i don't feel mad or sorry

i took down most of my apologies bc i don't feel like apologizing

i don't need any more closure

i don't need to say anything to anyone about anything

the only thing I'm stressing out about right now is a boy!

this is awesome! no one is cheating on me! no one's died in, like, three months! none of my best friends are currently angry at me! i do not love anyone! i do not give a shit about my personality flaws! deal with it! i feel awesome!!!

maybe this is the start of something wonderful?

idk if y'all can relate but ever have all this tension just released

like after finishing a super long essay

or having the person you like like you back

or doing planks and then collapsing bc fuck planks

I didn't talk to anyone today, and you know what? It was nice. I didn't have any obligation. I wasn't sad. I just was quiet, and I read, and I was okay. And I kept on being okay. I was sitting in French, staring at the back of my best friend's head, and thinking: I'm okay. And I laughed because I was happy. Not because I was mad and upset and didn't want to let anything on.

Not because I had to smile because I had to.

But because I wanted to. Because I don't owe anyone anything. Because I don't need to feel obligated.

And I didn't even realize that... but if you put your headphones in, and you listen to yourself instead of other people, you start realizing a lot.

Also: today a kid on my bus was talking about this kid named Marissa and he said, "Did you know she let him put his entire fist in her butthole?" and I wanted to laugh but I looked around and APPARENTLY NO ONE FUCKING HEARD HIM