–I just wanna dive in the water, with you...
Baby, we can't see the bottom...–

Kim woke up sometime later. He was expecting to feel a weight on him or a warm presence next to him, but there was none. He felt around next to him with his eyes closed, but that side of the bed was cold and empty. He sat up and opened his eyes, looking around. Chay was not in the bed with him. His clothes and shoes and the rest of his stuff were also not there. 

Chay was gone.

A pang of something, a strange emotion, twisted in Kim's heart. He didn't understand what it was or why he was feeling this way. Chay was just supposed to be some guy he had spent the night with, just like everyone else. So why did he feel this way when Chay wasn't there when he woke up? Usually, he had to kick the other people he slept with out of his room when he was done with them, as he didn't like it if they stayed longer than was necessary. But Chay had left on his own, and he should have been glad. And yet it made Kim feel...hurt. Why?

Just then, there was a knock.

"Come in."

Big poked his head through the door. "Hey, Kim."

"Hey."

"Everything okay?" Big asked, walking in and shutting the door behind him.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Why do you ask?"

"You don't look okay and I just bumped into someone running out of your room about a half hour ago and it seemed like he was crying," Big explained.

Chay was crying? But why?

"Did something happen? Did you say anything to him when you kicked him out?"

"That's the thing, I didn't kick him out," Kim sighed. "He left on his own."

Big blinked in surprise. "You're telling me that someone ran out on Wik? I can't believe it," he said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Me neither." Kim flopped back down on the bed and closed his eyes. "It's the first time that has ever happened to me, and I...I don't know how to feel about it."

"It seems like it has hit you pretty hard," Big said, sitting on the bed next to Kim.

"I don't know, but it hurts and I don't know why."

"Maybe it's because you like him."

"No way." Kim sat up and turned to Big, a look of absolute horror on his face. "It was only one night."

"Some people have fallen in love faster, it's not a big deal," Big shrugged.

"I'm not those people and I'm not in love with him, neither do I like him," Kim clarified. "It's never gonna happen, not after..." he trailed off, not able to finish that painful thought.

"I know, but it's been years, Kim," Big said, worry in his voice. "Don't you think it's time you opened up your heart again?"

It was true, it had been years since that incident. It had completely shattered him, and it had taken him a long time to pick up the pieces and glue them back together, but along with that came a heart caged in ice. And he fully intended to keep it that way. Much safer than wearing his heart on his sleeve.

"I'm not ready to go through all that pain and heartbreak all over again."

Big pat Kim's shoulder. "Alright, man, I understand," he said, squeezing. "Whenever you're ready, I'm right here."

"Eww, no," Kim said, making a face, "you and I are never gonna happen." Kim shuddered. "Just thinking about it gives me the creeps."

"Okay, sheesh, you didn't have to be so mean about it. You could have just said no."

And even though he played it off as a joke, Big was a little hurt by Kim's words. He knew Kim didn't mean to be harsh or anything like that, but they still stung. He pretended to not be affected anyway and hid his feelings behind a fake smile. Thankfully Kim didn't notice.

"And what would be the fun in that?"

Big picked up a pillow from the bed and hit Kim with it. "I hate you."

"You love me," Kim grinned, taking the pillow from Big.

"You know what," Big sighed defeatedly, "I'm just gonna go. See you later?"

"Later."

When Big left, Kim groaned and fell back on the bed, throwing the pillow over his face. Even though he had disputed Big's claims, he couldn't help but think that maybe he was right. Maybe Kim did like Chay after all. Why else did it hurt him so much that Chay had left without letting him know, without saying goodbye?

He was usually pretty good at not catching feelings for those he slept with. He always just saw them as a means of pleasure and nothing else. None of them meant anything to him. Until he met Chay.

Everything was different with Chay. Chay had made him feel so special. When they talked, Chay had listened so attentively, and it felt like he understood him, like someone finally saw him for who he was and not his fame or his money. Even the sex was different. It felt a lot more intimate. And that was something Kim didn't feel like unpacking now.

What he wanted to unpack, however, was the fact that he missed Chay—a lot. No one had ever made him feel the way Chay did. And he wanted that feeling again. He wanted to hear Chay's voice again, to see his beautiful smile and sparkling Bambi eyes. Shit, Kim was fucked. It had only been a few hours and he was already feeling like his world would end if he didn't see Chay again. 

Kim screamed into the pillow. Why, oh why, was he so conflicted? He had promised himself he would never be involved with anyone else again after what happened to him. So why was this so hard?

And anyway, even if he wanted to see Chay again, he had no way to find him. Chay hadn't given him his contact, nor did he tell him where he lived. Not even the university he studied at. So there was almost zero chance he would ever find him again.

Eventually, after turning it over in his head for hours, he decided to just move on with life like he always did. 

Except it was a lot harder than he thought it would be.

For the next two weeks, all he thought about was Chay. His eyes, his smile, his voice, Chay consumed his thoughts when he was asleep and when he was awake. Every time he fucked someone, all he could think about was Chay. The way he moaned and whimpered when Kim touched him and kissed him, the way he screamed Kim's name when he came. Kim no longer felt satisfied fucking anyone else. It wasn't the same as fucking Chay. And he wanted to do it again.

He missed Chay.

                  •♡•✯•♡•✯•♡•✯•♡•

After narrowly avoiding getting recognised by Big when he left the club that morning, Chay managed to get back home without losing his mind. All he could think about was the night he spent with Kim. It felt unbelievable, unreal. He'd just spent the night with his idol. Sure he'd had fantasies about it, and how could he not? The man was drop-dead gorgeous. And Chay was only human.

He had just never imagined it would be like this. All of his thoughts, dreams, fantasies; none of them measured up to this. The most magical night of his life. And now, after getting his heart's desire, he wanted more. Maybe they could play and write music together, go on dates, maybe fall in love with each other. But it was all just a dream.

They were still practically strangers. And as much as he hated the idea, it was only a one-night stand and nothing more. Not like Kim would ever want there to be anything more between them, after all, Chay was only his fan. They would most likely never meet again, except maybe at a concert. But that would only be as idol Wik and his fan. That's all their relationship ever will be.

So Chay decided to forget about Kim. 

But for the next few days after that night, every time he walked the ache in his thighs and his lower back reminded him of Kim. Every time he looked in the mirror and saw the purple spots on his neck, the ache he felt when he pressed into them was a constant reminder of Kim and their night together. Kim was on his mind all day every day, even when his body stopped aching and the spots faded. He missed being called Bambi. 

He missed Kim.

                           ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

♡Author's Note: ♡

Hey guys! 😊

I'm so sorry for the late update, but I've got tests at school and my exams are almost coming up so the writing's been a little slow this week. But I promise I'll update on time next week.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I'll see you in the next one!

Love,

Ivy 💕