The cellphone vibrates on my desk and I don't cast a glance at it as I furiously type on. My fingers hit the keys as if a hammer hitting a nail but I don't give a damn, partly because it is office property and is already battered and more because I am not in a state to be gentle.

The phone buzzes again as Brendan's name flashes on it.

"Enough!" I bang my fist on the table. The vibrations spread like an earthquake, rattling up all the tables in the line. The ones closest to the epicenter look up, their eyelids drooping with boredom and get back to work. Mr. Mallory of the Accounting department shoots me a sideways glance of pity.

Do I look that bad?

I finally give up, collecting my purse and my phone making my way through the cubicles, to the ladies. The stalls are empty, so I dare a peek at the mirror. I look pale and there are dark circles under my eyes. Holy shit! I quickly draw up my makeup bag to touch up the bags under my eyes when another young girl pushes the door open.

"Whoa! How long has it been since you slept?" she asks, opening the tap at the basin.

"Twelve hou—" I start to say but then realise I've lost track of time. It could easily by twenty four or thirty six.

"I know I have no business in your personal life," she pipes up. "But if it is a man who's hurt you, he isn't good enough for you!"

Who the hell is she to comment anyway?

One of the new trainees — basically kids! Ugh!

The bitter quip is almost on my tongue but I bite it back. I can't let myself be bitter and cold just like the old wives who caught their men cheating.

I even my breath.

Control, Pat!

You can do it.

"I've heard that enough!" I put on my brightest smile.

"Aaah...yeah. But the old lessons are true, anyway. My mum says that," the girl seems shocked. No doubt she has been expecting me lash out.

"Mum! Grow up, kiddo!" I mutter under my breath, moving to one of the stalls.

Now's not a time to talk to people when I'm sleepless and on the edge. But her words keep ringing in my ears. Brendan doesn't deserve me. But what about Jayden? Didn't I deserve him? Was that why he had to be taken away?

I dab a tissue to my eyes before the threatening tears ruin my makeup. I can't afford to break down just yet. Fishing out my phone and scrolling down to the cursed number my fingers work slowly as I proceed to block him.

"Mr. Brendan!" I mumble, blocking him from Facebook too! "You can go the f*ck out of my life!" I close the phone and sigh, swallowing back tears.

Time for a new life, Pat!

My phone rings just at that moment, startling me out from my loo time meditation... I scramble for the phone afraid that Brendan is calling from a different number. But as the words float on the screen, I stare at them in disbelief. Why is Jason calling me? That too after what I've done to him.

"Hi?" my voice comes out as a question, rather than a greeting.

"Hi!" his voice sounds nervous on the other side.

An awkward silence hangs between us.

"So?" I am the first to break the silence.

"Look, I'm bad with this but—" I can almost picture him raking his hands through his hair. "Go on!" I encourage.

"I'm sorry for the other day. I didn't mean to take advantage of you, especially when you are already taken and —"

"Jace." I stop him midway. "I think we should talk about it. We could meet over dinner someday."

"No, we needn't and you should forget the ball thing. It was too much of me to sneak up on you and —"

"Jason!" my stern voice stops his nervous rambling. "I am not angry with you. You did nothing wrong. If I kissed you, I did it because —"

I stop midway.

Why did I kiss him?

I don't know!

"Anyway the ball is on." I hurriedly change the topic. "In fact, I was—"

"Really?" the hope in his voice breaks something in me. Am I playing with his hopes? He honestly doesn't think I'm going to be his girl, does he?

Am I actually ready to move on?

For real?

No! Not now. Not ever.

I steel my heart. No more heart breaks. I've had enough.

"Really, " I confirm to him, "And you know I'm a sloppy dancer. You still need to teach me how to do it properly."

"I'll make you into Princess Patriesse in dancing at least!" I can feel him beaming through the phone.

"Sure," I say, tossing my hair back as I study my face in the mirror. My eyes are glowing. I have never gotten another guy that makes me so happy, but Jason does. All these time with him wasn't actually a farce. He's genuinely funny and he is definitely a good kisser. Wait! Did I say that out loud?

Jeez!

Hold your thoughts, Pat! You just had a breakup.

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