A/N: I'm not very good at writing poetry but yet I continue to write it
Sorry everyone
PS! currently finals week so pls do not think i have abandoned you lol I'll be back soon and with new chapters
REALLY EXCITED ABOUT WHERE THE STORY IS GOING so stay tuned
Sorry about the wait, i hate it too

I just want some fucking closure.
What have I ever done to warrant this kind of
evisceration,
this raw heat,
a relentless cat scratch where I
held faith close to me
and prayed.

I prayed for mercy.
You have given me nothing except reckonings
and short answer questions.
And then I prayed for relief because
I am very tired
of hearing in my head
the things he told me were true.

I loved him, I loved him, I loved him. 
Let that be the quiet thing
rustling in the basement of your home.
You know it well
but will not take it from me.
Instead, we play a game
wherein I am the mouse being swallowed.

You press candy against my lips 
and strangle me with your other hand
as if I had begged you to.
I can never digest your fucking parable.
I wait for something pretty to make me forget
every ugly thing you've done to me.
I wait to forget this secret, savage jealousy.

Now I pray for justice - or perhaps revenge,
and maybe that's what you always wanted.
Maybe I do not need closure because this anger, itself, is a gift;
compensation for my self-vivisection.
Maybe you are looking down from Heaven
and releasing thunderous applause
as I gladly dig my own grave.