sherlock combing his fingers through the hair on the nape of john's neck, holding him close, feeling his heart hammer

john is wracked with guilt and crying but he's grounded because he is physically leaning into sherlock's chest, against the heart covered by soft pale skin, feeling Sherlock slide his hand against his shoulder, against his skull

When Sherlock whispers "it's okay," john hears him, john feels his chest expand, everything is crumbling but

It's just the two of them and sherlock's fingers are warm and he smells like baker street, the only real home john's ever known

Sherlock finally can touch him, finally can hold him close, finally can let John know that he cares so much, he wants john to be happy, no matter what

He wants this, he wants to hold john, he wants to steady him, he wants to let him feel his heartbeat, feel his breath, feel his certainty that they will survive this

he rests his cheek against john's head as he cries and no, it's not okay, but that's okay

Because sherlock is holding him and comforting him and sliding his hand along the base of john's skull and that's all john ever really wanted

John is devastated but sherlock's mouth is buried in john's hair

and if john closes his eyes and stays quiet, he can hear sherlock breathing

It's just the two of them oh my god