Chapter's song: 9 crimes by Damien Rice

ChaPtEr THIRTY-THREE _________________________

Fractured...

My feet bashed against the pavement as I ran away from Jason.

I heard him calling me but his voice made me ran faster. Tears ran down my cheeks as I pushed myself harder. I didn't want to talk to him. I also didn't want to make a scene in front of Tom.

I wanted to be alone. I needed to be alone.

My legs started to cramp from the running and I was completely out of breath as I leaned against a wall in front of a small Italian restaurant. I watched the scene in front of me unfold; a couple was talking animatedly illuminated by candlelight. It was like pouring salt on a wound. I closed my eyes for a moment as my phone started to ring.

Exhausted, I looked at the screen, Jason's face popped in. With trembling hands, I ended the call and shut it down.

What did just happen?

Did we break up?

Was there anything at all?

I thought about everything that we'd been gone through. I loved him. There was no doubt about it.

Did he?

Did he love me?

Was it enough?

Was I enough?

A few droplets fell on my arms. My eyes looked up. It was starting to rain. Bloody awesome.

Running a hand across my face, I crossed the street towards the Italian place I'd been looking at. The bell above the doorframe chimed as I walked in. A couple of heads turned my way. I ignored them. My eyes found the most secluded table across the room. I settled on as a twentyish boy approached me.

"Are you waiting for someone?" his blue eyes assessed me for a moment as I shook my head.

Straightening my blouse, I sighed. "I'm not really hungry...could I just get a coffee please?"

His eyes looked behind me for a moment. "Sure thing. That storm seems nasty, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." You have no idea...

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me. I'm John, by the way."

"Thank you," I played with the spoon already set on my place. As I heard him walk away, I looked surreptitiously at the couple I'd seen by the window. Her pixie cut shook as she laughed at something her boyfriend said. They were both holding hands and looking at each other in a sort of intimate way.

I looked away. My eyes were brimming with tears as John, my waiter, placed a large coffee mug in front of me. He also placed a small bowl with chocolate ice-cream next to it; "You seem like you need it. It's on me, by the way."

Sniffing, I brushed my eyes, "thank you."

"Don't mention it."

I followed him with my eyes as he talked to another table. Always with a smile on his face. It amazed me how strangers could make you feel better by being nice.

Loneliness washed over me. And I swallowed my sorrow in chocolate ice-cream. Tears pooled in my eyes as I thought about it all.

Why was he acting out like that? What brought it out? He'd been so different...

I thought about it hard. The way he acted, the way he looked. The way I'd felt.

Did you hear him out? Asked questions? A little voice sounded in my head. I swallowed hard. I didn't.

I pretty much ran away. After telling him to fuck-off.

Really mature.

Bloody jealous. That's how I felt.

There's always two sides of a story, isn't it? My eyes drifted towards the couple by the window.

What is love if not accepting one another? The good, the bad and the worst...

And I loved Jason. I could give him more time if he needed. It's not like we were going to marry anytime soon...I am still 21 years old. But I wanted to be with him and I wanted to see where this could go. In time.

Sighing, I called John and asked him to call me a cab after paying for the coffee and leaving a large tip.

The rain was still pouring down as I stepped outside the restaurant. After giving the driver my address, the car started to move down the street as I looked outside the window. With a heavy heart, I pulled out my phone and turned it on.

I had several missed calls.

Eight from Jason. Two from my house and one from Danielle. Which was odd. I frowned at her name. Why would had Jason called her? I dialed him right away but I was sent to voice mail. It was past midnight, after all.

The car entered my home's street so it was pointless to call home, anyway. Only there were two police cars parked in front of the main gate. I grimaced.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

The cab stopped and I hurriedly paid the driver. I was so dead. My parents had proved to be prone to overreacting. Damn.

A middle-age officer moved to the right at my sight. I greeted him and entered my house. Both my parents were at the living room talking to another officer. Dad's hair was tousled from running a hand through his hair too much. Mom's green eyes snapped to me. She did look pail.

"Where the hell have you been, Marianne?" Dad blurted out clearly enraged. Mom touched his arm and they both shared a worried look. Without waiting for my response, Dad grabbed the officer's arm and led him outside thanking him for his services.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I got into a fight with Jason and I needed some time alone. I should have called."

She reached out for me with a sad smile on her face. "We know." I frowned at her. My heart started to thump faster as she added softly, "Jason called a few hours ago really worried about you. He told us you were upset and that you'd ran away from his house." She squeezed my hand, "he went out to look for you..."

Apprehension washed over me. Somewhat breathless, I murmured anxiously, "Mom? What happened? You're scaring me."

Mom took a deep breath. She swallowed hard. Her eyes moved behind me. I turned around and my father was walking slowly towards us. His eyes were filled with sorrow.

Oh my God...

I stood up and placed a palm over my mouth. My heart was beating erratically and my skin had formed goose-bumps. "Where's Jason?" my voice was soft and dreadful.

Dad sat beside Mom. They looked at each other and my stomach plummeted to the floor.

"Dad?" I croaked. "Please tell me he's all right," my eyes were brimming with tears.

Mom was teary as she reached out for me. "We don't know for sure."

"He was speeding on the rain and the car's tires slipped..." Dad added in a serious tone, "We just know he's in a serious condition."

Oh dear God.

Please no.

My heart thumped rapidly. My breath caught in my chest. Tears fell down my cheeks as I fell on the floor. Both my parents grabbed my arms as I broke down.

"Honey," Mom whispered as she made soothing circles on my back, "let's hope for the best."

"He's in St.Peter's hospital. We can drive you," Dad's voice was soft.

I nodded. I wiped the tears from my cheeks with the back of my palm, "Let's go."

"Why don't you grab a jacket and we'll be on our way?" Mom's green eyes looked hopeful.

"Mom?" Ashley's voice was heard from the other side of the room.

"Go back to sleep, Ashley. We're taking your sister to the hospital since Jason was in a car crash," Dad said pointedly to my sister. Her brown eyes widened in surprise.

She looked at me for a moment, before adding softly, "I'll get your jacket, Marianne." I nodded as I swallowed a sob, "I'm sorry..." her eyes teared up before she ran to the stairs.

"Why don't you call his sister?" Dad eyed me, "I'm not even sure you can be there."

"I don't care," I shook my head, "I want to be there."

Jason...My love.

I'm so sorry...

"Very well," he bobbed his head and reached out for his coat. Ashley walked down a moment later with a blue jacket for me.

"Thank you," I managed to blur before she held me in a tight embrace.

I cried on her arms for a moment before Mom tapped me on the back, "let's go, sweetie."

"Call me as soon as you know anything!" Ashley called in before we hoped in the car.

The ride to the hospital was silent and awkward. Mom and Dad just looked at each other form time to time, while the tears kept on coming.

I couldn't lose him.

Please God, let him be ok.

He has to be fine.

He has to.

Dad parked the car on the main entrance. I stepped out of the car as fast as I could. Mom was right behind me. We reached the front desk and the attending nurse had to do a double-take to see us all there. "Your majesty, how can we help you?"

In a business-like tone, Dad said "we're looking for Jason Lee. He was brought in a couple of hours ago."

She typed on her computer before nodding warily. "He's in the ICU," her brown eyes turned to my father. "Only family can be there."

Dad sighed as I cried out, "no! I have to be there! Please, I need to see him."

The nurse looked awkward as she added shyly, "I'm sorry, it's the hospital's policies."

I turned to my father as Mom pursed her lips, "For Christ's sake Scott, this is one of those times were you have to use any influences you might have!"

Dad was cornered. He turned to the nurse and gave her a pleading look before adding, "I don't want to have to wake up Dr. Richardson right now. Could we just go ahead to talk to Lee's family?"

The old woman hesitated for a moment before nodding slightly. She gestured with her right hand towards the hallway we had to go to. She didn't have to say it twice. I rushed away as I heard Mom murmur a hurried thank you.

On the third floor, we walked out of the lift. Danielle was humped on the waiting room. She looked exhausted and completely wore down. My heart shattered as I rushed to her. She looked up and immediately stood up with open arms to hug me.

"I'm so sorry!" was the first thing that left my lips as I sobbed on her shoulders. "I'm so, so sorry..."

She swallowed her tears away as she pulled away, "He had a severe head trauma. The doctors had to induce him into a coma for a few days. Mom's with him. We really don't know what's going on, though." She took a deep breath, "it was just so random...and we're just really scared for him..."

Already crying, I nodded softly as she greeted both my parents. Then, she grabbed my hand and led me towards the blue chairs she'd been sitting before.

"But Marianne," her eyes were sincere, "this is no one's fault." She swallowed hard. "No matter what happens," her voice broke, "it's not your fault."

A small whimper left my lips at her words. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

I knew better, though.

If anything...this was entirely my fault.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

*smiles sheepishly*

I wouldn't be me if I didn't make you suffer from time to time.

I love you guys! I do!!!!!! and I'm honestly not sure if this is a cliffhanger or nor. I mean, you guys were absolutely mad at Jason last chapter!

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