stop thinking about looking so different from his wife. Was it good or bad? Patrick didn't look like David. It would be like comparing Ryan Gosling to Ryan Reynolds. They didn't look alike, but both were gorgeous. Maybe it wasn't different, except she wasn't beautiful. Tessa never felt she deserved David, and it was the same with Patrick.

When her phone buzzed at eight-thirty, she almost didn't pick it up. She was afraid if she didn't he would drive over.

"Any chance you changed your mind?"

"No."

"I didn't think so. Kristi stopped by."

"Does she just walk into your house?"

"Why?"

"Because she walks into Megan's. She does, doesn't she?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter. We're all used to kids running in and out of our houses. She thought you were too friendly with her husband."

"What? She was the one telling Megan how good you looked."

"It wasn't me. She likes to tease about all the husbands. She was talking about Peter. The worst part is she resurrected her idea of doing a calendar with the men of The Point."

"Seriously?"

"I wish I weren't. She's vulnerable and comes off differently from how she feels."

Tessa didn't want to play games. "You're in love with her."

"No! She's like a sister to me. The idea of liking her like that... I can't imagine it. Trust me. She's a good friend who I see at least once a week."

She didn't believe him. "Like a date?"

"Not a date. We meet for coffee on Wednesday mornings, but I cancelled on her for more time to spend with you. Given a choice, I would rather be with you."

"Why?" She couldn't understand

"Because I like you. Accept it. I could come and show you how much."

Her belly flip-flopped. She couldn't let him. "Megan thinks Abbie has a crush on your son. He made an impression on Chloe too."

Patrick laughed. "That may be a problem in the Brenner house, because I overheard my son talking about the twin, Sophie."

"They're only in middle school!"

"I know. Hopefully, Kevin won't act on it. I haven't had to deal with my kids dating. Hannah had one boyfriend, but it didn't last long."

"Was she heart broken?" Tessa felt for the motherless girl.

"She was okay. At least that's what she told me. Hannah's quiet and can be too serious. She was the one who didn't like me dating."

Her heart pounded in her ears. "You told your kids?"

"Not about us. I've dated before. One woman a few times."

Tessa didn't know how to process that loaded sentence. He had already dated. She should have known. So he had already had his first kiss since his wife and probably sex. She had decided she wasn't going there, regardless of how her insides felt. Yet in the same sentence, he used the word us. What did 'us' mean?

"What happened? Did Kristi break you up?"

He laughed, but she wasn't trying to be funny.

"I decided she wasn't right for me. I told her the morning after the party. I would have asked you out after our dance, but I didn't know how the dating rules work these days. So I met her for coffee and ended it."

"And you never feel guilty?"

"I made a promise that I'd live and even try to love again. The living is easy, the loving might take more time. Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"I was just wondering, if the girls' father had passed too and if you felt guilty?"

How did she lead him to that question? Her heart was racing again. She thought of saying the words but couldn't.

"My daughter just got out of bed. Bye."

She lied because she was a coward. She didn't want to answer the questions that followed or relive it.

Her phone buzzed.

Dr. P: If it's yes to both questions, I can help you. We can help each other heal.

She didn't deserve him. She didn't want to heal. She didn't want to forget, but she didn't want to remember.

She took the girls to her parents' for Sunday dinner. When she pulled up to the eighty-year-old two-story house, the girls jumped out of the car and ran inside. She followed and instantly felt comfort when she stepped over the threshold. Her mother loved to bake bread, and her house permanently had the scent of baking.

Her father took the girls to the basement. His seedlings were growing under a lamp. He would tend them until it was warm enough outside.

Her mother said, "You look tired."

She hadn't slept well. Her conversation had disabled her ability to sweep it away. Between that and her uncertainty about Patrick, her present and past had boiled together into a sleepless potion.

She shrugged. Lying to her mother was a lot harder. On the mantle were pictures of David. Their wedding and the two of them with Maya. None with Chloe, because he was gone. At her house, she kept one picture by her bed.

"Tess, you need to move on. It's been over six years. You have spent them hiding and justifying it by being a mother."

"Being a mother is important."

Donna Murray said, "Not if you aren't a person too. Dr. Phil always says 'It's not how long you grieve, it's how you grieve'. Do you think you are the woman David fell in love with? He loved your spirit, but you've lost it."

"Maybe he took it with him." She felt the tears forcing their way through.

"You know that's bull. If he could send you a message, he'd say live Tessie. He would encourage you to find love again."

She instantly thought of Patrick. She didn't love him, which was just as well. They were at different places in life.

Only because her mother would never let up, she said, "I'm trying, but it is very confusing."

"Trying what?"

"To live. I have a new friend."

"Friend?"

"It's nothing yet. No, it won't ever be anything serious."

"Why not?"

"Because his kids are older, he doesn't want to go backwards."

"People do things for love."

Tessa sighed. "We don't love each other. We hardly know each other."

"Why are you not asking me to stay with the girls so you can get to know each other?"

Telling her mother was a mistake. "Because. Because we see each other on his day off during school."

"Day off?"

She blushed, anticipating her mother's reaction. "He's a doctor."

"A doctor! Honey, what's wrong with you? Don't let a doctor get away! What kind of doctor?"

She shook her head. "I'm not telling. You would google to figure out who he is."

"Fine. Don't overthink it. Date this man. You deserve happiness and some fun."

Her mother winked at her. She wanted to die. She should have known her mother wouldn't be on her side.

"I'll think about it if you promise not to tell anyone. I mean, not even Dad!"

"Fine. I'll keep it to myself, but I want updates."

She was certain she would. Regret filled her.