Hello wattnaija!

Welcome to the batch Two of our

Yaayyy!! Is someone not excited?

And for this batch we will be having the following contestants

004 MAETH_AH

014 BEMA

022 SNEAKY COUGAR

030 ZOE

Can you sight your favourite among this four? 🤭

If  your favourite is among these contestants and you dont vote for them. Well, I don't know the colour of your problem😑

Alright, to the business of the day.

With a round of applause let's welcome contestants 004 Maeth_ah

004 MAETH_AH

The world around him was painted monochromatically and the sound of raindrops splattered against the zinc roof above them, doing well to overshadow the steady hum of the heater and Kemi's whimpers of agony. 

Wave after wave of contractions crashed down upon her, the mind-numbing pain making it difficult for her to differentiate the walls from the ceiling. 

The clock ticked tediously, Mark fixating his gaze on it as he tried not to panic, struggling to withstand the grunts she let out. 

He felt helpless, only being able to hold Kemi's hand, letting her grip tighten as the pain grew more and more intense. 

He wiped the younger's forehead with a cool towel, being guided by one of the nurses who was following the barking orders of the doctor. 

Kemi flinched and physically recoiled at the change of temperature. Mark removed the cloth as quickly as he could, looking towards the nurse for help as his wife whined and writhed beneath him. 

"It h-hurts." Kemi whispered breathlessly, face scrunching in discomfort as her uterine muscles tightened. Her nails dug into the back of Mark's skin, leaving red crescent marks in their wake from the blatant pressure of her grasp. 

Mark just nodded his head, humming affectionately in hopes of putting her at ease. 

He handed the rag back to the nurse, who moved to dip it in a basin, wringing it out and gently placing it on Kemi's forehead herself. 

The doctor moved around the room, never staying in a spot for more than a second or two as he made sure the nurses were doing their jobs efficiently and the birth of the child would be as smooth as possible. 

He reappeared in front of Kemi from time to time, checking how far along she had dilated, the position of the child and making sure the soon-to-be-mother's fever didn't rise. 

The first time he had tried to check Kemi's progress, she simply clamped her thighs shut, refusing to open them as her face burned with embarrassment. 

Mark had been by her side, duly cooing at her as he ran his hand through her hair reassuringly, ignoring the snorts that he managed to hear from the nurses around. 

The first stream of tears had rolled down Kemi's cheeks, paving way for more as she had slowly spread her legs and the doctor jotted down the two centimetres, which at the time, seemed like a far cry from the required ten. 

** * ** * **

Kemi had always been a sickly child, bedridden way too often to be deemed normal. She was unable to interact with others frequently, as her father feared it would worsen her condition.

No one could ever tell what exactly was wrong with her. There was no diagnosis at all and she was simply just fragile beyond medical comprehension. Several doctors, and even her own parents, often compared her to a Porcelain doll; beautiful to look at, but not meant to be played with. 

But she didn't care. Being the stubborn child she was, her parents would always find themselves getting ready to scold a Kemi who had snuck out and come back home with a colour wheel of bruises, scratches and scrapes littered all over her skin. She would smile up at them innocently each time, revealing her blood stained gum on excessively rough days. 

As Kemi grew older though, her condition only worsened, the doctor's prediction of her growing out of it proving false. 

Being a female didn't really help either. By the time she got her monthly cycles, her health deteriorated as she would sometimes pass out because of it, oftenly having to be hospitalized. 

On one faithful day, when she had grown tired of being cooped up in her hospital room, she had wandered out to the halls, using the IV pole as a means of easier transportation. Not caring she was only dressed in a hospital gown, she met her first friend; Mark. 

They bonded over the years, Mark frequently getting into domestic accidents and throwing tantrums until his parents agreed to bring him to the exact same hospital, instead of first aid, for treatment, no matter how irrelevant the injury was. 

Their young love blossomed, and before Kemi knew it, her father was leading her feeble, youthful self to the altar as she gazed upon a giddly Mark, whose smile was too wide to contain. 

A few months into their marriage, Kemi interrupted Mark at his workplace, showing up to reveal the news of bearing new life within her. 

The months of pregnancy were tough, their doctors always making it clear just how risky it was for Kemi if she managed to pull through and give birth to the baby boy that would seemingly come to light up their life late December. 

But she couldn't find herself to care. If she was going to be a burden in Mark's life forever, the least she could do was to make him happy and give him a child, right? 

** * ** * **

The hours stretched on, Kemi's body weakening as seconds passed. Mark and the nurses were by her side, muttering words of encouragement to her hearing. 

Her belly had since dropped, her chest rising and falling unevenly as she heaved and panted, eager for this whole thing to be over, and to be rid of the little demon in her body. 

And suddenly, it felt like her insides were being crushed, as if someone was carrying out the devilish deed of pressing down on her stomach in her given predicament. 

She screamed, throaty, long and blood-curdling, as her slender fingers fisted the sweat drenched sheets into a bunch, squeezing Mark's hand so hard that she could draw blood. 

She could make out the doctor yelling, rambling something about controlling her breathing and Mark's angry voice cussing at someone. 

Kemi felt like her body had been set ablaze, organs bursting and her insides being split open. 

And, just as suddenly as the pain reached its peak, everything around her dulled, giving way to sheer nothingness, a vast and empty field flashing in the distance. 

Time seemed to stop altogether. 

She could faintly see the doctor lift a small body up, little limbs flailing around and strands of hair stuck to its head due to the amount of blood. 

Kemi couldn't focus on the rest of the world, her breathing getting heavy and ragged, hands shaking as she fixed her eyes on the innocent being, taking in his delicate features. 

"A-Adeyemi…" she whispered weakly to Mark, voice thick with exhaustion as she summoned whatever strength she could muster, "his name i-is Adeyemi."

Mark placed his lips at the top of Kemi's hair as she tiredly smiled to herself, basking in the joy of knowing she, at least, was able to successfully give Mark a child. A family. 

Although, she knew it wouldn't last. It would vanish, together with her life, dwindling down to the stomp of a tree. 

"Please promise me you'll love him enough for the both of us…Mark, please."

She muttered pleas underneath her breath, her words quickly becoming incoherent as the world around her began to spin, spots of darkness invading her vision. 

She didn't want to leave yet. She promised Mark she would stay, fight a little longer, because it was supposed to be the both of them against the world, forever and always. 

But she couldn't find it in herself to struggle anymore. Everything just hurt and she knew it would be better if she just surrendered and let herself be consumed by the darkness that was calling her name. 

She knew she wouldn't feel this pain if she just let go. 

She was well aware that she was fighting a lost battle, and gradually, the pain lessened. It felt so peaceful to give up and for once in her life, not be pathetic.

Kemi could faintly hear Mark's cries, begging her not to leave him, reminding her of the promise she made to him in this same hospital. 

But she was already too far gone, pulling away from reality and sinking deeper into the comforting depths of sleep as let out her last words in a single breath. 

"I love you…"

COMMENTARY: Hmmm, Maeth_ah dey carry me go where I no know oo😭 that piece had emotions!!. Well, dear Audience what do you think? If you think Maeth_ah won your heart, go and vote for them.

014 BEMA

I held my daughter close, panic surging through my tired body after a whirlwind of pain and emotions. The sight of her tiny face made it all worth it after seven years, a cruel reality of my infertility. Only if she knew in her tiny heart that my world wouldn't welcome her warmly.

My heart raced as I increased my pace. An unprepared plan made to escape as the protection of my daughter mattered at that point. A shiver was felt down my spine anytime I glanced back to see who made me make a run for it. My spouse. 

The day felt as night as it grew darker, seeing the once-cleared sky become pregnant with rain. I ran out of the bushy path I birthed her, setting my destination for an uncharted land, confused and hasty. 

My footfalls created a rapid, pattering rhythm on the dirt path as I hurried along. I took a glimpse of my left and right, hoping for help but the whole area was deserted, a cause for my anxiety to run through my veins. My heart pounded faster hearing his steps quickened behind me, causing a thumping sounds as they clapped to the ground. 

"Help! Help me please," I panicked. My voice echoed, reminding me of how alone I was. 

"Stop if you love yourself," he exclaimed from where he was and I became more frightened. This man was going to kill my child because of a family tradition he had submitted himself to. A tradition which asked them to kill every female first born, as it is not allowed in Oghede land. 

"Leave her alone, please. You can't do this!" I responded, my nerve tingling and my tears streaming.

Hope wasn't lost. I pushed myself to run like I had never done and it began to work for me positively. I turned back again to see how he was doing but the distance between us had grown. My eyes shut for a second, a sign of relief for me, knowing fully well he couldn't get close to me but my joy was short-lived as I tripped over an unseen stone. 

I staggered and dropped flat to the ground, together with my baby, watching in slow motion how every situation was happening, leading to my elbow sustaining a cut which had me bleeding and in pain. 

I struggled to pick myself up, seeing my daughter cry in pain from injuries she might had sustained but I was kicked by a force stronger than me. I rolled like a lifeless creature, holding on to my elbow.

"I'm not heartless, you know me," he sobbed. "But this has to happen. I'm sorry."

"I'll do anything. I'll hide her if I have to," I pleaded for mercy, mercy he denied me of. "We waited seven years to have her. Seven years and you want to end her."

"Some of this is your fault. You could have given me a male child, Joke. What happened to birthing a boy? Is it too much to ask for?" 

"How dare you?" I endured the pain, still clutching my elbow. "You've the nerve to be picky? You're just like your father after all. Killing all his female kids just to end up with a bastard of a–"

He struck my right cheek, then my left and back to the right again. He gripped my neck, choking me, ignoring my child crying where she fell.

 "Don't you ever compare me to him again," he gave me a death stare. 

He reached into his pocket and brought out what he had on him. It was difficult to tell what it was but the cocking sound it made sounded familiar. 

"Is that a gun?" I asked as I began to lose breath. "Please no. Don't do this," My words began to break into intervals.

"May the gods accept this living sacrifice," He turned to my child, pointing his gun to her face. This caused me to cry for help more than what I had done, wishing for me not to see my daughter end in this disheartening manner.

"Move away from the road, this man," a familiar voice ranted out as I heard horns sounding in unison from the vehicles around. It was my husband's. Rubbing the side of my head as I recovered from this severe headache, I blinked my eyes as fast as a hummingbird flapped. Suddenly I knew I was in a different place.

Startled from my slumber, I realized I had fallen asleep in Lagos traffic. The noise coming from the two-lane traffic and the traders, hawking their goods with their call-out slang was unbearable. 

"Joke, is that blood?" Kunle gasped, losing his focus from the road. In my confusion, my hands touched my thigh, confirming my seat soaked in blood. 

"Kunle, what's happening to my baby?" 

COMMENTARY: Bema boo boo😗. Omo that was another wonderful piece from another wonderful contestant.  Audience the ball is in your court oo, Don't forget to vote for Bema boo if you think they deserve it🤲.

Let' have SNEAKY COUGAR!!

022 SNEAKY COUGAR

STORY ENTRY; TEARS AND THATCH 

My father is a bastard.

That was what Huri thought as she dabbed the damp rag on Oumar's wounds, a jagged terrain of lacerations—tissues and flesh torn apart into a bloody mess. How could her father be this cruel? She'd chosen Oumar, even without the sharo, she wanted only him.

Her fingers trembled as she dipped the rag into a calabash containing crushed sage leaves, the air filled with its slight peppery smell. He'd wince when she tried to clean off the blood from the inner tissues.

"Sorry," she'd gasp out, as if his pains were somehow being transferred to her. And really, they were. Her chest hurt; like the tears she'd been holding back had filled up all the chambers in her heart.

As she worked, the fear that someone might have seen her coming to Oumar's house gnawed at her; and she couldn't help but glance nervously at the door from time to time. He raised his head and turned to look at her. His eyes crinkled, his lips spread into a faint, strained smile.

"Huri?"

Her eyes looked everywhere but at him—the cracks on the mud walls, the stray thatch dangling from the roof, his herding stick.

"Huri." He sat up, his breath shallow as he tried to hide his grimace. She turned to him, careful not to let her gaze go below his face. 

She remembered, suddenly, the times under the large baobab tree; when the sky was mirrored the hue of the bruises on Oumar's back; when they'd talk and she'd hide behind her scarf smiling. Now, seeing him, half naked and in pain, she felt something inside her shift.

A heat crawled from her spine to her cheeks, she heaved up from the mat. "I'll be going now... Inna will look for me."

"Madallah. Thank you," Oumar said. 

Huri frowned. He shouldn't thank her. Not after what her father did. Not after what he had endured; lash after lash of rawhide whip.

She proceeded to the door, tugged the curtain aside and bent to go out when she heard his gentle voice. "Huri," he began, "I'll do anything for you. Useni, please, don't worry. I've won the sharo, so our troubles are over."

She took a deep breath, "Can you please cover your body?" 

"Ah!" She heard him chuckle and she almost dashed out of the hut. A tiny smile played on her lips. 

Huri hesitated for a moment by the threshold, she knew she shouldn't linger. Her step mother would look for her, and the it was getting darker outside.

Something drew her back into the dimly lit hut, she could hear the rustling of fabric as Oumar covered his body. Her eyes met his, and this time she didn't look away. She heard her father's hoarse voice telling her to lower her gaze; only harlots look at men.

Oumar was to be her husband, they'd be married in a few days; he had won the sharo. But why did the thought feel surreal? Like slipping out of a good dream.

Oumar was propped up on one elbow, his face etched with pain but also a warmth that seemed to envelop her. 

"Boddi, beautiful girl," he said with a smile, his voice softer than a whisper, "I'd endure a thousand more wounds for you. I won the sharo for us, so we'll be like the stars and the sky... so we can have a future tog–"

Before he could finish, the sound of approaching footsteps outside the hut made both of them freeze. Her breath quickened. Panic welled up within Huri, and her eyes darted toward the door. 

The curtain billowed inward as people stormed into the room. Huri saw her father, then her brother, some men of the Rugga and the man who had cowardly sprung up after a countable amount of lashes and lost to Oumar.

Huri hobbled back into Oumar as he stood up. Her father's contorted face didn't even faze her. Her brother—the only person she considered family—looked at her with disdain, like she was a prostitute.

"You!" her father bellowed, his voice like thunder. "What are you doing with my daughter?"

His eyes, fixed on Oumar, burned with a fury that made Oumar hastily push her behind him, coming between her and her father.

"Lamido, I'm so sorry,"—he clasped his hands before him—"I can never hurt Huriyya. We are to be married."

Her father's face looked as if he'd tasted sour milk. "Marriage? Look at this boy. You think you're worthy of my daughter?"

The elders and the other men fanned the flames of discord, the word 'abomination', accusations of 'only God knew what they were doing' and false anger cramping the hut. 

Huri's heart ached, she yearned to scream out her love for him, her voice an echo in her head. Please. Please, stop!

Her brother who had been glaring at them since, flung her to the other side of the hut and pounced on Oumar. The rest of the men followed suit, the sounds of flesh and bone breaking as they battered him.

Huri's voice was a siren drowned in the sea of bellows. Everything became blurry as they dragged his limp body out. Huri caught a fleeting glance at his face, unrecognizable now, she latched onto his leg, screaming that they should kill them together. 

His lips were moving: Mi do yiddi ma, I love you. 

Her head felt heavy, and she was tumbling away from him; her brother's kick sending her reeling. She writhed on the floor clutching her stomach.

Gradually, she became aware of the room's eerie silence. Struggling to lift her head, Huri's eyes widened as she realized the room was not only quiet but also empty.

She pushed herself up, her body aching, fragile as a thread. They'd taken him away. Oumar was gone. Huri knew what her father could do.

She fought to suppress her sobs as she stumbled out of the hut. The outside was dark now, she didn't care. She skipped across the swaying grasses, across the stony path that led to the outskirts of the Rugga.

She hurried past Oumar's garke, where his cows were tethered to a stump. Memories flooded back of the times when she and Oumar herded his cows back to the garke at sunset. She wept, her legs wobbly and wet. She had passed the creek.

In the distance, beyond the growing maize plants, she spotted a trail of smoke; blacker than the night sky. 

She saw a boulder and stepped on it. 

Although it was quite far, she could still make out their figures, gathered around a blazing figure bound to a stake. Their movements frenetic and wild, faces illuminated with the hellish glow of the fire.

The wind carried the crackling and hissing of the fire and a shout, so painfully familiar. Huri watched and watched as the fire consumed the man she loved. An anguished wail joined the chorus of the howling wind, she didn't notice it was hers.

Tears streamed down her face. She felt her soul burning away. Unable to endure the pain any longer, Huri turned away from the gruesome scene. Her legs felt heavy as she walked away from the blazing pyre. She stumbled I through the dark wilderness, guided only by her pain.

Her heart felt numb, like a stone, yet it still ached relentlessly. 

As she reached the creek, the swallowed her whole. The howling wind whispered dirges, and the rustling leaves offered their condolences. 

With one final deep breath, Huri surrendered to the dark waters, allowing the creek's icy embrace carry her away from the world that had taken everything she held dear.

COMMENTARY: Hmmmm, these contestants don confuse me finish😭, I no know who I wan vote for again oo.  Buh, I know the Audience already have their favourite in mind, so go vote!!

030 ZOE

TITLE: TWIST OF FATE

The crunch of bones, mixed with the sounds of fists, sticks, blocks and feet connecting with flesh and bones were the sounds drowned out by the cacophony of the angry mob that were raining blows on the young boy who lay crumpled and bloodied on the floor of the Mile one market gate.

*****

“Nna, let’s go nau. We’ll be late for block rosary abeg. Let’s hurry so we can come back on time. You know that Twist of Fate is by eight. Yesterday Aliyah slapped Pragya and Abhi came to hold her hand. Me I want to start today’s episode from the beginning beginning o.” Uju said, applying white powder to her face with her right hand while looking at her reflection in the broken mirror she held on her left.

“What’s my concern with Abhi and Pragya? Make Pragya sef dey fight for herself small. Sometimes violence is necessary to set some people correct.” Nnaigo said, stepping into the room with the waist of his trousers sagging, almost dropping, save for his hand holding it up.

“Please, I’m looking for my belt. You help me see am?” He asked Uju.

“When you were fighting Obinna and Kachi yesterday, you didn’t know that your belt would cut?” She asked, picking up her bag and putting her lip gloss on.

“How will I do my trouser now?”

“Ehn, take.” She said, shoving a thin green belt at him.

“Why would I wear this lady's belt?” He shot back at her, throwing the belt on her bed.

“If you don’t want the belt, use rope and let’s be going please.” She said, pushing him aside, heading for the door.

Uju was seated in the veranda, buckling her sandals when Nnaigo came out a few minutes later, wearing her thin belt.

“Better don’t cut my belt o. You that likes to fight up and down. I don’t even know how a boy will have bum bum more than his older sister.” She said, smacking his butt and running to the road.

“Older sister by 10 months. Whether you like it or not, we’re twins!” He yelled, following her and laughing at the faces she made at him.

*****

“Uju, you’re the one that wanted to hurry back to watch your film, now I have to beg you to follow me back? Seven thirty don dey reach na.” Nnaigo said, impatiently tapping his feet at the entrance of the market.

“Just let me enter and return this book to Nneka. I’m supposed to borrow another one from her today.” Uju said, dashing into the market again.

A pair of boys strolled towards Nnaigo, laughing and jostling with half-empty bottles of Gulder. The two boys sat on a bench close to Nnaigo and kept discussing in their raised voices.

Uju came to join Nnaigo shortly, and just as they were about to leave, one of the boys started to catcall Uju.

“Don’t turn, just be walking. Do as if you’re not hearing them.” Nnaigo said, his hand on Uju’s back, urging her to walk faster.

“Pretty girl, my friend is talking to you.” One of the boys had caught up with them, pulling Uju by her arm.

“Senior man abeg, no dey touch am.” Nnaigo said, shoving the boy’s hand off Uju.

“You Dey whine? Abi na your banny?” He said to Nnaigo, pushing his shoulder.

“Stop please, he’s my twin brother. I heard your friend calling me before. Tell him I’m not interested.” Uju said to the boy.

“You dey refuse me Munachi?” The boy asked, hitting his own chest.

“Ahn ahn. Big girl. I no know dey Diobu girls don Dey speak queens English o. Make I go tell Agaba sey you no do?” He said, flashing a knife at his waist.

Uju felt Nnaigo tense beside her.

“Wetin Agaba want?” Uju asked Munachi.

“Ehen, correct babe. E just wan reason you one or two levels. No serious lele.” He said, leading them both back to the bench by the gate.

Uju sat and Nnaigo stood beside her. Agaba gave Munachi some money to “get some drinks for my woman.” 

As Munachi left, Nnaigo moved to start addressing Agaba directly but Uju held his hand, in a gesture to restrain him.

Agaba began to profess love to Uju, telling her how she was the most beautiful woman he had set his eyes on and how he had finally decided to settle down with her as his wife.

He started to run a trail on Uju‘s thighs with his fingers.

At that moment, Nnaigo held his wrists firmly.

“Chief, eight don dey reach. We get things to attend to. We gats dey push.” Nnaigo said through his teeth, urging Uju to stand.

Agaba pulled Uju back down to the bench saying, “Push go where? Munachi never even come back with the drinks. Wait small, my baby.” 

“Oga, she’s not your baby. We don dey late. We go catch later. For now, we gats push. Sorry manchi.” Nnaigo replied, pulling Uju to her feet.

“Aboby wetin be the compass na? Why you dey mezebu? Who goes you na?” Agaba said, rising to his feet and shoving Nnaigo’s shoulder.

“Bros, only God goes me. No dey push me abeg. Uju I say make we comot this place now.” Nnaigo half-yelled.

Agaba held on to Uju’s wrist. 

Nnaigo pulled her away and Agaba threw a weak punch at him.

It became an exchange of fists and feet.

Soon, a staggering and drunk Agaba was floored by Nnaigo, and pinned to the floor.

Uju was running to and from the nearby gutter, scooping water in a tin can and handing it to Nnaigo, who was in turn pouring it down Agaba’s throat.

Uju sighted Munachi returning, and she and Nnaigo made a run for it.

Munachi started to scream “onyeoshi!!! onyeoshi!!!”

The men in the market were always alert and on the lookout for thieves.

They started to chase Uju and Nnaigo.

When they both got to the junction, they chose to split up, with Uju running towards the house and Nnaigo running in the opposite direction.

The mob followed and caught up with Nnaigo, Munachi caught up with Uju and beat her with a plank.

Uju fell from the impact and passed out on the road almost immediately.

The mob dragged Nnaigo back to the market front and began to mercilessly beat him.

Screams rang through the night, everyone making one request or another.

“Burn him!” 

“Kill am!” 

“Na you don dey thief for here since abi?!”

“No pity am o!”

“Nkem, open my shop, bring that two by two wey Dey the door.”

Nnaigo’s limp body was tossed around after he had passed out.

The security officer in charge of the market started to ask, “Who get fuel?” when Munachi stepped in and yelled, “Abeg, make una no vex. I don see my phone. I been think say the boy been move am before. No vex abeg.”

The murmurs traveling through the crowd started to dwindle to a few whispers, and subsequently, everyone dispersed from Nnaigo’s limp and bleeding body.

*****

“Nna, how is it doing you?” Uju said, peering closely at her brother’s badly wounded and bandaged face.

“I no even know. How we take comot that side sef? Na hospital we dey so abi?” He asked, trying to look around, but wincing in pain from the movement.

“Omo. It’s Nneka o. She saw what was happening and ran to call her father. They told me that her brother brought me here. I think her father brought you.” Uju said, helping Nnaigo sit up.

“You watch your Twist of Fate las las?” Nnaigo asked.

“Twist of Fate ke. Na two weeks don pass na.” Uju said, with a loud laugh.

“Two weeks ke?” He asked, the confusion evident in his tone.

Uju got up to pour out some tea from the flask set on the desk.

“It’s every day that I used to make tea for you sha. And I always washed it away every day too because you still never wake.” Uju said, wiping the tears that were starting to roll down her cheek with the back of her hand.

“Better call me Sister Uju from now henceforth.” She said, turning to smile at Nnaigo while handing him a cup of tea.

“Thank you, Sister Uju.” He said, punctuating the space between ‘sister’ and ‘Uju’ with an overly exaggerated eye roll.

“Well, Sister Uju, I can see that your green belt didn’t cut that day.” He said, trying to point at her waist.

“Na one half of the belt I dey use, Oga. I no see the remaining.”

COMMENTARY: I don't have much to say. Buh, I urge you all to go and VOTE for that contestant that stole your heart with their beautiful piece😗.
Meanwhile, we won't forget our Judges🤭.

Judges!! Take mic🎤

JUDGES REVIEW

JUDGE JK ROWLING

Bema stood out dramatically to me in this group. You all tried… but one thing I would commend Bema for is the way that they took a different approach to the theme, by trying to evoke the feeling of shock. At the end of the story, my mouth had actually dropped to the ground. Good job!👍🏾

Maeta_ah took the usual sob trope, but nailed it. I have to give it to you. SneakyCougar, I am rather neutral to your piece; you are a good writer, but I don’t think this is your best work. And Zoë? Omoh. I wanted to commend you for trying to take a comedic approach to the evoking emotions theme (by evoking Joy, I guess) and if that was what you were doing, it sha backfired. The end was completely off point. I am not sure what you were trying to do with your entry, but whatever it is, you most definitely didn’t do it. 

Nonetheless, I would love to give an extra advice to Bema… Try to incorporate more neatness into your work next time and be very much more deliberate about making your story flow steady. That transition from her dream to the main road, for example, was absolutely goddamn awful. Nonetheless, you were by far the best in this stage. Just be mire careful next time. I don’t warn more than once. 

JUDGE MAYA ANGELOU

Well, I’m not sure where to start. Zoe wanted to run me mad with confusion, sha. By the way, Zoë, you gave me a banging headache. Fix it. Send me money. Maeta_ah, your story was pretty amazing. I felt extreme sadness. Although, I felt you should have shown mark’s emotions a lot better than you did through the use of dialogue. It would have made the work a lot more emotional to show the man’s fear and anxiety to his wife giving birth. Bema, I don’t know o. You were trying to do something, I’m just not sure what. You were trying to get somewhere, I’m just not sure where. This is a complete leg down compared to your other works, to me anyway. Sneaky Cougar, you also did rather remarkably well. Your story was so beautifully sad, I’m sucker for the trope you presented. I felt it, good job. Zoe… le sigh, you will not be confused in Jesus name o. If you were aiming for a comedic approach, it was dead in arrival. If it was Sadness, then it was a big error.

JUDGE JAMES HARDLEY CHASE

This group was just there. Maeta_ah work was a good read, poor Mark. Bema was just there. Sneakycougar, I don't know what to say to him or her. Zoe's story gave me Port-Harcourt vibes.

JUDGE ARUNDHATI ROY

My overall impression with all the entries is just mid. Again, no emotions were really provoked. For Maeta_ah, I have no words for you. For Bema, I’m confused. You completely lost me, I won’t even lie. I still don’t understand how your story ended. Was everything a dream or what happened? For sneaky Cougar, your story is creative but that’s where it ends. Everything other thing was just bland. For Zoe, I’m not going to lie, I feel like you had the most very creative story in this stage but your execution was TERRIBLY done. Your writing, unlike the previous stages, was written poorly. It’s so so amateurish and judging from how you’ve been doing in the completion, it’s obvious you just decided to slack in this stage. 

JUDGE WILLIAM SHAKESPARE

i wast a dram did bite did impress by this group.  Bema didst quaint much well.  Maeta wast valorous, but i wast expecting m're.  Sneaky cougar wast quite well enow.  Same as zoe. 

I was a little bit impressed by this group. Bema did pretty much well. Maeta was good, but I was expecting more. Sneaky cougar was quite okay. Same as Zoe.

JUDGE ACTON BELL

Zoe, was it laughter you wanted to evoke from us with your story? Because I don't think I understood your story sha. Again, you guys made effort. But nothing really stood out for me. But then again, Bema, I think you managed to pull of this stage's theme way better than you did the last. Kudos to you, Bema. And kudos to y'all too.

JUDGE KAREN KINGSBURY

Well, I have mixed feelings on the stories in this group. Zoë, you were going somewhere with yours but it seems you missed it. If her brother had been burnt now, OmG, that would have entered. I would have been sad. I was glad he was saved, really, but you didn't even make the happiness of that one long lasting. Sneaky Cougar, I like the fact you were creative. It screams fresh and new, although the ending is a bit shaky. Maeta, your writing was nice to look at and your story was tragic. Sad stuff. Anyway, I actually like the way you wrote your story. 

JUDGE JANE CORRY

004 Meeta_ah and 022 SNEAKY COUGAR, yes you two, I loved your piece cause i actually saw a piece of tear in my eyes. A PIECE OO, I sha loved your piece. I loved everyone's piece too oo, including Bema and Zoe's entries. Zoe, I sha saw what you did in this stage 🤭. Kudos you all.

JUDGE DANIELLE LORI

Sneaky cougar's entry was refreshingly different. Bema's ending really elevated the entire story. Left me wanting more. I'm afraid I didn't feel much of anything from Maeta_ah's piece because I expected the ending. With Zoe... I had to decipher the pidgin like they were written in hieroglyphics 😂 but in everything, I enjoyed her piece. There wasn't much 'emotion evoking' but I enjoyed it.

COMMENTARY: CLEARS THROAT.  We have come to the end of Batch Two judges review!!.

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