Ah, finally! The story called "probably posting, usually updates" is actually being used for posting an update!

Oh my gosh guys. I just wanted to express my gratitude to anyone who has been with me for a long time. I genuinely still read the comments and all the love and laughter and community that you guys gave me - I would not be the writer that I am if I did not have an outgrowth of love, support and positivity from my friends and fans on here... I just feel so freaking grateful. I can't reply to every comment, but if I feel down, I just look at how you guys are so positive and wonderful to one another. It just makes my life a bit better. You guys are really the best and I think about how you all are probably going into college now too... I'm wishing you all AMAZING luck. I have a very funny, talented, and interesting audience! XD

I'm a senior in college now... I'm going for a computer science degree (bleh, I know), but I'm writing my debut novel in my very rare free time. I'm about 70 pages in. I'm not sure when it'll be finished but I'm hoping that things will progress in a way that will be positive and fast. The story is about a mixed girl that moves to Michigan in 2008 and learns different lessons through interpersonal relationships. I made it sound boring lololol but it's really a joy to write, with a lot of interesting themes about desire, coming of age, intergenerational trauma, forgiveness, the nuance of consent, coming to terms with your sexuality, racial tensions, ie the dynamics of being mixed in a black and white world, family conflict, depression and anxiety, etc. Maybe too many interesting themes! Gonna have to sort that one out in future drafts...

I'm not even sure "how" to be a professional author so I'm just getting a manuscript done and worrying about the administrative stuff later, I guess. As an aside, if anyone has published a book, please contact me in my DMs and let me know how you did it and what you'd recommend, having gone through the process. 

I'd love to show you guys something for it soon. I'm just not sure the best way to go about advertising my work (in a way that'll be sustainable for real life, i.e. paying the Grown-Up bills that I now have!) and I don't want to jeopardize publishing the book that I've been working on for a few years now. I am just really really hopeful. This has always been a dream of mine, to put out something that someone can hold in their hands and truly enjoy. I FEEL REALLY PASSIONATE LIKE

This novel I'm writing is just so human. There are so many people I know that struggle with the issues my main character has in this book: feeling disconnected from other people, not being good enough, feeling like everyone's least favorite friend, feeling abandoned by the people they care for deeply. I am putting my heart and soul into this, so hopefully, in the future, a teenage girl can read my book and know that I've been there too. 

And it's about being black, it's about being queer, it's about being in love, it's about navigating the world as a girl, it's about being a daughter in a difficult family. But I also feel like every person can relate to the feeling of desperately needing love and affection from others and not knowing how to get that. Not knowing how to ask, or being afraid of being rejected, or reaching out and being hurt by someone you trust. It's about being in touch with what you need and who you are. It's about escaping the tiny boxes the world shoves us into and freaking breathing in as a species. It's fucking hard to live in the world. It's even harder to live in the world when there are so many people but none you feel safe with. No one that you can talk to or connect with or understand. 

But everyone wants love. Everyone really, really wants love. In life, there is no bad guy, just people whose insights and perceptions are impaired by traumatic experiences. We can choose to address those issues or ignore them and hurt ourselves in the process. Sometimes we hurt others. Sometimes we're so hurt that we refuse to be vulnerable again.

And I love that each supporting character adds a wonderful new element that you can relate to if you don't relate to the main character. It's just about being a person coming into the world. That's really beautiful and inspiring to me, even if the book deals with some harsh subject matter. I love the message of humanity and compassion. I get to write about it, what a gift!

And so, that's my update! Thank you guys SO much again!