hol·low
/ˈhälō/
adjective

》having a hole or empty space inside《

》the word used to describe hopelessness in its truest form, as if nothing will ever be okay again《

♢

"What in the hell is going on?" You muttered to yourself, throwing open your armoire to see that your riding pants were still there, thankfully. And your things had been brought up while you had taken a short nap. Throwing in your least girly clothes to your suitcase, you were disturbed by a knock at your door.

"Lady Y/N?" Sean's voice resonated through the door easily, he was quite a loud man most of the time.

"Coming!" You walked over to open the door for him. "What time is it, exactly?"

"Just about lunchtime, your family wants to know if you're up to eating with them. I offered to tell you when I came to check up on you."

"I feel fine, fantastic, actually! Are they dining in the dining room, the tea garden, or the balcony?"

"The tea garden, I believe." Sean seemed reluctant to leave, and you turned to him as you sat down to put on your shoes.

"Something wrong?"

He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, clearing his throat before speaking. "Rachel asked your parents if she could be betrothed to me."

You couldn't help but burst out laughing, clutching your sides as tears started forming in your eyes because you were laughing so hard. "You should feel honored, Sean. The most interest she's ever shown in a boy was when she knocked the front teeth out of some snot-nosed prince that tried to kiss her."

The doctor started laughing as well, offering you an arm to help you stand up. "I'll see if I can persuade her against trying to marry you." You promised him, and he thanked you. "Now, come on, I have the distinct feeling that lunch is going to be potatoes and roast."

"Is it because I'm Septican?" Sean mock offense, and you rolled your eyes at his comment.

"No, because it's harvest time for potatoes in Fandomia." You elbowed him in the side, and he grinned.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, My Lady."

"Me too, Sean."

♢

After lunch, which did have potatoes, you declared that you wanted to give Rachel her first dagger lesson.

"Y/N, it's not time yet." Your mother said, but you shook your head.

"She needs to learn, Mother. Who better to teach her than someone who just fought off bandits a week ago?"

"Fine, but wooden ones first."

"Of course, Mother." You kissed her cheek before gesturing for Rachel to come with you.

"Should I get in my riding clothes or something?" Your little sister asked, struggling to keep up with you. "And why are we going to the stables and not the armory?"

"Promise not to tell anyone?" You whispered, pulling her behind a tree. She fervently nodded, so you continued on. "We're gonna go on a secret mission, so you gotta be real quiet about it."

"Where are we going?" She whispered back, looking around suspiciously.

"Fischbach."

The way the kingdom borders were, your lands had a small expanse of land cozied up right behind the Fischbach castle. This was perfect, because you needed to speak with Amy immediately. And before anybody noticed you and your sister were gone, you didn't know if there was a traitor in your palace, and if they were planning something more sinister than a rumor.

You searched for your fastest horse, Tenace. You'd gotten him from your final betrothal before your parents gave up, it was to some noble's son named Felix or something. Didn't work out. Tenace was a sleek, jet black horse with light blue eyes and sturdy muscles underneath his pelt. He whinnied as you threw the tack on him as quick as you could before picking Rachel up to put her on the saddle, then swinging your own leg over.

You clicked your tongue to get him started, and your sister's hair was thankfully in a bun, or else it would have been flying in your face at the pace you were pushing Tenace to keep. The Fischbach-Fandomia border was about a twenty minute horse ride, and you wanted to save time for you to question Amy and get back in a reasonable amount of time.

Rachel turned her head to talk to you, "Sean is nice. I wanna marry him."

Her comment broke the tension building inside your mind, and you snorted, having to hold in your laughter to avoid falling off the speeding horse. "Don't marry every guy that's nice to you, Rach. Besides, Sean picks his nose."

"Ew!" Rachel wrinkled her nose, turning back to her original position.

You chuckled to yourself, tapping your heels to Tenace's flank to get him to speed up a bit more. The pine trees of the Fandomia forests started thinning, giving way to the ancient oaks that preferred the soil of Fischbach, indicating that you were nearing your neighbor. Tenace strode forward, and the thick expanse of leaves blocking your vision gave way to the lofty walls of the Fischbach castle.

You quickly pulled back on the reins to avoid slamming straight into the stone walls. "Wooooaah," you soothed Tenace, one hand holding the reins and the other wrapped firmly around your sister to keep her from falling off.

"Y/N?" A voice called down from above, and you looked up to see Amy leaning out of a window of the castle.

"Amy!" You waved her down as another head popped out the window.

"Lady Y/N?" King Mark seemed confused as well as Amy's head disappeared.

"We'll leave in two minutes, I just need to talk to Amy."

"That's fine." He waved down to you and your sister before retreating back into the room.

You guided Tenace towards the front of the castle, meeting Amy partway there. She seemed to have quickly gotten ready, blonde hair disheveled and shawl wrapped tightly around her shoulders. Leaving your sister atop the horse, you hopped down to approach your friend.

"Y/N, we weren't expecting you." She seemed flustered, and you apologized.

"Sorry Amy, a lot has happened and I really needed to talk to you."

"Oh yeah, of course, come inside."

"Can't spend too much time here." You admitted, staying firmly in your place.

"Okay?"

"Who told you that my father was ill?"

"Like I said, Katya had written back to me informing me of his illness and thus your family couldn't attend." She was confused, looking at you with concern. "What's going on, Y/N?"

Shaking your head, you walked back over to your horse, preparing to get back on. "Thanks, Amy."

"You're welcome." Amy was still bewildered, waving to you as you clicked your tongue for Tenace to take off back towards your own castle. "Don't forget to write back to me!"

"Bye!" Rachel waved to your friend before Tenace went deep into the oaks.

♢

Katya.

Katya.

Katya.

She had written the letter to Amy reporting your father's illness. Why on God's green Earth would she do that? She had nothing to gain from your family not going to the wedding.

"Y/N?" Your mother snapping her fingers lightly in front of your face brought you out of your angry trance.

"Sorry, Mother. Just thinking." You shook your head to clear your thoughts.

"What about?"

You shook your head, you couldn't bother her with this stuff. "When am I to go back to Gizmomia?"

"The day after next." She replied sadly, taking your hand in hers. "I've arranged a surprise for you tonight, my dear."

"What is it?"

"What part of surprise don't you understand, Y/N?" Your mom scoffed, let go of your hands and rolling her eyes.

"Right. Sorry, Mother."

"Go help your sister get ready for dinner, Katya has been busy as of late."

You nodded, standing and kissing your mother on the cheek. "Yes, Mother."

Walking down the familiar halls of your castle, you took deep breaths as you tried to piece everything together. You still weren't sure who the 'she' that had hurt Ethan was. Your best guess was the Queen, but she didn't seem like the type of person to get her hands dirty. On top of that, it was reasonable to assume that Katya was spreading lies about your father's health. Why? Nobody benefitted from that, it only garnered more confusion. What did your father have to do with all of this?

Your visit with Amy may have answered one question, but it brought so many more to light. But you couldn't go back to Fischbach, it was clear that you had interrupted something. And bothering your friend even further with your conspiracy theories and personal issues wasn't something you were keen on doing. One more leave of the grounds in your stay might bring about suspicion, and you weren't sure who you could trust. Other than your sister.

"Rachel?" You called out, knocking on the door.

"Coming!" Her squeals penetrated through the door, and soon it was thrown open by your ecstatic sister.

"Hey pumpkin, Mother asked me to get you ready for dinner."

"I can do it by myself." She huffed, closing the door behind you and dragging you further into the room.

You raised an eyebrow at her disheveled appearance. "You're wearing two different colored shoes and your hair looks like a birds nest, Rach."

Rachel looked down, and finally noticed that she had one white shoe and one purple shoe. Rolling her eyes, she went over to her dresser to switch them out, then sat in front of the mirror and handed you a brush to tackle her hair. You smiled fondly as you recognized it as the one you had given to her when you left for Gizmonia. That was over a month ago now, you realized sadly as you started gently at her ends.

Humming the song that Ethan would sing on the nights you found it difficult to sleep, you continued on through her hair. There was a slight twinge in your heart as you were reminded of Ethan, probably still lying on the bed in the infirmary in pain. His kind eyes, gentle smile, and loving words flooded your senses again, a hollow melancholy filling your body.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" Your sister suddenly piped up, turning to you with concern.

You hadn't even noticed that you'd started crying, the tears rolling down your face as you blinked them away. "Nothing, pumpkin. Now, do you want me to braid your hair?"

"Yes please!"

After finishing with your sister's hair, you stayed in her room for a bit longer before a servant came to fetch you two. Following the elderly man down the halls, you held tightly to Rachel's hand, you weren't sure if you were going to be able to hold her hand when it was this small ever again. Who knew if the Second Queen of Gizmonia would grant you permission to ever visit your kingdom again after your wedding to Leopold.

In the dining room, your father was already seated at the head of the table, with your mother to his right. You sat across from her with your sister, and looked around curiously. "Isn't Dr. McLoughling dining with us?"

"He said he would join us after finishing up a very important letter." Your mother informed you, and you grew curious as to who he as writing to. Maybe the mysterious lover that Robin found so intriguing.

"I'm here!" The loud Septican suddenly burst through the door, clearly out of breath but trying to maintain his composure. "Am I extremely tardy? I apologize."

"You're fine, Dr. McLoughlin, the girls just got here." The King gestured to you and your sister, and then to the seat on your other side.

Sean nodded courteously to your father before sitting beside you at the table "How are you this evening, My Lady Y/N?"

"I'm wonderful, thank you Dr. McLoughlin. How are you?"

"I'm good, I'm good. I spent some time in the gardens here, they are absolutely lovely, many herbs as well as gorgeous flowers." He aimed the compliment at the Queen, and she accepted it graciously.

Dr. McLoughlin clearly knew his way around royalty, probably from growing up around them. You wished that the man (boy) you were to marry could be half as charming. Instead, you were eventually going to wed someone who hasn't yet hit puberty, and hasn't been taught many necessary things for life.

The thought of your arranged marriage brought your spirits down again, but you were just going to have to learn to deal with it. It was to be your reality for the rest of your days. Although, you reckoned that when you were much older yourself, with grey hair and wrinkles along your face, it wouldn't quite matter that your husband was a decade younger than you. That gave you little consolation in the present, however.

With a heavy sigh, you began stabbing your fork into the salad that had been put in front of you. Maybe too harshly, because your mother looked over to you with slight annoyance. You immediately stopped, feeling kind of ashamed that you were acting so sullen. You needed to be happy, for your family's sake.

"So, what are you girls planning on doing tomorrow?" Your father asked, wiping his mouth with his napkin.

"I wanted to give Rachel another dagger lesson, and maybe take Dr. McLoughlin on a tour of the grounds." You said, straightening up in your seat to speak, then turned to your friend. "Unless you have some other plans, Dr. McLoughlin."

"No, that sounds wonderful, My Lady." He nodded, continuing to eat his own food.

It was just the end of dessert, and you were ready to go back to your room and sleep in your old bed again when your mother stopped the conversation. "As I said before, I have a surprise for Y/N."

A knock sounded on the door, and everyone turned to look as your mother stood. "Ah, that must be them."

"Them?" You mouthed to your dad, clearly confused. He gave you a sign to wait, looking smug. He must be in on this too.

Looking back to the door, you watched as your mother opened it to reveal three figures. Immediately, your heart rate shot up when you identified the brunette girl at the front. "Marzia!" You squealed, leaping up to greet your childhood friend.

The kingdom of Pewdonia was the one your kingdom had probably the closest relationship to, and Marzia was the daughter of the king. You two had been good friends all through childhood, but it had been years since you'd last seen her. She hugged you back tightly, and you recognized the blonde man that was with her as well, Lord Felix, of Pewdonia, the last boy your parents ever tried to betrothe you to. That was probably over a decade ago now, you realized as you let go of your friend to curtsy to the man.

"It's good to see you again, Lord Felix."

"It has been far too long, Princess Y/N." He bowed politely to you, and you looked behind them at the next figure.

"Queen Signe?"

A loud clatter sounded from behind you, and your turned in the direction of where it came from. Sean was furiously wiping at the wine he had just spilled, clearly trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

"Hello again, Lady Y/N." The Queen of Wiishunia pulled you into a hug. "I understand that we are not childhood friends like you and Marzia, but I was at Lord Felix and Lady Marzia's castle when your mother invited them. I wanted to come give my friendship as well."

You were grinning non-stop at the kindness and love you were feeling at the moment. "Thank you, Queen Signe."

Your mother pulled Felix aside to discuss something as you led the ladies to the dinner table, and your sister and Sean stood hastily to greet them. Rachel curtsied as well as she could, and the woman gave her encouraging smiles. Sean seemed unable to even look straight at Queen Signe as he bowed to her, voice strained as he gave her his greetings. The Queen had an unreadable expression across her face as she looked at the doctor, offering her own short words of greeting.

"I haven't been here since I was a little girl." Marzia breathed out in awe, looking around your dining room, then smiled down at your sister. "And I haven't seen you since you were just a baby."

"I don't remember you." Rachel crossed her arms, and you rolled your eyes at her behavior.

"Of course you don't, you were a baby." You scoffed, and then she turned to Queen Signe.

"I don't know you either."

"Rachel!" Pinching her ear, you chastised her tone, "that is the Quen of Wiishunia, show more respect!"

She rubbed at her ear as you let her go, then apologized, "Sorry, Queen Signe."

"All is well." The woman smiled graciously.

You looked back over to your mom and Felix, where your dad had joined the conversation as well. "Something's wrong." You breathed, seeing the stressed looks on your parents' faces and the apprehensive one on the Prince's.

"We were supposed to have another accompany us, I believe, however he was unable to come."

"Who?"

"It's a surprise, Y/N." Marzia teased you, and you shook your head, you really did hate surprises sometimes.

"Well, then why couldn't he come?"

Signe answered this question, "I believe it was for medical reasons, he is too unwell to travel at this time."

"Well, I'm so happy that you all were able to visit, this really was a great surprise." You thanked your friends, still watching the interactions between your parents and Felix out of the corner of your eye. "How long are you all staying?"

"We will be departing tomorrow afternoon, I'm afraid."

"Ah, well then you will have to join Dr. McLoughlin on the tour I'm giving around the grounds." You brought your doctor friend back into the conversation, as he had been staring down at his feet for the whole time. Sean didn't react at first until you nudged him expectantly. "You don't mind if Marzia and Queen Signe join us, right?"

"Oh no, by all means, that would be excellent." Sean startled before regaining his formal composure.

"Can I come too?" Rachel joined again, looking up in wonder at your friends.

"Sure, we'll start it after breakfast at the garden patio." You determined as the three that had been in deep conversation joined your group.

"I believe it is Rachel's bedtime." Your mother rested a hand on your little sister's shoulder, and she looked up with reluctance.

"Do I have to?" She whined.

"Yes, now come." Your mom took Rachel's hand in hers, and you leaned down to give her a goodnight kiss. "You all are more than welcome to stay up for as long as you'd like to catch up."

"Thanks. Goodnight, Mother." You kissed her cheek as well, then your father's. "Goodnight, Father."

"Goodnight, my dear." He said before departing with his wife and youngest daughter.

After they had left the room, you turned to your guests. "Would you all like to be shown to your rooms for the night or continue dessert in the sitting area?"

Signe answered your question, clearly holding back her yawn. "I'm quite tired, actually, I apologize."

"Felix and I would like to see our room as well." Marzia said, arm entwined with his.

"Well, follow me then." You gestured for them to join you, then turned back to your friend. "Dr. McLoughlin, are you going to bed as well?"

"In a little while, I think I'd like to relax by the fireplace." He answered, walking to sit down in one of the big armchairs by the fire.

"I'll bring you some tea once I show the others to their rooms."

"Oh, that's not necessary."

You looked at him pointedly for a moment, and he eventually gave a nod of understanding. He was not getting out of this. In the guest wing, you dropped Marzia and Felix off first in a bedroom across the hall from Sean's, and you gave Signe a room one door down from the doctor's.

"So, as I understand, Septica is right by Wiishunia, right?" You queried, and the Queen nodded.

"Yes, Septica is between us and the moutains. On the other side of those are Vinen, of course. The kingdoms haven't had the best relations, but I think the people are finally getting it through their thick skulls that we're neighbors whether we like it or not."

"Oh, that's good." With a laugh, you bid her goodnight before going down to the kitchens to request a tea tray to bring to Sean.

Back in the sitting area off the dining room, you set the tray down on the side table between two big armchairs, and poured Sean a cup, then yourself. Sitting in the chair beside him, you relaxed and slouched back into the plush cushions, kicking off your shoes to criss-cross your legs under your dress. Sean nodded as a thank you, and you both sipped your tea in a comfortable, understanding silence.

After both of your cups were drained, you spoke. "You don't like Queen Signe."

If Sean had anymore tea left, you were sure he would have spit it out in surprise. "Pardon?"

"There's a rivalry between the Speticans and Wiishunians, right? That's why you were so uncomfortable, she's the Queen of Wiishunia."

"Of course. I just hope I didn't come off as rude."

"I don't think so, you were very polite." You said contently, watching the flickering flames in the fireplace. "Just, please try to be friendly on the tour tomorrow. If you try, I'm sure you'll find that you'll quite like Signe, she's a wonderful woman."

Sean gulped, hastily pouring himself another cup. "I will definitely try, My Lady."

"Good, good." You poured yourself another cup as well before dropping a couple of cubes of sugar in the cup, stirring them around in the warm drink.

Taking slow sips, you allowed yourself to just relax, and forget nearly all of your worries. Remembering the times you were truly happy in your life; the first time you learned to ride a horse, when your sister was born, when you got your first daggers, giggling and playing with Marzia as little girls. Then your memories got more laced with heavy emotions, like the first time you ever laid eyes on Ethan, or that day that you had fallen in the creek and intiated your first kiss; the first time he called you 'my love' and you nearly cried because you were so overwhelmed with love for him. Forcing yourself to stop before the dam holding the horrible memeories of his beaten body was broken open, you abruptly stood.

"Goodnight, Sean." You said to your friend, offering him a forced smile. "I'll see you tomorrow. Don't stay up too late."

"I won't. Goodnight, My Lady." He replied, giving you a wave goodbye.

You felt your breath hitch in your throat when Sean called you 'My Lady', because it just made you long for Ethan's gentle voice murmuing 'my love' into your ear as he feathered kisses along your shoulders as you two fell asleep. Taking leave of the room you threw yourself into your pajamas and then into bed, willing sleep to come so badly.

♢

You woke up to chaos.

Screams pierced through the air as you jolted awake fom the deep sleep you were in. It was still pitch black outside as you rubbed your eyes, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. Lighting a candle, you left your bedroom and followed the sound down the hall to your sister's bedroom. Opening the door, you were able to make out the writhing form of your little sister wailing from her bed. You rushed over to her, setting the candle down on her bedside table. When the light shone upon her, you could see that she was sweating profusely, and yet her lips were a pale blue as she continued howling in pain, clutching her stomach as she rolled around.

"Rachel? Rachel, pumpkin, what hurts?" You panicked, trying to get her to calm down.

"All of it!" Her eyes were bloodshot and her tears were mingling with her sweat as she continued her screaming. "Y/N, make it stop!"

You could feel your heart breaking in two at her pleas, you couldn't will it away from her. You didn't know what to do, you were petrified. Your little sister was in obviously excruciating pain, but you couldn't do anything to make it go away. If you could, you would take all her pain and put it on yourself just to ease her struggles, but you couldn't. She was still suffering while you were just being useless.

"Good Lord, Y/N, what's going on?" Your mother asked, then her eyes widened as she snapped awake whn she saw the scene before her. Yelling down the hall, clearly to your father, she said, "Go get the doctor, now!"

Rachel's screaming still hadn't ceased when Sean enter the room, and at this point you were crying yourself, begging and pleading for her to stop screaming, for you to have to endure this and not her. Your sister didn't deserve this.

"Y/N, please leave." Sean said as he came to your sister's bedside.

"No, she's my sister!" You spat, clinging to the sheets as Rachel continued to roll about in pain.

"Y/N! Get out!" Your friend barked sternly, forcefully moving you away from your spot on the floor.

You looked up pitifully at him, and he sighed, helping you up gently. "Let me do my job. In the meantime, be with your parents."

Only able to nod, you sniffled as you shuffled over to where your parents were standing horrified by the door to the bedroom. Casting one more glance at your still screeching sister, you prayed for her to live through this, and closed the door behind you. Sean was right, you needed to leave him alone to do his job.

The minutes felt like milleniums as you busied yourself with everything you could possibly do at nearly three o'clock in the morning. You finally wrote back to Amy, writing a very vague letter about how you were and what was going on, not telling her about how your sister was acting as if possessed, just saying that you were enjoying your visit back with your family.

You found yourself wandering the halls of your castle aimlessly, no goal in sight, just knowing that if you stopped walking, all of the thoughts bubbling up in your mind would crash into you like waves, never ceasing until saltwater filled your lungs and breathing was no longer an option. Eventually you found yourself at a bedroom that had the door propped open, partially illuminated by a candle.

Knowing full well that you shouldn't intrude into someone else's room, you stepped carefully inside, looking around to see whose it was. Recognizing the luggage as the same that Sean had travelled with to Fandomia, you realized that you must have ended up in the guest wing. You were just about to leave when something on the desk caught your eye, an evelope with the blue wax seal of Gizmonia.

Intrigued as to why he was getting mail from them when he had only been away for a day, you tiptoed over to see who had sent the letter. At the bottom was the barely legible signature of Robin. Curious as to what could have been so urgent for the phyician's assistant to write to his mentor about, you picked up the parchment carefully to begin reading:

'I am writing to give you an update on the patient. I'm afraid he has gotten worse. Several of his wounds are infected now, and the herbs that we currently have available aren't enough. The ones we need are deep in the heartlands of Fandomia, but that is too long a journey for me to make with nobody watching the patient. I am awaiting your advice, Doctor.

- Robin'

Your throat seized up as you gripped the letter tightly in your hand. Disbelief rocketed through your system as you tried to process what you just read. The only patient there was Ethan. Ethan was getting more and more sick, and the only thing to cure him was here, in your kingdom. And yet what was in your kingdom wasn't enough to help Rachel. The two people you loved the most were nearing death, and you were utterly useless.

Sinking to the floor, you pulled your knees tightly to your chest and sobbed. You sobbed for Ethan, dying of infection alone in a hospital room while his assailant was free to roam without injury. You sobbed for Rachel, whose illness had come on so suddenly and plagued her with such pain that a little girl should never feel in her life, and surely not at the age of seven.

And most of all you sobbed because there wasn't a damn thing you could to help.