Lights, Camera, Drama!

CHAPTER THREE

I DID NOT KNOW HOW, BUT I FOUND MYSELF IN A PITCH-BLACK ROOM. WAIT, WERE MY EYES closed? Or was there nothing to see here but darkness? Sinubukan kong igalaw ang katawan ko, kaso hindi ako makabangon mula sa pagkakahiga. I could not even feel my hands or my feet!

Is anyone here? Please help me!

Somewhere in the dark, four pairs of red eyes appeared and moved closer to me. I wanted to shout, but something was stuck in my throat.

"Lorelei? Na-miss mo ba kami?"

"Sa tingin mo ba'y makatatakas ka sa amin?"

"Kahit saan ka magpunta, susunod kami sa 'yo."

Please stop!

Napabalikwas ako mula sa pagkakahiga sa aking kama. My hand clutched on my chest as I took deep breaths. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. I was panting and sweating bullets. Daig ko pa ang tumakbo ng ilang kilometro dahil nabasa na ng pawis ang damit ko, maging ang bedsheet.

I wiped the beads of sweat on my forehead. Ito na nga ba ang sinasabi ko. Because of what happened yesterday, muling na-trigger ang alaalang gusto ko nang kalimutan. This was all thanks to the great yet insensitive Loki. He almost freed the monsters locked away in my mind.

Iminulat ko na ang aking mga mata at iginala ang aking tingin. There's nothing to worry about. I was in my bedroom where I should be safe from those monsters. Walang pares ng mga matang kulay pula. Walang mga nakakatakot na boses.

My hand searched for my phone on the bed and checked the time. It's five-thirty. Oras na para maghanda sa pagpasok ko sa school kaya bumangon na ako at lumabas ng aking kuwarto.

The sun had not risen yet, but my day was ruined. How? The first person that I saw this morning was none other than Loki. He was seated on the couch, his fingers flying over his gray laptop.

It's not unusual to see him here in the early hours of the morning. Minsan, maaga siyang nagigising. Minsan, paalis na ako, hindi pa siya lumalabas ng kuwarto. He must have an irregular sleeping routine.

Our eyes met briefly. I averted my gaze and went straight to the kitchen. I could not stand looking at him for another second.

Habang nagtitimpla ako ng hot choco, may narinig akong paggalaw mula sa couch. Naaninag ko rin ang aninong lumapit sa kinatatayuan ko. I looked over my shoulder to check what he was doing. He stood before me, maintaining a one-meter distance. Napahinto ako sa pag-scoop ng sugar. Laking pagtataka ko kung ano ang nakain ng lalaking 'to at parang gusto niyang makipag-usap. After what he did yesterday, it's best to ignore him.

I poured some water into the mug and stirred the hot choco using a spoon. Hindi pa rin siya umaalis sa kinatatayuan niya. What's with him and his strange gaze? I grabbed my mug and walked past him going to the couch.

"I'd like to say sorry. What I did on the rooftop was wrong."

I came to a halt before slowly turning to face Loki. My eyes squinted at him. Nananaginip pa ba ako o talagang sinabi ng lalaking 'to ang salitang "sorry"? I did not know that he was capable of uttering that word. Parang wala sa vocabulary niya. If it were, he would have already apologized to me yesterday.

"You think a sorry can make up for what you did?" I placed my mug on the center table. Baka mabuhusan ko pa siya ng hot choco. "Sa tingin mo ba'y mabubura ng sorry mo ang trauma na ipinaalala mo sa 'kin?"

Our eyes locked for a moment; his were cold while mine were fierce. Did he expect me to forgive him so easily and welcome him with open arms?

"There's nothing I can do if you choose to not accept my apology." He shrugged, cutting his gaze away from me. "I felt compelled to say the magic word."

"Compelled? Napipilitan ka lang na mag-sorry sa 'kin?"

"That's what people do, right? If they've wronged someone, they're required to say sorry."

My eyes blinked in disbelief. Ano'ng klaseng mindset 'yon? Kung makapagsalita siya, parang hindi siya mortal na katulad ko. Pinaninindigan ba niyang hindi niya ka-level ang mga tao gaya ng kapangalan niyang Norse trickster god?

"If you don't mean it, better not to say sorry at all." I could not believe I was telling this simple fact to a guy around my age. Matalino siya, 'di ba? Dapat matagal na niyang alam 'yon.

"I thought people need to apologize so their chances at making mistakes will be reset?" He narrowed his eyes into slits as he caressed his chin. "Like 'thank you.' You express gratitude to someone so you can ask them for more favors in the future."

I looked at him with my furrowed eyebrows. Who on earth thinks that way? Saang dictionary niya kaya hinugot ang kanyang konsepto ng sorry at thank you? Ilang taon ba siyang nakatira sa kuweba para hindi siya maging aware tungkol sa mga 'yon?

"Your face tells me you're wondering where I got those notions," he said. "I observed them from my classmates. Whenever they make a mistake, they only say sorry, then they can commit another one again. And the cycle repeats endlessly."

"How about sa mga kaibigan mo?"

He raised an index finger. "Before I answer that question, do we have the same definition of the word friend? We might be reading different dictionaries."

Even if I was upset at him, he managed to make me chuckle. "You don't have friends, do you?"

"Who needs friends anyway?" he scoffed. He took his seat on the couch and opened his laptop again. "They're nothing but excess baggage."

"That's a line someone without friends will say." At least, I learned a piece of information about him: Loki Mendez did not have any friends. That should have been apparent to me. Nabanggit ni Tita Martha na ni minsa'y walang bumisita na friend niya rito sa apartment. Mag-isa rin siya sa clubroom kahapon. Well, who could stand his obnoxious attitude? I would rather befriend a cat than him.

Then something came to mind. Tumingin ako sa kanya habang abala siyang nagta-type sa laptop. "Tatanggapin ko ang sorry mo, but you will owe me a favor."

His fingers froze midway as his eyes flicked up to me. "And why will I owe you a favor? Just to remind you, I put an end to your secret admirer dilemma. If you think about it, you're the one who should owe me a favor. Speaking of which. . ."

He showed me the screen of his laptop. I leaned forward to get a closer look. Then my eyes widened. He was viewing my last night's blog post on his browser! Paano niya nahanap ang blog ko?

"It's easy to search stuff on the Internet as long as you know the right keywords," he explained. I did not say anything out loud, but he answered the question on my mind. "I've been reading your blog since the day you created it. This is how I found out that a secret admirer was troubling you the past few days."

"You're stalking me online?" I stammered.

"I ran an online background check on you." He turned his laptop back to him. Doon na muling natuon ang tingin niya. "I wanted to know if my roommate has a suspicious background or is a serial killer. No offense meant. Just a standard procedure. I also did it on my previous roommates."

Wow! Talagang sa kanya pa nanggaling 'yon? Siya nga dapat ang paghinalaan na may suspicious background dahil sa twisted niyang paningin sa buhay at sa mga bagay-bagay.

"Back to the favor that you owe me, I want you to revise this blog post. Your prose is good, your descriptions are vivid, and you can keep your readers at the edge of their seats. But you made me look like the villain here. 'Loki's much worse'? Was I the one who annoyed you with gifts? If you make the necessary revisions, I'd consider us even."

"No."

"No . . . ?"

"No, I won't change anything." My voice was firm. "You don't have control over my writing. It's my blog, not yours. I can write whatever I want. Kung gusto mo, gumawa ka ng sariling blog mo at i-share mo ro'n ang version mo ng story."

I grabbed my mug and walked back to the kitchen. Hindi na tuloy mainit ang hot choco ko.

No matter what he told me, I would never ever grant his favor.

WHEN I ARRIVED AT OUR CLASSROOM, I HEARD FROM MY CLASSMATES THAT AARON WAS GOING to be expelled. Rosetta and the others did not know why. But I did. Loki probably submitted the video he had recorded to the school authorities. Aaron might be soon gone from this school, but what he had made me feel still lingered.

During our morning break, I paid a visit to the Guidance and Counseling Center on the second floor of the high school building. Since that incident in Manila, I have been undergoing counseling sessions every week. It only stopped when I had begun to feel better, when I had become confident that I could fight the monsters in my head.

But thanks to Aaron plus Loki and his insensitivity, the sealed door to the cage in my mind was almost broken and the monsters began to peek from the gap. I needed to find a way to fight them again or else they would overwhelm me.

"So you're still being haunted by these nightmares? By what happened in your past?" Dr. Theresa Pierre, the guidance counselor, asked me. She pushed her rimless eyeglasses up the bridge of her nose. Her blonde hair was tied up in a bun. There's something in the way her brown eyes looked at me and the way her calm voice sounded. It's soothing.

I nodded. "I tried to lock those memories away. But someone recently triggered them."

Hindi ko na tuloy alam kung sino ang mas nagpalala nito: si Aaron ba or si Loki? Regardless, they were both responsible for my dilemma.

"These haunting thoughts are monsters. The more you feed them, the more you consciously or unconsciously nurture them, the more they grow." She kept eye contact with me, and I did not avert my gaze. "Once they grow large enough, it won't be easy for you to fight them off."

My eyes looked down at my fidgeting hands. "Then how can I not feed them?"

"You started a blog, correct?" she asked. "Writing can be therapeutic. It can ease your feelings of emotional and psychological trauma. It can keep your monsters at bay."

I only started writing a blog because I was bored and because I wanted to keep a record of my new experiences here. But would that be enough to keep me going?

"Find a topic that will interest you, a topic that will always keep your mind preoccupied. Once you do, you can starve these monsters. Soon enough, you may no longer feel haunted anymore."

A topic that interests me, huh?

My half-hour session with Dr. Pierre was up. Hindi ko namalayan ang bilis ng takbo ng oras. I thanked her for her advice, and she told me to visit her anytime.

Pagkalabas ko ng Guidance and Counseling Center, agad kong napansin ang mga estudyanteng nakatingin sa direksiyon ng rooftop. I followed their gaze. Sandaling sumagi sa isip ko ang nangyari kahapon. But I shrugged the thoughts off.

Over there, I noticed a female student standing on the ledge. My eyes narrowed at her. Wait, her face was familiar. That's one of my classmates! What was she doing up there?

"Miss, huwag kang tatalon!" sigaw ng mga estudyanteng nasa campus field. Meron ding sumisigaw n'on sa rooftop.

Halos tumakbo na ako patungo sa hagdanan paakyat sa rooftop. Saktong nagkasalubong kami ni Rosetta na mukhang isa rin sa mga gustong makiusyoso.

"Rosie!" I called, making her turn to me. "Classmate ba natin 'yong babaeng nasa rooftop? Ano'ng ginagawa niya ro'n?"

"Ikaw pala, Lori!" Hindi mabura-bura ang pagkabahala sa mukha niya. "Balak yatang tumalon ni Lisa. Kanina pa siya kinakausap ng mga instructor natin na huwag tatalon."

"Bakit daw?" tanong ko. Kung may mabigat siyang pinagdaraanan, baka makatulong sa kanya ang one-on-one session sa guidance counselor. It made me feel better.

"Nabalitaan kasi niya na ie-expel si Aaron dahil sa isang serious offense. Ngayon, gusto ni Lisa na bawiin ang expulsion dahil kung hindi, tatalon daw siya. Super close kasi nila kaya hindi niya matanggap ang desisyon. Balita ko, may feelings si Lisa para kay Aaron, kaya . . ."

I gulped the second she mentioned Aaron's name. Sandali kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko at nilabanan ang flashback ng ginawa niya sa akin.

My problem with my secret admirer was over, but it created another one. Even though it was Aaron's fault why he was being expelled, I somewhat played a part in it. It's a domino effect. One event led to another.

I could not let something bad happen to her. May boses na bumulong sa tainga ko na kailangan kong pigilan si Lisa. I ran as fast as I could, leaving Rosetta behind me. Pasensiya na, pero hindi ko kayang tumunganga. I climbed the flight of stairs going to the third floor. Itutuloy ko na sana hanggang sa susunod na palapag, pero nahinto ako nang makita ang isang lalaking nakatayo sa harap ng vending machine. Our eyes met briefly. Sa dinami-rami ng puwede kong makasalubong dito, bakit siya pa?

"Are you about to watch the shoot?" Loki asked after picking up a canned coffee from the dispenser. "What movie are they filming? Action, drama, or comedy?"

Teka, kung iisipin, parang kasabwat ko na rin si Loki sa pagpapa-expel kay Aaron. He used me as bait to lure my now-expelled admirer on the rooftop and recorded our encounter on video. He's the only one who could have submitted a proof that Aaron had committed a serious offense.

He's smart, right? Maybe I could put his intelligence into good use. Kakalimutan ko muna ang atraso niya sa akin. Ang importante'y mailigtas namin ang classmate ko.

"Loki! Remember that favor you owe me?" I walked toward him. "I'm cashing it in now to save a life—"

"Wait a minute." He held up his right hand. "I told you early this morning that I owe you nothing. So what are you talking about?"

"Dahil pina-expel mo si Aaron, balak tumalon mula sa rooftop ng close friend niya kung hindi babawiin ng school ang expulsion," paliwanag ko. I grabbed his left arm and tried to pull him. "We need to stop her!"

"Is it my fault now? There's nothing wrong with eliminating a scum like him from this school." He tried to remove my hands from his arm, but I did not let go. "If you stepped on a cockroach, would you feel guilty about it? No, because cockroaches deserve to be killed."

"Sabihin na nating makatarungan ang ginawa mo. But because of what you did, an innocent life is at stake here. We should help her—I mean, we should stop her from committing whatever she's thinking right now."

"Not my cup of tea," he replied, still struggling. His coffee almost spilled on his blazer. "Besides, what will I gain from helping you? And can you get your hands off me? I can't drink my coffee."

"Hindi kakayanin ng konsensiya ko kapag may nangyari sa kanya." Binitawan ko na ang braso niya. Mukhang hindi uubra ang pamimilit ko. Maybe I should take a different approach. "If you help me, I'd be in your debt."

He slid his right hand inside his pocket and leaned closer to me. "Pardon?"

"Ang sabi ko, kung tutulungan mo ako, I'd be in your debt."

That's what he wanted to hear, so that's what I told him. Nagkakamali siya kung iniisip niyang seryoso ako sa sinabi ko. Nagbakasakali ako na kakagat siya kapag ginawa kong pain ang pagkakaroon ng utang na loob sa kanya.

"Hmm . . ." He tilted his head up as he drank from his canned coffee. I waited for him to finish. "So you will really owe me a favor? Despite everything?"

Marahan akong tumango. "Mas importante para sa 'kin na ma-save ang classmate ko kaysa sa inis ko sa 'yo. Gagawin ko na ang pinapagawa mo kanina. Ire-revise ko ang blog post na ayaw mo. If that's what it takes to make you help me."

"That's a tempting deal," he muttered. "If you're willing to be indebted to me, I guess I have to take it. But I won't ask you to make that revision anymore. I have a better idea."

Whatever, Loki. Hindi na importante kung ano ang pabor na 'yan. Hindi ko rin naman pagbibigyan kapag tapos na ang sitwasyong 'to. "I'd do anything as long as it's not against my principles and morals."

"Fine, I'll help you. But there's no guarantee that I can stop that student from jumping. I'm not a hero who can save her from a tragic ending."

"No one's saying that you're a hero."

I was not sure why I felt like he could resolve the situation. If he managed to lure out my secret admirer through a cunning method, I had high hopes that he could find a way to convince my classmate to not jump.

"Before I grant your request, I need a moment of privacy to think of a way to stop her. You can go ahead. Just make sure that she'll still be there by the time that I arrive."

"Got it."

I climbed the stairs and went on my way to the rooftop. Nang makarating ako roon, parang may shooting ng pelikula rito gaya ng sinabi ni Loki kanina. May mga estudyanteng nakapalibot, may mga teacher na nanonood, at may mga guwardiyang nakaabang. All eyes were focused on the girl standing on the ledge.

"Bumaba ka na riyan, Miss!" paulit-ulit na sigaw ng mga tao sa paligid niya. "Huwag mong sayangin ang buhay mo!"

"P-para saan pa?!" sagot ni Lisa. Nadungisan na ng mga luha ang pabilog niyang mukha. Her tears would not stop from falling. "Ilang ulit ko bang dapat sabihin sa inyo? Gusto kong pabalikin n'yo rito si Aaron! I-revoke n'yo ang expulsion sa kanya!"

Humakbang paabante ang lalaking teacher na nakasalamin at inaabot ang kanyang kanang kamay. That's our math instructor! "Medyo mahirap 'yang hinihingi mo kasi isang serious offense ang ginawa niya. Pero mapag-uusapan natin 'yan. Kaya, Lisa, bumaba ka na riyan at lumapit ka na rito sa amin."

"Huwag kayong lalapit!" Parang dagundong ng leon ang boses niya. Humakbang siya patalikod; ilang inches na lang bago siya tuluyang mahulog mula sa limang palapag na building. "Mapag-uusapan pa natin, Sir? Ang akala n'yo ba, maloloko n'yo ako? Gusto n'yo lang akong paalisin dito kaya sinasabi n'yo 'yan!"

My eyes roamed the area, searching for Loki who should be here by now. Gaano ba katagal bago siya makaisip ng solusyon sa problemang 'to? If he would not arrive here anytime soon, it might be too late.

"Isa pang may humakbang sa inyo, talagang tatalon na ako rito!" banta ng babae. Umurong ng isang hakbang ang mga tao sa paligid niya. Kahit malayo ako sa kanya, napaatras din ako. "Kung ayaw n'yo akong tumalon, pabalikin n'yo si Aaron!"

"Go ahead, jump!"

All heads turned to the door of the rooftop where a male student walked out. His dull eyes looked straight ahead at my classmate. He had his hands in his pockets as he approached the crowd.

Finally, he's here. Dramatic entrance pala ang gusto niya?

"What took you so long?" I whispered when he stood beside me.

"I finished my canned coffee first," he answered, glancing sideways at me. "I have to keep myself awake so I can function the whole day."

"Aware ka ba kung gaano ka-sensitive ang sitwasyon? Pasalamat ka't hindi pa siya tumalon noong wala ka."

He let out a long sigh as his head panned from left to right. "Have I told you how much I hate drama? Let's be done with this so you'll owe me a favor."

Nagpatuloy siya sa paglapit sa babaeng pansamantalang natikom ang bibig. I wondered what trick he was going to use. Wala siyang dala na kahit anong props.

"Huwag kang lalapit, kundi tatalon ako!" muling banta ni Lisa.

"Did you not hear me just a minute ago? I said you can jump anytime you want."

Everyone around us gasped, wondering what in the world he had just said. I facepalmed. Instead na i-convince niyang bumaba mula sa ledge ang babae, mas pino-provoke pa niya. What on earth was he thinking?

"Let's cut this nonsense drama right here, right now. I still have some clients to entertain in the clubroom."

Batuhin ko kaya ng sapatos ang lalaking 'to? What on earth was he talking about? He was supposed to save the soul of the poor girl! That's what I asked him. Gusto niya ba talagang tumalon si Lisa?

"H-hindi mo ako pipigilan?" Pati ang nagtatangkang tumalon, naguluhan sa sinabi niya.

Loki shook his head slowly. "Why will I stop you? You can do what you want. Unlike these buffoons here, I don't have the intention to play the hero to save you. But I find it funny. You're willing to jump off this building just because the school expelled a guy? How lame."

"L-lame?"

"You're selfish too," he added. "You don't care what your family, your friends, and your classmates would feel once you're gone. You want them to grieve over your death, you want them to feel the pain of loss while you're chilling in the afterlife. If that's not selfish, I don't know what to call it."

"I am not selfish!" Napahakbang papalapit kay Loki ang babae, labas ang mga mapuputi nitong ngipin na parang asong mangangagat. "You don't have the right to judge me! You don't know me!"

Loki's hand made a dismissive gesture. "I'm not interested in who you are. Just jump when you feel like it. Don't drag the drama. To be honest, I'm more worried about the mess that the housekeepers will have to clean up once your brain splatters on the pavement."

Tumitibok-tibok na ang ugat sa ulo ni Lisa. Kahit sino naman siguro'y manggagalaiti sa mga pinagsasabi ni Loki.

"I thought you were about to jump? What's with the delay? Go ahead, jump!" he teased. "Don't expect the school to reverse the expulsion. A lowlife like him deserves it. Oh, by the way, I'm the one who filed the complaint against him. Good riddance."

"You bastard—"

Parang tigreng tumalon sa direksiyon ni Loki ang babae, nakalabas ang mga kuko para kalmutin at galusan ang kanyang balat. He dashed backward before her claws could even reach him. The guards who had been on standby restrained my classmate's arms and pulled her away from the ledge.

"Let me go! Let me go!"

Her screams were all for naught as the guards did not listen to her. She was escorted down the stairs.

Then the drama was over. The teachers asked us to return to our respective classrooms. The crowd dispersed. This was just a short intermission in our daily routine at school. Back to business na ulit.

"That was close." Loki touched his cheek. I thought he's referring to the crisis that he had averted. Pasalamat siya dahil hindi siya naabutan ng mga kuko ng classmate ko.

"In-expect mo na bang hindi siya tatalon kahit ilang beses mo na siyang sinabihan na tumalon?" tanong ko.

"I tried to use reverse psychology against her," he explained. "By repeatedly telling her to jump, I made her wonder why I wasn't stopping her. Making her confused about whether to jump or not was my first move. Then I provoked her so she'd get mad at me and try to attack me, thereby getting her off the ledge."

Should I be amazed by the trick that he used to stop it? Well, what he did was obviously risky. If his calculations were wrong, there would have been a dead body on the ground. Hindi ko masabi kung sinuwerte ba siya o talagang alam niya ang kanyang ginagawa.

Nevertheless, it's consistent with his methods. He did not care about the process. All he cared about was the result.

Mukhang inaabangan niya ako kaya nandito pa siya. Wala akong choice kundi sabayan siyang umalis ng rooftop at bumaba ng hagdanan. Namagitan ang katahimikan sa aming dalawa.

"I've kept the end of the bargain, so it's time for you to do the same." He spoke, breaking the silence. "You now owe me a favor."

"What favor?" I acted clueless. "Wala akong matandaang may pinagkasunduan tayong gano'n. You agreed to help me without anything in return."

I tried to suppress my smile. It's payback time, Loki, for what you did. He tricked me yesterday. Now, it's my turn. He's not the only one who knows some tricks.

He came to a halt before showing his phone to me. "I kinda expected that you'll try to pull a fast one on me so . . ." Then he pressed a key.

"Kung tutulungan mo ako, I'd be in your debt . . . I'd do anything as long as it's not against my principles and morals."

Oh, shoot! Ini-record niya ang mga sinabi ko kanina! So that's why he slid his hand in his pocket and asked me to repeat it. Nanigurado talaga siyang may ebidensiyang nagkaroon kami ng deal. 'Kainis! I thought I got him!

"Did you fall down the stairs and smack your head? Or are you having an episode of selective amnesia?" He looked at me as he pocketed his phone. "It's time to pay your debt."

Mukhang wala na akong magagawa kundi bayaran ang utang na loob ko sa kanya. It would not sit well with me if I denied him a favor despite the evidence of our deal. Kung sana wala siyang ini-record, wala siyang panghahawakan laban sa akin at hindi ako makokonsensiya.

"Fine! So what favor will you ask of me? Gusto mo ba akong kumanta o sumayaw sa harap ng maraming tao? O baka gusto mo akong gawing utusan sa loob ng isang araw?"

"No, nothing of that sort."

"Then what?"

Loki looked me right in the eye and made a dramatic pause. "I want you to join my club."