In the depths of night, while almost everyone in Aadyabhoomi slept, a lamp continued to be lit in one room. Lounged against two large pillows, a young man was sketching deftly in a large journal.

The pencil glided across the page for one last time, and then the image was complete.

Prithvi sat up with a frown as he stared at the image

He had given up trying to capture Nandini's dreamlike enchantment on paper long ago. He had not yet drawn a portrait that did any justice to her, and had grown accustomed to the discontent he felt on reviewing each image.

But the images he had drawn recently weren't just unsatisfactory. They were vaguely troubling.

The large black eyes that emerged under his hand on paper were beginning to look increasingly aloof. The smiles seemed tinted with a faint disinterest. The silken black hair that he loved often hid her face from him.

He had begun using a pencil so he could erase the disconcerting portions and draw them afresh. It didn't help. Something in his own mind seemed adamant on distancing her from him...

Frustrated, he tossed the pencil and journal away and leaned back against the pillows with a sudden feeling of exhaustion.

If seen from a neutral perspective, Nandini had forsaken him at the most painful and difficult juncture of his life...apparently for a reason that didn't have anything to do with him.

But she must have massive reasons for doing so, he told himself mulishly. On that disastrous morning, she must have faced a situation that had shattered her completely. His dear mother hadn't just committed the unforgivable sin of hitting Nandini. She must also have used her words to cause as much trauma as possible...

His instincts had dismissed outright the likelihood that Nandini was actually basing her decision on something her father had said. Though, of course, it was natural and logical for Siddharth Bharadwaj to want to protect his daughter from having any connection with a person like his mother.

It was very likely, however, that his mother had issued a violent threat against the Bharadwajs or spoken insultingly about them. If so, he could understand Nandini's behaviour completely... and he would set things right, Prithvi mused grimly.

Or his mother could have revealed some misdeeds she had committed against the Bharadwajs. He was trying to discover if any such thing had happened and had spoken to a few people who knew his family long ago. But no relevant information had come to light yet. If he did find out about such an incident, he would do everything in his power to make amends to the Bharadwaj family.

But if it was only about the past, Nandini wouldn't have wanted to shunt him out of her life. No, she wouldn't be so harsh towards him because of another person's actions, and especially not during this harrowing phase in his life.

As usual, his analysis eventually came back to the same point.

The main person to blame had to be him. His mother had caused massive damage...but Nandini's resolve to split up was definitely triggered by his actions. He had mistreated her repeatedly since their first meeting, and given her more misery than happiness in the time they had spent together. But then... he hadn't fought with her that morning, and he couldn't remember having said or done anything particularly wrong during those hours. He'd been thinking about it continuously and had tried to recollect every miniscule detail of his interactions with Nandini. But he had come up with nothing.

He was missing a major point.

Or was he refusing to face reality, Prithvi mulled uneasily.

His love for her and his faith in their bond couldn't be damaged by an outsider or their actions. Even if everyone else who was dear to him was against his relationship with her, it would mean less than nothing to him. And the idea of a third person having any importance in their relationship or influencing its course was incomprehensible. Their happiness, their peace, their fights, their love...everything was contained in their private universe. Other people and external events didn't exist in the space between them.

He wanted to believe she felt the same way, irrespective of what this experience – and previous ones – had taught him...

As his heart grew increasingly restless, Prithvi intuitively reached for the wad of papers lying next to him. He unfolded them with immense care and ran the tips of his fingers across the beautiful words that still vibrating with her love.

Despite the uncertainties and confusions, he still wasn't upset with her. If anything, the craving to feel the gentleness and purity of her love, and the peacefulness that he experienced only in her presence, had increased to the point where it seemed to be driving him insane. Memories of their time together haunted him throughout the day. For the negligible time that he did manage to sleep each night, she was all he dreamed about.

He needed to see her...to talk to her and get to the root of the whole issue.

He just had to get through a few more hours. His mother, who had seemed unusually subdued since yesterday, planned to leave for Devgarh very early in the morning, taking the scumbag along with her. Then he could set off for Shamli.

He hadn't decided what he was going to tell Nandini or how he was going to change her mind. He did know it was not going to happen over one visit. He would have to try repeatedly, and he was prepared for the long haul.

Before that, he just needed one confirmation from her. A small single confirmation...but one that could put together the fractured bits of his life...

*****************************

Nandini rang the bell and waited. After about two minutes, her mother peered out the window and looked at her with surprise.

Opening the door quickly, Sarojini said, "You're back early. I thought you said you would return after having tea with your friends."

Nandini entered the living room and sitting down heavily on the sofa. "Nishi had to leave," she answered while sliding the bag's handle from her shoulder. "So, I thought of coming back too."

"How was lunch?" her mother smiled.

"It was very good. Vrinda's mother had prepared many amazing dishes," Nandini replied warmly. "She gave me some recipes. We could try them out on the weekend," she added enthusiastically.

"Alright, we will do that," Sarojini chortled. "Do you want tea?"

"Not now. You should go back to your room and sleep, Maa. I think I'll watch some TV for some time."

As her mother walked up the stairs, Nandini switched on the television disinterestedly for her mother's benefit. She waited for a few more seconds, and then strolled to the large window and gazed out.

It had rained for a short while before, and after that, the temperatures had shot up. The heat combined with the sluggishness that followed lunch seemed to have sapped the energy of everyone in the area. Hardly a soul was outside.

Why was she giving importance to the insistent inner voice that claimed Prithvi was on his way to Shamli, Nandini thought exasperatedly. She'd had some odd abilities when it came to him...but they were not of the kind that could predict his arrival from a place that was so far away...

Ignoring her logical reasoning, her heart continued to pace frantically.

She had gone to meet her friends because she'd wanted respite from the venomous thoughts churning in her head since day before yesterday when she's heard Priyamvada's nauseating voice on the phone. She had just begun limping back to a semblance of a normal life when Priyamvada's call had come. And the vile woman's talk had sent her hurtling back to the starting point. She had tried many things to divert her mind and get rid of the anger that was burning within her. Nothing had helped...

But the reason she'd returned earlier than expected from Vrinda's house was the strange agitation that had been increasing since morning. And it was reaching almost unbearable levels now. It was a blessing that Nishi's parents had asked her to return home because of some unexpected guests, Nandini reflected. It had given her a pretext to leave too. Otherwise, she would have had to concoct an excuse to return home.

Nandini moved away from the window and tried to distract herself.

There were many positive things that could occupy her mind. Her mother had purchased many beautiful outfits for her day before yesterday. Some of them were dress pieces. She had to give them for stitching. School and college were about to begin soon. She had start arranging the schedules for her tuition children. She also had to purchase books for the second year of college.

She would normally have felt cheerful and excited about the coming days. But now she couldn't even recall what those emotions felt like.

Nandini paced through the room, anxiety escalating steadily.

Prithvi was on his way. She couldn't do anything to stop him. She could only wait...and as she waited, she could think about what she needed to tell him. The questions that were going to be thrown at her, and the truthful answers that she owed...

***************************

The car swerved fluidly into the narrow, shabby lane that was off the maid road, and then came to a halt gradually.

Prithvi grabbed the small bag from the passenger seat, ensured he was carrying the spare house keys, and disembarked from the rented vehicle.

He strode for about thirty metres along the main road. Several load-bearing trucks were roaring down the road, with very little space between them. He walked slightly ahead while waiting irritably for the vehicles to pass. Then the cloud of dust and noxious fumes stirred up by the trucks settled down, and he rewarded with the view of the place that was his idea of paradise.

Oblivious to the fact that he was smiling slightly, Prithvi crossed the road and walked towards the locality that contained his favourite houses and people. He had chosen the right time to visit. The whole place was deserted. The population of the town was obviously sticking to their ancient tradition of sleeping like the dead post lunch. Sankatmochan would not be at home when he arrived. The hyperactive git would get a surprise when he returned in the evening.

Prithvi slowed down as familiar buildings came into view. Vrindavan, Ayodhya and the shrine that had transformed his life one night. He looked warmly at the old structures, and then strode swiftly towards his twin homes.

He halted before Vrindavan, and gazed at its doors with mingled tenderness and reverence.

He was going to meet the angry pumpkin at long last. He had also brought a gift for her, a tiny prize for her brilliant performance in the exams. She would probably use it to try to break his skull open.

Yet, despite knowing how unpleasant their first interaction was going to be, he couldn't help hope that he would be able to gaze at her to his heart's content...to see the beautiful smile that could instantly dispel his grief and tension...and to hold her until all the toxicity was purged from his mind...

He couldn't wait to meet the rest of the Bharadwajs too. Bhoothnath, the greatest unintentionally entertaining man of all time. Nandini's mother, who had the kindest, most peaceful face on the planet. And Prakash, who often managed to be annoying, sweet and funny at the same time.

Much like his older sister, Prithvi thought amusedly as he headed towards Ayodhya, happier than he had been in weeks...

********************************

Nandini replaced the half-empty glass of water on the platform of the kitchen with a trembling hand. She stood motionless for some moments, steeling herself for what lay ahead.

Then she left the kitchen and opened Vrindavan's doors. She walked down the steps to the courtyard. Her heart sank on seeing that Ayodhya's door was partially open. It had been closed when she had arrived home.

Nandini touched the earthen structure that housed the tulsi, unconsciously seeking comfort from the holy plant. Then she compelled her feet to move towards Ayodhya. Noiselessly opening the gate between the houses, she walked into the adjoining yard and climbed the two steps that led to the living room.

She entered it tentatively.

Prithvi was sitting on the couch, rummaging impatiently through a small black bag that was on the floor in front of him. He had evidently just arrived and hadn't even removed his shoes yet.

She gazed at him fervently for a second, inscribing everything about him on her mind.

He glanced up absently, and shock eliminated the furrow on his forehead.

She was standing by the doors

They didn't know that the same emotions were abounding within them. The uncertainties and reservations evaporated  temporarily. An intense peace filled their hearts, and their spirits were uplifted by a pure, innocent joy..

Moments later, awareness too returned simultaneously. However, the feelings it brought along were drastically different for both of them.

Prithvi kept his bag aside and rose quickly. But when he moved towards Nandini, she retreated sharply.

The powerful hope that had dawned in his chest on seeing her withered away. He had wished – even prayed - that time and distance would have softened her resolve. But her disturbingly reserved gaze was telling a different story.

Prithvi quickly raised his arms in an adorable gesture of surrender and moved back. "Okay, okay, I won't come closer – just – just don't go," he said hastily.

He held his breath until she took a step sideways and occupied the chair closest to the door.

Relieved, he sat down slowly, watching her cautiously like she was a frightened kitten that was about to bolt from the room.

He didn't want answers in this moment. He didn't want anything from her. She was in front of him. That was enough. She probably wouldn't talk to him for more than a minute. That was fine too. The entire journey had become worthwhile because he had seen her.

"You – you've just reached. You should rest...and eat something," Nandini mumbled. "I can bring you food from home. Or a glass of water?"

The considerate question did not comfort him, because she had posed the query with the polite formality that she used while interacting with unfamiliar individuals.

"I don't want anything...I just need to talk to you," he said hesitantly. "Nandini, I -"

"Wait. I know why you're here," Nandini interrupted jerkily. "I don't want waste your time or mine with meaningless conversations. And – and I now feel you have the right to know why I took the decision to..." she faltered, and then tiredly said, "You were right. It was not because of what my father said."

The unanticipated admission stunned Prithvi. But wary of saying the wrong thing, he remained silent and waited for her continue.

"Do you remember what Kedar uncle had said...about my father going to Devgarh and fighting with your family?" she asked in a low voice.

"Yes, I remember," Prithvi said cautiously.

"That morning in Aadyabhoomi, your mother told me how she had insulted my father many times...and threatened to harm him because he showed her the mirror about her negligence towards you." Nandini replied tightly. "She wasn't sorry about it at all. She also told me what she thought of my father and his efforts to save you- it was unbearable. All this might seem like minor issues to you, but they were not for me. I got upset with her and spoke rudely. That's when she hit me."

Prithvi shut his eyes briefly. He felt furious and sickened - and unsurprised. Kedar had already told them most of these things, and his mother was capable of doing much worse. At the same time, he was absolutely certain that Nandini was lying about why his mother had hit her and was sharing merely a fraction of the facts. However, he had to avoid strong reactions and aggressive questions if he wanted the conversation to continue...

"It is not a small matter...and I'm sorrier than I can say for what she did," Prithvi murmured. "But you're still not telling me the whole truth. Did she just threaten? Or was she also responsible for what the guards did?" he asked incisively.

Careful to stare only at the inanimate objects in the room, Nandini listlessly said, "No, she didn't ask them to do anything. I've finished talking about this. I will not speak of it again. You can try whatever you want to force me to speak up. Go to my family, tell them about us, invent stories about our relationship...but you will not get another word out of me."

Cold fury leapt up in Prithvi's gaze. He controlled it somehow. If he lost his temper now, the situation would go downhill in seconds. He had to stay calm and get her to speak.

He intently said, "Nandini, you're not saving me from anything by hiding facts. I already know my mother is a terrible human being, and doesn't care about the difference between right and wrong," he muttered with disgust. "I'll believe whatever you say without question...so, please be honest – what else did she say? Did she threaten you in any way? Did you she threaten your family?"

She glanced at him fleetingly. There was virulent rage and hatred in her eyes, but no sign of fear.

As he gazed at her in shock, Nandini looked away again and roughly said, "She didn't. Even if she had, I wouldn't take a decision based on it. The problem is you don't think this reason is good enough for me to break up with you...because you don't understand why it hurts me so deeply to know that my father was ill-treated and humiliated by your mother. And the way she spoke about him – I wanted to destroy her," she stated bitterly, nauseated by the mere recollections of her talks with Priyamvada.

But then she instantly felt aghast. She had revealed more than she had intended to.

Enraged at her own self, Nandini rose all of a sudden. "I've told you what you came here to find out. I'm leaving now. You can stay here for as long as you want, but please don't try to speak to me about anything," she said tersely, and started to move to the door.

Prithvi couldn't restrain himself any longer and got up to stride over to her. He caught her a soft arm and turned her around firmly.

Incensed, Nandini pulled her arm from his grip. "Don't touch me," she snapped.

He quickly said, "I'm sorry, I won't do it again. But please don't go without hearing me out first."

Still frowning, she crossed her arms and evaded his gaze, but didn't attempt to leave.

"I'm sorry for whatever she did and said," Prithvi said urgently. "It was unforgivable. I can make her apologise to you and your family, but it won't be genuine," he said uncomfortably, then desperately added, "I promise you...I won't let her hurt you or your family in any way. And – and I will apologise to your family too on her behalf - I'll do whatever you want. Just tell me once and - "

"You cannot do anything to change what she did," she said flatly, not looking at him. "And that is the only way you can change my decision. No one who hurts my family gets a second chance. Even if you force your mother to beg at my doorstep every day for the rest of her life, it won't make any difference to how I feel. I don't want a woman like her – or anyone related to her to be near me."

Then she finally met his gaze, and her moist eyes softened. "If you have ever truly loved me...if you've ever wanted my happiness, then please let us end this relationship peacefully, and go our separate ways," she pleaded.

Prithvi stared at her disbelievingly, his face colourless, and his entire body immobilised by an icy dread. In the beautiful eyes that he loved madly, he finally saw the stark reality that he had staunchly refused to accept till now. It was over...

With a new roughness in his voice, he abruptly asked, "Is any part of your decision based on my behaviour with you? Even a little bit?"

Prithvi prayed with a sudden despair for her to answer in the affirmative. Almost anything would be easier to bear than to know that she was destroying his life because of another person's wrongdoings.

"No...my decision doesn't have anything to do with you," she answered bleakly.

She cringed inwardly as he regarded her with a strange confusion, as if seeing her in a new light.

"So, you're punishing me for being Priyamvada's son?" he said slowly, still struggling to understand.

Crushing guilt forced Nandini to lower her eyes. She could try to use numerous words to disguise the ugliness of what she was doing, but she didn't deserve their protection.

"Yes," she stated clearly.

His heart...his spirit...his soul...everything was engulfed by a firestorm of pain and anger.

"I need one last favour," Prithvi said distantly.

She glanced up at him unsurely.

Studying her with clouded eyes, he softly said, "Imagine that my mother sincerely regrets every wrong that she committed against your father and is sorry about what she said about him. And she genuinely wants to be forgiven by you and your family. If that was the case...would you change your mind about our relationship?"

When she uncomfortably began to speak, he forestalled her response by grimly saying, "Give it a minute's thought at least...please. That's all I'm asking."

Nandini was assailed by an unexpected restlessness. Unable to think lucidly with his anguished eyes on her, she ambled mechanically towards the small couch in the room. 

She sat on the sofa and closed her eyes reluctantly. It was enormously tough, but she tried to visualise what he had asked. She imagined seeing heartfelt regret on Priyamvada's face, and visualised Priyamvada requesting her father and her whole family to forgive her. How would she feel then...would she be able to let go of her loathing and wrath...

Nandini's hands instinctively came together, fingers interlocked tightly. With a frightful urgency, she earnestly searched the innermost recesses of her heart for compassion and understanding for Priyamvada.

One minute passed...then three...then seven...but the only thing she could see was the fierce, unvarnished truth. Even if Priyamvada spent the rest of her life atoning for her sins, it would not be enough.

Nandini opened her eyes to see blurry outlines of the artefacts in the room. She'd been afraid of seeing Prithvi right in front of her. But thankfully, he had not moved.

Using all her inner strength to force the words out, she whispered, "What your mother might feel and do now or in the future doesn't matter to me. She can spend the rest of life doing good deeds, but it won't change her past actions. It's not possible for me to forgive her. Not just forgive....I cannot endure her presence or look at her without hate. And you're her son...so I..I...cannot feel for you the way I did before. I'm sorry..."

The tomblike silence seemed to go on a day and a half.

Then Prithvi approached the sofa and sat down a little away from her.

They remained absolutely still in their respective spots for several minutes.

"I grew up facing cruelty from almost everyone around me," he said quietly. "I thought I had seen all levels of it. But you proved me wrong today."

The words spoken so gently...so lightly...scalded her.

Prithvi picked up his bag and shut it. He got up and slung the bag on his shoulder. "Don't tell Mochi I was here," he said briefly.

"Okay," Nandini mumbled as she rose automatically. Her heart was begging her to embrace him for the last time. Her limbs didn't listen. It urged her to tell him that she loved him, and that she would love him, and only him, till her last breath. Her lips barred the words.

She could only gaze at him as he strode to the door.

Prithvi paused and spun to look at her. "Do you remember I'd told you once that you would be a part of my life until I decided otherwise?" he asked offhandedly.

She stared at him in shock, her body tensing up painfully at the frightening question.

"I've decided otherwise," Prithvi said casually. "I don't want a person like you in my life. You're free to go your way. But pray to all the gods you know that our paths should not cross again," he adjoined quietly.

Nandini continued to be stock-still for a long time after he had left. When she could stir again, she walked unsteadily out of Ayodhya and halted at its gate. She gazed in the direction of the main road for a considerable while. Then she turned and proceeded towards Vrindavan, and managed to walk into the house without stumbling.

Nandini spun one last time to gaze numbly at the vacant grounds before the house, then she gently closed the doors.

***********************************