Chapter's song: In the arms of an angel by Sarah Maclahan (crying over here...)

ChaPtEr THIRTY-FOUR _________________________

Consciousness...

The distinctive ammonia odor was making me sick. You'd think that after being stationed on the hospital for the last four days, the smell would have somehow grown on me. It hadn't.

Four days where Jason had been kept on a comma. They were going to wake him up today. Or whatever that meant. Apparently, they were going to disconnect his body off the respirators; they were also going to pump up his body with a heavy doses of medicine.

We were all worried about him. I had barely slept or eaten at all. Danielle and his Mom were on the same page. My father had arranged that they both could stay with him on the hospital. Since I was taking care of Snickers, I had to go home to take him out and spend some time with him. And those precious times where I'd been with Snickers had felt like I was with Jason. He adored his dog.

Dr. Richards, the chief doctor, was in charge of Jason's health. I saw him walk through the hallway as I was getting a bottle of water from the vending machine. Hurriedly, I grabbed the bottle and pretty much ran to Jason's room to inform both his Mom and Danielle that the doctor was probably coming this way.

Mrs. Lee's eyes brightened as she heard me. She squeezed my hand reassuringly. I just didn't know who she wanted to reassure, though. Me or her. She looked exhausted but hopeful at the same time. Although there was a glint of worriedness that never left her eyes. No matter how bright she was smiling to her daughter.

Danielle, on the other hand, looked at least three years older. Poor girl. She was devastated and tried to play it cool throughout this time. Yesterday, she'd broken down with me as we had breakfast down in the cafeteria. Apparently, she was trying to be brave for her mother's sake. She was extremely worried, though. Jason was everything to them both. In her words, they had just gotten him back and she wasn't ready to lose him.

I was a complete and utter mess.

My feelings were all over the place.

Especially since Danielle had confessed to me that Jason had just left the Navy. The week before. He hadn't told me anything about it. However, it could explain why he'd been so curt before the accident. I tried to tell myself that it had been his choice and that I had nothing to do with his decision.

I wasn't too sure about it. It felt like he was angry at me. Like he blamed me.

Although I didn't know. And I would have never asked him to do something like that.

It was his choice at the end.

Still...I felt like crap.

Especially since he hadn't told me.

My stomach churned as the doctor reached Jason's room. He was followed by three more doctors and a nurse. His white moustache moved as he spoke to Mrs. Lee.

My mind was in turmoil so I couldn't make out what he was saying. I could only stare at him with wide eyes. Completely panicked.

What was going to happen when Jason wakes up?

Was he going to be mad at me?

Did he actually want me here?

Would he be alright?

"Marianne," Danielle tugged my sleeve, "we need to leave." Swallowing hard, I nodded. The door was closed as we stepped on the hallway. Mrs. Lee had been able to stay. "They said that this was going to take a few hours, so we should go get a coffee or something." I nodded again.

The cafeteria was almost empty. It was still quite early on the morning but Dr. Richards preferred to make his rounds before eight every day. A couple of white robbed doctors were quietly talking on the other side of the room as we settled on one of the tables.

"Mom says that everything will work out. She's trying to stay positive, you know?" she bobbed her head with an almost imperceptible smile on her face.

"Yeah," I murmured softly. Please God, let him be ok.

"He's going to be fine," Danielle pressed on as she passed a palm across her forehead, "I know he is."

"I'm sure he is," I whispered before biting my lip. My heart was racing. My eyes turned to the clock on the right wall. Ten minutes had passed. "Did he say how much time was this going to take?"

She shook her head. "The treatment was supposed to take half an hour at most..." she trailed as her eyes trained on the clock, "but the outcome could take the whole day." She shrugged. "It depends on how's Jason."

I looked at her. Really looked at her. Dark circles had drawn under her eyes, her usually untamed but perfectly styled hair was all over the place, her lips were chapped and her usually radiant eyes were filled with sadness. My hand reached out for hers, "he's going to be ok, Danielle."

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she looked at me. A faint smile played on her face for not more than a second as she nodded. I swallowed hard. My own eyes had teared up and I probably looked as bad as her. But Jason wasn't my brother. I could only imagine how hard it would be to have Ashley on the same situation. My heart sank.

I really didn't know what was worse. To have your sister on the hospital or your boyfriend. At the end of the day, you loved them both...

"Thank you," she murmured after we'd gotten our coffees and were back on the same table. "How are you doing?" her grey eyes turned to me.

I shrugged. "I'm a wreck," I snorted at that. "But it will be better after he wakes up."

"Yes," she nodded before taking a sip of her steamy paper cup.

We didn't talk much after that. We both stayed in silence until the rigorous thirty minutes had passed. We threw away the paper cups on our way out and wordlessly went our way to Jason's room.

His Mom was sat beside him. She was stroking his cheek lovingly as we entered. All the fancy equipment that had been filling the room was gone. They'd only left the heart monitor. Jason's heart thumped steadily like it had been doing since the first moment I'd seen him here. Mrs. Lee's eyes looked up as I closed the door after Danielle. "He can wake up any minute now," she smiled softly. Danielle walked up to her and they both held hands. I stood rooted to my place looking awkwardly at the scene unfold.

My eyes trained on Jason. He looked so peaceful. His head was wrapped with a bandage but other than that he looked like nothing had passed. Like he hadn't been in a coma for the last few days. Like we hadn't fought and I hadn't ran away.

Mrs. Lee moved away from him and gestured for me to sit where she'd been, "Come on, sweetie. I'm sure he'll be glad to see you first."

Shyly, I made my way to the small chair placed next to him. Danielle and her mom stood on the corner talking among themselves as I looked at him again. A small strand of hair was covering his left eye. Very slowly and extremely gently, I tugged the strand away from his eyes. My hand was trembling as I touched him and my heart was thumping unsteadily inside my ribcage. My breath caught in my chest as I had the itch to touch him more. To hold him in my hands and tell him that I loved him. That no matter what happens, we could work it out.

Please. Please dear God, he has to be fine.

Completely transfixed by him I stood by his side for the rest of the morning. My hand had found his and at some point, I had cuddled my head against his arm. After lunch hour, Danielle and her Mom had left to get something from the cafeteria. They were bringing me a salad, too. My eyes were drifting away as I felt someone stirring beside me. My head shot up immediately.

"Jason?" I asked gently as I felt his fingers move. His heart monitor started to speed up.

"Danielle?" his voice was raspy as I stood up and pressed the nurse's call button. "My head hurts..." he groaned softly. My heart was racing as he added somewhat panicked, "Danielle, I can't see," my stomach plummeted to the ground as he started to move his hands in front of him, "it's like everything's foggy. I can't see..."

I grabbed his hand before pressing the bloody red button again, "Hey. It's ok. You're in the hospital, remember?"

His brows furrowed. I noticed that his right pupil was completely dilated and his left pupil looked really small. "You're not Danielle...who are you?"

Completely frozen, I was speechless as the nurse finally walked in. She pushed me to the side as one of the attending doctors walked in to check up his vitals and stuff.

I couldn't move. Someone said something but I just couldn't process their words.

He couldn't see.

And he didn't remember me.

Someone grabbed me by the arm and took me out of the room. My breath was caught in my chest.

He didn't know who I was.

I didn't know that your already broken heart could hurt even more....

Danielle and her Mom appeared on the hallway. They ran to me and they both were asking questions at the same time. I just couldn't utter a single word.

The doctor walked out and called up on Mrs. Lee. They went inside as Danielle prodded me with several questions. My eyes were brimming with tears as I shook my head, "he said he can't see," I whispered softly, "and he didn't know who I was."

Danielle looked worried as she pulled me closer. Without really knowing what was happening, I held on to her as I sobbed. She was crying, too as her Mom walked out of the room. "Oh girls!" she sighed before passing an arm through both our arms. "He's ok. The doctor said that the blurred sight might be temporal. They're going to run a head scan in twenty minutes."

She didn't say anything about his memories.

And I felt worse for just thinking about it. How selfish was I?

Danielle went inside after a while. I couldn't. I didn't know what to do. So I stayed outside waiting for the doctors to take him away to his head scan. Crying all the time.

When they finally arrived. I caught a glimpse of him as they carried him away.

He couldn't see me.

Did it matter?

He didn't know who I was.

Danielle and her mother followed after him. Tears poured down as I took my cell phone out. "Mom?" A soft sob left my lips as I leaned on the wall and let myself slide against it until I reached the floor, "can you pick me up?"

"Marianne! What happened? Is he alright?" she sounded panicked and worried.

I closed my eyes as my chest constricted. "They're running a head scan. He can't see..." I swallowed hard. My voice broke as I added, "and he doesn't remember me, Mom..."

Mom sighed, "Oh honey. I'm already on my way, ok? Hang in there, sweetie..."

A strangled sob left my lips. "Mom?"

"I know, Marianne. I know. We're here for you, hon. I'm sure he'll be well taken care of in the hospital."

I nodded despite the fact that she couldn't see me. I just couldn't stop the tears or the tight feeling of a heavy heart inside of me.

No matter what happens, please God, let him be ok.

Please.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Ok. Please don't hate me?????????!!!! :)

I'll try to update by Tuesday at the most.

Don't forget to vote and comment!! This is up for the Wattys!!!!!!!!!!

OH! And follow me on twitter/IG/FB :)

Love you guys. Even if doesn't feel like it! Ha!

Gabs