ChaPtEr THIRTY-FIVE _________________________

Happy birthday?

Feet padded on the other side of my bedroom's door. Sighing slightly, I cuddled onto my pillow as if I'd been sleeping. As if. Ever since Jason's accident, my nights were longer and sleepless. My only comfort was Snickers sleeping by my feet. I meant comfort in an emotional kind of way since the dog was too large and heavy to be actually comforted by him. But he kept me company and to be honest I'd felt so lonely that I was grateful for having him there.

Especially since Jason woke up.

I grimaced. I hadn't been over to visit him. I honestly didn't know what to do or what to say.

It hurt too much, knowing that he had no clue who I was or what he meant for me.

I shut my eyes as the door moved and a string of light passed through. "Happy birthday to you...!" my family started to sing. Not in unison. Mom had started before Ashley and Dad which brought out a small smile on my face even if I was pretending to be asleep.

Stirring and making a show out of waking up, I turned to my right to find my little sister in her pajama holding a small cupcake with a single candle on top. Her brown eyes glinted happily as she approached me and held the cupcake so I could blow the candle.

My eyes trained on the candle for a moment wondering if it could be magical and solve everything at once. Blinking the tears away, I blew the candle away. Make him remember me...

Mom attacked me with a tight embrace followed by my sister and then my dad. They were all smiles as Ashley ran downstairs to get coffee and more cupcakes for everyone. This was sort of our family's tradition. In every birthday, we would sing happy birthday and eat cupcakes on the birthday person's room. And the earlier, the merrier.

Snickers wasn't too keen on the celebration. Especially since Mom had pretty much shoved him out of my bed and was now laying down on his bed looking at me with puppy eyes. After the coffee and the cupcakes, Ashley brought out a large cardboard box. We didn't usually give out significant presents. They were simple gestures, like a birthday card or a small silver charm. Stuff like that.

Eyeing the box for a moment, I turned to my parents warily. Mom couldn't hide the wide smile beneath her palm. Dad's chocolate eyes were sparkling happily and Ashley was smirking at me. What on earth was there?

Warily, I started to peel the golden wrapping paper. My stomach churned uneasily as I found a yellow envelope stuck to another box. I pulled the envelope away and as I did so, my eyes widened at what I saw. "A telescope?" I asked my father somewhat confused.

He nodded excitedly, "not just a telescope, honey. The telescope. It's one of the most modern home telescopes ever!" he beamed before kneeling beside me and pulling away all the wrapping paper by himself. Mom rolled her eyes and Ashley was trying not to laugh out loud at Dad's excitement. It honestly seemed like he was more excited than me. It was kind of cute, to be honest.

He took out the thing and started to build it without really reading the instructions, when my phone rang. Sighing, I grabbed it and walked outside the hallway because Mom was reading the instructions out loud while my father studiously ignored her.

"Happy birthday, Marianne!" Danielle's voice chirped in. My stomach sank at the sound of her voice. She had called yesterday but I'd ignored the call. I didn't know what to say, really...

"Thank you."

"We've missed you so much! When are you coming by?" Who's we?

I grimaced, "yeah...I've been busy with my birthday party and all..." Yeah right. My stupid birthday had been the least of my worries.

She sighed, "I can imagine. But you know, it would be nice to see you...and I have your birthday present with me, so..."

"I don't think I can manage to go today, Danielle. Sorry."

"Marianne," her voice tone was stern, "you should come. The doctors said this might be temporary but he needs to be in contact with everyone close to him. And you're the one person that has ever been close to him." He doesn't know who I am. "I'm guessing this isn't easy on anyone, especially for you, but you can't give up on him...not now, when he needs you the most."

"He doesn't need me," my voice was barely a whisper but it was filled with bitterness at the same time. Not even half of how I need him...

"Don't give up on him. Not after everything he's been through. You owe him at least that." Her words made my heart sink.

Staring intently at the floor, in a soft voice, I asked, "How is he?"

"His eyesight is better. It's sometimes blurry but the doctor said that it would take some time. He's one hundred percent sure that he'll recover in less than a month."

What about his memories? I thought sourly but wasn't brave enough to ask her. As if she was reading my mind, she added, "We're expecting the same with his memories...he needs you, Marianne, even if he doesn't know it. And I'm pretty sure that you need him as much."

I stayed silent for a moment before closing my eyes and gripping tighter the phone on my right hand. I wasn't sure if I needed to be remembered on the fact that he didn't know who I was. But I did love him and I could at least try it out. "Al right, I'll come by later..." I heard myself say in an unconvinced tone of voice.

"Awesome. I'll see you later, then!"

I pursed my lips as I ended the call. I wanted to see him as much as I didn't.

Surprisingly, as I returned to my room, the fancy telescope was now placed next to my largest window, ready to be used at night. Dad was looking proud of himself as Mom seemed to have been pulling her hair out. Ash was lying on my bed looking at last month's vogue magazine that had been laying on my desktop.

Kissing Dad on the cheek, I thanked him for my present. I did the same with Ashley and Mom and pretty much made them leave my room so I could get a shower and get ready for Jason's hospital visit. It was now or never.

Tired of being driven away, Dad lent me his grey Audi to go to the hospital. The ride was too fast, even though I'd driven extremely slowly, completely dreading what could happen. Should I introduce myself? Or just say hi?

After parking the car, I took a deep breath out. My phone rang as I stepped out of the car. A faint smile played in my lips as I greeted my best friend, "Hey Val..."

"Happy birthday!" she screamed on the top of her lungs. With ringing ears, I pulled the phone away for a moment.

"You've just made me deaf." I hushed my tone as I walked inside the hospital. She giggled at that, making me shake my head. "I'm on the hospital, by the way, so you should try to keep your tone down. I'm pretty sure everyone heard you outside."

"Are you finally paying him a visit? How am I only hearing about this now?" Her tone was softer and she sounded genuinely hurt.

"Danielle called me and well...apparently, I can't say no to her," I frowned. It was true. Pretty much like Jason had a hard time saying no to her.

Valerie chuckled, "ok then. I'll let you go but as soon as you step outside the hospital I want a full-on-detailed report, ok?" I could totally see her with her hands on her hips and a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, sir."

"Good luck," she added gently before hanging up.

Oh. I'm going to need it.

Without really noticing, I had just arrived to the hallway where Danielle had told me he'd been changed into. I swallowed hard as I read the numbers I was passing by. Before I reached his room, the door opened and out came his mom.

Mrs. Lee looked more relaxed and was laughing at something when her eyes met mine. She smiled gently as I stepped closer to her. "Good morin-"I huffed as she engulfed me in a tight embrace.

"Happy birthday, sweet girl!" her eyes glinted happily as she pulled away. "Danielle told me that you were coming by today. She went to the house to take a shower," she grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently, "I'm glad you're here."

"Thank you," I answered shyly.

She looked inside the room before whispering, "Since you're here, could I go down the cafeteria to get something to eat?"

I swallowed hard and smiled briefly, "of course."

She squeezed my hand in response, "I'll come back in a few." She took off and I watched her disappear out of sight as my heart started to thump loudly inside me.

Jason's door was open but I couldn't move my feet to get inside. What was I going to tell him?

Taking a deep breath, I willed my feet to move and finally entered his room. My eyes were trained on the empty bed and I blinked confused. Someone cleared their throat making me jump.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

My heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice tone. Breathing out shakily, I turned around to find him seated on the room's couch. He was wearing black track pants and a grey t-shirt. His head didn't have the large bandage that it used to, in its place was a small patch. His hair was styled messily and I had the sudden urge to run my hands through it. But his eyes...his eyes were staring intently at me.

"Hi," I croaked awkwardly and waved feebly with my right hand.

"Hi," he answered studying me. My breath was caught in my chest and my heart was beating a mile a minute as I looked into those grey eyes. "Wow, this is awkward," he added after a moment later.

Tell me about it.

"Yeah..." I glanced to the side not really knowing what to do.

"Do you want to sit?" he grabbed the couch's handles but I raised my palm to stop him.

"No, it's ok." I bit my lip and looked all around the room.

"So, you and I, huh?" he bobbed his head lightly. I shrugged. "You can sit on my bed, if you don't mind." I nodded shyly and walked up to it as he added, "And you can tell me about...us...while you're at it."

Straight to the point, huh?

My heart was beating in complete overdrive as I sat. Folding my trembling hands in front of me, I glanced at him for a moment. He was still looking at me intently. I averted my eyes.

"Well," I started out after clearing my throat, "we were doing great, actually." I blinked confused at what the hell was I saying, "You were elated at the fact that I'm a royal and you were eager to meet every member of my family..." I nodded, "you loved being photographed by the paparazzi...and such..." I trailed cringing inwardly at my nonsense.

Jason raised an eyebrow. "That bad, huh?"

I left out a shaky breath. I bit my lip before staring at my hands, "you hated the fact that I'm a princess..." I added in a soft murmur.

"I'm sorry." His words surprised me. My head shot up as my heart skipped a beat.

"Huh?"

"Honestly, I sound like a dick." His eyes widened for a fraction of a second. "Oh shit," he shook his head, "fuck." He took a deep breath, "I'm sorry for my smart mouth."

I smiled at that. It was nice to know that I wasn't the only nervous one. "I think we were both dicks, to be honest."

He grinned embarrassed while shaking his head. After a moment of awkward silent, he tilted his head watching me curiously, "did we...?" he gestured with his right hand as I averted my eyes completely flushed.

I heard him chuckle and my cheeks flushed harder.

"Damn," he shook his head, "how can I forget about that?" I bit my lip and swallowed hard. "So I heard we have a dog?"

A sad smile played on my lips. "You have a dog," I pulled out my cellphone, "he's Snicker's." I browsed through my phone's gallery until I found one picture of him. I handed it to him.

He stared at the screen for a full minute. Frowning, he looked at me, "he looks old?"

I laughed. "He's not! He's five years old, but he's not old!"

Jason's grey eyes sparkled amused at my outburst. "I would have never picked an older dog..." he glanced at my screen again before he looked up, "may I?" My stomach churned uneasily as I nodded. "Thank you..." he trailed not really paying attention to me but to my phone's pictures.

We'd taken quite a few selfies and he'd sent me another few with Snickers and me. He looked at my pictures in awe for a long moment. Nervously, I started to bit my nails not really knowing what to do or say.

"It's our dog," he stated confidently before giving me my phone back. His thumb brushed my hand sending a shot of electricity. Shakily, I put away my phone as my heart raced faster.

"Are you-"

"Yes, he's with me right now."

"Thank you," his grey eyes were boring into me, once again. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. "Did you-"he cleared his throat, "do you love me?" My eyes widened as I opened my mouth to answer but no words came out. How could he ask me this? "Did I say it?"

Looking away, I shook my head.

He frowned but kept prodding, "What happened the night of the accident?"

I looked at him. He had leaned on his knees closely watching me. I bit my lip as my stomach twisted. "We fought because..." I furrowed my brows, "you didn't want to go to my birthday dinner at the palace," I shifted my legs clearly uncomfortable, "you sort of insulted my family and you chose your fuck-friend over me." My eyes widened at the last part. I didn't intend to call her friend like that. It sort of slipped. "Sorry," I grimaced.

"So, I wasn't a dick. I was being an asshole," he murmured like taking a mental note to himself.

I cracked up. "Well, I shouldn't have ran away."

He tilted his head, "why did you?"

"I needed some time alone," I shrugged. More like I'd been jealous and disappointed at the same time.

He nodded. "I'm really sorry I don't remember all that," he shook his head, "especially the touchy-kissy part," he joked wriggling his eyebrows. Blushing, I chuckled. "And I'm really sorry for being such an ass..." he added more seriously. "Happy birthday, by the way."

I swallowed hard, "thank you."

"You know? Maybe if you kiss me all my memories will come back?" he asked half-jokingly, half-hopefully.

I pursed my lips, "I'm not sure I'm ready to test that, to be honest."

He sighed and gestured with his hand, "well, you can't blame me for trying..."

A small smile played on my lips when his Mom walked through the door, "is Danielle here yet?" she asked both of us. I shook my head as Jason answered. She frowned for a moment, "maybe I should text her telling that you're here."

I stood up, "there's no need, thank you. I should probably go, anyway."

"So soon?" Mrs. Lee tilted her head.

I grinned at her, "It was nice seeing you both," I said it to her but my eyes were on trained on Jason. "And I'm glad you're doing better."

His eyes were darker as he stood up and raised both arms to hug me, "happy birthday Marianne." I stared at him for a moment too long before swallowing hard and walking towards him. I closed my eyes as his strong arms embraced me for a moment. His usual spicy scent filled my nostrils and I had the urgent need to cry.

I missed him with all my heart and soul. It was like having him near but knowing that we weren't together anymore. It was the most heartbreaking feeling.

With brimming eyes I pulled away not really looking at him. I just couldn't.

My heart was in my throat as I walked out the door.

It was pretty obvious how he affected me. Did I affect him as well?

At least I knew something...he was intrigued by me.

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So, I have no WiFi and using my phone to update this...and it's slow and ugh. But...I'm doing it because I love you guys, so please vote and comment ;) (no pressure there!)

And Brett...I can't seem to have patience to dedicate this chapter or to post a song. The network is too slow...but this is for you miss pushy :) thank you for the shout-out and your lovely messages :)

I'm not going to say when I'll update next. But you know...soon :)

Gabs