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Year 20
(part 2)

Christmas Eve Eve

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you," you ask as you lean on your door frame. Namjoon shuffles around as he tries to balance his rolling luggage as well as his backpack. What a dork.

"I'm good, kid," he smirks, hoisting the strap higher before squatting down to pet an eager Promise in between your legs. She whimpers, tapping her feet on the tiled floor, most likely sensing that he's leaving. And you're not too far from doing the same, not thrilled at all about spending your first Christmas alone.

You have to admit that it felt nice coming home to someone after work. You just wish it could be with the person you loved.

"I can stay another day if you'd like," he says, noticing you lost in thought, "you shouldn't be alone on Christmas."

You shake your head in response. "You should go back. They need you a lot more than I do."

He frowns, suddenly sullen about something other than leaving for his flight. Reaching out for a friendly squeeze of his shoulder to get his attention back on you, you offer him a reassuring smile yet his own shows no signs of returning.

"Kid..." he starts, serious as he allows his backpack to slide off and land on the floor with a thud. His eyes pierce your confused ones, scanning his face for a hint of reason behind his change of mood.

"Are you okay?"

He comes closer, grabbing both of your hands before he sighs. "Yeah...just you shouldn't be alone on Christmas."

"You already said that Joon-"

"No," he's quick to cut you off, squeezing your hands softly to get you to refocus. "Jungkook shouldn't have left you alone. You deserve better."

The words slip so easily off of his tongue, you wonder if he's been reciting them for years. He licks his plump lips as you wait for his eyes to turn into slits or for a dimple to pop out. Anything that might indicate that he's joking. But nothing ever comes.

"Where is this coming from?"

"A real man doesn't leave his girlfriend for 6 months and pass up the opportunity to come see her earlier."

"I said I was fine, Namjoon."

There's a glint in his pupils that you hadn't noticed before, something that shines every time he looks at you. Maybe it's because you were never paying attention. Namjoon is silent, the tension between you two so foreign and, frankly, awkward that you're forced to take a step back.

The feeling of your hands slipping out of his snaps Namjoon back to reality, a harsh reality he seemed to forget over the last couple of weeks of playing house with you. You will never feel as comfortable holding his hand as he will holding yours.

"I don't get it," he says slowly, his voice pained as he stares at his empty hand.

"Get what?"

"How he can just forget about you. I left for a year and I still can't."

You're stunned to say the least. You'd always thought you were a small drop in the deep ocean that was Namjoon's mind, the annoying kid he'd met a few years ago at the animal shelter. You appreciated the small friendship that'd blossomed between the two of you, rooted in frustrating driving lessons and your juvenile rants about high school. Yet you'd never thought you'd live to see the day when Namjoon would ever show an emotion other than the cool persona he so desperately wanted you to believe.

"What," you stupidly ask, breathless.

Your naivety is no longer a quality he enjoys so much as he sighs out in discontent. "Kid, don't make me say it."

Your grandmother is living with her new boyfriend. Your mother is gone. Sadia and Jimin share their own lives. Jungkook is on the other side of the globe. Namjoon was who you could count on during uncertain times. You can't help but feel a twinge of betrayal at the thought of him solely doing such acts because he was in love with you.

"Namjoon," you start, eyes glazing over in remorse, "I love Jung-"

"Jungkook," he finishes, spite in his tone as he shakes his head. "Kid...when are you gonna see that he can't-"

"Can't what?"

A third voice joins, the familiarity of it causing you to snap your head in its direction immediately. And you almost melt to the floor when you do. The tears already brimming your eyes fall rapidly as you scan him standing on your stone walkway. His raven hair covering the top halves of his pierced ears in long waves, a tight black turtleneck hugging his sculpted body lamely concealing the new ink adorning his neck. Every fiber of your being begs you to jump into his arms and never let go. But the soft, doe eyes that you've missed losing yourself in are replaced by darkness.

He hardly even looks your way, instead he settles his killer stare on Namjoon's luggage.

Another long sigh escapes him before Namjoon chuckles dryly, shaking his head as he grabs the handle and puts his backpack back on. "I've got to go. Take care, Y/N."

Namjoon starts to leave, offering a curt nod as a greeting towards Jungkook but your boyfriend shakes his head. Blocking his exit, Jungkook stands straight and huffs out, "nah, finish your sentence."

"Jungkook," you manage to say through trembling lips, your mind and heart still at war with what emotion to feel.

"You can't give her what I can," Namjoon simply answers without an ounce of hesitation, shrugging his shoulders as he motions for Jungkook to move so he can continue down.

But Jungkook doesn't budge, staring daggers at the man before taking a step towards him followed by a challenging "really?"

"Yeah," Namjoon chuckles, much more arrogantly, "and this proves it. You're just as immature as when you left her in pieces when y'all were 16. You're no man."

"Watch your mouth," Jungkook spits, gaze never wandering even if he has to look up to meet the 6 foot man's eyes, "take a hint. Every time you try to come for her, she doesn't want you."

"Namjoon you should go," you finally say. After years of separating his fights, you can recognize when Jungkook is ready to pounce.

Unfazed, Namjoon rolls his eyes, swerving around your boyfriend who allows him to move passed him this time. He turns, offering you a small wave and just to irk Jungkook more he says, "if you need anything, call me."

"She won't be doing that," Jungkook answers, matching his wave with a haughty smirk as you both see him off.

Namjoon disappears into a taxi, you watching it roar down your silent street until it is no longer in sight before turning to your stoic boyfriend. He's like a statue, face blank as he meets your eyes without a hint of adoration in his. You want to hug him. You want to kiss him. Anything. But he remains indifferent, which is why you stay still.

"When did you get back," you manage to say, hoping that the initiation of conversation will soften him up.

"When were you gonna tell me you got your own place," he says, eyebrow quirked like a sassy schoolteacher scolding you. "Had to hear about it from Grandma after I passed by."

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Cool roommate," he remarks, a snarky chuckle escaping him.

"Nothing happened between us," you reason, unconsciously lifting your hand to touch his face but stopping halfway through. You know better than to touch an angry bull.

You observe him for a few moments, his doe eyes finally softening from their angry slits into pained circles, glossy and black. "I gotta go." He stuffs his hands in his pants pockets, spinning on his heels to walk back down.

"What," your voice cracks, the sound causing him to stop. "I haven't seen you in 6 months and you're gonna leave me again?"

Jungkook stiffens, clearing his throat in an effort to keep his emotions at bay. He scans your face, tears flowing down your cheeks in rivers, your arms practically reaching out for him and he frowns. It's like fighting a magnetic force.

His voice is hoarse when he finally speaks. "I just...I can't believe you didn't tell me anything."

You're happy, sad, confused, angry, and afraid when he says that. But the easiest thing to feel is angry, so you settle on that.

"You were on the other side of the freaking planet, Jeon! I didn't want you to worry. I've told you, Namjoon is my friend."

The sound of his name leaving his favorite pair of lips is enough to remind Jungkook why he must leave.

Eyes red, warring with the tears that threaten to fall any second, Jungkook simply says, "I can't talk to you right now, baby. I gotta go."

And Jungkook leaves.

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Christmas Eve

Somehow your furniture-less home feels emptier than ever. The sky darkens by the second, casting a gray tint over every unopened cardboard box. Unpacking really isn't your thing. But neither is allowing someone else to unpack for you, creating a self-destructive paradox that Namjoon couldn't help but point out every day he had stayed with you.

Namjoon.

Even the thought of him makes your heart sting and your tears recollect because you can't forget last night. It feels as if Jungkook has slipped right through your fingers. No answered calls nor texts. He has just disappeared from the face of the Earth.

Jungkook was notorious for being an enigma to the rest of the world, but never to you.

You continue to toss and turn on your lumpy bed, cuddling Promise who does her best to console you wherever you move. You can't think. Can't eat. Hours pass like minutes and you fail to even notice your room slowly converting into a dark abyss, fitting considering your Christmas wish of the Earth swallowing you whole. But the world is cruel, demonstrated by fluffs of white swirling in the wind outside.

A white Christmas.

Of course.

You bury yourself further underneath your covers, Promise burrowing her way to join as your pessimism continues to gnaw away at your brain. Hopefully a blizzard will blow the whole city away. Hopefully the overdose of tears and dehydration will be enough to knock you out cold so you won't have to endure another second of this wretched night. Hopefully-

*clink*

You and Promise spring up from your bed. The sharp sound at your window has you frowning in dismay. The damn neighborhood kids couldn't have taken a holiday from being a complete nuisance.

*clink clink*

Promise props herself up on your windowsill behind your bed, sniffing around as she scopes out who to viciously bark at. You wait patiently for the warning. Sure she has three legs but she's still a menacing 60 pound pit bull.

When you hear a whine and the pitter patter of her paws, you turn just in time to see her huge face smushed against the glass as if she were trying to magically go through it. Craning your head to see what has her so riled up, you flinch back when another pebble collides with your window. You aggressively slide it open, ready to catch a case as you suck in a deep breath before sticking your head out into the frosty air.

But it leaves your lungs in a strained gasp when you spot Jungkook in a black and white Fila puffer jacket shivering in your snowy parking lot. He offers you a half smile, wiggling his fingers for a wave.

This little shit.

"What the hell!" You bark.

A bit startled by your outburst, he cups his hands over his mouth and shouts, "I can't climb into your window anymore!"

You roll your eyes, unamused despite the butterflies in your stomach that still gather at the sight of him. Damn him.

"Get ready!"

"For what," you scoff.

He places a finger over his lip and winks. "No questions."

Before you can respond, he's scurrying back to his black BMW definitely not made for the snow. You plop back down onto your bed. You have no idea what's going on in the bunny boy's head and as much as you want to completely blow him off and continue your wallowing...you're too curious.

With an exaggerated huff, you dig through your drawer for a random beanie to tame your frizzy mane and a coat that does not match your pajamas at all. Just as you're tugging on your boots, he honks his horn obnoxiously.

You're gonna kill him.

Stomping through the crunchy snow like a child, you don't bother to regard him holding the passenger door open with a grin before you sit down and cross your arms over your chest.

"Very elegant," he comments as you exit the parking lot, motioning towards your outfit with his free hand.

"Jeon, what's going on-"

"No questions," he shuts you down quick.

You bite your bottom lip in both frustration and to keep it from trembling. Your emotions suddenly catch up to you, the longing for this exact experience for months hitting you like a ton of bricks. He still smells incredible, like clean laundry with a twinge of vanilla. You missed him.

The car stops. Only then do you realize that you had been unconsciously admiring him the entire ride, failing to notice him pulling into his old gym.

"Jeon," you try again, falling upon deaf ears as you watch him fumble with a ring of janky keys as he skips up to the front door. A little peeved off that he ignored you, reluctantly you follow.

When the door finally opens, he grabs your hand and leads you into the dark. The scent is familiar, a mixture of sweat and lemon cleaning products. You remember when you'd help stay and clean the ring to make up for your loitering at Jungkook's practices. Of course it was just an excuse for more loitering, amongst other things. But none of it explains why you're back and the nostalgia isn't enough to distract you from your bemusement.

"Jungkook," you frown as he continues to drag you through the room, only stopping to flip on a couple of switches, illuminating the main ring in the center.

"Shush, come on."

Now you're fully peeved off, yanking back your hand in an effort to capture his attention. Again it fails as he continues towards the ring, ducking under the ropes as he enters it.

"Jeon, I'm literally going to kill you-"

"I know," he answers, ruining the angry speech you had already been formulating.

"You know?" You quirk a brow and fold your arms with your hip popped out.

"Yup."

He quickly peels off his puffer jacket and shirt in one motion, ridding himself of his sweats after so that he's left in nothing but a pair of gym shorts. Standing in all of his semi-nude glory, you force your brain to remember why you're furious at him and not to lose itself in tracing the intricate ink covering half of his right arm leading up to his neck. He spreads his legs, crouching down to bring his fists up in a fighting stance. "So, come on," he motions for you to enter the ring.

Suddenly you catch on, your eyes widening in surprise. "You want me to fight you?"

He nods, narrowing his eyes as he bounces around in anticipation. "Yes. Let's go, rat."

Is this what it has come to? Abandoning your civility like some brute to entertain this idiot's idea of making up? No formal greeting. No hug. Not even a freaking high five since he's arrived! Just him storming off last night and bringing you here without a real explanation. Maybe murder is too good for Jungkook.

You kick off your boots and fling off your beanie and coat, steam practically blowing out of your ears as you tie up your hair and approach the ring. Although you're strikingly less intimidating in your white cami and Eeyore pajama pants, you imitate his stance as best you can. You circle each other, you mustering all of your strength to focus on his smug smirk instead of every bloody line and ripple of carved muscle on display. But fuck his muscles...he ruined your favorite holiday!

"You brought me all the way here on Christmas Eve just to fucking fight you?!"

You don't allow him the chance to answer before you charge at him at full speed. You swing a punch, so sloppy and uncoordinated that it feels as if your arm has popped right out of its socket. It's no surprise that Jungkook dodges it, the trajectory causing you two to now end up on opposite sides of the ring. But the fire that is your rage is far from being extinguished.

"You left for 6 months!"

You strike again, landing a less sloppy kick into his right thigh that immediately ruins his signature boxer balance. He groans in pain, dropping to his left knee.

"And then you left AGAIN!"

Another strike, this time in the form of hook punch straight into his rib. Now he's laying, chest heaving with his face screwed up in pain. Yet he doesn't say a word, and you simply reason that it's because your hits have rendered him speechless.

You allow him the opportunity to get back up, a safe distance away in case he tries to take advantage of your mercy. But after a few heavy breaths you take his silence as surrender. Some fight, you think as you slowly approach him.

Jungkook has tossed around guys twice your size, you're sure your hits couldn't have possibly had any affect on him. Still, you can't help but feel a tad triumphant as you loom over his body. Singlehandedly taking down a 5'11" boxer is no easy feat, much less in two lousy strikes. You wonder if this is the same rush he feels whenever he wins a match.

"What are you waiting for?" He asks, watching you through the tendrils of black blocking his eyes.

Narrowing your eyes at the lack of strain in his voice, you ask, "what do you mean?"

"Finish me off."

You part your lips for another remark of bewilderment when something catches your eye. More specifically, a pair of red, beady eyes. They stare at you from his neck, just as mesmerizing as when you'd first looked into them at the zoo on your third grade field trip. It had to be your favorite animal, to this day. You follow the head down to the rest of the yellow Burmese python's body wrapped around his bicep when you notice the several Monarch butterflies also tattooed around. The same one he'd caught for you on your first day of kindergarten.

Sensing your gaze on him, his lips revert back to the pained smile he had faked before, only this time it's real.

"I promised it."

"What," you croak, your tears reappearing as you continue to gawk at his tattoo.

"If I ever broke your heart again...you could punch me in the face. So come on, finish me off."

You're 99% sure that wasn't the promise but that doesn't stop the tears from escaping.

"Jeon..."

"I deserve it. I hurt you again."

"So, what," you sniffle, squatting down to push away his soft hair, "this is what we're going to do every time you hurt me? Fight it out in a ring?"

He contemplates your rhetorical questions and juts out his bottom lip like a child. "It's all I know how to do."

You smile, sitting down and lifting his head to place it back onto your lap. "You don't change, Jeon."

At that, Jungkook frowns, springing up to his feet to face you with a serious expression. "I can," he states sternly. "For you, I can. I'll quit fighting forever if it means never leaving you again. If it means never making you so sad you run into someone else's arms."

Now you stare up at him through your lashes, lips pursed as you watch him run a hand through his hair. A few beats of silence pass before he sighs, plopping down by your side again. Jungkook can only act tough in front of you for so long before he realizes that you don't buy it for a second.

"I came here straight after I left you, yesterday. And I thought about everything I said...or didn't say I guess."

"You were hurt. We both were."

"I don't want to hurt you. And just saying sorry doesn't feel like enough to make up for any of it." You meet his sad eyes and can't help but smile at the sincerity of it all. He slowly matches it, a breathy chuckle leaving his lips before he shakes his head. "Will it always be like this? Are we always going to hurt each other?"

"I don't think so. Not on purpose, at least. But if we do, we could always fight it out like cavemen."

He tilts his head back and laughs, a bit embarrassed by his plan judging by the pink blush on his cheeks. It's contagious, reminding you of the sound you terribly missed as you join him. It fades when he finally faces you, tilting your chin with his index finger so that you're staring into each other's eyes.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'll never leave you alone for that long again."

"I'm sorry too, Jeon. I should've told you about everything going on here. I never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable."

"Ah, rat," he starts before easily gripping your waist and laying you on top of him, chuckling at your surprised yelp, "I just hate thinking about you as anything but mine."

Now it's your face that's flushed, the thin fabric of your camisole being the only barrier between your skin and Jungkook's. Placing your hands on the planes of his chest in an effort to put more distance in between you two, you glance over at his tattoo once again and allow a warmth to pool in a completely different area of your body now.

"I like the ink."

"Yeah?" He grins cheekily, craning his head to admire it himself. "It was supposed to be a Christmas present."

At that you can't help but snort. "Really? You've been gone for 6 months and brought back a tattoo to make it up?"

"Is my presence not enough for you?"

Your eyes soften, immediately seizing your quips and witty remarks as you rest your cheek on his chest and hug him tightly. "You're right," you agree.

Jungkook's eyes widen into saucers, his mouth forming an exaggerated O shape. "Since when do you agree with anything I say? Where's my stubborn girl at?"

Remembering Sadia's annoying observation, you can't help but roll your eyes. "I guess you just make me soft, Jeon."

Jungkook smirks, attempting to look as cool as possible although you catch the way his pupils dilate. Before you can point it out and tease him, his hand easily wraps around your throat and tugs you forward so that your lips finally collide with his. Your mind goes blank, a fuzzy feeling rendering you incapable of thought as his hot tongue gently parts your lips and his hands roam your sides. You'd played over your first kiss once he'd returned hundreds of times over in your head and never once did the scenario include you laying in the ring of his old gym. Yet as his mouth continues to move against yours, only stopping to smile in between the not so innocent pecks, you can't seem to think of anything better.

When you two finally part, reluctantly so, he gives you a pensive once over before staring blankly at a random object in the room. You can't believe he hasn't changed in 15 years.

"Lay it on me, Jeon."

"I was just thinking...how do you expect to live alone when you can't even order a pizza by yourself?"

Your smile disappears and you attempt to peel yourself off of him but he's quick to slither his long arms around your waist and keep you locked in.

"Hey! My social anxiety isn't something to joke about," you pout, slapping at his chest when he makes no move to loosen his grip on you. "Plus, I have a dog."

"She's as soft as you. Didn't even bark at me when I creeped up on you two yesterday. You need some real security."

You quirk a brow at what he could be implying. Playing along, you simply press a finger to your chin and pretend to think. "Hmm where can I get some of that?"

"I'm offended."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying Jeon?"

"Do you want to live with me?"

He grins evilly, squeezing you even tighter than before before burying his face into the crook of your neck. "Of course I do, rat."

"The Jeon Jungkook wants to live with me?!"

"Don't say it like that," he rolls his eyes in embarrassment, "I just want to make sure you're safe. And what's safer than me?"

"Yeah?" You ask, fluttering your lashes as you inch closer to his flushing face until your noses are touching.

"Yeah," he answers breathlessly, eyeing your lips enticingly.

Before his lips can attach themselves to yours again, you press your pinky against his. "You promise?"

He sighs, hastily bringing his pinky to link with yours and your breath hitches. Carved into his skin on the knuckle of his finger lies a curse on your relationship that you've warned Jungkook not to get ever since he'd began talking about getting any type of tattoo.

"Jeon! What the hell is thatmmf-"

Lips and pinky locked with yours, he muffles your outburst the only way he knows how. Brows still knitted in rage, he kisses your inked initials in an attempt to extinguish the fire which proves successful when your face relaxes into a pained smile.

"I promise, rat. Merry Christmas."

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:)) i was hoping to finish this by last week to keep up with the holiday theme but life got in the way
writing this story is always very healing for me bc it's more spontaneous
i hope you like it :)
(also try to tell me that getting his girlfriend's initials tattooed is not something jungkook would do)