TW: Panic-Attacks

Virgil found his feet oh so very interesting as he made his way to the amphitheater where he knew his friends would be. Cisco was following suit after him with a small smile on their face that Virgil noticed as he glanced up, "Why're you so happy...?"

"I'm not." Cisco blinked.

"Why are you smiling then...?" Virgil frowned, "I can hardly do that when I'm happy, let alone when I'm not."

"Well, I've decided that frowning is uncomfortable for me so I smile when I'm in the hallways." Cisco nodded.

"Oh...alright."

"Yup."

Virgil dragged his feet along until he saw the nearing amphitheater steps and picked up his pace. However, his pace soon slowed as he saw his friends huddled around in a particularly odd way as they seemed to be fussing around with something.

That something turned out to be Roman, and Virgil found this out when the others caught his eye.

There were a few hushes from Patton and thumbs up from Logan before Virgil soon Roman.

Instantly something changed. But for who?

Roman looked up to see Virgil stop dead in his tracks to see a confused look on his face, the confused look caused by the fact that Roman's hair was done up and he held a ukulele. Roman felt his heart-rate pick up and wanted to back out of the situation at once, he tried to object but knew that everyone was watching. So- he sang.

———

When the final verse was sung Roman could see tears in Virgil's eyes, and he smiled happily as he approached him to ask his final question, however, as soon as Roman took a step forward, Virgil fled.

Roman shook his head in surprise as Virgil left and looked in dismay to both Logan and Patton.

Logan looked absolutely bombarded and Patton looked like someone had just stuck a stake through his heart; which is how Roman felt.

Roman's shoulders sagged before he noticed Cisco.

———

Virgil ran to the nearest trans-gender bathroom there was. He, himself, identified as male, but none of the teachers would ever dare to question a student's identification and the Trans-Gender bathrooms locked. Virgil did feel guilty for using the bathroom this way but wasn't going to have a panic-attack in a multi-stalled bathroom. He simply sank down in the corner of the bathroom and began rocking himself back and forth with small whimpers and shakes of his head. The confusion was back again and he had no idea how to stop it, other than letting his panic-attack run it's course until he either vomited or passed out- or maybe he'd just breath it out, but without anyone to his him he felt helplessly vulnerable.

———
"I'm sorry, I'm sure you're a nice person-"

"If I decide to be, I am."

"Right, now pardon me, but, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Roman threw his hands up into the air.

"Excuse me?" Cisco blinked.

"You don't- you shouldn't- that's not even what asexuality is you ignorant fu-!" sighed sharply, "You can't tell someone that! You can't make decisions for someone-! Let alone an uneducated one!"

"Why not? I'm the core of decisions- and I need only the knowledge of the first result on goo-"

"And I'm the core of creativity! Do you see me policing people on how they use their creative skills!?" Roman huffed our angrily.

"Let's all just, calm down here-" Patton began but Logan grabbed his hand and shook his head for him to not interject.

"Pardon me, but I'll decide what I do, thank you." Cisco frowned.

"Good! Do that! And only that! Stay out of other people's lives." Roman crossed his arms.

"For your information, Virgil is the one who asked for my help." Cisco defended himself.

"You said you two bumped into each other and you decided who he should love- your words exactly." Roman glared.

"Yes, we met by chance, and he was trying to figure out how he identified with his sexuality and wanted my help, so, I decided for him." Cisco shrugged plainly.

"Seriously?" Roman blinked in disbelief.

"Yup, I'm serious."

Roman turned to Patton and Logan, smiling shortly at them holding hands before continuing, "You two stay here with Cisco Ramon over here and I'll go get Virgil."

"Are you sure you're the best candidate? Considering what happened?" Logan cocked his head.

"Considering what happened, I'm the only candidate."

"Well...good luck." Patton gave a weak smile.

"Of course." Roman flashes a smile before bounding off in Virgil's direction.

———

Virgil could feel himself becoming light-headed as his breathing continued to get faster and shallower. He almost felt like he was flying, spinning up, and up, and up, until a firm knock came from the bathroom door.

Virgil was silent for a moment as he spun back down to earth before replying, "S-someone's in here!" He called shyly.

"I know!"

Virgil blinked in surprise as he heard Roman's voice, putting up his gimmick and saying firmly, "Go away, Princey."

"I'd rather not if that's alright."

Virgil shrank down.

"I could go ask for a key, you know. The janitors are quite friendly with those who get to know them." Roman offered, "Or you could open the door."

"Or no, and no." Virgil shrugged.

"Or yes- and done." Roman opened the door.

Virgil tensed up in surprise as Roman shut and locked the door, "I have to hand it to you, you're quick." Virgil tried to stay casual, as if there weren't tear stains on his cheeks, his eyes weren't blood-shot, and his heart-rate was normal.

Roman frowned, sitting down in front of Virgil.

"What do you want?" Virgil mumbled.

"To help...if that's alright with you, that is." Roman smiled genuinely.

"Help with what? I've already decided I'm-"

"Virgil,"

"...What?"

"Can I speak?" Roman blinked.

Virgil was quiet for a moment before he sighed, "Well, you broke in, so go right on ahead..." He muttered.

"Virgil...you can't...you-" Roman took in a breath, "One doesn't simply decide what their sexuality is, not like this that is, you don't...ask another person who you are, you don't ask another person what your name is, so why would you ask them what your sexuality is? You'll know what your sexuality is when you do, all in fine time! And that'll be your discovery, not anyone else's, yours. And, don't choose whatever kind of label that others are giving you...choose...choose the label that you came with, and choose what's best for you." Roman met Virgil's eyes and saw something that he couldn't quite explain, and never would.

Virgil was finding it hard to speak as the tears that blinded his eyes also seemed to mute his voice.

"I...personally...know where I stand, and who I love- I mean, obviously." Roman gave an awakes laugh, "You can always receive help when needed...but this is your journey, I'll...be with you for the moments it gets rough, me, Patton, and Logan, we're all here."

"Roman I-" Virgil didn't say any more, he couldn't, he simply tucked his arms to his chest and let the tears fall, leaning forward.

Roman nodded and scooted forward to embrace Virgil in a hug and murmur comforting words, "It's okay to he undecided, Virgil, it's perfectly normal, I promise."

"I-I don't want- to decide-" Virgil whispered out, his heart sinking at how open he felt, it being an almost sickening feeling as he was the core of anxiety...but also, a comforting feeling as well, "I just- don't...know..."

"It's okay, I promise you that, dear one." Roman assured Virgil.

"...I don't know."

———

BONUS [SPOOF]
Requested/Inspired by: periwinkle_moonlight

Roman tapped Ray on the shoulder.

Ray blinked in confusion and turned his head with a snarl, "What are you thinking, pip-"

Roman shook his head, grabbing Ray by the front of his shirt, he hoisted the other up and threw him out the window, "DONT ever SPEAK to MY Virgil AGAIN!" He shrieked as the other disappeared in the distance.

[END of 'I don't know']