Hello Cribbers!

We have come again with another session of...

Yess, you are right.

We bring another batch of mind-blowing story enteries by our contestants and also laughter filled Judges reviews🔥

Y'all take a breather😌, cause you don't know what is coming.

And, don't forget to vote for that Contestant that you feel worth your vote oo.

If you don't vote.  HMMMMM!

Alright, for this batch, We will be having the following contestants;

020 Moonlight Artist

026 Thatgirl

034 Handsomelad42

035 Aang

Do you think you know who you are voting for, already?

Nahh, I guess not. Wait till you read the enteries🤭

Let's welcome, contestant 020 MOONLIGHT ARTIST!!

020 MOONLIGHT ARTIST

STORY ENTRY: UNLUCKY LUCK

Most of her nightmares were about the things that happened when the sun was shining.

The instruction had been simple — Come to the abandoned block of classrooms at lunch time.

She knew better than to disobey. She wouldn't even dare. Not when all that she had labored for would come crashing down on her being at the slightest inclination of defiance.

Damilola couldn't risk it. 

Hurriedly putting her books away, she briskly walked out of the sparsely populated classroom. 

Lunch would just have to wait.

The animated chattiness of her schoolmates that she saw on the way didn't salvage her crumbling sanity.

Her palpitating heart and numbing limbs attested to the horror she felt within. More than anything, she wished that she didn't have to bend to their every whim. Dami wished that she wasn't at their mercy.

“How dare you?”

No sooner had she stepped into the foretold destination when the saccharine sweet voice, that held a special kind of poison, reached her ears.

“I'm—”

The sharp, resounding slap planted on her left cheek silenced her. Dami's eyes burned. They stung with fast gathering tears.

“Don't do that, Nifemi,” he calmly told his sister. “Her dirty skin will infect you.”

Damilola's head remained bowed, a thin stream of tears rolled down her aching cheek. 

If only — she thought — If only her mother hadn't been so adamant to enroll her in this demonic hellhole of a boarding school, maybe her life would have been better. Maybe she wouldn't be at the mercy of her aunt and her kids.

“You think we don't know what you have been doing abi?” Nifemi questioned. 

Dami only picked endlessly at her fingers, not knowing what her cousin was talking about. Obviously another one of their numerous blame games.

“Look,” Ayomikun said, forcefully yanking Damilola's chin,“you shouldn't wear our patience thin. Give us the money you stole before my mother gets here.”

“I—I didn't steal anything.”

She told the truth. Although she was unfortunate to live in the staff quarters with her wealthy aunt, she wasn't unfortunate enough to deviate from her mother's teachings.

“Is this how you repay us?” — his grip tightened with each statement — “My mother, our principal, took you in because your wretched mother couldn't afford common hostel fees. And this is how you see fit to show your gratitude?”

Saline liquid brimmed in her eyes as she struggled to ignore the crippling pain in her jaw. Just when she thought her mandible would be dislocated, Ayomikun harshly jerked her head away causing her to stumble and fall.

The delicate skin on her forearm bled at the impact but she couldn't care less. The head perpetrator had walked into the scene; heeled shoes that made a sickening click click sound with the cemented floor and the stereotypical long wooden cane in her hand.

Damilola immediately got on her knees, whimpering and pleading. For what exactly? She didn't know.

Mrs Idowu, her aunt, regarded her with a vulture-like gaze. She twirled the cane between her fingers, feeling its rough, scratchy exterior.

“Where is my money, Oluwadamilola?”

Her blood ran cold, her lungs tightened as she continued to rub her hands pleadingly. She knew better than to try to defend herself. She knew so much better than to try to point at the obvious culprit. It wouldn't end well.

“Ologbo ti ni ahọn rẹ?” Mrs Idowu asked. “Má ṣe jẹ́ kí n bá ọ wí.”

[Translation: Cat has got your tongue? Don't let me discipline you.]

“Ma, please,” Dami begged, “I didn't take any money. I didn't even. . .see any money.”

“Are you na saying that my mummy is lying?”

The death scowl from her mother shut Nifemi up instantly. Everyone in the school knew about Nifemi's history with thievery. Yet, she was the one being attacked because of her helpless situation? Pathetic.

“Ayomikun,” she said, “teach her a lesson.”

Damilola's world froze over when her aunt handed the cane over to her son. She scrambled to her feet and tried to make a mad dash for the exit but Ayomikun was quicker.

His rough palm latched onto the back of her neck as he squeezed tight before throwing her backwards.

Before she could recover from the fall, the whip had connected with her behind. She wailed, already feeling her skin blister beneath her muslin school skirt.

Ayomikun didn't relent, he hit her on every given spot, much to the delight of Mrs Idowu. Nifemi, feeling left out, proceeded to step on Damilola's ankles; balancing on them this way and that.

The poor girl screamed and trashed about. She begged but her pleas fell on deaf ears. The coarse texture of the cane had managed to draw blood and leave her skin welted.

She could hear Ayomikun heaving each time he brought down the wooden torture machine. He was really putting his all into tormenting her.

“Give it to me,” Their mother instructed.

“But—” he began.

Mrs Idowu scoffed, “You have hands and legs for a reason. Use them. And don't stop until she gives you the money.”

Surrendering the cane to his mother, she lightly kicked Damilola's head before exiting the abandoned classroom.

Dami laid in a broken heap on the hard floor, she couldn't move. Nifemi had succeeded in spraining her ankles, quite possibly bent them out of shape.

Still, she struggled. She dragged herself, not minding the additional damage she was doing to her body, away from them.

Her head had begun to get foggy from the sheer exertion she had been put through. 

Nifemi questioned, “Are you just going to allow her to go?”

“Just tell me where the money is, Damilola,” Ayomikun said from behind her, ignoring his sister in the process.

The lack of response only fueled his baseless rage. Roughly, he dragged her back by her legs and flipped her over. His thick soled shoe landed on her chest causing her to cough up blood. She gasped sharply at the intense pain that seared throughout her body. 

“Please. . .” she barely choked out.

But, Ayomikun wasn't having any of that. In anger, he crouched down beside her and rained blows on her head. All the while screaming for her to return the money.

“Beat her well o. She must talk.”

Nifemi's annoying voice still found a way to register in Dami's consciousness as Ayomikun pummeled her without mercy. Black dots had begun to cloud her vision as she weaved in and out of consciousness.

Annoyed, he stood up and paced about the room, wondering what to do with his cousin since he knew fully well how much trouble he would be in if he didn't get her to release the bone of contention.

A split second of manic anger was all it took to implant his thick sole in Dami's neck. The loud crack and a strained sigh that followed snapped him back to reality.

And just like that, the unfortunate life of a fourteen-year-old was brought to an abrupt close.

COMMENTARY: Omo, what did I just read? I felt anger boiling in me😠. But it is well😪.

Dear Audience, y'all know the drill now, if Moonlight Artist is worth you vote, Go ahead and vote for them😌.

ThatGirl, The stage is yours now

026 THATGIRL

The tears do not stop running down my face in torrents and I don't make much of an effort to wipe them off. It's raining cats and dogs outside and here am I, curled up on one of the sofas in the living room. I had gotten home sick few hours ago from the hospital where I work and the heavy rain only makes my condition worse with the intense cold accompanying it. This has been me for sometimes now and everytime I feel like this, it never ends well. I don't want to stop feeling this way though, I love it and hate it at the same time. 

The rain brings back memories, ones I do not want to relive but can't help doing so at the same time. I want to bury them in the deepest depths of my heart but it seems like they are forever ingrained and no matter how much I try, they keep resurfacing. 

Aduke; you were everything I could ever ask for and more. You were this massive ball of sunshine, this splash of rainbows and glitters that did nothing but brighten up everywhere and everyone you came across. You made my world feel right even when it obviously wasn't. I wish things didn't happen the way they did but then, I have no control over life and what it has in store.

We'd met under funny circumstances; my mother was a domestic worker in your parents' mansion and so, she lived with your family. I'd decided to spend the night in her room one day (She was ill) and you'd barged inside the next morning while I was changing clothes. You'd closed the door and apologised almost immediately, saying something about wanting to have a discussion with Mummy. Our friendship had started off on an awkward note but then, that dissipated after a few conversations. I still remember teasing you about that encounter every chance I had and you'd always have that cute flustered look on, that look I never got tired of seeing. You struck me the very first time I laid my eyes on you and I fell hard, harder than I could ever imagine. 

You were light, I was darkness. Your light illuminated my entire being and overpowered my darkness so much I was almost like you. Almost. You were so patient and understanding, keeping up with all my mess-ups and excesses while at the same time convincing me I wasn't the worst person out there. I fucked up on so many occasions and every single time, would come back crawling to you. You were always there for me with your arms spread open as usual. Life was hell but you made it a little more bearable. 

Forever in my heart is the remembrance of you helping me out of dark times after Mummy died. She was all I had but then, you made me realise you would always be there for me and that I still had you. You even went as far as convincing your parents to sponsor me through medical school when I considered giving it all up and dropping out. You made sure I got out of that dark phase of mine, I owe everything I am today to you. 

I was your first and your last. I was the only person you ever shared your body with. We were young, we were stupid, we were in love. We connected in so many ways even magnetic forces would be jealous. We were two souls who found meaning in each other.  I'd always searched for purpose and then, I found you. You were my purpose, my essence. You were my heaven and earth. 

If only the stupid hands of death did not snatch you away. If only it had not rained that horrendous night. I wish I could turn back the hands of time so you wouldn't have to visit that night. I wish I was the one in your place,  wish I was the one that unfortunate truck had run over. At least you would get to continue living life and doing the things you love. It hurts to think that you are gone, just like that. It feels like all of this is a bad dream and on God, I wish it is. If only I could, I would do anything to make it remain that way; a bad dream.

I was to propose to you that fateful night and forever have you as my woman, had everything planned out beforehand but then, you were nowhere to be found. I'd been the happiest man in the world that night, every single time I thought of you accepting my proposal, it brought a smile to my face. You made me feel like I was finally doing something useful with my stupid life. Everything had been set but then, it all came crashing down; my expectations, my dreams, my life. You left me empty and devastated, utterly useless. 

We had planned to go anywhere and everywhere for our honeymoon, make memories to last a lifetime and make love till the sunrise. Even if you wanted to go to the moon, I'd find a way around it. I'd shake the earth and outer space for you, I would do anything, absolutely anything for you. 

I had plans; for you, for us. Get married and live happily ever after (guess that phrase never existed), have twins like you'd always wanted and how can I forget, so many cats! Life is no fairytale, I know but we just wanted to be together. We simply wanted to live life as it should be, was that too much to ask for? I promised your parents I'd love you to the very end of the earth and protect you from every harm. I failed them. I failed you. I failed everyone. This is what I do best; fail.

You had dreams, they were so numerous and limitless. You wanted to further your education and obtain a degree. You wanted to open a mega store, have a brand attached to your name, own a charity organisation, travel round the world, be an activist and an award winning writer, even own a chain of restaurants. You had your whole life planned out, I had no clue who I was (I still don't have one). These numerous ambitions and aspirations scared you so much you had to confide in me. You saw me as someone worthy enough to bare your mind to and I'm forever grateful for that. You yearned to be everything all at once and how can I forget your favourite statement; 'I've got wings, you've got wings. All of God's children got wings.' All you wanted to do was fly without any restraint. You wanted to fly freely, you never wanted to feel caged.

Those dreams died with you, they fuckiing followed you to the grave!

I still see you everywhere I go and in everything I do; in-between the pages of my books, In the faces of patients I attend to every day, heck, even in my dreams. Your fruity scent still lingers around everywhere in the house and every single time, they remind me of you. It's been only three months since you left but why does it feel like eternity? I do not want to forget you. I do not want to lose the memories I have of you even though it seems like you are slowly fading away. It's like fine sand slipping off my fingers, your essence like smoke evaporating before my very eyes. I do not want to move on from you,  I don't want to ever forget you. 

You left when I believed you would stay. You left my life when I needed you the most. There is a huge void in me that needs filling,  you alone completed me. I want to say thank you; thank you for helping me on the path of self discovery and making me realise my worth. Thank you for making me strong. Thank you for making me a part of the life you spent here. You were light, I was darkness. We made such a beautiful pair and it was bliss while it lasted. 

The rain has stopped for some time now and everywhere is quiet save for the occasional flash of lightning and rumble of thunder. The tears have stopped too and right now, I feel nothing but an odd sense of calm. Soft breeze whoosh in from the windows and around me, it lingers for quite sometime before dissipating. This brings a tilt to the corners of my lips. 

Aduke was here, I just felt her presence right now. 

COMMENTARY: This piece is bringing all sort of emotions🥺. It is well, May we never loose a love one to the cold hands of death🙏.

You people cannot make forget. Go and vote oo, I am singing it like song now.

HANDSOMELAD42 kindly grace us with your beautiful piece

034 HANDSOMELAD42

I shove my hands deeper into my pockets as I taste the harmattan air on my tongue, dry and crispy, parching my throat and leaving me to wonder why such a season even exists. I push the thoughts to the back of my mind as I sight the twenty eight storey my apartment is situated in. 

There are more pressing issues to deal with at the moment, issues that have to do with life and death. A serial killer, who literally popped out of nowhere, is out to kill cops. 

He has a pattern, carving out letters on the body of each officer he kills. Corrupt officers are his target and from the seven bodies we've discovered, the message is clear: END SARS. 

I don't think it's possible but I move my hands even deeper into my pockets. If I hadn't been the chief investigating officer, I might have actually been in support of the killer. 

It's not just a few rotten fishes, it's a whole polluted pond. And the image has been built so much so that it's hard to believe that honest cops, like myself, exist. 

My phone starts ringing at that moment and I stop just three feet to my apartment building. I scrunch my face on seeing an unknown number but I still pick the call. 

"You must have gotten my message by now, haven't you?"

An almost muffled voice comes from the other end before I can even say a word. I furrow my brows trying to figure out who it is. 

"Who is this?"

"I thought you'd recognize me, having that you already know so much about me even before we met."

I remain silent, starting to wonder if this is a prank call. 

"Well this should jog your memory, END SARS. Does that sound familiar?"

Realization hits me like a truck. It's the serial killer. 

"Surprised? Well let me save our time. Lay off my case and no harm comes to you."

I scoff. "You resort to using cheap tricks now? I expected better."

He chuckles. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

"And don't expect me to fall for your bluff."

I'm about to hang up when he says his next words, pinning me to a spot. 

"Well, I think it would interest you to know that I'm in your apartment as we speak. You're dressed in a red coat standing three feet away from the building and I'm patiently waiting for your arrival. It's about time I spell the entire END SARS on a cop and you just might be the lucky one. 

"It's a shame I wouldn't want to lay waste to any honest cop like you. This is your last warning. Take it or leave it."

The line goes dead. I slowly lower my phone before glancing at my window. The lights are out and I consider the possibility that he's bluffing again. 

I brace myself and walk into the building. I decide to take the elevator for the first time in a while and soon, I'm standing in front of my door. With shaky hands, I try to unlock the door. 

The door creaks open before I can even insert my key into the keyhole and at this point, dread cripples me. Someone is definitely inside. 

Taking in a deep breath to calm my racing heart, I enter into the apartment. Luckily, I keep my revolver in the last drawer of a shelf situated in the lobby that follows the entrance. 

I'm quick to find it, aware of the shallow breathing coming from my living room. I cock the gun, tiptoeing into the dining area. 

The sitting room is adjacent to it and the gun leads the way as I walk into it. I can make out a silhouette on my couch. I hold the gun tighter, ready to defend myself. 

"Your game is up," I say, but I get no reaction. 

Inching towards the lights, I flip it on, all the while still pointing my gun in the direction of the couch. The light floods the room, blinding me for a second. 

When I finally adjust, I open my eyes to find a pile of pillows on the couch. I let out a sigh, leaning against the nearby wall. 

A sound comes from the kitchen, which is conjoined with the sitting room, causing me to fire in that direction. The bullet shatters a glass cup on one of the cabinets and the noise fills the air. 

I look around but there's no one in sight. I walk towards the kitchen in quick strides. The sound of clattering dishes causes me to swing towards the direction. 

All I see is thin air. I'm about to start thinking I'm mad when a voice comes from behind me, freezing my blood. 

"Welcome."

It takes a whole minute before I slowly rotate towards the direction the voice came from. My hands drop to my sides and I release a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

"Brother!" I start walking towards him, a large grin stretching on my face. 

He smiles back and pulls me into a hug. 

"I didn't know you were coming back today. When did you get here?" I ask, still unable to contain my excitement on seeing him. 

"Not so long ago."

I pull away from the hug, still smiling. 

"Why are you holding a gun though?"

I look at the gun as if just realizing it's in my hand. 

"Oh. I got a call from this serial killer and . . ." I trail off when a thought hits me. "When did you say you arrived again?"

"Not more than ten minutes ago."

"And you didn't see anyone?"

He shakes his head. I sigh, trying to put my gun in my back pocket but it slips out of my grip. 

I bend to retrieve it, my back to my brother, and I'm just rising when something catches my sight. I remain paralyzed as I stare at the body of an officer lying a few feet away from me, under my dining table. 

Several wounds are visible on his arm and it doesn't take me long to make out the words: END SARS. I'm still staring at the body when the sound of someone cocking a gun cuts through the silence. My brother's voice follows afterwards. 

"DON'T MOVE!"

COMMENTARY: OMG, I am going to meet Handsomelad42 to finish this story for me oo🏃, Because, this left me wanting more.

And, I'm sure I don't have to remind the Audience to go and vote ahbi?. Audience! You know the drill😗.

Let' give it up for our last contestants!! AANG

  035 AANG

Tammy’s POV

There was a little cackle and distorted adjustment as my gleaming face came up on the screen of the video call. My smile widened immediately when I saw the person at the other end of the call, with a lollipop dancing around her mouth and her usual bored expression plastered on - the typical signature look of Adejoke, my only sister.

“See how her forehead is shining, your hairdresser never fails to disappoint, huh?” Joke said as I sneered at her.

“Odd way of expressing your admiration, but thank you. I know I’m gorgeous,” I said with a smile, expecting her to crack up. When she didn’t, I immediately grabbed the mirror on my dressing table and looked into it, touching the newly made hair.

“How bad is it? I clearly told him to…” Joke’s loud laughter cut off my sentence as she pulled out her lollipop and raised her leg on top of the seat, adjusting her seating position.

“It’s fine, Jare,” she said, this time unable to hold in her smile and admiration. “I can’t believe that tomorrow, you’d be walking down the aisle. I can still vividly remember you scrubbing my back when we were little.”

“If not because you’re my junior sister, I’d have bashed your head now. You had me scared for a split second when you were talking about my hair. Moreover, you’re talking as if you’re not in a relationship. Femi would propose soon,” I said while she rolled her eyes, waving nonchalantly.

“Oh please, let’s not talk about that cankerworm. Have you confirmed everything? Your tailor, nko?” Her attempt to close the discussion was poor as the hurt was evident in her eye. But I didn’t want to bring it up and scrape her wound or rather spoil her surprise. 

Femi had traveled to Dubai without letting her know, and Joke didn’t let it slide. Knowing my sister and her toxic nature, I already knew she had accused him of going with another girl. Femi had talked to me about it, and though we both knew she didn’t mean it, I was bent on giving her some sisterly advice after the wedding because what my beautiful, stubborn sister - who never seemed to trust anyone except Femi - didn’t know was that Femi had traveled to get her engagement ring and was planning on proposing at my wedding reception. 

My mouth was itching me to ask her to apologize to Femi, but I didn’t want to ruin the cute moment coming up. The way she’d blush, act drama-like as if she didn’t want the ring, possibly hit Femi and still end up collecting the ring. I giggled, making her look at me with suspicion.

“What’s funny?” She sneered. I shook my head still smiling.

“Nothing. Talking about weddings, let’s start with you, Mrs. Chief bridesmaid. Why in the world is your hair not done, or even your nails? You look like someone that was picked up from the dustbin,” Joke waved it off as she picked a book and started scribbling something on it.

“Eeee, leave it like that for me. If I do my nails now, who’ll help you with your gown tomorrow? I don’t want anything to spoil your big day, and I can always put on a wig. That one you bought for my 26th birthday is still there; you want me to make hair and move around with a shining forehead like you?” She said as we both burst into laughter.

“Who did we even get that shit from!?” She asked amidst laughter, and on cue, my dad came in with his new ‘Mala’ haircut. We both looked at each other and burst into a fresh set of laughter.

“It’s definitely him,” I said, with Joke nodding in agreement. Dad joined the discussion, teasing us as the day gave way to a day filled with uncertainties and a day that never left my memory.

Joke’s POV

“Which one is you shouldn’t do makeup on your wedding day? Stop crying Tammy ehn? I’ll talk to mommy.” 

It was the wedding day and it had started on a promising note, with prayers from both mommy and daddy, a call from Femi who was asking if I was still annoyed, and Akin, Tammy’s husband surprising her with a car during the wee hours of the morning, just as the bachelor’s night was coming to an end.   

Perhaps I was just happy that Femi promised to be back this week. He didn’t give me a specific day, but I knew it was definitely this week. He never did back down on his promises. However, everything started to fall apart when Tammy’s tailor delivered a very tight wedding gown. We had found out she had rented out our gown to another customer the previous weekend, and the gown had returned spoilt and torn, with no means of amendment. Then my ever-prayerful, goody-two-shoes mom was about to follow her Christian rules to spoil Tammy’s day. It was the last straw that opened Tammy’s floodgates, and we both had to call Akin.

I was just about to call mom when my doorbell rang. I had just come back from Tammy’s dress-up to prepare for the church wedding and had called my hairstylist to come over to my house. However, opening the door and seeing Akin was a bit surprising considering the fact we had just both spoken a few minutes ago on a video call.

“Akin, what are you doing here?”

---------------------

I was pissed off as I marched towards the car Tammy was about to enter. She was on the phone again, with tear streaks on her face, while the other bride’s maid tried to console her.

“I told her to do her hair and other things yesterday! Is she really going to be late on my wedding day?” That was what I could hear as I came closer to her. I needed to tell her about Akin before I married her off to a bastard, I always knew something was off about him, but I really never mentioned it to anyone. I didn’t want to hurt Tammy or question her decision. I just wanted her happiness but what he did this morning…. My heart was bleeding and I was panting from running all the way here, but I couldn’t care less. My sister was so precious to me.

“Tammy, I need to tell you something,” I said the moment I came close. She turned to me and frowned, putting down her phone. That was when I remembered I was still looking disheveled with a scattered hair, tear streaked face, and the white maid of honor's gown I had thrown on that morning.

“Tammy, I’m sorry I’m late, but this…” Then she walked right through me, like I didn’t exist, like I was air.

“Have you gotten to her?” She asked someone behind me. I turned, shocked to see my dad shake his head while patting her back as she broke down in tears again.

“I hate Joke! I hate her!” I ran to her.

“I’m here, Tammy. What’s happening?” I asked, frantically as I tried to block her view but she kept crying. I turned to my father “Daddy! Daddy, listen to me, can you hear me?” however, no one looked up; no one heard my voice. It was as if I was a ghost, or maybe I really was, because I looked down and found myself vaporizing slowly, into thin air and all I could think of was Akin. The bastard did it.

-----------

They say in death, all things become clearer, and your life flashes across you. I never prayed to find out how such a thing would be, but here I was, staring at the blurry visions of people I couldn’t recognize, people I didn’t know. All I could think of was Tammy; I am supposed to be her maid of honor. I don’t want to disappoint her. Then there was mommy, daddy, and Femi. So many voices rang out in my head; their laughter, the joy I had witnessed in my 26 years. That was when it all started playing out, my life, like a movie. The dreams I had when I was young, untamed, and invincible. Then the movie was cut short. I raised my hand to grasp it; I wanted it back, the short moment of joy I was experiencing at the moment. But all I could grasp was the thin air as darkness started encroaching, swallowing the remnants of the world I once knew. I wish I told Femi how much I loved him; I wish I didn’t shout at mommy; I wish Tammy would not cry today.

  As I drift away, I can’t help but wonder what lies beyond this veil of darkness. Is it oblivion, a void where memories fade into nothingness? Or is it a new beginning, a chance to make sense of the fragments of life I leave behind? I’m not ready to say goodbye. Tears slip through my eyes as I realize this. I want Tammy, Femi, Mommy, and Daddy. I don’t want them heartbroken over my death; I don’t want to go there.

'Please…' I whimper out, to no one in particular, as more tears escape my eye. In this moment, I find myself wishing for more time, a few more heartbeats, another chance. But whatever entity I prayed to paid deaf ears as the world slipped through my fingers. I felt the coldness, the unfamiliarity of everything as those cold claws dragged me into darkness."

COMMENTARY: Okay, this was another beautiful piece🥺. Audience, don't forget to vote ooo.

And its time to hear from our Judges

JUDGES REVIEW

JUDGE JK ROWLINGS

ThatGirl, I’m seeing something with the pattern of your work that I don’t like o. You’re adapting to a mediocre spot. Are you too relaxed in Project Pen? Come on na. I know you have a lot more to show than this. 

And Aang, again with this lack of direction in your work. I saw where your plot is heading, but you did a bad job at execution. What did I tell you about execution last time? I took my time to elaborate what to do, but I am still seeing disorganization and weak execution. Look, maybe a change cant come overnight, but you need to work on this. If you cant learn to set yourself straight in short notice, we may need to let you off this contest for you to take your time on your own to do that. 

And then, 020 MoonlightArtist and 034 Handsomelad42. The power duo.👏🔥 Who do I start with? Moonlight Artist, your work was amazing. I felt so angry and triggered and I like how you knew EXACTLY where you were headed. I keep telling contestants: know your plot’s point, the effect you want to have on your readers, and have a series of events that lead up to it, and you did exactly that! Your were going for the goal of evoking anger in me and you did it, even right to the last line!👏 I felt shock too there, but I was so damn pissed goddamit. I need other contestants need to learn this from you. 

And Handsomelad42? Put your hand on your chest and say ‘Oyel no dey finish for my head!’ because wtf!!!🔥

You and Aurelius were the best in this stage for me! I love how you took a dark trope with a plot twist for this stage, evoking tension and fear AND shock at the end! Brilliant!👏 I am starting to like you too much. Especially for the fact that you did not start off like this and you improved! Your improvement needs to be the best in Project Pen this stage, and I am rooting for you to get into the League of Pen Masters (Top 10🏆). Keep improving and keep shining, Handsomelad42!❤️🔥

JUDGE WILLIAMS SHAKESPARE

Moonlight, wow.  I forsooth didst not expecteth yond ending.  T's quite depress'd f'r dami though.  Handsome lad.  The lad yond is handsome.  Thee p'rf'rm'd handsomely.  What a handsome entry thee gaveth us.  Sup'rbly handsome.  Thatgirl, th're wasn't very much much.  Aang's st'ry wast the only one i hadst to readeth ov'r and ov'r again because th're wast a whole lot of confusion.  I finally did get t, but the transition wasn't smooth one did bite

Moonlight, wow. I definitely did not expect that ending. It's quite sad for Dami though. Handsome Lad. The Lad that is Handsome. You performed handsomely. What a handsome entry you gave us. Superbly handsome. Thatgirl, there wasn't really much. Aang's story was the only one I had to read over and over again because there was a whole lot of confusion. I finally got it, but the transition wasn't smooth one bit.

JUDGE MAYA ANGELOU

I was very unimpressed by this set. The only person that tried was HandsomeLad42, and that’s because they did something different by evoking the emotion of FEAR. It wasn’t perfect but it was fine and it was by far an improvement from their past works. The rest of you did rather poorly. That Girl, what in the hell is your story? It was too messy! You tried to use present tense at the beginning of the work, but you weren’t pulling it off at all. I think you also noticed that it wasn’t comfortable for you, but instead of you to correct the entire work, you left what you have already in Present tense as it was and switched the rest to Past tense, and very evidently so at that. What have I told you people about switching tenses! Let me not even get started on how confusing your story was. Moonlight, I’m rather disappointed. This was a complete let down compared to your other entries. Aang, it’s well with your soul o, because… 😪. Your story was bland. Joke died and I didn’t feel nada. The way you showed that she was dead was even somehow. The only emotion your story was capable of evoking in me was ANNOYANCE.

JUDGE JAMES HARDLEY CHASE

This group unlike others, more than half of them knew what they were doing. Moonlight tried, Thatgirl, it's your lack of creativity in this work for me. Handsomelad42 and Aang, I reserve my comments.

One last thing, from group one down to this group, none of you actually did something that wowed me.

JUDGE ARUNDHATI ROY

Mildly impressed. I think Aang’s story was creative but again, execution was poorly done. I love HandsomeLad’s story, the mystery was giving but the ending sort of disappointed me. Where’s the resolution? A good mystery without a resolution will ultimately get ruined. That girl, your writing at some point pulled at my heartstrings but that’s it. Moonlight Artist, I just mildly impressed.

*And this is for all contestants, well, most of you, there are other emotions you can provoke apart from sadness. In fact, provoking sadness is cliche and repetitive and boring and it made this stage my least favorite so far. I honestly expected from y’all.*

JUDGE JANE COREY

Ok I give up. Y'all want to finish my tear gland 😭😭😭. Let's start with Handsomelad, guy you nearly made my heart leave it's position 😭, I thought the serial killer would come out and kill the brother, but I guess you use the "Don't let anyone know your next move" on me. I loved it. Moonlight, your own was nice, annoying, and sad. Shebi those people know that blood is in their hands? And loosing someone so dear to you is so painful 😭😭 I've said it before and will say it again. May we never loose our love ones. Amen 😭😭

JUDGE ACTON BELL

Nna, I don tire for all this sadness. I have nothing more to say to y'all. So, yeah. Let's call it a day.

JUDGE KAREN KINGSBURY

Alright, this group. Let's get into it, shall we? Moonlight first. Alright, so moonlight you started off pretty well, like, I knew it was bullying she was going through but I expected it to be girls. I didn't expect it to be her family members. And then from there it just sort of went downhill. I didn't really feel anything when her neck got snapped. I should have been moved, felt pity, but nope. I did get annoyed because I remember one time my cousin stole chocolate from her fathers room and then I got blamed. She was legit laughing while we were being questioned and I was crying —I hated false accusations— but upon everything they still thought it was me. My uncle was even doing like Nigeria police, putting words in my mouth. Kai, why did I remember? 😩😹🤧 Anyway, that's the only part I feel bad for her but you see any other thing? No. Unfortunately, that feeling you evoked isn't/wasn't enough. You might have luck with other Judges though. So, That Girl, your work and I didn't tango. Sowie. Handsome Lad. Ahan! Ahan! The theme you chose is one of the ones I like. I LOVE investigation/murder mystery/thrillers and you tried, you went down that lane. Twirl for me. Unfortunately, I didn't like the ending of your work. Where did the other police come from? That story no clear. You've improved though. A lot. And for that I'm proud of you. You came this far and that's lovely. Buy yourself Fanta abeg. 

Lastly, Aang! Your story evoked emotion in me because I felt her frustration when nobody could hear her. I hate things like that with passion eh? It's aggravating. However, your story has so many holes, it might sink everything you had built and even your chances of moving forward. I'm so curious as to know how she died. What caused everything? How Is her sister's husband a bastard? You knew you had limited word count, you should have reduced the amount of things you introduced into the story. Because now it's like half fried egg, half baked bread, half cooked rice. It's just not it. You did evoke (sounds like witchy something), so let's see how the thing goes.

JUDGE DANIELLA ROLI

At this point, I'm becoming skeptical about sad stories because not only are they cliche but they're over exaggerated. And I was not disappointed. That girl was more like a paragraph of memories. There was nothing substantial that held much weight for me emotionally. Moonlight Artiste was more gruesome than sad and I'm not sure that's what they were going for. Aang's story was a bit confusing, it didn't grip me from beginning to end. Handsome Lad easily has the best piece out of all the submissions I've seen. It was so perfect, I didn't want to stop reading.

COMMENTARY: We have come to the end of the Judges review for this stage!

Drumrolls🥁

And this stage was really wonderfull🤭🎉.  And, Audience I will scream it again

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Vote for your favourite contestants so they won't leave the house.

If you don't have a favourite contestant. Vote for me😗. But atleast vote

So, Anticipate for the judges verdicts and eviction night😌

Before then

CIAO❤️❤️