Okayy!, Who is ready for this?

I don't think you are😁. Fasten your seat belt everyone as we bring to you , BATCH FOUR OF...

And having that this is a picture prompt, we have this as our prompt....

And, for this stage we are going to be having the following contestants;

020 MoonlightArtist

021 Star

022 SneakyCougar

023 Aurelius

Now, let's move on to the first contestants.

020 MOONLIGHT ARTIST
TITLE: HER EYES

"Honey! I'm home!"

Silence greets me as I step into my fiance's house. My body collapses onto one of the couches in exhaustion from my hours-long flight. I take off the blazer that is making me sweat excessively and also the heeled shoes that made my feet sore.

Just then, warm, comforting arms wrap around me from behind and this brings a smile to my lips. A further kiss on the cheek turns me to putty in the arms of the holder.

"Welcome home, babe."

I turn my head slightly to look into the beautiful eyes of my fiance,"You didn't answer when I returned, Kemi."

He smiles a little and flies over the couch to be seated beside me,"I am sorry. I didn't hear you at first."

"It is okay." I say, adjusting myself so that now, my head is on his thighs.

"Ebi." He whines, "Don't be upset na."

"It's really fine, Kemi." I mutter with a stifled yawn,"But you owe me dinner."

His deep laughter is the last thing I hear as I fade into a fatigue-induced unconsciousness.

—----------------—

The exquisite detailing on the abstract painting draws me in; the splash of bold colors that seem so aggressive, yet comforting and the aesthetic patterns, that show how adroit the artist is, looks particularly ancient but alluring all the same.

In my tiredness the previous night, I had failed to notice Kemi's recent additions to his collection. My eyes leave the hung painting and move to the console table that holds varying forms of art pieces but one catches my eye.

It is nothing like I've ever seen before. A small, fragile resin figurine. The delineation it possesses is downright insane, basically way too precise and lifelike. Like a minute human or something.

In amazement, I pick it up and critically study the statuette. To put it in a word, well two words, it looks fucking expensive; not just because it's a resin figurine, but the tons of gold jewelry that adorns it and the ebony-rich skin, contributes to its regal appearance.

Flecks of gold accentuate its sculpted cheekbones like an array of freckles. I pat down on its texturized hair and that's when I notice the eyes. They appear to have a film-like substance obscuring them.

And then, the strangest thing happens. In a moment of dizziness, I see its plump lip that is pressed into a neutral expression suddenly lift in a smile – A demonic, razor-toothed smile.

Instinctively, I let the statuette fall to the ground as I clutch my head in a bid to stop the dizzy spell plaguing me.

"What have you done‽"

I hear Kemi's angry voice, followed by even angrier footsteps as he marches towards me. With my vision slowly steadying, I look up at him, fear still making my insides churn with uncertainty.

"It – It smiled at me." I cry out.

Kemi looks at me like I have lost my mind,"How is that even possible!"

"Believe me! I – I was looking at it and then it smiled." I try to reason with him, "It has teeth. Actual–"

"Save it, Ebi. I just got this and now it's destroyed." The immense disappointment and sadness in his voice betrays him.

I bend down and pick up the split halves of the figurine, "Don't fix it. I know what I saw."

He snatches it from my hands, the anger returning to his eyes, and walks away banging the door to his room in the process.

Weak to my knees, I force myself to sit on the closest dining chair. I can't reel in my mind from what I just saw. I am not mad and I don't see things. So, this has to be real.

Resting my head on the dining table, I notice the paper stack on the chair adjacent to mine. Curiously, I take it, only to see that they are full of drawings and sketches and paintings relating to that thing.

Now, I get annoyed, angry even. Since when did Kemi get so obsessed with that figurine? Sure, he's an art fanatic but he never goes this crazy on a particular art piece.

My vexation gets the better of me as I burst through Kemi's door, "What the fuck is this, Brakemi‽ I leave for two weeks on a business trip and then you go nuts?"

He ignores me.

"I am talking to you, Kemi." I say, throwing the papers at him.

"You have shown enough disrespect towards my figurine."

I pause at the venom in his tone. This is not Kemi. At this realization, the room's door opens and I hear Kemi's voice, "What are you looking for in my room?"

Goosebumps sprout on my skin as a paralyzing fear washes over me like a tidal wave. I can feel the tears gathering in my eyes as I turn to Kemi that's at the door and look back at the now empty space on the bed where I thought Kemi was.

"After breaking that figurine, you scatter the works I did on it? What is wrong with you, Ebiere?" He sounds so upset as he gathers the strewn papers.

At this point, I can't hold the tears that fall freely from my eyes. I fall to the floor in a heap as I reduce to a crying mess.

"Kemi." I say to him, "That figurine is not ordinary."

—------------------—

Of course, he didn't believe me. He thinks that I'm against him. Against that art piece, if I can still call it that.

"Why did you discard my paint brushes?"

I stop blanching the vegetables and turn to him, "Me? I have been out since morning. I just returned."

"But...but I saw you go into my work room." He says, motioning in the direction of the said room.

"When have I ever gone in there without you?" I question him but then it clicks, "It's that statuette."

"Please don't start." Kemi mutters before walking away.

With a sigh, I continue prepping for lunch.

Days pass with stranger upon stranger things happening. From mild rearrangements to hearing footsteps and feeling a presence that isn't there. Let me not talk about how we awoke to see all our mirrors shattered to bits.

I can't breathe properly anymore, always on high alert and jumping at the slightest scares. But the worst change is Kemi's.

He just becomes so distant and...pained. As if breaking the figurine was like cutting off his lifeline. He is just so different now.

As I sit at the dining table with a silent Kemi, I can't help the uneasiness that overwhelms me. We are both just picking at our dinner, not really having an appetite.

To break the silence, we start hearing crashing sounds from the kitchen. In a panic, we go there just to find all the breakables rendered useless.

"I cannot take this anymore." I state firmly, "How do you explain this one? If I talk, it'll be as if I am disturbing–"

"Stop! Just stop it. I am sick of hearing you blame everything on the figurine."

"Don't you dare tell me to stop. I know you can feel it too." I fire back at him, "Where the hell did you even purchase that cursed item from?"

I notice the way he finally lets out a defeated sigh while reclining to the couch.

"I didn't buy it." Kemi says, "It fell out of that abstract painting I bought."

"What are you even saying?" I ask, coming to stand in front of him.

"The day you traveled, I was expecting a package." He starts, "But when I received it, I realized that the frame had been tampered with. I initially wanted to report this to the seller but then, the figurine fell out. And since it looks expensive and equally high-quality, I accepted it as receiving two for the price of one."

"Which painting?"

He points to it and I quickly go over and unhang it from the wall. Undoing the frame, I see the hurried scribblings on its interior.

"There is something written on here." I tell Kemi.

He stands up too, to see what I'm talking about.

If you're reading this, your life is in danger.

The figurine is broken and she has escaped.

I really hope you found this message before the final day because this is your last shot.

Fix the image. Find it and fix it. Or else, her eyes will open.

You have just 6 days.

Hurry! Or everyone will die, beginning with the person that released her.

I collapse to the ground in tears, "What have I done?"

"Don't cry, Ebi. The statuette is in my room." Kemi tells me before hurrying off to his room.

And then, it hits me. Today is the 5th day.

"No!" He screams, running back out to meet me, "It's gone."

COMMENTARY: Awww, that's was a sweet emotional piece. Let's see if the judges agrees to that

JUDGES REVIEW.

JUDGE KAREN KINGSBURY

I do not support your characters lifestyle but I like the direction in which you took your story. You made the image a figurine and you wrote the story well, nice job. And that warning at the end? Wonderful.

JUDGE JANE AUSTEN

Figurine, figurine, what's the best story of them all? Well, definitely not this one. All I hear of anything relating to the prompt is a vague "she." Who is she? Nobody has any idea, but she's supposed to be the main part of the story. Where did she come from? Where did she escape to? Nobody knows.

JUDGE MAYA ANGELOU

What's with you people and ruining a perfectly good story with nonsense ending 😑!

JUDGE JK ROWLING

Engaging read. I enjoyed this fairly.

JUDGE ACTON BELL

Come, Mr/Miss Moon, what genre is this? Because the thing no dey clear. The story is interesting and all, but what is it with you people and not following instructions? Omo. What kind of... In fact, I no go talk too much.

JUDGE JANE CORRY

Not me trying to understand what I'm reading here 😭😭 like dude, what is this? From the beginning was hmph! It doesn't even relate to what you were told to write.

COMMENTARY: Alright let's move to the next.

STAR 021

"The day is finally here!" Iye's brazen voice sets off, enveloping the vast space with its resonance and thickening the tension looming in the atmosphere.

The entire place went pin-drop silence, everybody watched closely.

"Who will be the next leader of the Anyanwu clan!?"

It was always so hard to believe that Iye was in her late eighties, her radiant smile doing well to brighten up her face. Her wrinkles were prominent but did nothing to taint her black beauty, her skin glimmering under the moonlight. She paced to and fro in the centre of the village square, her feet leaving footmarks on the reddish brown soil that covered the ground.

She had a white wrapper tied securely around her chest, golden jewellery adorning her neck, wrists, fingers, waist, ankles and toes. Each symbolised significance as a loyal citizen of Agiye.

For example, the huge golden pendant that hung perfectly on the third necklace around her neck symbolised that she was no commoner and had a rank in their society.

She had the loudest voice in the whole of Agiye. Her voice commanded attention. When she spoke, everybody listened attentively. Her words spoke volumes and because of these, she was appointed as the royal host.

She showed up at every event, royal gatherings as the host, gracing all with her presence and magnificence, dashing smiles and commanding aura.

"Good evening to all," she greeted, gesturing to the crowd of the audience sitting around her in a circular arrangement.

"It is indeed a wonderful sight to behold," her smile turned into a wide grin as she did a little twirl, both hands raised to the sky.

"Five clans that make up our beautiful community, AGIYE, coming together once more for other glorious events. One that would be talked about all over the earth for years and years and years to come." The crowd erupted, applauding, screaming, hooting and whistling.

After a few seconds, her fist was raised in the air, and silence was restored.

"The DAJI CLAN! They have been in control of the vegetation of Agiye, using the powers bestowed on them effectively and efficiently. Without the DAJI CLAN, food production in Agiye would be impossible!" She says, gesturing to the crowd to make some noise to which they gladly concur.

"Next, the AIYE CLAN! They are in control of the precious stones and jewels, making use of the powers bequeathed to them coherently. Without the AIYE CLAN, there wouldn't even be precious stones and jewels to adorn the king's crown!" The crowd went crazy once again, their clapping filling the atmosphere.

"The OSIMIRI CLAN, also known as the mermaids, are beautiful and ravishing species, ensuring that the powers allotted to them are used prominently. Without them, there wouldn't be a balance, a separation between land and water!" A round of applause erupted from the excited crowd, yet again.

"The YANAYI CLAN, work hand in hand with the DAJI and OSIMIRI CLANS, the depict when it rains and when it doesn't! They are no doubt the most important clan in Agiye! Without them, the DAJI and OSIMIRI CLANS won't even function effectively!" This time, it was a standing ovation, even the king himself rose to his feet, applauding the people of the YANAYI clan.

"But before I go on to the last clan and the reason we're here, I'd like to address a few more people that complete Agiye. All the clans work in unison to ensure the safety and survival of these people. They have no special powers, but it doesn't make them any less special. They are the largest part of Agiye; our great community. We commend them for their love and loyalty to the land!" Iye announced, excitement eluding off her in waves, a wide-toothed grin plastered across her face, eyes scintillating under the dim moonlight.

The reaction from the crowd was the loudest anybody had ever heard, the screams, hoots and whistles filling up the atmosphere, the sound of the drums thundering. The ground shook as they stomped their feet against the ground.

After the noise had died down a little, Iye continued.

"And now, for the reason we've all gathered here," she said, fluttering her eyes close and inhaling, her smile never leaving her face. "The ANYAWU CLAN, special beings who were consigned the power of the sun by our ancestors. Not only do they decide when it suns and when it doesn't, but can also extract energy, light, from the sun and light up Agiye when it's dark."

"Two months back, the goddess of the sun, leader of the ANYAWU clan, Rana, passed on, moved up there," she said gesturing to the sky, "with the remaining of our ancestors, to watch over us and pour blessings down to us," the crowd made sounds of agreement as they listened to her.

"And today is the day we all witnessed the emergence of a new god or goddess!"

The drums rolled and the harp played, everybody watching in anticipation.

"From the ANYAWU clan, the most powerful, resilient, brave and fierce men and women have been selected and Rana is going to choose the next in line to lead the clan.

"Please welcome, the entrants to the deity!" Her voice was louder this time, filling the atmosphere, and the entrants walked out as their names were being announced.

"Ezechukwu!"

"Haske!"

"Akoni!"

"Ìhè!"

"And finally, Oye!"

They were all dressed in similar outfits made of the same bright yellow material that was the colour of the sun. Golden jewellery adorns them from head to toe. They really did stand out.

"Unlike the other clans where the entrants have to battle for their places as gods and goddesses, the ANYAWU clan does it differently," Iye explained, her hands moving in exaggerated gestures.

"All they have to do is hold a part of the staff that belonged to the last goddess, Rana, and he who emits a golden glow would be crowned the next ruler of the clan!" She finished, moving to where the entrants stood before the whole of Agiye.

"This day was picked because today is the only day in a year when you cannot light the night up, the only day in the year that darkness looms." She explains to them, carefully.

They all nod curtly, and she turns her attention to

Haske.

"Do you understand, dear?" She asked the young girl and she replied with a smile, Iye mirroring her expression.

"Good," Iye said, bending to pick up the staff, holding it towards them.

"Here you go," she said to them and they each stretched out one hand, holding on to a part of the staff.

Nothing happened.

Everybody waited and waited expectantly, but nothing happened.

"What's going on?"

"It never takes this long..."

The crowd whispered amongst each other, their curiosity piqued.

"Is this the end of the clan?"

"Did they commit an offence abs are being punished?"

Time passed, they moved further and further into the night and still nothing had happened.

"This is pointless," Akoni broke the silence, letting go of the staff, frustration written on every inch of his features. "It never takes this long!"

"I agree," Ìhè's voice resonates through the vast space. "If this isn't a scam, I don't know what it is," she let go of the staff, walking out of the square.

"We've been standing here for hours, holding on to the dumb thing!" Ezechukwu spoke, letting go of his hold on the staff, the look of anger etched across his face.

"Today is probably not the day, Iye," Oye's voice came out soft, calm and collected and the crowd made sounds of agreement as he let go of the staff.

All four of them started to walk back into the thatched hut when something nobody expected happened.

The golden glow of light swallowed the entire place, causing everybody to turn their attention to the source.

Her eyes had turned white completely as she emitted golden rays of blinding light. She started to float, the staff in her hands raised above her head.

"How is this even possible?"

"But, she's only fourteen."

"It's not about her age, it's the quality she possesses; Resilience.

"Here you have it, beloved people of Agiye!" Iye spoke with pride, doing slow twirls, raising either of her hands to the sky.

"Rana has chosen!" She announced and the people responded, "The sun goddess!"

On cue, Haske dropped slowly to the ground, Golden freckles adorning her cheeks, the staff in her hand lit up for all to see.

"Oh, Hail the sun goddess!" Iye called

"Oh, hail the sun goddess!" The crowd replied.

"Oh, hail Haske!"

"Oh, hail Haske!"

COMMENTARY: Judges let's hear from you.

JUDGES REVIEW.

JUDGE JK ROWLINGS

I already had my judgement/verdict the moment that I read this. And this was for one and one reason alone...

JUDGE ACTON BELL

If I have to repeat, to one more person, how important it is to stay consistent with tenses, I will...ugh! Write more in active voice. Try dey avoid passive voice. E too dey make pesin speak unnecessary grammar. You broke dialogue rules, too. Anyway, Star, what happened to your creativity? I dunno, man. I am absolutely unimpressed by your work.

JUDGE JANE AUSTEN

Why's Iye reciting the roles of all the clans in such detail during a festival? If you're trying to use that to provide an explanation to us, it didn't work. It just makes things weird. It's obvious that events like this happen often, so people know all these details. You need to find a way to tell us things that won't make your story weird. E.g Iye explaining this to her toddler grandchild, for some reason. It'll fit into the story, and it'll also tell us what we need to know. That kind of thing.

JUDGE WILLIAMS SHAKESPEARE

Th're's forsooth a lesson to beest did learn from this piece.

There's definitely a lesson to be learnt from this piece.

JUDGE KAREN KINGSBURY

What is "when it suns"? You took time to get to the point in your work. You should learn how to get to the point faster.

This work was quite drab. My interest wasn't piqued and I just wanted it to end fast. Your description and punctuations were the only saving grace of your work. Upon that, even though, still, it took the grace of God to finish your work.

Don't write such again.

COMMENTARY: Alright, let's have the next contestant!🔥

SNEAKY COUGER 022

I

When a Crownix roars, the first thing they do is listen for whistling. If there is, then it's the Sacred Crownix. They hold their breaths, hoping it roars only once. But when it roars twice, they speculate—looking for the people they heard were sick or old people and get ready for condolences. If it roars a third time, everyone jumps out of their raffia mats, waiting for the blow of the horn—the Maitatsine are here.

But that night, it roared four times, which had never happened since Amaraé was born.

Her sister's arms clutched her middle, their pulse thundering in sync like a goat-skin drum.

Suddenly, a flash of lightning so bright she saw it with her eyes closed preceded a deep rumble of thunder. Her sister huddled closer into her.

Footsteps echoed in the corridor, the pitter-patter of goat hooves whenever she chases them away from foodstuffs. A gentle breeze wafted into the room, lifting the gossamer curtain.

She peered out from beneath her wrapper. Nothing, just darkness. Maybe the wine her fiancé gave her the day before was playing tricks on her?

Still curious, she slithered to the curtain and tugged it aside. At first, she saw nothing, just their spacious compound and the orange glow of the torches illuminating the moonless darkness. She craned to have a better look, and her neck went taut.

Shadows danced on the mud walls. A play of light and darkness, as the torches flicker with every gust of wind.

As if transfixed to the curtain, her gaze drew further; and beyond the shifting veil of shadows, five women dressed in black flowing garments stood like ethereal phantoms, their eyes drilling into her very essence.

One of the women stepped forward, her face bathed by the warm glow, Amaraé recognized her instantly—the artifact seen almost everywhere in Ghado.

Zara Ométa.

Amaraé's vision blurred, the world around her began to waver like a mirage. Her eyes focus for sometime, she doesn't see them anymore. The sound of the wind faded, the tune of silence coaxing her into darkness

II

Promises are illusions. Promise today, die tomorrow. A forest of withered plants and tangled thorns. Mama once told her that only two things kept their promises: the sun and death.

As dawn broke, the sun caressed the room, its warm rays playing on Amaraé's honey-brown eyes. She stirred, untangling her legs from her sister's; their wrappers cast aside.

She rubbed her eyes and caught a glimpse of Mama standing by the entrance.

Mama cleared her throat and said, "It's time to rise. Today holds heavy news." Her voice was solemn, causing Amaraé to sit up, her heart pounding.

"What is it, Mama?"

"Did you hear the Crownix?"

Amaraé nodded, recalling the unusual roars of the night and the vague, dream-like memory of the shadows.

Mama took a moment, her gaze shifting between Amaraé and her sister, who was still sound asleep. "It was a Sacred one."

Amaraé nodded again.

"Zara Zefinah passed away last night."

As Mama spoke, a playful breeze meandered into the room, carrying the earthy scent of the outdoors. Amaraé took a deep breath, her heart sinking.

Her mind flashed back to her dowry negotiation the day before, where she had seen Zara Zefinah and her newlywed husband. They had seemed so full of life and love.

"Your father has been summoned to the palace."

"Mama what will happen now," she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Your baba and the others are still meeting with the council. Now go on, go do your chores."

III

With each passing hour, news of Zara Zefinah's passing spread through the village. People gathered in tight-knit clusters, their hushed conversations finding its way into Amaraé's ear. At the stream, she heard whispers blaming the Zaras' marriage prohibition for Zara Zefinah's untimely demise.

Under the scorching midday sun, Amaraé adjusted the weight of the earthen pot balanced on her head. The relentless heat penetrated the earth beneath her feet, forcing her to pause briefly and seek respite by placing a foot on the other.

The distant chatter of some older women weaving baskets caught her attention. Their hushed voices spoke of the death of Zara Zefinah, suggesting that it was no ordinary passing. Rumors swirled about the involvement of Aminika, and the chances of an awakening taking place.

IV

Mind, body, and soul. Trust shatters and breaks. A shadowy figure sprawled on the grass, etched with subtle curves. A woman.

The moonlight casts its silvery glow, outlining the two figures standing above her. The wind howls, as if angry by the unfolding scene. The woman's hair dance sporadically, her hollow eyes staring into the sky.

One of the figures crouches down, their fingers delicately running down her thighs. Amaraé feels like a distant spectator, disconnected yet deeply aware, as if witnessing and experiencing the scene from another realm.

The touch against the woman's skin feels rough, like a farmer's calloused hands and Amaraé can feel it. His fingers go up until it meets her groin, then suddenly, she is being flung, yanked, battered, and jerked around. Amaraé feels it too.

She becomes powerless, a slave in her own body. Tremors shake her, and a soreness lingers between her thighs. Tears soak the grass. The two figures are leaving, their faces aglow in the silver light. Amaraé can see them. One strikingly familiar, the other acquainted.

The woman is still, until her breaths are coming out shallow, every gasp for air is painful. Her hand reaches for her neck; she feels something coarse—a rope wound tightly around her neck.

Her other hand pulls the rope as if driven by some unseen force, making the grip around her neck tighter. She fades away just like her last breath.

V

Amaraé didn't remember fainting, her memory blank as a canvas. Mama said she found her wet, amidst shards of the clay pot. She was scared at first but Mama reassured her it was just the heat.

The sun has dipped beyond the horizon, it's fading light kissed Ghado in soft twilight hues. They are gathered at the palace watching as Zara Zefinah's body was dropped on the platform. Whispers of ifs and hows hang in the air like a spectral mist.

Aminika came in with her entourage, all draped in pristine white gowns. Amaraé had heard of her, the gifted one who had the extraordinary ability to communicate with spirits, jinns, and could forsee events. Yet, it was her deep, ebony pupils that baffled Amaraé, as if they contained the secrets of the hereafter.

Aminika glided to the platform where Zara Zefinah lay. She knelt beside her, her lips moving in whispered chants.

Her entourage formed a semicircle around them, their eyes closed as they swayed in a trance-like state. They held various objects—peacock feathers, purple herbs, and black calabashes.

Aminika's chants grew louder, Amaraé could hear the incantations clearly, and her eyes—now complete ebony—glowed with an otherworldly intensity. She leaned over the Zara's still form, her hands adorned with silver rings hovering above her face.

She placed a hand on the Zara's chest and in a voice that reverberated through the wind, she spoke, "Zara Zefinah, the beloved daughter of the king. The twentieth Zara, the reincarnation of Zara Ométa. Our revered guardian, the one who made our homeland an impregnable sea before the eyes of the enemies, AWAKEN!"

She sprinkled the substance from the calabash on her face and slowly, Zara Zefinah rose, her eyes fluttering. A chill washed over Amaraé; she knew those hollow eyes.

The villagers gasped, and Amaraé veered back into Mama's arms.

"O Zara Zefinah, tell us how you came to depart this earthly realm."

Zara Zefinah's lifeless body responded like a marionette, moving yet lacking vitality. A ghostly whisper escaped her lips, and Amaraé's heart skipped a beat as the Zara's eyes fixed upon Aminika's face, but her finger pointed beyond the crowd, straight at Amaraé.

COMMENTARY: JUDGES, Let's hear from you!🔥

JUDGES REVIEW.

JUDGE ARUNDHATI ROY

The beginning was very intriguing and I loved it but afterwards? Everything turned flat and boring and it was a struggle to read till the end but it picked up again at the end. Random readers won't have the patience to wait for a story to pick up again after the opening paragraph so you have to always keep the magic flowing.

But overall, it's a fairly good entry.

JUDGE WILLIAMS SHAKESPEARE

Absolutely beautiful!

Absolutely quite quaint!

JUDGE ACTON BELL

Your descriptions were good, but some of them, totally unnecessary. Your punctuation was good, but like I told a contestant in the last stage, even that becomes redundant when you don't know how to tell a good story. Once again, please goan learn what fantasy is. Learn writing stuff. That said, I want to see you do something differently in the next stage— if you do get in. T for thanks.

JUDGE KAREN KINGSBURY

Present tense and past tense had a field day in your work.

An example from your work:
Amarae's vision blurred, the world around her began to waver like a mirage —Past.

Her eyes focus for some time, she doesn't see them any more —Present.

Whenever you are writing, learn how to pick a particular tense and stick to it. Especially if it's in a competition. Anything can ruin your chances of getting where you're meant to be. And if it's in your book, it can make your readers lose interest because they might be confused. And what is I, II, III? Your work was not it for me at all. At all.

I was bored reading it and I know the ending is meant to be 'gbam'! But because of the overall story, the ending was just there. Oh, and, I'm still looking for the picture prompt reflection in your work.

JUDGE JK ROWLINGS

I find you a mysterious writer, Cougar, but I like that about you. I loved the opening line though.

JUDGE MAYA ANGELOU

You are such a beautiful writer. Though, I don't think there is absolute need for you numbering your scenes. You can just put ample space between them to show the difference. And you made a punctuation mistake when you wrote "What are we going to do now," she asked. It was meant to be a question mark and not a comma. Given that every other thing was flawless, I think that was just a silly mistake.

All in all, your story was beautiful. It had Fantasy, and I loved it. Keep up the good work.

JUDGE JANE AUSTEN

Amarae🌚. That's a good one. I like this story, oddly enough. There's a slight resonance somewhere in my gut. What is the origin of the Maitatsine? Focusing a little more on that would have brought your display of the prompt to the fore, I believe. What significance does Zefinah's death have? I feel like it was a forced event curated simply to drive the story towards a climax. When you write the death of a character, speak of not only their body dying. Speak of their role becoming void, the people they used to serve reduced to shadows of their former selves. Things that show us exactly what their dying means.

COMMENTARY: And now, the last contestant for this batch!!

AURELIUS 023
TITLE: FACING FATE.

An ear splitting wail tore the air, accompanied with the thud of body hitting ground. I ran to court, my attendings fast on my heels. Rolling on the marbled floor was my mother, her updo askew, crown discarded at the feet of father's throne. I looked around at the courtiers, wondering the root of the commotion. I knew mother's grief when I saw an answer in the white robed, chalk marked Ifá priest. It was time to fulfill destiny.

I ran from court, as fast as my legs would go. Running as they ached, my heart begging for pause and my lungs burning for breath. I could smell it before I saw it. The salt air tickling my nose. I knew I would end up here. The oasis from my station. I sat down on the white beach contemplating how I could cheat fate.

I'm a child of prophecy. My fate outlined by Órumila, god of divination. Delivered by this same priest, in the infancy of mother's pregnancy.

Your womb shall swell by the hands of the Orishas. You shall bear a daughter. She shall one day rise to glorify the Orishas or raze mankind to the ground.

The queen scoffed at this, her daughter was certain to be a bridge. She was going to rule over Ayé and its realms together with the gods. The god blighted her womb.

When I was born I refused to cry, I refused the queen's breasts. My mouth remained stubbornly closed as she thrust them on my lips, her tears dotting my face. At my second sunrise, I was offered a cornucopia filled with honey collected from sunflower pollen. The wafting aroma of sweet nectar caused me to part my lips exposing a white cowrie sitting on my tongue. The symbol for Divination. I drank from the ram's horn, emptying its honey. As I drank my eyes opened up revealing irises of grey smoke, my skin turning dark like freshwater pearls. Olofin, the elder god descended from Òrún to give me my name when he saw my beauty. Oshun.

A play on the name for camwood powder, Osun.

Oramiyan, the creator, also descended to bless my fate, Ori. That was when the rumors of my godhood began.

A shadowy figure, too broad, too wide came into my vision. He peered down at me, his unseen eyes burning me. I looked back trying to meet he's in the waning light.

"Stand back," I said, putting on my persona of heiress.

He looked blankly.

I tried again, "I can't see you, show yourself" inserting asé, dominion into my voice.

"That won't work on me," his voice a monsoon storm, ringing, thundering, dark.

"I can see you, your skin shimmers as the carapace of the Nubian beetle."

I scoffed at him, not learning from my mother.

"You would see me now." He took the space beside me.

His words had barely reached my ears, when lightning struck the clouds. They parted. Opening up to winking constellations and a full red moon.

I looked down from the sky to the stranger beside me. Taking in his beauty. He was broader in the moonlight, his skin pale in contrast with mine. His face, an angular marvel. I looked up to meet his eyes but I found myself drawn away like an invisible load stone was set around them.

I settled on the brass circlet on his head and the double headed ax strapped to his waist.

"Are you a prince?"

"Are you a princess?" His reply, more fact than query.

He knew I was a princess, everyone in the human realms knew me from the silver coin that bore my semblance.

We sat under the moonlight watching where the sky and ocean kissed, listening to the northwind and the songs of the night creatures.

"What lies beyond the horizon?" I asked, eyes fixed on the converging vastness.

"That's the gateway between Ayé and Òrún. Earth and Paradise. That's Èsù's aspect. Preceding over life and death."

I said nothing pondering the Orisha of many aspects.

"I will take you there when you're ready," he added after my silence.

I looked at him, laughing at his joke. He joined in my mirth. His laughter, deep and rumbling.

The moon retreated behind us, the sun rose from the horizon making twilight in Òrún. I rose up, letting the blood flow back to my legs as I pondered my fate and end. He stood up with me and asked to do my hair. I let him. Any style won't be of use to me after tonight. He loosened my hair from the braided updo of court to a relaxed all back cornrow, his hands on my scalp tantalising and electrifying.

To finish he produced a fascinator fashioned from peacock tails, replacing my coronet with it.

He looked at, yet past me.

"Most people fulfill prophecies by running from them. Don't run from fate. Trust Ori to bring you good things."

When I got to the palace, the maidens and the priest, Ifáyemi, were at the door to my wing, awaiting my return. They barred entrance to my room, leading me towards the temples. When I got there I was made to kneel before the effigy of Olofin, the elder orisha. I was offered the milk of the poppy that knocked me out in preparation for the ritual rites.

The moon was shiny, bright when I came to. The hour of destiny was upon me. I tried getting up but was pulled down by the weight of something dragging me back. The priest offered a looking glass to evaluate the maidens' work. I was taken aback by my face. I've always been told of my beauty but I didn't identify with it until now. My hair was still in cornrows, the fascinator still crowning me. My eyelids painted with azure, accentuating the greyness of my eyes. My arms were stiff sticks caged in stacks of gold. Covering my nakedness was a marigold dress and on my feet a sandal of leopard hide.

The priest led me to the white beach. What was once a sanctuary would now be my grave. Imposing in its loud, crashing waves and sparkling sand. I sat on a bare rock. Ifáyemi and his initiates said a send forth prayer over my body and left me to wait for the god that would kill me.

He came shrouded in darkness, thunder and lighting echoing his every step. In the brief flashes of his majesty, I saw a white creature following in his heels. A long curious ax served as the eye of the storm. He came closer, growing larger every move. I sent a prayer of supplication to Olofin and another for safe passage to Èsù, bracing myself to be struck. In the chaos I caught the sweet smell of honey coming from the creature. Another flash, this one longer. The creature was a ram with a pithos.

There was something familiar about this menacing monster. In the broadness of the shoulders and assured stance. I dared to look at the god's face and I recognised it.

It was the boy I met last night.

I looked into his eyes, burning with fire, crackling lightning, blue and red.

Every bit of the primordial chaos Olofin crafted him from.

There was a louder rushing of wind and an ear pop. He retreated in size and power, once more becoming the boy I saw last night. I took him in and realised who the quasi boy was. Shango. God of thunder and lighting, fire and justice.

"I see you didn't flee from fate," he said, offering the jar of honey. I took it and he took his seat beside me.

"When you cross the Gates of Èsù, you'll be the first female Orisha," he whispered, his eyes fixed on my moist lips as I ate the honey.

"What aspects would I control?"

"What dominion do you want?"

He smiled, reaching out to graze my lips.

I looked at his perfect face and his rueful grin, his busy eyes and his offered nectar.

"Love."

COMMENTARY: Wow wow.
Judges, what's do you have to say?

JUDGES REVIEW

JUDGE ARUNDHATI ROY

Hmmm, even if your story was going to be captivating, your spacing would have made reading it and actually enjoying it a very difficult task. Intriguing storyline aside(which is not even the case in your entry) you need to learn how to make your entry attractive enough to read. Your dialogues weren't spaced out, lines were running into each other, paragraphs were clustered together and they all just made it impossible for me to get into the story.

JUDGE ACTON BELL

Aurelius, I like your writing style. It's pretty and has a poetic feel to it. Kinda also makes me feel at home? 😂Lmao, I'm not sure what that means. Anyway, I think your story is nice. And I think I get it, too. Most people try to run from a destiny of hardship, kinda, but your MC took a brave step by running towards it.

Take note of this, though:

Your starting line should be, "An ear splitting wail tore *through* the air." Not, "...tore the air." Get it?

Like I said last time, you have a lot to offer and I think I want to see more of it. For this piece, dare I say, that you did a good job.

JUDGE KAREN KINGSBURY

Aurry, why is there no space in between your work? Change the app you're using to write if it's not showing you that your work is clustered.

Another thing is some words are missing in your work. Where they went to is beyond me. How you did not see it is also beyond me.

Take for example this sentence:
*accompanied with the thud of body ground. ❎

*Accompanied with the thud of (a) body on (the) ground. ✅

Again, here.
*I could smell it before I saw it. ❎
I smelled/smelt it before I saw it. ✅

Also, here.
*An ear splitting wail tore the air. ❎

*An ear splitting wail tore 'through' the air. ✅

—Wondering the root of the commotion— Does this statement read correctly to you? If it does, then there's a problem.

I'm about to fish out minute errors I noticed. It should be : The salt(y) air tickling my nose NOT The salt air tickling my nose. Also, there should be a comma after the word 'drank' in the statement "As I drank my eyes". Lastly, trying to meet (his) not (he's) in the waning light. He's is the shortened form of He is. You see?

Anyway, please, please and please, do not mix God with god. Sango is the *god* of thunder, emphasis on small g, in Yoruba Land. Okay?

It's obvious you researched, considering what you wrote. But don't ever make that mistake. I like the ending of your work. But there is a lot of mistakes in your work and it has ruined it for me. I know you'll move on. But be careful.

Aurry, I'm watching you.

JUDGE MAYA ANGELOU

I love you story. It's a beautiful one. Though, I'm sure I mentioned in several reviews in the last stage that one of my biggest pet peeve in writing is lack of spacing in works. Your work didn't have any spacing, asides the one that you used to demarcate the scenes I guess. It made your work really hard to read.

But it's fine. I'm ready to overlook that because you wrote a beautiful story. Good job

JUDGE JK ROWLINGS

Fair enough.

JUDGE JANE AUSTEN

Aurelius, you do this one🙂. I had to come back and change this review when I read the mole's comments. You want to beat me, and now I want to beat you too, because what is this thing?

"Azure" is not a noun. It's an adjective. Your eyelids were painted with azure what? Simply say "my eyelids were painted azure..."

I like your pacing, although I do not like your plot. And I certainly did not expect you to make your own goddess generic as well. Love? Le sigh.

But the nigh impeccable pacing sold me. The sequence of events is well-timed, not rushed.
But the overall quality of this piece is well below your first round submission. I'll chalk it up to you not knowing how to write fantasy.

COMMENATARY: Wow, And we have come to the end of this batch. And it was so exciting!!

But guess what?

Nothing is more exciting than the next batch. Soo, stay tuned for the next Batch!!!🔥