During a trip to the store before they go on vacation, Virgil is sent to get sunscreen by his husband, Roman. However, a pink item catches his eye and reminds him of a darker past.
Warnings: blood, razors, self harm, dark thoughts. Let me know if I missed any.
Pairings: Pre-established Prinxiety
Vent fic, please take.caution if you have dealt with selfharm before. And please, seek help if you are still doing it now. I'm always opening to talking if you need someone to talk to.
Without further ado

Virgil? Could you please go get some more sunscreen?" Roman asked as he pushed the cart through the store. Virgil hummed in agreement. Roman leaned over to press a soft kiss to his husband's face. "I don't want you to get a sunburn while on vacation, love."

Virgil let a rare smile spread across his face. "Thank you for looking out for me, Ro." Roman smiled and pressed a kiss to Virgil's lips before Virgil went off to grab more sunscreen for their trip.

Virgil wandered through the store to the healthcare products aisle, keeping his head down as he walked briskly past other customers. He just wanted to grab the sunscreen and get back to his husband where he would be with someone he could trust. He got to the sunscreen and quickly grabbed a bottle of sunscreen without looking and went to return to his husband when something pink caught his eye.

Virgil froze as thoughts from his past ran through his head along with memories of things long forgotten rushed to the forefront of his mind once more. To say he had forgotten would be a lie. He didn't forget, he had just pushed those certain things to the back of his mind so he could focus on the present and the things that made him happy.

Thoughts and memories swirled around his mind as he was pulled back to a time when his life wasn't so happy and full of such wonderful joy and his marvelous husband.

-----

Virgil grimaced at the harsh lights hanging overhead as he reached forward and grabbed the plastic package that held the product he was after. He walked to the counter to pay, earning a raised eyebrow from the cashier as they glanced at the pink product inside the packaging. He quickly thought up a lie. "My, uh, girlfriend, she needed some for our trip to the beach."

That seemed to do it for the cashier and Virgil almost barked out a laugh. Him? Straight? It was such a ridiculous thought that he almost blew his cover to laugh. "Have a nice day," the cashier calls after Virgil pays and leaves.

Virgil clutched the plastic bag in his hand as he walked home, keeping his shoulders hunched and his hoodie pulled tight around him. Climbing up the stairs to his shared apartment, Virgil quickly unlocked the door and ducked inside. A brief glance around the living room told him his roommate wasn't home. He let out a breath of relief and shut the door, leaning back against it he closed his eyes for a few moments before pushing off the door and walking to his room.

Virgil opened the door and a black streak shot out to wrap around his ankles. He let out a chuckle and bent down to scratch between his cat's ears. "Hey, Salem," Virgil called. Setting down his bag, he picked up his cat and gave him a small hug. "Daddy's gonna get you some cheese. Yeah, imma get ya some cheese. I know you love your cheese."

Virgil grabbed a bag of shredded cheese out of the fridge and sprinkled a small pile on the counter for his cat. He let a small smile on his face as he watched his cat chow down on the cheese before turning back to his previous task. He walked back to his room and scooped up the bag on his way inside. The smile was gone.

Flopping down on his bed, Virgil dumped out the contents of the bag and stared at it for a few moments. Should I? He questioned. He had been feeling a little bit better, if not completely, since his decision to buy the product. He closed his eyes and let out a breath through his nose and went to shove the items away when a sudden buzz caught his attention. Dropping the items back on the bed he picked up his phone and read the caller idea before answering. His aunt, on his dad's side.

"Hey, Aunt Debby."

"Hello, Virgil. How have you been?"

Virgil shrugged despite his aunt being unable to see it. "Eh, it's been decent."

"That's good." The conversation continued until the inevitable. "Do you have a job yet?"

Virgil inwardly groaned. The darkness clouding his mind earlier seeping back into his mind. "No, I haven't."

-----

Virgil fell back onto his bed after the call ended and ran a hand over his face wearily. He was tired. Tired of being such a big disappointment to his family. More so on his dad's side but not the point. He just wanted to make them happy but nothing ever seemed to work. Nothing. It seemed as if as he got older, the more and more he just fell short of their expectations and they no longer seemed to be as kind as he thought before. He shifted and the crinkling of plastic reached his ears. The idea was back.

Virgil sat up and glanced at the package before peaking out into the living room. He was still home alone. He opened the package and pulled out one of the items. Setting the others in a drawer beside his bed, he sat back on his bed and leaned against the headboard. He inspected the item in his hand.

The item was small. Made of hard pink plastic. Its handle was straight before it bent slightly and then a wide rectangle of the plastic. The "head" of the item was covered with a clear plastic cover and behind it, silver sheets gleamed brightly. Overall, the item wasn't really threatening. In all honesty, it was unassuming. If found, it wouldn't raise too many questions. If used carefully, he could easily use his cat as an excuse. Not that Virgil wanted to drag his cat into this, but it was a good enough backup plan if the bracelets somehow failed.

Virgil also wore his hoodie most of the time, along with some brackets on his left wrist. So, it wouldn't raise any eyebrows to be seen wearing bracelets and hoodies. It wouldn't raise any suspicions at least. He had thought it all through. He wasn't gonna let himself be careless.

Virgil removed the cover and positioned the silver over his wrist. He hesitated. He didn't want to leave scars, that would eventually get him caught. Just small scratches that look like they could be a paper cut or made by cat claws. Those would be a lot easier to explain away. Of course, just being on the wrist would be bad but he just had to keep it there until someone noticed and blame it on playing with his cat a bit too rough and then pick random parts on his skin to make the scratches look like they were just random run-ins with a crazy cat.

He pressed down lightly and made a quick swipe across his skin. Pulling the pink item away he looked down and saw just a small spot of red. Barely a scratch. He hesitantly repeated his previous action, only this time he pressed slightly harder. When he removed the item, he noticed a more cat-like scratch that bled just a bit more. Just enough that he would need to get a tissue or something. It burned slightly. Virgil repeated the actions until he had a few catlike scratches on his wrist. Not even enough blood to warrant a bandaid.

Virgil inspected his work. His usually pale wrist had slightly splotchy patches of a reddish pink surrounding each "scratch" and some burned. This could be a way of punishing myself when I do things wrong. He thought to himself. He covered the pink item and set it in his bedside table. Pulling his bracelets on over the scratches, he then pulled the sleeve of his hoodie over top the jewelry. With a firm nod of his head, he went about his usual business. The slight burning of his wrist the only clue as to what he had just done.

------

The punishment system Virgil had set up for himself worked pretty well. There were times when he didn't do it at all for a few days. His skin healed and there was no trace of what he had done. His bracelets made the scratches more irritated but it was worth it to keep everything under wraps. The few times his roommate, Roman, caught sight of the scratches, Virgil was able to easily explain it away. It all worked out. No one knew.

Well, except for one person, and he only knew them online. They had never met in person. And Virgil kinda stopped telling them about it so as to stop bothering them with his ridiculous problems. It wasn't like he had a problem anyway. He didn't have urges to scratch. He could stop anytime he wanted. He hardly did it every day and not even every week. It was proof he was in control.

It was just for punishment. He screwed something up. He scratched. He made someone upset? He scratched. He got upset with someone over something they couldn't help? He scratched. He made someone think they had done something wrong? He scratched. Ate too much when they were running out of food? Scratch. They were just punishments.

It worked out. He would learn to do better.  

-----

Virgil closed his eyes and breathed out through his nose. "Virgil! Come and pick out some candy for the trip!" Roman called. Virgil pushed a small smile onto his face and turned his head to find his husband standing at the end of the aisle.

"Candy!" He exclaimed. Roman laughed as Virgil walked over to join him on their quest for candy. Virgil didn't turn back to look at the razors

This is my cat Patton who I based Virgil's cat on with the love for cheese.