Drums sound loudly in the distance

This is the time you've all been waiting for!

Echoes of 'Anyi Abiawala Ewo'  draws closer and closer

Dance. Dance. DANCE!!

Women dances forward with Hollandis around their waist, and white handkerchives covering their faces, ululating and dancing with white ones in their hands.

SCREEEEAAAAAAMMMM!!!!

Drums stop abruptly

Ndewo nu ooooooh

Silence. light trips off.

Is like you people don't want gossip abi? Asim Ndewo nu ooooh.

'Ndewo's rent the air.

Much better. You people think I called my meeting people here to play. Nonsense. 

Hisses and adjust Hollandix

Yes, It is I. The one we've all waited for. The one we've yearned to see in all of their humorous majesty. I have come with latest tea for you all, and of course, by tea, I mean, schnapps. 

Dances spread out, sharing schnapps and garden egg.

Ehn ehn, I know it's been a while. My predecessors have done quite the job with you all, I must say. Keeping people updated with ihe neme nu at your own risk dikwa dengelos. But I am here now, and ihe foro nu wu to shutdown!

Screams erupts from everywhere.

Okay, my children. Let's start from eviction night. Hush hush, now. Garden egg should not be the reason I won't hear myself. 

Alright. Eviction night came with ups and downs oh. Everywhere just na cha oku oku. The Contestants despite the eviction and disqualification before them, needed answers. And search for answers they did, 001 Pen Reaper heading the search for explanations from the head moderator. 

Soon things got pretty heated, drama brewing from controversial back and forths about the ‘Holy Spirit’. Yes, you heard well. Clean your ears and ask your neighbour if you didn't. 003 Lioness showed her feisty side at this, not stopping until her point was proven, many contestants backing her up.  

Despite all the drama, there were some who just wanted to move on to the next stage. People like 004 Jay. In her words,

“A stitch in time, saves yellow card oh”

And no, the drama did not stop there. 

Removes gele to scratch synthetic wig.

Yes, I mean what I said. The contestants only kept on hearing new things with each moment, more and more stories resurfacing behind the scenes. And with a someone said this, and another said that, 013 Bowl of fire's place in the house was standing on biscuit bone for legs.

With the judges tired and stressed out regarding the whole situation. Her fate was left in the hands of the contestants. Unfortunately, biscuit bone wasn't strong enough, and the aftermath saw the disqualification of the beloved contestant. 

Chews on garden egg loudly through the mic.

Nna eh, you people like amebo oh. Well, the gist isn't finished anyway, let's continue. 

In much happier news, the house took the return of 016 Summer writer very joyfully, congratulating her on her vindication and early entry into the top ten. Many congratulations were heard and lots of joy was see. Eugh. Oh sorry, Tufiakwa. 

Throws stem of garden egg into someone's eyes.

Finally, with every one heaving multiple sighs of relief, the stage 4 doc was released. 

To the surprise of all and sundry, the contestants took it well to a great extent. Some wishing certain themes upon themselves and chattering about their plans towards it. 

It was a happy time, with the the release of the faction overseers only causing more chatter amongst them, some regretting the theme choices of the over seers, as they'd hoped for a different theme. 

Where the real drama came, was with the selection of faction members. For just as the drama was brewing on the Main Crib over the underlying war between 001 Pen Reaper and 005 Trafalgar, the contestants were actively expressing their views on the overseers’ choices. 

An example would be 029 Medusa, filled with glee at being the first selected, but found lamenting at the jaw dropped combination. In her words,

“They got Trafalgar AND penreaper?? I quit”

Sighs in drama queen

Speaking of drama queens, 004 Jay showed up at nearly midnight, making unnecessary noise. Something about being picked last, and fainting multiple times, I heard. The amount of dramatic people di na this house ehn, I just tire. 

Scrunched face in disgust.

And of course, what is gossip without a little love? 

001 Pen Reaper and 019 The Ascendant are still going strong, standing up for each other and making noise about love love love. Unu mechionu. Ahn ahn!

003 Lioness and 005 Trafalgar are falling under this umbrella too, causing other contestants to begin to search for their own soulmates inside the house.

Hisses in 'those this resemble Love Island?'

As with every good love story, there must be a tragic end. That seems like the case for PenDant, 001 and 019 (ehn yes, I made it up, lemme), for a duel in stage 2, did not stop their love, but it looks like all it is going to take, is faction divisions. 

What happens when two warriors find love? I know the answer!

A perfect representation of ‘All is fair in love and war’!

Stage 4 has a lot to look forward to. Let's wait and see where PenDant, is headed. 

Squeals in heartbreak glee

Well, as the Preacher of war and pain that I am, I don't want peace, I want problem always. 

We can only sit back and wait to see the stuff that the factions are made of, whilst we keep our fingers crossed for more drama. 

Till then, enjoy this bit, my children, and always remember to take our amebo legacy everywhere you go. 

Ngwanu. 

Dancing erupts again,dancer ululating away, as the light comes back on.