I am about to make the best text post ever. Might write on tumblr but I'm too lazy

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START OF THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION IN A NUTSHELL

England: ARE YOU READY FOR ME TO CONQUER THE WHOLE WORLD!?

America: Oh, I'll be waiting

America: *whispers* dad

England: *turns around* soRRY? What was that last thing you said?

America: what

England: That last one, I didn't catch it.

America: Well, I-I didn't say anything. What do you mean, I didn't—well, I-I said, "I'll be waiting," and then I stopped talking.

America: *rips mask off* dad

England: *squints eyes and leans forwards* Alfred Kirkland?

America: That's right. Your son, and it's Alfred Jones.

England: *shakes head* No. Alfred K-I-R-K-L-A-N-D. I named you.

America: YOU RUINED MY LIFE

England: *blows raspberries* That's not true. I've haven't even been a part of your life. How could I ruin it? Wasn't even there.
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/CAUSE BABY NOW WE GOT BAD BLOOD