hap·pi·ness
/ˈhapēnəs/

noun

》the state of being happy《

》something that can never truly know until you've been through the unthinkable《

◇

Gizmonia wasn't necessarily a welcome sight to you, making your insides clench and twist anxiously. But nonetheless, you steeled your nerves and held tighter to Fullsun's reins, urging him on quicker. The sounds of Ethan and Katya's horses were close behind you, giving some kind of confidence boost. But not much.

A thought suddenly came to you as you dwelt on your lack of a plan. What the hell were you going to do? Try to blackmail the Queen into letting Ethan take the throne? Have Ethan challenge his father over his exile? You knew that you couldn't possibly ask Ethan to kill his own father, and you weren't sure that he'd even be able to, no matter the circumstances.

Your arrival was frighteningly quiet. No patrols caught you, and the presence of the royal guard was almost nonexistent. It was... eerie to say the least.

The three of you slowed to a stop just at the beginnings of the steps of the castle. Dismounting from your horses, you still felt incredibly uneasy. You motioned to Katya and Ethan that you wanted to go around the castle, and they followed you.

You stopped at the courtyard. The gazebo that you'd had your first meal in Gizmonia at was a few feet away. The weapons shed that had hosted many of your memories was on the outskirts of it.

But at the center of it all, was a spectacle that shook you to your core.

Every member of the royal guard were there, encircling something you couldn't see. They split apart to reveal the King, the Queen, and Leopold. And they seemed to have all been waiting for you.

How exactly they knew you were coming back was beyond you. Maybe they had spies along the border that had spotted you returning and gave word ahead of time.

Leopold looked uncomfortable, in the most formal attire you'd ever seen him in, including the night of Amy's wedding. He looked up at his mother fearfully, and when his pitiful gaze fell to you, it struck you right in the heart. The King was fighting a slouch, his back probably already getting to him as he stood poised with his hand on his sword hilt. He looked so, so tired. And the Queen. The Queen was standing tall, nose upturned as she took in yours and Ethan's appearances. When her gaze landed on Katya, you couldve sworn it faltered for just a moment.

Katya let out a strangled gasp, whispering to herself, "Ellie."

Everything fell together for you, in that moment. The one blackmailing Katya, who was threatening to ruin the Queen's reputation, was the Queen herself. She had manipulated everyone, played them like chess pieces. To what end? Just to get Leopold on the throne? But that still felt... wrong.

"Leopold," the Queen finally spoke, breaking the silence that nobody had dared to touch before. "Draw your sword."

The boy seemed conflicted. You caught his eyes briefly before they flitted over to his brother, who shook his head desperately, telling him not to do it.

"This is not how it goes, Elena," you spoke up, jaw clenched but voice sonorous as it carried across the clearing. "And you know it."

"So you did end up reading that rulebook," she had a scowl on her face as she gestured for her son to stop.

"Ethan," the King's voice was surprisingly strong for how fragile you knew he must be.

Ethan's head snapped up, a nearly wild look in his eyes as he focused on his father, "Yes, Father?"

"You turn twenty-one at midnight. When the moon is in the middle of the sky, you will no longer have a claim to the throne," he explained, still not letting onto how he really felt about the situation. Just stating facts.

Ethan nodded.

"Do you really wish to do this, son?"

"You can step down, Father. You always have another option. That's what you always told me."

"That includes now, my boy. You have another option. You can walk away. I'll absolve both you and Princess Y/N of your crimes against Gizmonia, you can be free of this."

Ethan seemed to genuinely contemplate this for a moment. You reached out to take his hand in yours, quietly offering your support. This wasn't your decision anymore. You would be happy anywhere, under any title, as long as you were with him.

"I can't..." he replied, voice breaking as he did so. "It'll never end. It'll never stop. I know that we'll always be harassed and followed by our past. Whether you order it or not, Father, people will find us. We will keep being hunted."

His watery yet piercing gaze was on the Queen with his final accusation. But he wasn't done yet. Ethan reached into the bag still on your hip, drawing out not his crown, but his mother's.

"Cowardice and fear is not the right way to honor my mother's memory."

"And neither is this, Ethan," the King countered quietly, looking as pained as his son.

"Then step down, Father. Step down, we can make everything right, together. We can live how Mother would have wanted us to-"

"Enough!" The Queen interjected harshly, bringing everyone's attention back to her, her face red with anger.

"Ellie," Katya said her name again, louder this time, projecting it across the gap to her.

The Queen's gaze hardened even further when she looked from your nurse to you. She cocked an eyebrow, "Did you think you could blackmail me back with false accusations that hold no evidence?"

Well, one could only hope.

Katya whimpered from behind you, and you looked back to her with something between apology and concern. It must be difficult, seeing someone you used to love become something so cruel and evil.

You looked again to the rising moon. The others must have seen it too, a grim determination settling over the clearing as Ethan returned his mother's crown to your satchel, and both he and his father drew their swords.

Nobody except those two moved a muscle as they neared each other. There was a sudden streak of movement. It was Leo, who was making a beeline right for you. Your grip on your daggers tightened, your suspicions on high alert. But he paid no mind to it, instead wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in your shirt. He didn't want to watch whatever was about to happen. His sword was on the ground where he had previously been standing, his scabbard now empty.

You holstered a dagger to allow your hand to fall to his back, rubbing it soothingly as the scene continued on. The Queen seemed more pissed off than before. Probably because her own son wouldn't turn to her for comfort. Or maybe because the father and son weren't killing each other yet. Maybe that's what she hoped to happen. Ethan kills the King, then she kills Ethan. Or the King kills Ethan, and he's an easy next target. Or they kill each other. Either way, she ends up as sole ruler, with Leopold being unable to take the throne for another decade or so. And that was only if she died or wanted to give it up.

Ethan took the first swing, narrowly missing his father's side as the older man leapt out of the way. You latched your fingers into Leo's hair, keeping his face against you and scratching his scalp gently. The repetitive motions soothed the both of you, and kept him from looking. He didn't need to see this. He shouldn't have to deal with this any way, shape, or form. And that fact just made you despise the Queen even further. Not only for what she did to Ethan and Amy, but for what she was doing to Leopold as well. Making her own child suffer, physically and emotionally, because of her own lust for power. It made you absolutely sick. But you couldn't stop one thought from overtaking you.

"Leo," you whispered to the boy, angling yourselves so he couldn't see his family. "Tell me... when you had hurt Ethan, did your mother tell you to?"

"Yes," he looked up at you with watery eyes and a trembling lip. "D-Do you hate me, Y/N? Does my brother hate me?"

"Of course not, Leo. We don't hate you at all," you cradled him close to you again, and with your curiosity satiated, looked back to the fight.

Your attention-as well as everybody else's but Leo's-was on the two men dueling.

The king was weak, anybody could see that. Ethan could've had him down in less than a minute, but he didn't. And you knew he wasnt prolonging this for the fun of it. He didn't want to do it, to kill his father.

Deep down, you knew he couldn't. You knew that wasn't who Ethan was.
And that's what you loved him for. You loved him so much, loved his kindness, and his loyalty to his family, no matter how much they wronged him. He could never do the same to them.

They were saying things, as they fought. You could only make out bits and pieces, but it sounded like a continuation of their conversation from earlier. Trying to get the other to back down, saying there were other choices. But they were settled on the path they'd chosen, both knowing that one of theirs would be ending tonight.

The fight was suddenly closer to you, and you took a stumbling step back, yanking Leo with you. He tried to look, but you forced his face back into your clothes. And he let you.

The King made a daring jab at Ethan's chest, which he easily blocked. He knocked the sword out of his father's hand, and it flew away, landing somewhere far out of reach.

The royal guards made no move to intervene, even as the blade of Ethan's sword was firmly against his father's throat. Nobody with respect to the laws of Gizmonia would dare to interrupt this.

Everyone's breath was bated, and the King looked as if he's fully given up. His hair was disheveled, chest heaving with unsteady and heavy breaths, and he was practically leaning his neck forward into the blade. As if he was begging for Ethan to kill him, to end it all.

But he couldn't.

"Y/N?" Ethan called out to you over his shoulder, keeping his blade against his father's neck. "The rulebook... did it say that I had to kill the king, in order to win the challenge?"

You furiously wracked your brain for the phrasing, "No, no. It just said that you had to defeat him. Nobody has to die."

"Oh thank god," Ethan dropped his sword from his father's neck, sheathing it back into his scabbard.

"Cowards!" A shrill screech resounded through the air.

The Queen had moved to that side without anyone noticing, Leopold's sword in her hand.

It all happened so fast, you couldn't even register it in that moment. But the next thing you knew, the Queen was on the ground, sword jutting out of her stomach as red blossomed out from her gut along her previously pristine dress. Leopold's sword was on the grass beside her, the King's discarded one no longer on the ground. Katya was kneeling beside her, grabbing her hand and whispering apology upon apology.

It all hit you at once.

Katya had picked up the King's sword, and killed the Queen. She'd protected Ethan, yourself, the King, and anybody who had ever been hurt by her actions. By killing the one person she loved.

Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed, clutching at the Queen's hand that slowly grew limp in hers. Your hand fell from Leopold's hair, and the boy slowly drew his face out.

You didn't realize he had done so until it was too late. He'd seen his mother.

Leopold rushed to fall to her other side, and you didn't stop him. No matter how badly she treated him, what she made him do, she was still his mother. He had still lost his mother, at only ten years old, and in such a gruesome way that was right on display for him.

You felt like a spectator. Like you were just watching, like you weren't really there. No feelings were being stirred up from within you. It was pure nothing.

Katya had stepped back from the body, stumbling away a little bit before falling back down to the ground.

The King approached his younger son, resting a single hand stop his head, but saying no words as he looked down at his wife's body. His second wife to have died before him.

The royal guards themselves seemed unsure of what to do, a few approaching Katya as if to arrest her, but ultimately did nothing.

Ethan let out a deep and shaking sigh, tripping over his own feet to catapult himself into your arms. You held him tightly, to prove to yourself that he was still here with you, and that you were still here with him. You needed to ground yourself to something, before you floated out of your body and never came back.

He turned you so that you weren't facing the body, cradling you close to his chest. He was mumbling something into your hair, but you didn't process his words at all. Ethan was then wiping at the tears you hadn't realized you'd been crying. Were they tears of sadness? Or of relief?

The two of you were joined by the King, who had an emptiness to his face that you wished you'd never seen on anybody.

"I step down, from the throne," he announced, resting a hand on Ethan's shoulder. And somehow, the King managed to smile, even if it was one laced with pain, "Congratulations, my son, the new King of Gizmonia."

Ethan nodded in acknowledgement, still gripping tight to your arms. The King turned around, ushering Leo to his feet before guiding him back towards the castle. The guards wordlessly began clearing the area.

You couldn't stand to watch as they pulled the sword from her, knowing that it'd be bloody. And that it was her own husband's, too.

Then you remembered Katya, and let go of Ethan to retrieve her. She was dead silent as you helped her up, leading her to the castle like the King had just done with Leopold.

Ethan followed behind you closely, even as you took Katya to a washroom to clean the blood off her hands. She was practically catatonic as you did so. When you asked if she wanted another change of clothes-her current ones had blood-she declined with a shake of her head.

You looked up from your nanny to Ethan, tears brimming in your eyes once again. You couldn't bring yourself to ask the one question burning its way through your veins.

Now what?

◇

It was a happy day. The happiest you'd had in your life so far, you reckoned.

Everything seemed so bright, so perfect. The front lawn of the Gizmonian castle was filled with your friends, neighbors, and family. Ethan's grandmother was in the front row, getting more lucid with each passing day. And your mother was even there too. She was next to you, already dabbing at her eyes as she walked you down the aisle. At the altar, Ethan was already waiting, his father and brother behind him. You stopped in front of Amy, your maid of honor, of course.

Facing Ethan, you couldn't believe this was happening.

On your right hand was your mother's emerald engagement ring, the one that she said would bring you happiness. And the one being put on your left, silver with a deep sapphire, that came from the source of your happiness. Ethan, of course.

He already had his crown on, and your grin only magnified when you saw that it was a little crooked. You held back your urge to fix it, instead leaving your hands in his as he recited his vows.

"I love you, Y/N Y/L/N. From the day we met at that waterfall forever ago... I never forgot you. And I never will. I will never leave you, for Heaven, for Earth, or for Death. Through everything, I promise to continue supporting you and loving you."

You knew that you were going to cry any minute, but fought to keep your voice level as you said your own.

"Ethan Nestor. I love you, more than I could have ever imagined. I'll never forget everything that you have done for me, and I'll never let you go a day without knowing how grateful I am to be in love with you."

The minister said a few more things, but they passed right through you. All you could do was get lost in Ethan's perfectly light, perfectly bright blue eyes that reflected the sky above you so perfectly.

He must have told you to kiss, as Ethan's lips were then pressed against yours, his hands on your hips to bring you even closer. Your arms found a natural spot around his neck, kissing him back with all the overflowing love and adoration that you held for him.

A weight was on your head, cool metal pressing against your warm skin. With your mother having already relinquished the throne to Fandomia a few weeks prior, you were now officially the Queen of Gizmonia, too. Your union with Ethan was also a union between the two kingdoms.

But that and the cheers of everybody were just background noise for the one thought streaming through your head.

I'm happy.

◇

It was a happy day. The happiest you'd ever have in your life, you reckoned.

You were holding your baby in your arms for the first time. Your daughter, your beautiful daughter.

Ethan was sat on the bed beside you, looking down at the two of you with a look of pure awe. Dr. McLoughlin had just left the room, to give the three of you your privacy.

The privacy didn't last long, as the door was suddenly thrown open by a very excited eleven-year-old. Leo seemed about ready to leap onto the bed with you and the baby when Ethan stopped him with a chuckle.

"Gentle, Leo," he warned him, and the boy nodded attentively.

"I just wanna see her!"

You giggled, gesturing the boy to come closer. He peered down at the baby, "She's so small!"

"You were this small once, too," you informed him, your eyes catching on another movement in the doorway.

The King was standing hesitantly at the entrance, and you gave a warm smile to invite him in. He stood between his two sons, looking down fondly at his granddaughter.

"She's beautiful," he commented, large hand coming to gently stroke the dark hair already on her head. "Have you two decided on a name?"

You looked to Ethan with pride, having decided on a name just a few moments prior, in your brief period of quiet. Your chest swelled with pride as you looked back down at your daughter, "Rachel Annie. For my sister, and his mother."