December 25th, 1804

I fell back into the hot bath water.

I was still in shock over the morning's events.

I had to be crazy. Henri and I had barely known each other for a week. Even in high society that had to be odd.

I let my hair get wet and stringy.

I wished that I could speak to my papa about it. He would know exactly what to say. He'd assure me that everything was okay and that everything would work itself out.

But he wasn't really my father. What would my real father say? Would the King of France approve of Henry Baudin?

I splashed my foot in the water. It was already going cold, even in front of the roaring fireplace.

I sighed and began cleaning off my skin with the bar of soap Diana had left me.

It slipped into the water. I felt around the floor of the tub.

There was a knock at the door.

"Um, I'm indecent," I said, panicking.

"I'll come back later then." Henri.

"I'll be done in five minutes," I promised.

"I'll be in the study," he said. I fished around for the bar of soap. I found it, pulling it quickly out of the water. It slipped through my hands and bounced to the floor. I growled.

I quickly dunked my head under the water, in an effort to clean it. I stepped out of the metal tub and dried myself off. I did my best to dress myself and tie the corset but it was hopeless without assistance. Life was, in a way, easier at the bakery. I opened the door, breathless and hurried downstairs.

I was just about to knock on the study door when I heard a conversation from within.

"You cannot marry a girl you just met," Uncle Desmond said. He sounded much angrier than I had ever heard him before. "Especially not a peasant."

"She's hardly a peasant," Henri said. "She has noble blood."

"She has royal blood, Henri! There is a difference! A very dangerous difference! Besides if she has no dowry, she's worthless to this family," the old man said.

"I understand your position, however-"

"Your father left this family in financial disarray! I will not allow you to do the same!"

"If you have a problem-" Henri said, calmly, "-then I suggest you go."

There was a stunned silence.

"We'll be gone by dinner." Both men spoke with such firm dignity.

"I hate to see you go," Henri said, "but I'm in love with Sophie."

I ran back upstairs. I changed into a simpler dress, one without a corset and threw a black cloak around my neck. I searched for the small coinpurse which held my meager wages from the bakery. I bundled up another dress, another cloak, and the sheet from my bed and carried them back downstairs, using the servant's stairs. They lead into the kitchen which was surprisingly empty. I snatched a loaf of bread and an apple and hurried out the back door.

I had caused the Baudins enough trouble, not to mention my own doubt of Henri's affection for me.

Don't mistake his desperation for affection.

If I returned to the bakery, they would surely find me again. Louis was gone. I was on the run from everyone.

I had to make it to the countryside. I could find a job in a small tavern or another bakery. Whatever it was, I knew I wasn't cut out for nobility.

I made a left, running down the alley, cloak trailing behind me. It was only one, so I lacked the cover of night. I ran for a few minutes, avoiding crowds and major roads. I ended up in front of a church. It was big but I didn't know the name of it.

I never went to church.

I walked in anyways.

The tall ceilings took my breath away first. Then the stained glass.

I would become a nun just to see this everyday.

I sat down in a pew and looked at the building around me. It took me awhile to notice the man in white robes beside me. He spoke as soon as I saw him.

"Can I help you, miss?" He was surprisingly young for a priest.

"I'm just looking," I said.

"Have you ever been to church?"

"Me? No," I said.

"What's your name?"

"Sophie," I said. If I couldn't trust a priest, who could I trust? Everyone around us was engulfed in prayer and holy thoughts; they didn't care about me.

"I'm Father Thomas," he said.

"Hello, Father Thomas," I said, timidly.

"It's an amazing church. Built in the 1600s," he explained. "Took five years."

I nodded.

"Why are you here today, Miss Sophie? Why come to church today?"

"I'm running," I said, my voice catching in my throat. He was most likely expecting me to say "it's Christmas." He looked down at the ring on my finger. I had forgotten it was there.

"Mrs?"

"Goodness, no," I said. I wanted to yank it off my finger and give it to someone who needed the gold more than I did.

"Then what are you running from?"

"Life," I said. "I'm trying to protect someone."

Myself...

The priest was silent.

"I think God led you here," he said. I wiped away a tear.

"Then can God lead me somewhere else?" I asked.

"I think that depends on you," he said. "God gives us choices. He expects us to make the correct ones."

"I'm hopeless," I said.

"Nobody's hopeless, Miss Sophie," the priest said. He stood up and gave me one last empathetic look. "No one."

I looked up at the cross in the front. Jesus hung from it. I didn't want to think about his pain. Or how it compared to my own. I stood and left the church. A man blocked my way in front. I couldn't make out his face in the shadow of the church. But I could see the glint of the knife in his hands.

"If you'll come with me, Miss Sophie."

I couldn't even trust a priest.