Chapter Thirty-Three

"I have a problem."

"You don't say?"

"I can't fucking read."

The silence that followed was deafening. I was laying flat across my bed on my stomach, chin resting on my laptop as I watched the little cursor line blink at me tauntingly. When I didn't get a response, I scowled and propped myself up on my elbow to turn and look at Seven, who was leaning back against the headboard of my bed. He'd been chewing on the end of his pen for a solid five minutes and the thing had finally given up the battle. Black ink was splattered up the side of Seven's pretty face and a few stray dots speckled his white-blonde hair.

I wasn't sure what confused him more. The pen exploding in his mouth or the confession.

"How's that taste?" I asked. Seven blinked, then scowled and sputtered for a moment before he wiped his hand over his mouth. I saw the faintest hints of silvery sparkles of magic and a second later, the ink was all cleaned up.

"I'm sorry, you can't read?" Seven asked again for clarification. I raised an eyebrow.

"So I can't read, big fucking deal."

"Four, your wedding is in three days."

"I know."

"Four, you requested the writing of your own vows."

"I know."

"Okay, just wanted to make sure we were both on the same page," Seven said dryly, reaching to the nightstand to grab a scrunchie so he could tie his hair back. I rolled my eyes and rested my elbows on the bed as I watched the cursor blink a little longer.

"Same page about what?" Hadrian asked as he came into the bedroom from the bathroom. His long wet black hair was wrapped up in a fancy towel that clipped into place so he could hold another towel around his tall skinny body.

"Four can't read," Seven said, making Hadrian blink and pull up short in surprise. He was quiet for a moment, then shrugged.

"That's alright. We can help him," he said as if it were that simple, which it sounded like it to me, but Seven immediately frowned, pulling the screen down on his laptop.

"Okay, except I have no idea what writing your own vows entails," he said, making Hadrian cock his head.

"It's quite simple. Just confess your undying love for him in a public setting using eloquent poetry," Hadrian explained, then frowned as he considered his own words before glancing at me. I stared at him.

"Did I mention I can't read?" I asked. Hadrian cleared his throat.

"When I said help, I mean tell us how you feel and we'll just write it for you."

"Yeah, except I'm supposed to read it out loud, right?" I asked. Hadrian frowned.

"I suppose the overseer would do that for you."

"I don't want him to," I huffed, turning back to glare at my laptop. I could see in the reflection of my screen that Hadrian and Seven were sharing curious stares, which made me roll my eyes. I pushed on the space bar and backspaced again a few times before sighing, groaning, and dropping my forehead on the keyboard so I was repeatedly typing gibberish.

"If you can't read, how can you use your laptop so well?" Seven asked. I glared.

"I can read basic shit, asshole, but I can't read like. Big words. Fancy words," I said, then paused and glared at Hadrian, who raised an eyebrow, "Elephant poetry."

"Eloquent," Hadrian corrected. I glared.

"You're uninvited to my wedding party."

"If I believed you, that would hurt my feelings," Hadrian replied, making me snort as he went back into the bathroom after grabbing his clothes, "Also, it's called a reception, not a wedding party."

"But that's literally what it is."

"A much more scaled back event."

"That sounds fucking boring. I wanna get drunk and eat cake."

"I don't think you should drink for a while," Seven grumbled, making me smirk as he sank down against the headboard, "Hades was super pissed last time we went out to drink. I mean, he was right to, but I don't like pissed Hades. It creeps me out." I frowned now, watching his hands creep to clasp his shoulder, like he was suddenly remembering all the times we were punished for even the most minor infractions. I looked back at my laptop.

It was weird looking back on where we came from to where we were at that moment. It was a combination of being so, so very long ago to being just like yesterday. Every so often, if I heard a loud door slam or chains rattling, I'd feel this chill go up my spine. I'd get goosebumps and need to get somewhere safe and fast.

Once upon a time, I would've seen the weakness and targeted it in the most brutal way possible. I'd do anything to get back in Mother's good graces, even if it meant just knocking someone off her hitlist for the time being. As long as she looked at me and she saw something useful, I didn't care what I had to go through.

Which was super fucked up and it took me way too long to get to this point.

"Hades wasn't gonna hurt anyone for what happened," I said, making Seven look at me doubtfully, "Sure, he was pissed, but he wouldn't do shit. Besides, I wanted to drink and do dumb shit, that's the point of getting drunk, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but your situation was different. It was dangerous."

"Mm, but for who? In the end? Truly?" I asked. Seven rolled his eyes and hit me with a pillow at the same time the door to my room opened.

"Hold your applause," Three greeted, walking in with bags hanging off his arms and the smell of hot and ready food, "The true soul of this party has arrived. You may now cheer." He bowed. I wrinkled my nose as Seven shook his head and Hadrian smiled as he came out of the bathroom at the same time.

"Oh, did Six get lost?" Hadrian asked, coming over to help Three with the bags at the same time giving him a kiss on the cheek. He was trying really hard to hide the way he groped Three's ass too and Three immediately turned pink, like some kind of virgin church girl. He mumbled something that sounded like it was along the lines of it's not on yet, whatever the fuck that meant. Hadrian just smiled at him and went to the coffee table with our takeout order.

"Ah," Three said after awkwardly clearing his throat, "Six had to stop and drop off a project at school, but he'll be on his way in a few. Any luck on those vows of yours?" He went to the coffee table to help Hadrian with the bags.

"Four's waiting until just now to tell us he can't read," Seven replied as I swung myself up onto my feet, while at the same time shoving Seven against the pillows. Seven scowled, shoving back at me. Three snorted.

"I knew that," he said, making Seven blink and turn to look at him in surprise.

"You knew?" He asked. Three nodded as he placed my little white carton of food in front of me as I settled into my armchair. Yes, it was mine, and yes, I scribbled my name on it because everyone kept sitting there when they came to visit my room.

"Of course I did," Three continued as he passed out our food, "I overheard the teachers to get confirmation, but yeah. It was kind of obvious because he reads at the speed of a toddler."

"Fuck you, I do not. The words are just stupidly big for something so basic. Why say eloquent poetry when you can just say pretty words?" I demanded, making Three snort.

"You'd write an awful book," he said, then paused and looked at Hadrian, "He should not write those vows. Who knows when we'll come across someone who actually likes Four again?" I gave up on using the little wooden sticks that came with the takeout box and settled for aiming them at Three's head. He ducked the first stick, but the second scored him right in the eyebrow, making him curse and duck back.

"You don't throw chopsticks," Hadrian told me, making me snort, and Hadrian looked at Three, "And don't make fun of Four for facing his fears. I think it's a wonderful opportunity for Four to really convey his feelings for River."

"I'm not scared," I snapped, but dropped my gaze to my rice as they carried the conversation on without me for a while.

I wasn't scared of reading out loud. I just felt like my brain wasn't good enough to tell River the shit that I felt about him. I didn't have words to explain it. I didn't even realize it was what they called love until just recently, and even then, it seemed scary to give it a name because it made it seem so real, which was... super cool and super fucking scary. Real things could disappear. Real things could shatter. Would what I had with River shatter if I wasn't careful?

The fact that that alone scared me told me how much I liked River. I'd never felt this way about anyone before. The idea of losing them was almost like choking. I was tired of drowning, tired of grasping at the air for no one's hand. But River was there. River pulled me out of that darkness and the thought of never being able to reach for him again was just too much to think about.

How was I supposed to tell River all of this in a way he could understand?

Big pretty words weren't my forte.

For a moment, I regretted asking about the vow thing. Originally, our vows would be written for us from the pages of the marriage manual or what the fuck ever Hades called it. That was the plan, but that didn't feel like enough and when River had mentioned his father liked to write his own vows, I jumped on that because it felt more personal. I wanted River to know everything I felt about him, but when it came right down to it, it was like words didn't exist perfectly enough to explain to River what I felt. He was such a constant now. Turning around, I almost always found River there to smile and take me against him. His touch never hurt, never burned, never ached. When he kissed me, it was like the world suddenly settled back into peace again. I felt like the world was stable under my feet again and I could relax.

When he smiled, I was relieved.

When he laughed, it was like music to my ears.

Fuck, even when he argued with me, I could just stare at him all day while he ranted and raved and eventually cooled down because he'd see me staring at him and he couldn't maintain the anger anymore.

"Gods," River had sighed in frustration yesterday, "Every time I'm ready to give you a piece of my mind you have to go and look at me like that."

"Like what?" I had asked.

"Like. Like, you can't imagine anything better," River said angrily, making me grin, "See, there you go, smiling like an idiot while I'm standing here, the only one angry, trying to reprimand you for your behavior."

"That's okay. You can keep yelling at me."

"I'm not angry anymore," River grumbled, turning away from me to put his shoes on. I laughed and crawled across the bed to get behind him, wrapping my arms around his chest in a hug. River deflated like a balloon and reached up to cup my face as I kissed his cheek.

"Mm, you smell good," I mumbled against his ear now, trailing kisses down to his neck, where he sucked in a sharp breath, "You smell like trees."

"I didn't realize spruces were so arousing for you."

"Not the spruce, loser," I growled and nipped at his collarbone, making him growl low in his throat, "It's you. You smell good."

"Are you trying to eat me?" River asked dryly as I nibbled at the space under his ear. He groaned and reached for my hair, giving it a little tug to warn me to back off. I ignored it and suckled at his earlobe, which made him shiver. He gave my hair another tug before he suddenly whipped us around so I was laying on the bed underneath him and he was on top of me, breathing hard, his cheeks flushed. I smirked up at him, wrapping my hands around his wrists as he propped himself up over me.

"Four, now isn't the time to be provoking me," he warned, making me cock my head at him teasingly. I turned my head and nipped at the inside of his wrist, making his breath hitch, and I watched with genuine satisfaction as his cock hardened in his dress slacks, which was somehow much more erotic than a pair of jeans. Making this posh incubus squirm was my specialty.

"What'd I do," I asked innocently, making River growl and I turned my head in to his wrist again, dragging my tongue along his soft tawny skin to the crook of his elbow. He trembled and shoved me back down on the bed and I stared up at him eagerly, waiting for him to just do it. To just push me down on the bed and fuck me.

Except there was a knock on the door and I shouted in frustration, making River hang his head in displeasure, before he roughly pushed himself off me and headed to the door, arranging his pants so he looked less like a horny incubus and more like a lawyer.

Ugh.

"Oh, Hadrian," River greeted Hadrian at the door and I sat up, scowling as I watched Hadrian walk in with Seven right behind him, "Seven, hello. I had no idea you guys were coming this early."

"We figured there would be a lot of work to do, so we came early," Seven replied as he walked in, carrying a couple bags, "Oh, nice pants, River." River flushed and adjusted some more as Hadrian gave him a friendly smile. I scowled, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

"What the fuck are you losers doing here? I thought we were meeting before dinner," I said, watching them come in and make themselves comfortable. River watched them for a moment, then looked at me and gave me an apologetic half smile.

"I gotta run," he said to me, making me frown, "Hades had some documents he wanted me to go over about the wedding. Do me a favor? Don't burn the palace down. It's still new."

"With that ugly ass thing," I said, gesturing to the gaudy chandelier over our heads, "I'd be doing this place a fucking favor. Oh, and what the fuck? Are you just gonna walk away from me? No goodbye?" River blinked, looking surprised. He glanced at Hadrian and Seven, who were consumed by their bags of goodies. He came over to me and leaned down to give me a kiss on the lips, with the intention to just pull away and head out, but I wrapped my arms around his neck and yanked him down for a much more intense kiss.

Lips to lips my ass.

I wanted the full River experience.

Which actually involved kicking Hadrian and Seven out, but River would never go for it, not now.

So I settled for tasting every corner of his mouth before I roughly let go, ignoring the fact that Hadrian and Seven were now staring at us. River was blushing right to the tips of his ears, his breathing coming out in gasps considering I'd stolen his breath away.

"Gods, you drive me insane," River mumbled against my lips and I grinned, "Behave, for fifteen minutes at the very least. We can continue later." I brightened at that. Continue? To the end? As in, he wasn't going to stop inches from my dick and run away?

Relieved to hell, I just nodded and let him leave, even though there was an ache in my stomach to go running after him and tackle him in the hallway, which I'd already done this week, so I would have to save the unexpected tackles for when he least expected them. Otherwise, what was the fuck in chasing him?

That was a whole other issue to bring up too, I thought grimly as I stared at the blank laptop screen while Three, Hadrian, and Seven all talked around me in muted tones.

River and I hadn't fucked yet.

We'd certainly gotten close. Like, literally so close that my ass was aching and I was ready to climb on top of him and just do all of this myself to get it done and over with. I wasn't sure who was more anxious about the idea of sex, though, River or me. River was probably afraid of hurting me or scaring me, considering he knew the truth now. I, on the other hand, was anxious because I wanted to make sure River had the best experience of his life. I wanted to make that incubus lose his shit. I wanted him to drown in euphoria while he fucked me. I wanted to watch him become an absolute mess. Anything to ruin that pretty rich guy façade of his was a bonus in my book and nothing fucked a guy up more than fucking.

Problem was, I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea what to do to drive him wild. I had no idea how to make another guy come. I had no idea what part of him to touch that he liked. You'd think the solution to this would be masturbation, except there were a few problems with that.

The first problem, I couldn't stick my own finger in my ass. It was hot and uncomfortable and I had no idea what I was doing, even with the links Seven had sent me on how to prepare myself for sex for the first time.

The second problem was that my dick wasn't exactly impressive, and neither was my sac. I wasn't exactly a score in the bedroom department, so I knew I had to work a lot harder to make sure River had a good time. I just wasn't sure where to start.

I'd managed to get his pants down long enough to suck him off the other day, but when it ended, River had scrambled away from me to escape, much to my chagrin. So apparently I wasn't good at sucking dick either.

Which brought me to my third problem. I had no idea how to have proper sex. It took a few hours of talking to Hadrian and Seven to realize that I had no experience in sex, because rape was not sex and it taught me absolutely nothing, except how to make things hurt and traumatizing, and that was the last thing I wanted River to experience. I wanted to watch him go wild for me. I wanted to taste him and be tasted. I wanted it to overwrite any of the garbage I'd experienced in the past. I wanted to close my eyes and see River on top of me, River inside me, River's lips against mine.

So, really, I had two huge problems at the moment.

You know, setting aside the whole apocalypse and the Mother thing.

Oh, and the fact that Hades was still making a big stink about me moving out with River. He was trying to convince us it was much safer to stay at the palace where we could all stand together if we were attacked, and while I got that, I also valued my fucking privacy and the ability to do what I want without someone climbing up my ass about it.

I didn't care if River got mad at me. One little kiss melted him on the spot.

But Hades was a different story and he was most certainly not getting a kiss from me any time soon, so fuck me, I guess.

"Wow," Three said suddenly, snapping me out of my thought process and I turned my head to glare at him as he appeared at my side to stare at the document that now consisted of repeated gibberish, "That looks meaningful. What does wbbgyj mean? Is it Korean?" I narrowed my eyes, then whacked my head against his and he groaned, slumping to the floor. My head throbbed and I gave my forehead a little rub as Hadrian looked down at him with his arms folded over his chest.

"You set yourself up for that one," Hadrian told him and Three grumbled something incoherent under his breath, "Four, how about you start by just telling us how you feel about River?" I stared at him, then looked at Seven, who raised an eyebrow. I looked down at Three, who glared up at me, before I looked at Hadrian.

"That's kinda too gay for me, sorry," I said, turning back to my laptop.

"Having feeling isn't what makes you gay," Hadrian deadpanned.

"Yeah, it's liking dick in your ass," Three mumbled, rising to his feet and I stared at him.

"So, you?" I asked. Three flushed and went to slam my laptop shut on my fingers, but I rolled out of the way to the other side of the bed and stuck my tongue out, which made Three crack his knuckles as he knelt onto the bed, clearly ready to throw down.

"No," Hadrian ordered, taking Three by the shoulder and Three scowled, "He's already going to have a bruise on his forehead. The last thing we need is him showing up to his wedding black and blue and having to explain to his husband and his parents that you beat his ass before the wedding."

"I fail to see where the issue is," Three drawled, reaching for me again, but I smacked his hand away and flashed him the finger, which he went to grab, but I took my hand back quickly.

"The issue," Hadrian said, reaching for Three again to pull him back, "Is that while Hades may have saved you and given you a better life, and he may even be our grandfather, but he's Four's father, which means Four is on the no touching list." Three curled his lip and looked at me and I just smiled, resting my chin in my hand and wiggling my other fingers at him in a wave.

"How come he gets to do what he wants because his father is Hades? My dad is literally Death," Three added, glaring at Hadrian, who stared at him.

"Yes, which is another problem we don't want to investigate, now do we? So let us be on our best behavior as we provide Four with everything he needs to live happily ever after with his husband, alright? That means no punching, no kicking, no hitting, no headbutting, no weapons, and no violence," Hadrian explained, ticking everything off on his finger. Three scowled and I frowned.

"Wow, that sounds boring," I said, making Hadrian sigh, "See, marriages were fun back at the compound." Three made a gagging sound.

"Fun? No, thanks," he muttered, "I hated the marriages at the compound." I rolled my eyes.

"You only say that because you were too much of a baby to fight your own husband."

"Wow, yeah, I'm such a bad guy cuz I didn't want to beat up my husband?"

"Didn't you beat him up anyway?"

"Hadrian, I know you said no violence, but come on. Just one punch to the face. I might be able to shut him up for just a few minutes."

"Sorry, sweetie, it's not worth the wars it'll start if either one of you shows up with boo-boos," Hadrian replied, then looked up when there was a knock on the door, "That should be Six." He went to answer it and Three watched him go for a moment, having turned slightly to the side to watch him go.

"Come on," Seven said, leaning over to take my laptop from me while I scowled at him for it, "Let's take this a little more seriously. I'll write down everything you say and from there, we can pick out what sounds the best. So, tell me how you and River even met. I don't think we even know the story." I frowned, glancing at the door where Hadrian was welcoming Six in with a kiss on both his cheeks that made him blush. He peered up at Hadrian coyly, like he wanted to play games-- and by games I don't mean monopoly. I looked over at Three, who awkwardly lowered himself down on the bed, like he had something up his ass. I raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't say anything.

Something told me asking Three about the dildo he was obviously hiding would probably lead to one of those wars Hadrian mentioned, and while I was all about fighting, I wasn't really in the mood to fight over a butt plug.

"We met at the palace," I told Seven absentmindedly, "Told us they wanted River to marry me and I thought it was the funniest shit in the world. Me. Married. To a guy like River." Seven raised an eyebrow.

"What's wrong with that?" Seven asked. I looked at him.

"Have you seen River? The guy is sex on legs almost literally, plus he's always dressed snazzy and dapper and he's always polite and he's smart and he knows just what to say to get things moving in the right direction," I said, then paused to laugh a little, "And he's fucking funny and not even, like, on purpose. He's just funny without meaning to be. He's cute when he's embarrassed too, and I don't even have to try that hard to embarrass him. All I did was shake his great aunt's hand at a meeting the other day and he was horrified for the rest of the day."

"Shaking his great aunt's hand?" Seven asked dryly. I nodded, smirking at the memory.

"Apparently you're supposed to, like, get down on one knee and kiss her ring finger or something, but how was I supposed to know that? Also, I'm a prince, I ain't bowin' to anyone, even a nice old lady."

"Wow, no wonder he was embarrassed."

"Oh, that wasn't even the best part."

"I feel so sorry for River at this point," Seven snorted and started typing something on my laptop, making me scowl, "I'm going to squeeze in an apology."

"Oh yeah right, like he'll believe I wrote that," I retorted, making Seven sigh.

"Yeah, you're right. I guess it is supposed to be your words, not mine, but you better learn to apologize better," he said, making me roll my eyes, "You're lucky I know the way your mind works, otherwise, I wouldn't have accepted your apology." I cocked my head.

"Yeah, but I really meant that," I said, making Seven frown and glance at me, "I am sorry for being a dick to you."

"You mean now or before?"

"Mmm, no, before. My dickishness now is required to weed out the assholes."

"Ugh, maybe I don't know how your mind works," Seven scoffed, "One second you're really sweet and sincere and in the next second, you're talking about your fucking balls."

"Okay, but the balls convo is important because I don't want River to think I'm incapable of having sex," I said, making Seven frown, "He's already seen me naked, but he probably thinks my dick doesn't work or some shit. And for the record, have you ever heard anyone make fun of my dick before?" Seven opened his mouth, then closed it as he considered it, then frowned.

"No, surprisingly. All the shit people said about you and the dick thing wasn't even mentioned."

"Because I'm too busy making fun of myself for it. It's hard to make fun of someone for something if they're already doing it themselves."

"I guess. But it's not your fault."

"No," I admitted with a shrug, "But there's no reverse genital surgery to make me bigger or even normal sized. Trust me, I already asked Hades."

"He can build entire people, but he can't fix your dick?" Seven asked incredulously.

"Why do I always have to walk in on the weirdest conversations?" Six demanded as he sat on the end of the bed with a bottle of beer Three had given him when he approached.

"Because there is no such thing as a normal conversation with this one," Seven said, gesturing to me and I shrugged as Six handed me a beer that Three had handed him. I took it with a nod, bit the cap off with my fangs, and knocked it back. It wasn't that tasty, but I could at least taste the alcohol in it, so I knew I wasn't getting ripped off.

"Doesn't sound related to vows, though," Six said, "You want to write something romantic, don't you? Something that makes River feel special to you." I frowned.

"He is special to me."

"Yes, but does he know that?"

"I sure fuckin' hope so. I don't know how any clearer I can be."

"Sometimes people need to just hear it," Hadrian said patiently, "Clearly and without fear. Tell River how you feel about him in the most honest and raw way possible. Without any pretty words or influence, tell us how you feel about River." I frowned, looking at their expectant faces, then down at the beer in my hand.

"I feel... like I can't breathe without him. Even when he's not here, I'm still thinking about him. At night, sometimes I wake up from a nightmare and I'm, like, panicked, but when I see River sleeping next to me, I immediately relax, cuz it's like, oh, River's here, so everything is going to be okay. Seeing River makes me feel like everything is going to be okay, and it always is. Yeah, sure, we got the issue of his clan still questioning his ability to lead them and whether or not our relationship is going to last considering I'm the fucking mutant angel hybrid that's supposed to bring about some major apocalypse, but even with all that shit hanging over us, as long as River stays beside me, I think everything is going to be okay. He makes me feel safe. He makes me feel okay... No, more like he makes me feel happy, I guess? That feeling you get in your chest like there's a balloon blowing up inside you, but it's not like a bad feeling. It's... excitement. Like, I'm ready to face anything. He makes me feel ready to take on the Mother and the angels and whoever the fuck else threatens our existence."

"I feel like a person," I muttered, averting my eyes, "Instead of a thing. Working for the Mother, I always felt like a thing. An object. A possession. She was my owner and I was her attack dog. What I felt, what I did, none of it mattered, as long as I did what she said, that was the whole meaning of life. But then I got out here and there's a whole lot more to life than just listening to your master all the time. In fact, I started to learn that I wasn't a thing. I wasn't an attack dog. I was a person. I started to realize I liked different things. I like cooking. I like eating. I like drinking. I still like exercising, yeah, but I don't like being alone in the gym. I go get River... or one of my brothers or Blaine, or someone to just enjoy being with. It's usually River, though. Because he's the first person I think of when I have an idea or want to do something. I want to do it with River, because I want to experience all of my firsts with River. My first meal that I made myself. My first kiss. My first time going for a run in town on my own. My first time making love. I want all of that with River."

"I don't know what love is," I admitted with a shrug, "I don't know anything about that mushy gooey shit and I don't know any pretty words to tell River how I'm feeling. But I know what I feel and I know that what I feel has to be love. Because I've never felt this before. I've never felt so safe and secure and... cared for in my whole life. I wake up in the morning in his arms. I fall asleep in his arms. I can't think of any place better."

I let the words I'd spoken out loud sink in, because it was so weird to say all of that stuff out loud, but in the end, it was all true.

River was the love of my life.

There were just no other words to describe it.

River was my everything. My heart and my soul, my strength, my reassurance, my savior, my best friend, my polar opposite yet somehow exactly like me at the core.

"Jesus Christ," Three said, making us all look at him to see him staring at me, "You got it bad, kid."

"You're literally three years older than me, shut the fuck up with that "kid" bullshit. I already have to hear Hades call me kid," I growled, balling up my fist.

"Don't ruin it," Hadrian scolded, whacking Three in the chest and Three grunted, pouting as he rubbed his chest while Six shook his head at him, "Four, that was beautifully put. You don't need fancy words when you're expressing your rawest self. I'm very proud of you for being confident in how you feel. Seven, please tell me you got that." We looked at Seven, who was typing faster than I'd ever seen anyone type.

"Holy fuck, did you go to computer school?" I demanded as he finished. He looked up.

"Huh? Oh, no, I just play a lot of video games."

"Video games?" I asked. Seven's eyes sparkled.

"Wanna play Mario Kart?" He asked.

"Who?"

"I'll get the Nintendo," Three sighed, heaving himself up off the bed and heading to one of the backpacks on the sofa.

"What the fuck? Are you guys moving in?" I demanded, scooting to the edge of the bed while Seven finished up what he was adding to the vows before he shut the laptop and moved it aside.

"Oh, no," Hadrian said as Three set up his gaming console at the TV, "This is what we're calling your bachelor party."

"My who party?" I asked.

"It's a party that the newlyweds have before they get married," Hadrian explained, but Three cut him off by jumping up excitedly.

"Oh fuck yeah! I saw a lot of them on TV. Basically, you're supposed to get super fucked up," Three told me as he handed me a controller and another beer, "And do a lot of things you regret and might cause drama for the wedding, but like, it's supposed to. The weddings I saw on TV always have something go wrong."

"That's not comforting," I muttered, looking down at the controller in my hand in confusion as I flipped it around to try and find how you held it.

"He's being dramatic," Six said, flipping the controller around in my hand and showing me where to put my fingers, "Anyway, no, bachelor parties are supposed to get you excited for the wedding, so just do whatever you find fun, Four. Don't let Three stir your shit up."

"Oh, trust me," Three said with a chuckle as he took a seat on the sofa, "I have other ways of doing that." I rolled my eyes, but came over and sat down as everyone converged on the sofas as we sat around and played the video games Three bought.

And I realized I found a new favorite hobby.

Video games were fuckin' amazing.

It combined all the violence and horror of battle, but in the safety of my room and without actually killing anyone. It was fun to get all that aggression out on the NPCs, as Three called them.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I cursed as I turned my controller in hopes that it would help me pass Three, but that fucker zoomed right past me on the track as Princess Peach, whoever that was.

"Maybe you should choose a different character," Seven said as we finished the round.

"Does that make a difference?" I asked dryly, scrolling through the characters.

"Sure it does," Three said and everyone looked at him, "Yeah, Princess Peach is fuckin' fire. Y'all can fuck off with your twinky dinky boys and roided monkey. Princess Peach is not only adorable as shit, but she can mow you fuckers down any day of the week."

"How the fuck is a Villager from Animal Crossing twinky dinky?" Six demanded.

"He's a twink, just like Link."

"I can't argue with him on that one," I muttered as I landed on Link and scrolled through his various outfits, "Hm, I dunno, though. Something about him speaks to me."

"Must be the twink senses tingling," Three mused, making me glare at him, "What? Come on. Feisty white boy with pretty blonde hair and blue eyes? And you're what? A hundred twenty pounds of solid spite?"

"I'm a hundred and seventy pounds now, you knuckle dragging Neanderthal," I replied, making Three scowl, "And you know what? At least you've finally accepted who you really are, Three."

"What? Pure awesome?"

"No, a little girl in a pretty dress and a princess crown," I said, gesturing to his chosen character. Three tossed his controller to the sofa and reached for me, but I laughed and ducked out of the way as Six pulled him back and Hadrian put his leg up to block Three from going any further. Seven just watched while he ate a handful of popcorn.

"Come on," Three complained, slumped over Hadrian's leg while Six patted him on the back, "Just one suckerpunch to the nose. I know you're all wanting to do the same thing."

"I already did," Seven replied, eating another handful of popcorn.

"Ugh," I muttered in remembrance, rubbing my nose at the phantom pain there. Three considered that, then gave up on the battle to open a bag of something that smelled horrible.

"Ew, what the fuck is that?" I asked with a grimace and Three turned the bag upside down so a bunch of little buds of some kind of plant came out on the table.

"Oh my god, you didn't," Six said, glaring at Three, who looked at him innocently.

"What? Stanton smokes this shit all the time and he seems to have a lot of fun when he does," he exclaimed defensively, "He said it won't kill you."

"So because it doesn't kill you, it's safe?" Six asked dryly.

"Hm? No, there's not enough to kill us here anyway," Three said, then paused to frown, "Uh, I think this is what? An ounce?"

"An ounce of what?" I demanded.

"Weed," Three said impatiently and when I stared at him blankly, he rolled his eyes, "Marijuana. Mary Jane. Pot. The Ganja. Hash. Grass."

"We're going to smoke grass?" I asked, finding it hard to believe that that shit would do anything, aside from make you smell like a lawn mower, but of course, that only made Three groan.

"Look, I've seen Stanton do this before," he said, taking out a little black box and popping it open to reveal some kind of small rolling device and a pile of thin papers, "It's called rolling a joint."

"I thought we were smoking grass."

"It is, but a joint is what they call a marijuana cigarette. Thing."

"Does it smell like that the whole time we smoke it?" I asked, scooting forward with interest as I watched Three struggle to thread the paper into the roller.

"Of course," Three said, pausing to stick his tongue out thoughtfully as he threaded the paper, then moved onto the plant buds, which he proceeded to put in some kind of spice grinder, "So, we gotta get it all ground up so it fits in the paper. Stanton likes to roll his in kief, but I don't like the way that shit smells. Weed alone stinks, but that kief stuff is rough, so we're just gonna do the bud."

"Where does Stanton get this stuff?" I asked, picking up one of the buds. It was kind of sticky and covered in crystals.

"He grows it in the basement," Three told me as he sprinkled some of the sticky ground up bud in the paper, "He's super picky about how he grows it too. It's gotta have a certain amount of light and water and temperatures and all kinds of shit."

"Where did you get it?" I asked. Three looked at me.

"This is all Stanton's shit."

"So, what, he let you borrow it?" I asked. Everyone looked at Three, who stared back at me for a second, then smiled.

"Sure, yeah, he let me borrow it. If that makes you feel better."

"Oh, for god's sake, Three," Six groaned, "If Stanton finds out you stole his stash--"

"What's he gonna do? Ground me? I live in Styx and he lives in Portius. I have my own house and my own bank accounts and--"

"Oh, so you're planning to pay him back?" I asked. Three looked at me.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

"Wow, you're really good at the whole criminal thing," I said, making him roll his eyes, "Did you walk in, grab that off his desk, and say see you after midnight, pops?" Three snorted.

"Stanton doesn't have a desk. He doesn't even have an office. He's Death."

"You stole weed from Death," Seven accused, making me glance at him and he looked at the bottle of beer in his hand, "Hm. I thought one bottle would be fine."

"Your tolerance is garbage," I told him, reaching for the bottle, but Seven pulled it out of my grasp, "What happened to never drinking again?"

"It's a bachelor party," Seven exclaimed, "My dad told me they drink all the time at these things."

"And what did he tell you about drinking?" Hadrian asked. Seven stared at him.

"Uh. Keep it to six beers?"

"Is that your first bottle?"

"I lost count."

"Congratulations," I exclaimed, holding up my empty bottle and bumping it against his, "Same here." Seven grinned and bumped his bottle against mine in return before he finished off the bottle. I turned just as Three had finished rolling his joint thing and he twisted the end before pulling out a lighter.

"Okay," Three said, garnering our attention so we were all scooted forward and listening, "Just take one little puff to start with cuz this shit will kill you if you take too much at once the first time."

"I thought it didn't kill you," I said dryly as I took the joint from him.

"I don't mean literally," Three said with an eye roll, "I mean, it's gonna make you cough up a lung."

"That sounds like dying."

"Once again, I was using a figure of speech, you little--" I ignored him and put the joint between my legs and held it out to Three, who scoffed before he lit the lighter and waved it against the end of the joint in my mouth.

"Inhale," Three ordered when it wouldn't catch. I frowned and inhaled at the same time he lit the lighter and immediately I choked and coughed, dropping the joint from my lips and bending over to hack up a lung, almost like Three had promised.

"I told you not to take a big inhale," Three scolded, bending over to pick up the joint, "Come on, take a breath in, kid, big deep breath, come on." I coughed harder while Hadrian thumped the heel of his palm against my back. I managed to catch my breath a moment later, my eyes watering, but when I looked up, my head swam for a moment. I blinked as I tried to focus in on the ceiling overhead and that ugly ass chandelier that seemed even uglier all of a sudden.

The damn thing was gaudy as hell. Nothing more than an upside down birthday cake made entirely of diamond crystals that sparkled and winked in the lights overhead. The only thing connecting the diamond crystals were thin silver wires that also glittering in the lights produced by the bulbs that were hidden behind each crystal.

"Four? You doing okay?" I blinked, realizing my eyes had gone heavy and I had been staring at the chandelier for what felt like ten minutes.

"Huh?" I said, turning to look at Six, who was coughing a little from his inhale. He cleared his throat and patted his chest a little, like he wasn't sure what to do about how he was feeling.

"Wow," Six said slowly, "I am... so fucking hungry all of a sudden."

"Oh yeah," Three said, taking a second puff on his joint, coughing a little before clearing his throat, "It does that. It's called getting the munchies. Stanton has them all the time. He keeps Funyuns and shit on hand. I didn't want to get into his Funyun stash, though, so I picked up some of our own shit from the grocery store. Also, they have these new scanny things at the grocery store so I don't even have to go up to the register, which is great, because the cashier in lane five at the Quik-Mart doesn't like me and I'm pretty sure she was the one who moved the cereal aisle so it was harder for me to find."

"Did you just accuse a cashier of plotting to destroy your grocery runs?" I asked. Three stared at me.

"No, I was just saying. I think the cashier hates me."

"Or she likes you."

"She always glares at me and greets me with good morning, sir."

"That sounds pretty normal to me."

"Yeah, maybe for your ornery ass, but I didn't even do anything to her yet."

"Yet? What was the plan?" I asked incredulously. Three snorted.

"I was gonna invite her to hang out with us sometime," he said, making everyone stare at him now, "What? Is our inner circle too big? But we have like twenty cousins. What's wrong with adding one more?"

"This room is getting crowded," I deadpanned, "Aren't we still waiting on, like, Wren and Daphne May and the others?" Hadrian nodded, looking down at his phone, then pausing to frown.

"Hm. Ah, no, actually," he said, making me scowl, "Daphne May got sucked into work with her dad, so she won't be able to make it to the party, but she'll definitely be at the wedding. Wren said his work called him in abruptly, so he can't come, but Amenti said she's on her way with Keros."

"Keros is coming?" Seven asked, perking up.

"Yeah," Hadrian murmured, studying his screen, "Yeah, he'll be here. Holly said she's grabbing some extra goodies before she shows up at midnight."

"Why so late?" I asked.

"Midnight's kinda early for Holly," Hadrian said dryly. I shrugged, conceding to that. Holly seemed like the type of person who much preferred nightlife over the daytime, which made sense. It was hard to have fun in broad daylight, especially if your fun involved alcohol and debauchery, like Holly's did.

"Okay, we're going to do another round," Three announced loudly, pushing his weed paraphernalia aside, "Four, grab your controller. Six, pass me the joint. I'm about to tear Four to pieces." Six went to hand Three the joint, but I took it from him and took a quick inhale, but I still ended up coughing for a few minutes afterwards, which was joined by Three's coughing as we all sat around the TV and played video games. Amenti and Keros showed up to join and finally at midnight, Holly was on a controller too as she balanced a joint between her lips and a bottle of beer on her knee.

"Oh, I'm going to fucking end you, Three," Holly growled, "How the fuck are you so good at this game?! You just learned about it a month ago!"

"I have great hand-to-eye coordination," Three said as he swung around a curve and barreled toward the finish line, "Some call me the Wizard--"

"Nobody calls him that," Six said.

"Some call me Speedy McSpeedster."

"Or that."

"Or Three the Great."

"Definitely not that one."

"Fuck off," Three snapped at Six, who grinned, "Oh, almost there, almost--"

"Nyoom," I shouted as I shot past Three, who made a strangled noise of disbelief, "Eat my dust, Speedy McSpeedster, or do they call you that because you finish so fast?" I looked at Three, who tossed his controller at Holly, who dropped hers to catch Three's. Three himself went to climb over the table at me, but I grinned and rolled out of the way, shooting to my feet as everyone wrestled to keep Three on the sofa without falling off considering he was now what they called cross-faded, or basically when you drank too much and smoked too much.

I looked down at my phone as I stepped back from the group and saw that River had sent me a text. I immediately broke off and went to the bathroom and shut the door, smiling as I looked down at the text.

Hello, Four, I just wanted to check in and make sure you were having a good time. Just please do not burn the palace down. We have Hades right where we want him in terms of this marriage and the last thing I need is to make my case again. So have fun, but just be safe.

I grinned and hit the dial button before holding the phone to my ear.

"Oh, Four, I wasn't expecting you to--"

"Hey, River," I whispered, moving away from the door and walking over to the shower case to step inside and close the door, "Guess where I'm at?"

"Uh, it had better be the palace."

"Hm? Oh yeah, yeah, I'm at the palace still, but guess where?"

"Uh, given the echo, perhaps the bathroom?"

"You're so smart!"

"And you're so drunk," River sighed, but he chuckled, "At least you're having fun."

"Nah, not really," I said.

"Why not?" River asked, sounding seriously concerned and I smiled at that as I stepped back against the wall and slid down until I was sitting on the floor of the shower.

"I mean, it's fun. Never thought I'd have fun with those losers, but it's fun, it's just not..."

"Not what?"

"Fun without you," I grumbled, "How come you don't want to be here for the party? You're getting married too."

"I know... But I want to give you the opportunity to catch up and have fun with your friends."

"They're not my friends."

"Sure sounds like it when you talk about them, when you're with them," River pointed out. I raised an eyebrow.

"Ooh, are we jealous?" I asked. River chuckled.

"Maybe just a little, but only because they get to spend all night with you and I have to spend all night with the Windstorm clan," he said, making me groan.

"Why? I thought you were just looking at some documents."

"I was, but the Windstorm clan has its own traditions before a wedding."

"Hopefully they're not fucking weird, like drowning babies."

"It's not, and don't worry, we'll work on that when the time comes."

"Like asking them to not drown babies?"

"Yeah, something along those lines. Anyway, why are you wasting time talking to me? Go have fun with your friends," River encouraged, but I shook my head, even though he couldn't see me.

"I don't wanna. I wanna crawl into bed with you," I said. There was a short pause before River spoke softly.

"You took the words out of my mouth," he murmured. I smiled.

"I wanna sleep with you."

"Myself as well."

"No," I mumbled, "No, I don't mean, like, literally sleep with you, River." There was a longer pause this time, like River was trying to think of a response, and I smiled.

"I wanna get into bed with you," I continued with a sigh, brushing my hand against my chest as I pictured River climbing into bed so he was up against me, "I wanna feel your hands on me."

"Four, I--"

"Shut up," I added, making him groan, "I want to wrap my lips around your cock--"

"Oh my god, you are definitely drunk."

"I want to feel you inside me," I went on, listening to River groan again and I brushed my hand down my chest towards my groin, "Your cock is so big, River, do you think it'll fit inside me?"

"Uhh, mmhmm--"

"It barely fits inside my mouth. You might have to stretch me a lot. I don't know how to do that."

"O-Oh? Oh, no, of-of course, I can do whatever you want--"

"Yes," I breathed, reaching down the front of my pants and finding my cock with little effort, rubbing the top of my thumb down on the tender tip of me, "Yes, please." The silence that followed was filled with River's breath and mine. I had no idea where it had come from, how it had gotten to this point, but at some point, we were both touching ourselves, and I could tell in the way River's voice hitched.

"I hope you're somewhere private," I panted, working my hand up and down myself.

"I hope you are too," River answered breathlessly.

"River, I need you."

"I know, I--"

"No, I mean, I really fucking need you, right now," I pleaded, listening to River's breath hitch before coming out in hungry gasps, "I need you to get over here and fuck me until I can't move anymore. Holy shit, River, I need to feel you."

"O-Okay," River managed after a second, "Okay, yes, I'll be there in just a few minutes. Meet me in my room?"

"Yes." I hung up before we could talk about the weirdness of planning to have sex in the middle of a bacholer party, but who the fuck cared? I was up and heading out of the bathroom to the bedroom door.

"Where are you going? Rematch!" Three barked.

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to raincheck on that," I said, opening the bedroom door.

"What? Why?! Are you scared?"

"For once in my life, I am not. I am very, very hungry." I shut the door behind me and ran to River's room.