Nandini stepped out of the washroom, freshened up and all set to go home, and was astonished to see Vrinda and Nishi, sitting on the sofa and grinning at her.

“Why aren’t you in class?” Nandini asked, surprised.

“Errrrr…..it’s a holiday,” Vrinda beamed, “The college announced it today itself.”

Nandini chuckled. “The college announced a holiday because I have a fever?”

“Oh all right. We bunked today,” Nishi admitted. “Rishabh wanted to come but couldn’t because he has a very important lecture. We’ll stay here till you are discharged, then we’ll go to college and attend the remaining classes.”

“But you all came to see me yesterday too. And I’m okay now,” Nandini said exasperatedly. “The fever subsided last night itself and doctor just left some minutes ago after the check-up. I’m perfectly fine. We’ll be leaving for home very soon.”

“So we’ll go with you,” Vrinda said stubbornly. “And when we came yesterday you were sleeping, so that visit doesn’t count. We just gave your bag to your mother, and we had hardly sat down when a whole mob of people from your locality came in and we had to go. I think everyone in Shamli came here yesterday to see you,” she ended on an injured note.

Nandini sighed and then grinned affectionately at them. She walked over to the bed and sat down facing them.

“So tell us what happened yesterday,” Nishi asked agitatedly. “We were so worried when you didn’t come back. And then after the lecture we tried calling your home number and we heard that you had an accident -”

“And Prithvi saved your life and got hurt himself,” Vrinda said with a sigh. “That was such a brave thing to do. He looks like a dream and is as valiant as the hero of a movie,” she sighed, “how can anyone be so perfect…”

“Yes…he saved my life,” Nandini said in a small voice.

“Are you feeling ill again,” Nishi asked tensely.

“No, I’m fine,” Nandini forced herself to smile. It was partly true. Physically, she was fit and fine, apart from a lingering feeling of tiredness. Her emotional state, however, was a very different story….

She surreptitiously crossed her fingers and told them the same story she had told her mother in the morning after waking up. That Sumer uncle had wanted her to give an urgent message to Prithvi, and she had left her bag with Nishi and gone in search of him, and she had been giving him the message when a car came towards them with great speed. The rest of course they already knew.

The door opened and her mother came into the room along with Prakash.

“You both are back again!” he asked, glaring at her friends. “Can’t you let Di rest for some time?”

“Prakash!” Nandini and her mother exclaimed simultaneously.

“This is no way to talk to your sister’s friends,” Sarojini scolded her son. “Apologise to them right away.”

“That’s ok, aunty. We didn’t mind.”

“Sorry,” Prakash said sulkily and then scrambled up on the bed and snuggled next to Nandini, who smiled and hugged him close.

Last night was quite a blur. She only remembered going to sleep on the bench outside Prithvi’s room. After that she had groggily woken up in the night to see many people by her bedside, peering down at her. And she vaguely recollected Prakash instructing people to talk in a low voice so as to let her sleep, and even asking some of them to go away and leave her in peace.

“My Nandini is alright now and ready to come home.”

All turned to see grandfather bouncing into the room joyfully. “Come on. We can leave in another 15 minutes.”

Nandini and her mother were the last to leave the room. While her mother investigated the small room for anything she might have overlooked, Nandini picked up her bangles, which had been removed last night and were lying on the bedside table, and put them into her college bag.

“Ma, how is Prithvi?” she asked softly, without looking at her mother.

“There is some slight improvement since yesterday,” her mother said, “but the doctor has said that some of the wounds are too deep and will take considerable time to heal. Do you want to meet him once before we go home?”

“No ma, it’s fine,” Nandini said rapidly. “Let him rest.”

“Yes, you’re right. And after all, he is coming to our house today and will be us for some days.”

“Who is coming to stay with us, ma?” Nandini asked confusedly.

“Oh I forgot to tell you,” her mother smiled, “Prithvi will be living with us for around a week.”

“Prithvi is going to live with us?” she asked in a feeble voice, abruptly feeling the need to sit down.

Sarojini nodded. “Sumer Singhji has to go for that work he had told us about. He had cancelled his travel plans but we offered to take care of Prithvi until he comes back. Are you okay, Nandini? You look like you are feeling a little faint.”

****************************

Fresh bed sheets and pillow covers in her hand, Nandini entered the bedroom next to her grandfather’s on the ground floor of her house. She had been advised bed rest for one day but she found it impossible to sit idle when her mother and grandfather were rushing around the house, getting things ready for their guest. And so she had insisted on doing this small chore at least.

The room, which was reserved for guests, was large and received plenty of air and sunlight. The bed was placed against a huge window. There was a small round stand next to it with a bedside light, one table near the door, two chairs and a cupboard. The room was cleaned painstakingly at frequent intervals so there was no need for any dusting, but Sarojini had scrubbed every corner of the room in the morning anyway. One thing that set apart this room from the rest was that it had an attached bathroom for the convenience of guests. Grandfather usually used the common bathroom that was on the other side of his room.

Nandini pulled off the present bed sheet and pillow covers and replaced them with the new ones. Before walking out with the old sheets, she ran a sweeping glance across the room to ensure she had not missed anything. That’s when she saw the empty flower vase on the table.

It was pleasantly warm in the backyard, as Nandini moved from plant to plant, trying to gather some long-stemmed flowers for the vase in Prithvi’s room and putting them in the cloth bag she was carrying. She was careful to silently ask their permission and apologise for any hurt she was causing while picking them, like her father had taught her to do.

After gathering enough flowers, she walked over to her old friend, the mango tree.  She kept the bag with the flowers at its base and caressed its bark.

Many days ago, at this very spot, she had decided to forget the foolish delusions she had about the night outside the temple and become friends with Prithvi. And now, standing under the same tree’s shade, Nandini jadedly reached another decision.

She was going to stay away from Prithvi and not disturb him again.

He had made it clear from the start that he disliked her heartily, but she had continued with her silly attempts to become friends. But he saved you, didn’t he, a small voice reminded her, and then when Kundan Singh had wanted to make her a hostage, he had said…and after that…he had come and stood before her, and the way he had gazed at her, and wiped her tears…almost…almost as if…he cared a little….

Nandini closed her eyes tightly, and shut her ears with her palms, trying to block out the memory. The intensity of the gaze….the gentleness…had only been another figment of her imagination. He would have done the same for any other girl who had been crying the way she had. Prithvi had been right – there was truly no limit to her stupidity, Nandini reflected wretchedly.  

The savage anger and revulsion in his tone and words in the hospital room had shaken her terribly. His expression and the things he had said seemed to have scorched itself into her mind.

She wanted to fulfill the promise she had given Aruna aunty, but she realized now that she was never going to be successful. She had known it would be difficult to get past his aloofness, but she had thought she was mentally prepared herself for his snubs, for the way he looked through her. But she wasn’t, and had never been.

She had never dreamt that it would hurt this much, that it would be so difficult to bear his indifference and loathing. Nandini felt more emotionally vulnerable than ever before and completely worn out with the constant conflicts. Even her tears had dried up. She hadn’t cried the way she had yesterday in years….

She didn’t have the strength to go on like this…

************************

The sounds of an approaching vehicle woke Nandini up from her afternoon nap. She stretched lazily and looked at the little clock on the wall. It was evening already. Nandini curled up to go back to sleep. She would sleep for just a little while more…

But a few seconds later, a car braked to a stop outside the gate, and Nandini sat up in bed, befuddled. Then she remembered.

Nandini leapt out of bed, and then gasped in pain as her ankle protested. The only window in her room opened out to an empty room in Ayodhya, but the window in Prakash’s room looked out into the courtyard. So she hurried into her brother’s room, rushed to the window, and grasping the bars, looked down at the yard.

Sumer Singh stepped out of the car, and then he hurried to the back door and opened it.

Prithvi stepped out of the car slowly, holding on to the car’s door for support. Sumer Singh held him to give him support and once Prithvi was on his feet, he kept one hand on Sumer Singh’s shoulder, and limping slightly, he walked into the courtyard.

He didn’t grimace or indicate through any gesture or expression that he was in pain. But Nandini remembered what the doctor had said and squeezed the bars so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

Just before he set foot on the front step, he looked up unexpectedly, almost as if he had sensed her looking at him. Startled, Nandini immediately moved back from the window. Then she turned around and went out of Prakash’s room into her own and sat down on the bed, feeling strangely restless. The sounds of her grandfather’s and Sumer Singh’s conversation drifted upstairs, punctuated with her mother’s and Prithvi’s voices.

Maybe she could just go down for some minutes, see his condition for herself and come back to her room at once. She got up eagerly and walked to door. But just before she crossed the doorsill, she halted.

‘The pain is bad enough without having to see your face too’….

He hated seeing her so much…

She slowly turned around, walked over to the table and took out the Krishna idol from her bag. Clutching it in hand to get some solace and peace for her heart and mind, she went back to bed and lied down on her side, wondering if he was feeling better now, and if the pain had reduced a little at least.

Someone was shaking her awake. She woke up and looked around drowsily to see her mother standing over her with a loving smile.

“Come and have your dinner, you haven’t eaten a thing since afternoon.”

Nandini smiled sleepily and nodded.

“Have they eaten, Ma,” she asked, when her mother was near the door

“Who are you asking about, Nandini?”

“Sumer uncle…and Prithvi,” she said hesitantly.

“Sumer Singhji will be eating with us, and then he’ll spend the night in Ayodhya. Prithvi had his dinner in his room some time ago because he had to take his medicines.”

Relieved that she wouldn’t have to face Prithvi, Nandini asked, “So when is Sumer uncle leaving, ma?”

“Tomorrow morning. Come soon, or the food will become cold.”  

After a quick and quiet dinner, Nandini was about to go upstairs, when her mother called out to her from the kitchen.

“Just keep this jug of water in Prithvi’s room before you go upstairs, I’ve already kept a glass there,” she said, handing over a pitcher to her. As she turned away to arrange the washed vessels, she failed to notice the look of despair on her daughter’s face.

Nandini cautiously opened the door to the room. It was dark, but in the combined light of the bulb in the living room and the gleaming moonlight streaming in through the window she saw to her relief that he was asleep. She had only taken a couple of tentative steps, when Prithvi stirred a little. Nandini came to an abrupt stop, and in the sudden urge to leave the room before he woke up and saw her, she speedily kept the jug on the table and fled the room.

***************************

Nandini uncomfortably shifted to her right side; then a minute later she rolled over to lie on her stomach, with her face pressing into the pillow. Still no sleep.

Nandini had been tossing and turning in bed for two hours now without success. She was tired physically, but her mind refused to listen to her body’s pleas for rest. Why was she feeling so restless…..She got out of bed and walked over to the table for a glass of water. Maybe that would help her get some sleep. She poured out a glass and was about to bring it to her lips when she remembered.

In her haste to leave the room before Prithvi woke up and saw her, she had kept the water jug on the wooden table, and not on the stand near his bed. Surely her mother would have checked once before going to bed. But what if she hadn’t?

Nandini slowly kept the glass back on the table as all kinds of horrible thoughts came rushing into her mind.

What if Prithvi felt thirsty…what if the pain increased during the night and he needed water to have his medicines, she thought in dismay.

What could she do? It was a long time past midnight - she couldn’t go into his room to check at this time of the night and she couldn’t possibly wake her mother or brother up for this. But she couldn’t go to sleep either, wondering if he was lying awake in pain at this moment and couldn’t reach his medicines or water.

Nandini sat down on the bed heavily in despair. The only option she had was the most frightful one - To go and look in his room herself and pray that he be sound asleep during her inspection. A day after he had harshly asked her never to interfere in his life and not show him her face either, she was going to go into his room in the depths of night. God forbid, if he was awake, he would probably skin her alive. But she had to do this...and this wasn’t interfering, Nandini told herself uneasily, she would be checking on him on purely humanitarian basis. She rose from the bed, took down her dupatta from the hook on the wall, and on very shaky legs walked to the door and opened it noiselessly.

Nandini traipsed down the steps almost on her toes, jumping in fright at every tiny sound. When she was halfway down the stairs she realized she was still wearing her anklets, but it didn’t make sense to go back at this advanced stage of her late night operation. She would just have to keep each step carefully to mute its tinkling sound.

Thanks to the dim light bulb that was kept on all through the night on the ground floor for her grandfather, she didn’t need a candle or torch.

Her courage almost failed outside the door to his room. It was only with the greatest of willpower that she resisted the desire to flee up to her room again. Praying hard, she opened the door bit by bit and peeked inside.

In the brilliant moonlight pouring into the room, she could see that Prithvi was sleeping. Relieved, she stepped inside and saw that the jug was still on the table. She stole across the floor to it, picked it up and without a sound made her way to the bed-side stand.

Nandini gingerly kept the pitcher near the medicines, and then feeling enormously relieved, turned around and began to walk towards the door.

“Nandini..”

Nandini froze in terror.

Scared stiff, she swung around and in the silvery light of the moon saw that he was awake and was looking at her. It was too dark to see his expression, but she assumed from long and painful experience that it must be very angry.

“I’m really, really sorry, Prithvi,” she said hurriedly in as soft a voice as possible, “I didn’t mean to disturb you. Please don’t be angry. I was just leaving. I only wanted to keep the water jug near you so in case you wanted to -”

“Can you do something for me?” Prithvi interrupted tiredly.

Nandini paused in the middle of her long and sincere apology. His voice sounded absolutely exhausted, and in some way, nothing like the Prithvi she had known so far. Worried, she quickly walked towards his bedside.  

“Of course, Prithvi,” she said anxiously. “Do you need something – your medicines or some water? Should I call grandpa or mother….or Sumer uncle?”

“Can you sit with me for some time?” he asked quietly.

Astounded, Nandini didn’t register what he had said for some seconds. She had definitely not heard right. As if he would say something like that…

“I think…I think I didn’t hear….what did you say?” Nandini asked apprehensively. And just then another scary thought struck her. Did he have fever? Was it the fever talking….

“It’s alright if you don’t want to,” he said in a worn-out voice.

Feeling more worried than ever, Nandini hastily said, “Oh no, I didn’t mean that. I’ll sit here for…I mean…with you.” She reached out to feel his forehead with her hand, but drew it back indecisively. There was a bandage on his forehead. Then, at last, she determinedly placed a gentle hand on the side of his face. He didn’t have a temperature. Nandini breathed in relief and was swiftly withdrawing her hand, when without warning, his hand firmly caught hold of her delicate wrist.

Nandini barely managed to stifle a cry of surprise. “I was only checking if you have a fever,” she said squeakily, “but you don’t.”

She nervously waited for him to release her. Instead, in a heart-stopping move, his fingers caressingly slid down her wrist and enveloped the velvety softness of her hand in a warm clasp.

‘Sit.…please,’ he said almost inaudibly.

So she had not made a mistake in hearing, Nandini realized with a face that felt uncomfortably hot all of a sudden. He had actually asked her to sit with him for some time.

Had he taken some really strong painkillers? And so didn’t know what he was saying? Nandini wondered nervously.

Sitting on the floor with the bandage on her ankle would be agonizing, but the chair was a little far away, and for some strange reason, she couldn’t bring herself to pull her hand out of his grasp. And so, gearing up for pain, she placed the other hand on the bed for support, and slowly sat down on the floor, folding her legs to one side. Sure enough, she felt a shooting pain in her ankle and squeezed her eyes shut in agony. But the throbbing faded soon and she could breathe again.

 When she opened her eyes, it was to find him gazing at her steadily, and her hand, securely wrapped in his, was resting on his chest. Her heart skipped a beat.

“How are you feeling?” she asked in a whisper, desperate to break the silence.

He didn’t answer, but looked away and closed his eyes.

“Aren’t you getting sleep?”

“No,” he said exhaustedly, “too much pain.”

Nandini had thought she didn’t have the strength to cry any more, but she realized now that she had been wrong. Tears were already perilously close. He was in so much pain that he couldn’t sleep…she looked down to gain some semblance of control over her emotions.

“Nandini,” he said suddenly, interrupting her train of thoughts.

“Yes?”

“There was something I wanted to ask you...about yesterday.”

Feeling slightly disconcerted, Nandini raised her head and found him looking at her again. What did he want to know about yesterday…

“You were only crying because you were afraid, weren’t you?”

“I was scared,” Nandini said, feeling increasingly perplexed. “But not for me, for you.”

“For me?” he asked, sounding strangely astonished.

“They had hurt you so badly, you were in so much pain,” she said softly, “and I was scared that you were going to -,”she faltered and shivered slightly, unable to even say the thought aloud.

“You were crying because I was in pain,” he said quietly. “But why?”

There was something in the question and in his tone that was heartbreaking…like he couldn’t understand why anyone would cry for him….Tears clouded her eyes again.

“Please try to sleep, Prithvi,” she managed to say around the painful lump in her throat, “You need to rest.”

“Hmm..” he sighed, and closed his eyes, still clutching her hand.

She rested a cheek on the mattress, looking at him. He seemed so innocent and endearing in repose….almost as angelic as a baby. Nandini smiled a little at the thought.

She waited for a long time, but he didn’t open his eyes or say anything again. Assuming that he had fallen asleep, she was gently withdrawing her hand from his, when suddenly, his grip on her hand tightened. Prithvi opened his eyes and fixed them upon her face again.

“I’m sorry,” she said earnestly, “I thought you had gone to sleep.”

“You said you won’t let me be alone. Did you forget?” he asked softly.

Mystified, Nandini started to say, “But when did I -,” and then it came back to her. She had said it when he had been walking away, and he had come to an abrupt halt and spun around and then…

Nandini dropped her eyes as her cheeks stained red, unable to meet his gaze. “I – I didn’t -” she stammered in confusion.

“Didn’t what? Didn’t mean it or didn’t forget?” Prithvi demanded.

The amusement in his tone riled her slightly, and Nandini looked up in annoyance….and regretted it.

In the bright moonlight, his intent gaze burned over her exquisite face. And then indolently lifting his hand off hers, he began to run a fingertip leisurely down the side of her smooth cheek, leaving a trail of blazing colour and warmth.

“I want my answer, Nandini,” he said softly.

“Prithvi…please,” Nandini beseeched in a whisper, but his finger continued on its slow journey. “I – I didn’t…forget,” she admitted at last, horribly flustered, with heartbeats sounding loud enough to wake up the house.

He finally took pity on her and with a lazy smile, withdrew his hand from her flushed face and captured her hand again. Then he closed his eyes, and a few minutes later, at long last fell asleep with his grip on her hand intact.

Nandini sat absolutely motionless for some time more, watching him sleeping peacefully.  She was still trembling and her heart continued to thud as though she had just run a race, and how effortlessly he had slipped into sleep.

What had just happened, she thought in bewilderment. Had the whole conversation been her imagination…but her cheek was still burning along the line he had traced with his finger…

Painkillers…yes…it had just been the painkiller talking, she told herself again. Hadn’t the doctor said he had prescribed very strong painkillers? He didn’t know what he was saying…..and doing. And he wouldn’t remember anything tomorrow.

Nandini took a calming breath and then gently detached her hand from his, rose to her feet with a throbbing ankle and walked back to her room, feeling disoriented and unsettled.  

She lay awake for a long time, wishing her heartbeats would slowdown now at least, and accept the explanation of the drug-induced talk…

“What’s happening to me?” she whispered into the comforting darkness of her room.

******************

Nandini was the first to wake up the next morning, as she hadn’t slept the previous night at all. After taking her bath, she was going down to the kitchen to make tea when she realized that one of her anklets was missing again.

When she couldn’t locate it in the room or in the bathroom, with a sinking feeling, she realised exactly where it must have fallen.

She guardedly opened the door to Prithvi’s room. He seemed to be sound asleep. From the doorstep itself, Nandini scrutinized the floor in the early morning light. And then she saw it, near the leg of the bed.

She carefully walked towards it, and had just picked it when a movement made her look up. Prithvi had woken up and was looking at her in a mixture of shock and anger.

Her heart plummeted in distress. So she had been right….it had been the result of painkillers….he didn’t remember anything…

“What the-,” he spluttered furiously as she quickly straightened and went back a few steps, “What the hell are you doing here at this time?”

“I was just looking for- for something” she said quickly, remembering the last time she had told him she was looking for her anklet.

“Out,” he said tersely, “Get out right now.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll go,” Nandini said hurriedly. She reached the door, then stopped and turned around.

“I’m making tea, do you want some,” she asked cheerfully. Before he could retort curtly, she cut in again.

“But then don’t get used to the idea of tea in bed,” she said with a serious expression, “This is only because you are a patient. We don’t usually serve bed tea in Vrindavan,” she added with a grin, and then laughingly swung around to go into the kitchen.

*******************