I'm not kidding when i say s p o i l e r s ok

I wanna discuss

-the great gay long game

-John's anger and whether or not it made sense

-his cheating

-sherlock's culpability in john's anger over mary's death

-Mary's death, and whether she's alive or dead

-loose ends that made no sense!!

-just little overall thoughts

Okay first thing's first

Do I still think johnlock is going to go canon? Yeah.

As dark as the episode is, and as dark as it ends, I still think johnlock is going to go canon. Why? 

-because it ends with sherlock trying to reach him. It ends with mary telling sherlock to save him, (and obviously he's gonna because it's always the fucking 2 of them lol don't you read the strand 👀)

-big difference between this and reichenbach. In the empty hearse sherlock tricks john into thinking he's ABOUT to die to make john to forgive him? I love sherlock, i know he's trying, but - that's not healthy. You know what is healthy? Talking. Obviously he's devastated that this happened, that john is devastated. It's devastating. It's shit. But he knows that and he's DEVELOPED AS A HUMAN BEING and he's going to fix it in a way that is a real fix. (Because honestly, I'm not even sure if John has truly forgiven him for reichenbach.) He's gonna fix it by talking. THEY WILL TALK!!!!!!! Fuck

Now, john's anger? Was it justified?

Hell no lmao but i understand it. He's my favorite character because he's the character i feel closest to on tv, in media. Looking at him, watching him make decisions, makes me realizes how flawed, but good he is. And how flawed, but good i am. totally unrelated tangent abt how much I fucking love john, sorry

Anyway,,, i understand because he was full to the BRIM with guilt, with anguish. Fucking rage. 

I mean:

-he told mary to go to the london aquarium by herself.

- he was on his way to divorcing mary. That much was clear. There's a lot of things that I'm not clear on in this ep. but john's lack of commitment was one of them. He was cheating (more on that later), he said "i used to like mary" straight to mary's fuckin face. And then mary tells john that he's perfect, that she doesn't deserve him. She dies telling him that. And yeah, obviously he was not perfect, and he feels SO guilty that she died thinking he was when he so openly criticized her for lying. He was not ONLY guilty over cheating, but over his hypocrisy.

-he obviously never really forgave her. he tried to, maybe. but his feelings for her became a lie once she found out that she was a lie. She died thanking him for a lie. that is fucking SHIT. 

So yeah. Her death was only more fucking terrible and taxing on him because of the immense, immense guilt he felt. Over their entire manufactured life. For fuck's sake, Sherlock treated her more kindly than John EVER did. And john could not shoulder that, so he projected. logically, he's got 0 reason to be angry at sherlock. But as a human being? Of course. Of course he would externalize that.

Relevant side note that I should try not to be pissed about but am,,,

John's "mooing" is not funny. yikes. 

This makes me so mad haha but imma act chill

Likening someone's cries of guttural anguish over their loved one dying in a fucking traumatizing way to a cow mooing???? Literally not funny. i can see how some people would not understand this but I'm putting it out there. when people die in that way, there's no flowery weeping over their dead bodies, composing themselves quietly and then laying a mournful kiss on their forehead. There's no fuckin "noooooooo!" *sniff* "please wake up!1!1!"

when people die, people you love, a piece of your soul dies. That's what that noise is. It is a piece of john's soul being ripped from his body lol idk how else to explain this so imma leave it

ITS just NOT FUNNY 

on the other hand john usually doesn't cry like that but I am of the personal and unpopular opinion that he was crying in that manner because he felt immensely guilty and then immediately turned that guilt into rage at sherlock and rage at the world for doing this to him (TWICE!!!) (which was different from Sherlock's death bc he wasn't angry then he was literally fucking Dead Inside) (which imo is just as valid and equally shit, though shit in a different typa way)

I'd like to add this quote from mofftiss though:

"It was interesting because very clearly that whole situation could have been wrapped up without bloodshed had Sherlock not kept egging her on in that moment. 

We spent a long time trying to work out what his culpability was. Obviously, it wasn’t his fault. Mary tried to save his life. But having Sherlock unable to stop himself from showing off and that’s what riles her up to take the shot, I think it adds another layer."

So there is that. But that's sherlock guilt, not john's - john doesn't even know this.

John cheating? is it ooc? 

Not in my opinion. (Y'know, my john in colorblind (a considerably less flawed man in the canon) is becoming more and more alike to the canonical john every day, RIP) 

But john loves a thrill. And everyone was being pretty nasty to him in TST. I mean, the dog joke was practically cruel???? Here he is, sleeping in bed with a woman whose name he doesn't even KNOW!! Meanwhile, his best friend is taking the piss out of him every chance he gets over being less useful than mary. I mean, shit, sherlock.

Anyway, john would want excitement somewhere. And positive attention that doesn't absolutely riddle him with bitterness. He's pathetic. I love him dearly.

REALLY digging the idea that john was actually texting Harry in bed, though.

Mary's death?

No one can be 100% sure till we see the episode.

But i am of the opinion that - and no one kill me - she's honestly dead. And that her redemption arc was real.

Because honestly??? Like???? how many people's deaths have to be thrown into question? 

I think john's anger is the juciest part of his entire arc. It is SO... tangible. It is so deserved. John just gets beaten down. Season after season after season. He is constantly beaten into the fucking ground. And he keeps it very well concealed. and now that it shows up, it's invalid anger, it's irrational.

mary coming back would undercut that, imo. Because: that would fix his anger. It's a magic marker. She comes back and is evil, and john realizes that she was working against them, and reunites with his best friend and then they kiss. (This was my original thought.)

But john needs to face that head on. He's been running from it since sherlock died; his anger. I seriously doubt he REALLY EVER got over Sherlock faking his death. The tarmac? John was very tight lipped. And he knew what he wanted to say - he wanted to say a lot. But he never brought himself to. because he was bitter as hell. (Bitterness is a paralytic.) And then sherlock came back and he got to sweep it under the rug.

He needs to face that. Mary coming back to inadvertently push them together lets him sweep it under the rug, AGAIN. he needs to actually resolve his anger. With sherlock. No one pushing them together. No coerced forgiveness in a train car, turned into a fucking prank. God, it makes ME angry, and I'm not even john.

So i think she's dead :) and I'm very happy with how they ended her arc (although there's definitely something we're not seeing.)

For example, loose ends!

-the weirdness of the entire episode. Felt extremely uneasy for the duration. Everything was a little... off. The lighting. 221B. The tone. The cases.

-the time period in which mary takes the bullet. Literally impossible for her to get shot like that - i pinned it down to suspension of disbelief, but there may be more.

-"there's not a spurt of blood and your body goes flying backward" (could be explained if she nicked the aortic artery, also explains why john "didn't try" to save her)

-very talky, dramatic death? Not saying i ain't thankful B) love the drama dads ty

-doesn't push sherlock out of the way?

- LOTS of TAB parallels... 

-"go to hell"??????

-mary touching Molly's lip,,, this is a REAL "the literal fuck"

-everything I've believed abt mary for the last 3 years...

I personally just think that "mary KNEW that the worst thing she could do is SACRIFICE HERSELF TO SAVE SHERLOCK'S LIFE, because she KNEW john would have an irrational reaction to blame sherlock for her death! She made her death count!" is.......a bit. . Convoluted... . Jk it's a lot convoluted ngl

And like if u read my "Thoughts abt mary" you can see where my head is at about her past decisions. But ya in my mind, sacrificing yourself so someone can live does redeem you lol idk what she could do to please y'all i mean she's already dead pls let that part of the plot reach its natural conclusion

I felt really bad for sherlock... he loved her

In tab when he was like "anything for mary" i was like "SHE FUCKING!!!! SHOT YOU?! AND DIDN'T APOLOGIZE!!! SHE IS EVIL!!!!" but now i realize ugh

because john loved her sherlock loved her too....... this tv show hurts me.,........ he would have done anything for john to be happy so he loved the woman that shot him and vowed to protect her........ i hate sherlock he is too soft and needs a self love manual

Him crying.......... "i so like you... did i ever mention?"

"You did..."

can someone PLEASE END MY FUCKIGN SUFFERINC!!!'g

If they wanted mary to be a villain they shoulda fucking done it in EPISODE 1. No "fake death" nonsense. Idk faking her death serves no purpose except to make everyone roll their eyes when she pops back up lol

If she's really a villain it'll be posthumous.

Overall thoughts:

Loved it. First watch was kinda bleh, i had bad connection,, 

By watch 2 I was like "yes yes yes yes"

Loved the dog thing

I WANT MORE SHERLOCK W THR BABY ITS CUTE OJK 

What the hell are they gonna do with the goddamn baby?!?! kill it, get rid of it - something!! but it's cute so like don't? I'm conflicted

The car seat mystery omfg.... choking at the cases... anyone who thinks sherlock is about the cases I deeply pity

The fight scenes were so fucking good!!

Great performance from amanda (obviousslkyly)

John "didn't try" to save mary bc? Blood was gushing outta her? She is ABOUT to die? Took like 3 secs for john to realize she was super duper gonna be dead?

LOVED SHERLOCK FINALLY SPEAKING TO SOMEONE ABOUT HIS FEELINGS FOR JOHN,  HE LOVES HIM, HE LOVES HIM SO DEEPLY

i think that when mary says "save john" she's literally fucking telling sherlock: it is okay to move on. It is okay for you two to move on. Move on together, make him happy, save him, because you do and you will. Make him the happiest man alive because he deserves that. Oh my god im tearing up.... let them be happy...fuckc

MAKE JOHN HAPPY!!!! WHAT THE FUCK

when is the moriarty thing gonna resolve itself lol like wh

When will they speak

WHEN WILL THEY KISS

Sherlock texting was so funny, this whole ep was funny

Hey, but guys - no matter what happens, they're gonna be happy. "It's a bit soppy, this - but love conquers all :>"