"You are such a massive douche bag, Dave. How can you even say that movie is shit?! You're shit!" Karkat snaps, slamming his little hands down on the breakfast table. The two of you have been dating in secret for about a week now. If there's one thing you've come to find out, it's that you love when he gets all riled up.
"I agree, Dave. Twilight is a classic," Kanaya chimes in, her fascination with vampires bringing out her giddy side.
"Exactly! See? You clearly know nothing of the fine arts, you uncultured swine!" Karkat beams triumphantly.
You hold up your hands in surrender. "Relax, sweetheart. You and I will watch it sometime."
You grin as he flushes. "Sh-Shut up-!"
"So, are you two skanks done sneaking around?" Vriska snarks from behind you.
Karkat frowns and looks away. Your head snaps to glare back at her. "Hey, fuck you."
She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest. "Oh, I'm so intimidated. Why don't you two and John go take a trip to the closet and suck each other off!" She hisses.
John glares and stands. "Hey, shut the fuck up, you flighty broad! They're allowed to do whatever the hell they want. Don't get all pissy because your fuckbuddy dumped you," he barks angrily.
Your eyes widen in shock. You've never heard John talk to someone like that before. Vriska seems equally surprised. She's let her arms drop to her sides. Her expression resembles that of a kicked puppy. "Fine. Whatever. And I don't need her anyway. I have a real girl now. One who can actually see!" She snarls as she storms out of the cafeteria.
John sits with a huff and crosses his arms. "Sorry. She just needs to learn her place sometimes."
"Pfft. I'll say. I'm kinda glad you-" you're cut short by someone tapping on your shoulder.
You turn around to find Terezi. She looks upset, but tries to hide it with a stoic expression. "Can we talk for a second? In private?"
A chorus of 'ooooooh's spreads across the table in a childish manner. You growl as you stand. "Shut the hell up. We're not five. Yeah, Tez. We can talk." You glance back at Karkat as you follow Terezi out of the room.
She leads you down to the library, quietly closing the door so you can talk in peace. You sit on the couch and she follows before finally speaking up. "Listen, I know you and Karkat are a thing now. That's super and all, but-"
"-you like him."
She blinks up in your general direction, looking confused. "How did you-"
"-you make it obvious."
"Stop cutting me off!" You keep quiet, so she continues. "Yeah, I like Karkat. A lot. The thing is that he likes you... And..." She trails off, so you speak up.
"Let me guess. You miss Vriska?"
Terezi sighs. "You're too good at that."
You shrug. "It's a gift and my burden to bare. So what? Are you saying you want me to help you get her back?"
She groans in frustration and buries her face in her hands. "I don't know! I mean I want her back, but she's still with her boyfriend. That pisses me off. If we're going to be together, I want to be her one and only. Not her side hoe."
You nod, sitting back. "Yeah, I get that. Movie night is in two days. Why don't you see if you can pick the movie? Pick out her favorite. She'll know it was you."
Her milky eyes light up. "You think so?"
You smile a little, but only because she can't see. "It's worth a shot, right? What do you have to lose?"
She looks away and grumbles, "Nothing at the moment..."
"Go for it then. If she still wants that other bitch, then it's her loss really."
Terezi's quiet for a long moment before she 'glances' up at you. "Dave? Can I ask you something?"
You nod and frown. "Of course. Anything. What is it?"
She takes a deep, shaky breath before letting it out and quickly asking, "Is she more attractive than me?" You stop for a moment, attempting not to laugh. Then you let a snort slip. You lose it after that, doubling over with laughter and holding your sides. She frowns, furrowing her eyebrows as tears prick her eyes. "You could've just said yes!" She snaps and stands, ready to leave.
You grab her arm and wipe away your tears as you calm down, now reduced to small giggles. "I'm laughing because that's a ridiculous question. You're the most beautiful, funny, and outgoing girl I've ever met. She's trailer park trash. She's nothing compared to you. Don't worry about her. Vriska is totally just using her to make you mad. Keep your head up and don't let her know what she's doing to you."
Her face lights up as she sniffles and rubs at her eyes. "Really?"
You nod and smile, pushing the hair out of her face. "Really really."
She hugs you tightly, taking you by surprise. "You're the best."
You cautiously hug back, unable to hide your smirk. "I know. I'm the best of the best."
She chuckles and lets go, standing and brushing herself off. "Sorry to have kept you. I'll remember what you said."
"Good," you say as you stand as well, stretching. "I'm glad to hear it."
"Oh, and Dave?"
"Yeah-?"
She quickly leans up to peck your cheek, far too close to your lips for your liking. You chalk it up to her being blind and missing. "Thanks."
You rub the place that she kissed and slowly nod. "Sure. Anytime." She grins and waves to you as she leaves.
That kiss really sets you on edge. Surely it had to be a friend thing, right? A show of gratitude? Yeah, of course. That's exactly what it was. No need to worry.
Boy, you've never been more wrong in all of your life.