"What do you think Plue?" I asked as I was balancing on the edge of the river. I had my arms spread out on each side to insure precise balance.

I showed off my skills by jumping on one foot along the river bank. The people boating on the river were giving me weird looks.

"Be careful Lucy, one day you will fall in!" I laughed at the presence of my good friend Shitou Yagima. He was always on the river, and had warned me once again to take caution.

I remember the day that I moved to Magnolia. After I had unpacked, I took a walk through town. I had the crazy idea of walking along the edge of the river, and Yagima yelled at me. It brought back some déjà vu.

"I'll be fine Mr. Yagima!" I yelled back at him as I hopped off the ledge. "What a kill joy," I said in a joking manner. I instantly picked up Plue and held him near my chest.

I could hear him mumbling to himself, and he was smiling. He was always smiling, or shivering in terror. As we approached my apartment, the land lady appeared outside.

"Oh hello Miss Landlady." I said in a chirpy tone. She sent me a menacing glare. I instantly started to sweat, she always terrified me. She has a scary outward appearance, but she's actually quite nice.

She kept all of my belongings safe during my 7 year absence. She made sure everything was perfectly clean as well. I couldn't thank her enough.

The Landlady grunted and stormed past me. She stopped in her tracks and turned back towards me.
"Someone sent you a package, so I set it by your door," and then she was off. The street lacrima's suddenly turned on. I had forgot that it was getting dark.

A package? I curiously opened the door to my apartment building. I ran up the steps towards my apartment. I saw a small rectangular box sitting on my door knob. It was big enough to maybe fit a few letters. Plue looked at the box utterly confused. I patted his head and sent him back to the celestial spirt world.

There was no tag addressing who the present was from. I shook it a little, and the noise was incredibly soft. It did sound like letters hitting the surface of the box. I quickly unlocked my apartment and stepped inside my dark living space.

I turned on the light, and made my way towards my bed. I ripped open the box with my bare hands. As soon as its surface broke, a least half a dozen letters exploded into the air. They all drifted to the floor.

All of them said Lucy on the cover. They were in big black letters, and I could instantly tell they were my father's hand writing. I instantly felt my throat tighten.

I picked them up delicately. My fingers were shaking immensely. So many thoughts were going through my brain. Why are these here? Who sent them? More letters from dad?

I opened the first one carefully. I had a moment of hesitation as I pulled out the piece of parchment. Should I really be putting myself through this again?

I didn't care, I pulled the handwritten letter from its envelope. A photo suddenly fell from the paper. I turned it over and instantly gasped. It was a photo of me and my doll Michelle.

Except something was wrong. Someone had place a gigantic red X, over Michelle's face. Written at the bottom of the photo, "sacrificed for Lucy." I instantly put my hand on my mouth. I could feel the hot tears streaming down my face, and I hadn't even finished the first letter.

I threw the picture on the ground in terror and frustration. I remembered when she was fighting everyone in the clock tower. Then Brain II turned her back into a doll, and that was the last time I would ever see her.

The letter read, "sacrificed herself for an unworthy, selfish brat." I threw it on the floor as well. As I opened the rest of the letters they contained the same word format. Except the pictures were different each time.

A gigantic red X was over my mother's face in another letter, my dad in another, and our entire family. The only person not wearing an X was me. Eclair was even in one of the photo's.

I am a terrible person. All of these amazing people made so many sacrifices for me, and what did I do for them? Absolutely nothing.

I am worthless, I don't deserve this emblem on my hand. Fairy Tail wizards are supposed to protect those in Fiore, not kill them. All of the recent deaths had all revolved around me.
And then I realized something.

I am the issue.

I began to yell, and threw everything onto the floor with anger. The pictures of my parents, the pictures of my friends, even the picture of me and Natsu. The sound of glass breaking was starting to become familiar.

I crawled into my bed and curled myself up into a ball. It was like all of the terrible memories coming back to me. I couldn't stop myself from screaming. Everyone was disappearing from my life, and it was all my fault. I couldn't take it anymore, why was I such a nuisance?

"Natsu." The word was barely audible through my scratchy throat. I needed him. I couldn't do this alone.
"Please," I begged that he would magically appear at my door.

I stopped in the middle of my thought process.

I deserved to be suffering.