Chapter's song: Thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran

ChaPtEr THIRTY-EIGHT _________________________

Love...

"He said that?!" My sister's brown eyes blinked at me. She had a dreamy look in them, too. Clapping her eyes, she added in a softer tone, "Did you guys kiss?"

"No," I answered shyly as my best friend answered for me, "Nope!"

I stared at her. She smiled sheepishly, "I was just looking out for you...besides you weren't that far away and it would be unlikely that he'd kissed you with so much audience."

"He did ask," Ashley pointed out.

"Yeah," Val scratched her chin thoughtful, "but I guess he was just testing the waters, you know?"

"Guys, I'm here, you know?" I raised an eyebrow completely annoyed at the fact that they were talking about me as if I wasn't there. We were all camped out in my room since Val decided to have a sleepover for my birthday. They both turned to look at me.

Ash shrugged, "still, it was so romantic the way he told you he had feelings for you," she placed a palm on her chest smiling.

"It was" Valerie stated in her know-it-all voice, "in a fucked up way."

Ashley glared at her as I burst out laughing. "I think you're right, Val," I shook my head smiling.

Because it was.

He couldn't remember me...yet he had feelings for me...

It was as promising as discouraging at the same time.

My sister rolled her eyes at us, "you guys are so grouchy..."

Val snorted, "Well, that's good, you know? Last week was Peter's and I first month anniversary and he forgot about it. He even gave me a C on my essay." She narrowed her eyes.

"That's what you get for dating your teacher," I raised an eyebrow.

Which was not entirely truth. Peter was the teacher's assistant on Val's summer course. So technically, he wasn't his teacher. Technically. Although the teacher had just introduced himself on the first class and was now in Spain giving out a speech on who knows what.

"It's still hot..." she wriggled her eyebrows slyly, "especially after class. Having sex on-"

"Oh my God, Valerie!" I exclaimed at the same time my sister's eyes widened and she clasped her hands on both ears chanting "I don't want to know! I don't want to know!"

Val burst out laughing.

"I'm off." Ashley got up glaring at my best friend. Her eyes softened as she turned to me, "I think it's really sweet that he has feelings for you."

Val was still laughing as Ashley closed the door. "I was just kidding, you know!" she hiccupped as she sobered up. Rolling her eyes, she muttered "Peter would die before having sex on the faculty's desk." She grabbed a brush and started to run it through her hair. "Your sister is right, you know? It's really sweet what he said. I guess it's not easy on him, either."

Sighing, I laid on bed and stared at the ceiling while touching the small cupcake charm on my new bracelet. "What's not easy? He doesn't even remember!" A sharp pain burst in my stomach. Valerie had thrown the brush at me. "What was that for?"

She had stood up and was looking at me completely exasperated. "Try to imagine what it would be like to wake up and see your life upside down. Plus, you can't remember how it happened." I sighed annoyed at her. "He's trying. Give him some slack," she stated before crawling into bed.

Ignoring her, I pulled the covers and held tighter my pillow. "I hate you," I murmured after a while. She chuckled and snuggled with hers.

She had a point, didn't she?

What if I woke up and my life had literally turned upside down?

How could you solve a puzzle like that?

He'd left the navy. Which was a big thing. That alone would be difficult to understand...add to the equation a new house, dog, etc.

Stupid Valerie.

For the next two days I couldn't stop thinking about it. About him. And I couldn't find the courage to pick up the phone and call him...honestly, what could I possibly say to make things better?

I didn't know what to do with myself.

Still...I couldn't get him out of my mind. Especially since I was taking care of Snickers and that alone reminded me of him. Not that I needed a stupid reminder, anyway.

By Wednesday, I was considering to call him to see how he was doing but he beat me first. It was after noon when my phone ran and his face popped up on the screen. With a racing heart, I answered with a shy, "Hey..."

"Hello! How are you?" without waiting for my answer, he kept on, "I'm calling to ask for your help."

I was already smiling. He seemed somewhat nervous, too. "How can I help you Jason?"

"For starters, I'd like to actually meet my dog." My hand stopped patting the dog's head lying beside me. My cheeks were blushing as he continued, "I'm going home tonight, so if you could drive him later on, I'd appreciate it. And last, but not least..." he cleared his throat, "I still can't drive, which doesn't matter since I don't have a damn car, to begin with," I chuckled at that, "so, can you please come and get me from the hospital? Danielle is busy, so I'm left stranded here."

Danielle was definitely not busy. I mean, the girl had been with him every moment since the accident, so she was definitely available to pick him from the hospital, I was sure of that. Butterflies in my stomach started to flutter since it was pretty obvious that he just wanted to see me and was trying to find excuses for us to meet.

Which was really cute.

"At what time should I pick you up?" I said somewhat breathlessly as my heart rate picked up even higher.

"I'm all cleared up to go, so you know...whenever works for you."

I peeked at the small clock on my phone's screen. Placing the call in speaker, I jumped up from the floor and looked at myself on the mirror. My hair was up on a sleek ponytail and I had on a plaid green blouse with jeans. I could use a bit of makeup, though. Plus I needed to gather everything for Snickers. "Give me an hour and I'll be there."

"Cool." I could totally imagine him smiling with that amazingly boyish smile, "I'll see you later, beautiful." I froze completely. He used to call me like that.

Slowly, I left the phone on my dresser table. Did that mean that he was remembering?

Hope burst within me as a small smile drew on my lips.

I found myself pulling open the hospital's doors on my way in. The thumping on my chest started to race the moment I turned down the hallway where Jason's room was.

I bit my lip as I stood in front of his door. My stomach was making me feel queasy.

DID HE ACTUALLY REMEMBER ME?

I had to hurry, though. I'd ask Tom to drive since he had to take care of Snickers as I helped out Jason. Taking a deep breath, I tried to control the wild thumping of my heart as I knocked on his door.

Grey eyes bored into mine as he opened up. He had a black t-shirt and plain blue denim jeans. His hair was messy and a boyish smile formed on his lips. And for the life of me, he had never looked as handsome as this. "Hi," was all he said.

Butterflies fluttered as I grinned back shyly, "hi."

"I'm all set," he stepped aside to let me pass through. When I did, I was assaulted with this spicy, woodsy scent.

Completely swooning over him, my eyes travelled around the room. He was completely set. The room looked empty at all; a black duffel bag was lying on the bed. I turned around to find him leaning on the door watching me with intense eyes.

I cleared up my throat, "Snickers is waiting for us on the parking lot." He frowned at that, "I asked my bodyguard to take care of him for us."

He pushed himself forward completely unfazed at my words. "Ok, let's go then."

The ride was quiet but in comfortable silence. Jason was holding Snickers. The dog had welcomed him warmly with affectionate signs. I could tell that before we crossed the parking lot he was somewhat wary but Snickers had won him over in no time. His eyes were studying every street, memorizing the way to his house. When we stopped in front of it, Jason looked at me for confirmation. His eyes were shining excitedly and my heart completely melted over him as I smiled at him.

He unlocked the door and stepped aside to let me pass. I didn't know who was more nervous. Me or him.

His eyes scanned the loft in silence for a long moment. I stood awkwardly beside him surreptitiously gauging his reaction. Snickers was pulling his leash as he wanted to be free on his home. He let Snickers go before turning to me. "I don't have pictures."

Confused, my brows furrowed. That was like the last question I'd expected. I never thought more of it other than he didn't like pictures. Or you know, pictures of us.

"You don't like pictures?" I asked in return, my eyes scanning every surface for a non-existent photograph.

He ran a hand through his hair. "I had to get a new phone after the accident and even though I have the same number, I lost everything on it." He breathed out, "and you know, you have this amazing pictures of us and I thought that I'd have them too. In my house."

I sighed. "Well, the thing is, I don't think you liked having reminders of...us..." I shrugged as he frowned at my words, "you sort of wanted to keep everything private, out of the public eye."

His grey eyes bored into me. "That's why we fought, didn't we?"

My shoulders sagged as I leaned on the kitchen counter, "part of it..."

He rubbed his chin before crossing his arms leant on the counter in front of me. He studied me for a moment before bursting out, "what are you so afraid of?"

"Me?"

He smiled lopsidedly as he nodded, "yes, you."

"Why do you say that?"

He raised an eyebrow. "For my girlfriend, you seem keen on walking away from me."

Were we still together?

My lips parted, "I-I was under the impression that I wasn't your girlfriend anymore..."

"Says who?"

I shrugged. "You don't remember about me. The las time I saw you, we fought. And you made it clear that you weren't keen on dating a royal. Or believing in royalty, for that matter."

"I remembered," my breath caught in my chest and my heart skipped a beat. Hope rose within me as he added, "not much, though. Just a glimpse. I saw you on the beach... and you looked different."

I didn't know what to say. My mind was in turmoil as I asked, "different, how?"

He grinned mischievously, "You weren't wearing much." I looked away blushing. He chuckled. "You had no makeup on, your hair was all over the place...and you were laughing so hard," his eyes were far away before he looked at me, "and you never looked more beautiful."

I swallowed hard as I teared up. "Things were different, back then."

"No shit." He shook his head. "What happened to us?"

"Life happened." I shrugged. "We came home and it turned out that I wasn't who you expected to be..." I looked down, "and I'm not sure you were happy, to be honest." I grimaced, "you changed... and then I was literally wiped out from your memories." I tilted my head, "if you weren't happy, then what's the point on trying to push you into something you didn't want?"

Jason eyed me intensely for a moment. "You changed too. It's unfair of you to tell me that I've changed when you're different from the girl I remembered."

Guilt washed over me. He had a point. I wasn't the same Marianne that was free, relaxed and had no obligations while we were in Mexico. But this was the real me. He probably didn't like it, did he?

My stomach plummeted to the ground.

My heart ached as my eyes brimmed with tears. "This is me, Jason. All of me." I shook my head and sighed, "The good, the bad and the worst."

He uncrossed his arms and took a step closer to me, "and I don't want to let you go. The question is, are you willing to have me? The good, bad and worst, too?"

My heart was beating a mile a minute as he slowly stepped closer to me. His hand cupped my chin and his thumb brushed one tear away. "I may be clueless in how my life turned upside down but one thing is certain, I love you and I'm willing to find out why. Will you let me?"

Breathless, I nodded slowly. "I love you too, Jason..."

"That's all that matters," he murmured before brushing his lips onto mine.

We had kissed many times.

Never like this.

His arms wrapped around me as we both poured out our feelings into it.

Longing, hope, passion and tenderness mixed in.

I didn't know how much he had changed or if he had changed at all. He was after all, the same man that I'd fallen in love with.

And just like him, I wanted to find out.

I loved him with all my heart.

And what is love if not accepting one another, right?

________________________________________________________________________________________________

I have mixed feelings about this...

But I feel like this is the most important message of the story...to accept one another.

It's easier said than done.

Trust me.

But that's what true love is about...

There's going to be an epilogue...like really soon...and I'm posting the abstract and maybe first chapter of my new story. Which I don't have a title to. Lol :) It's going to be funny and very different. I'm hoping you'll give it a chance and keep reading my stories.

Thank you all for your every comment and vote. I live for them. I would not be where I am today without them. So, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!

Gabs

PS: This is up for the wattys...so please, vote, commment and share!