I don't have long before work when I start this but I'm going to try.

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Junmyeon's POV

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"Do you think this was a good idea?" I questioned Yixing. He glanced up from his ever present book, marking his place, folding his reading glasses neatly and setting them on the table beside his chair. We were supposed to be soaking in the quiet. The first time in fifteen years with no kids present. But all I could think about was DaeHyun and Li Jie. About how they would ne forced to spend time together during this trip. And not wanting my child to suffer any more than he already had.

No one ever told you the worst part of parenthood. That being watching your children in pain and not being able to take it away, no matter how hard you tried. Any kind of pain, really. Though I would take scraped knees from falling off their bikes to this. This emotional pain. Knowing I'd experienced something similar and being absolutely powerless to stop it from running ots course.

"Oh Junnie, I don't know," he replied at last, letting out a little sigh of frustration. "I don't like it any more than you do, but we both know it has to happen. Whether that be now, or later. When all has come to pass. And I'd rather they deal with it now, that way we're there to catch them if they tumble." I nodded along, even as this feeling in the pit of my stomach grew. Even if it threatened to eat me alive. I jumped as Yixing knelt before me, clasping his hands with mine. "Breathe baby," he instructed, waiting while our movements synced once again. "It's going to be okay."

"I know." I yanked my hands free, annoyed with myself for feeling the effects of this once again. I hated my anxiety. So much. We didn't often lay it on the table to examine, but so much of my life was ruled by this silent demon, who only seemed to rear its head at the most inconvenient times. I was always told I'd grow out of it. That my emotions would stabilize. But here I was, an adult with his life laid out, only realizing now that I had in fact NOT grown out of it. Yixing frowned at me, which did serve its purpose in making me feel guilty, but ue didn't try anything else. Just rubbed circlew on my knee, rising to a stwnding position. He gave a small noise of discomfort. It struck me then how we weren't young anymore.

"As much as it sucks we have to trust DaeHyun knows what he's doing," Yixing added in a soft tone. "He's old enough to make his own decisions. Of course we'll always be his support system. But he's going to have to do this on his own." I sighed. Yixing offered his hand. "Come on love. Let's go down to the gardens. You always love it there." And at that I smiled, accepting the invitation of his open palm, letting him pull me to my feet.

Of course I loved the garden. I loved being out there. But I loved it better when he was with me.

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DaeHyun's POV

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Another night in a suit custom tailored to fit me. This one a blood red. Another color Pa said complimented me. I tugged uncomfortably at the bowtie, feeling suffocated even if I hadn't done anything yet. I already knew tonight would be a long night. Not that I wanted it to be. But I knew it would feel like a game of tug-o-war, and I was the rope. I let out a sigh, studying my unhappy reflection in the mirror. I really just wanted to crawl under the covers until after the party was over. But I also knew that it wouldn't solve anything. Hiding from my problems wouldn't solve them or make them go away. In fact they only seemed to grow.

"Daehyun?" I twisted, gaze softening as it landed on ChaoXing. She peeked in. "You ready?" she asked me, pushing the door open when she wasn't rejected. Dad had packed her a cute, frilly pink dress. Totally age appropriate but also elegant, in a strange sort of way. She didn't appear super comfortable either, and in that I understood.

"Where's your boyfriend?" I asked instead, turning back to the mirror. I watched her expression morph in it. From astonished to sly.

"Where's yours?" she retorted. I whistled. "But seriously where is Li Jie. I haven't seen him since this morning's lesson. And you two are usually attached at the hip." I shrugged. I wasn't his babysitter. But now that she jad pointes it out I wondered as well. Where WAS he? I hadn't seen him since early this afternoon. It was now almost evening. Close to dinnertime. "I'm sure he's around," she added after a moment's pause. "Where's Hojun?"

"That I have no clue," I answered. Was it strange to be talking to my ten year old sister about my love life? Maybe. But she was wise beyond her years. And seemed to have a better grasp on it than I did. "He said something about seeing me later after the lesson and just disappeared." Another pause. ChaoXing shifted behind me, her dress making little swooshing sounds. "Was it s good idea to bring him?" I asked her. "This doesn't seem like such a good idea now."

"It was never a good idea," she replied. I nodded. "But it's what you decided to do so I guess we live with it." Another nod. I felt like a bobble head. "Why did you anyway? You knew well in advance it would be Li Jie and you in a room. Together. Alone."

"Okay enough of that!" I interrupted quickly. I didn't need to think about THAT too much. Or the implications of it. "Yeah, I know. I just...it feels awkard with just the two of us. I thought adding someone else would ease the tension, but all it's done is make it worse. Hojun asked me out." I watched her reflection's mouth drop open on astonishment. "I haven't given him an answer yet."

"But why?" she asked. "Either you want to or you don't. He doesn't deserve the cold shoulder because of it." Curse her observant like dad nature. And her way with words like him too. "Just be careful okay?" Our conversation was ahlted, however, by a small knock on the door. We both turned. The young Japanese royalty blinked back, looking unsure, but dressed in an ornate suit all the same. "Hello Shotaro," ChaoXing greeted.

"Hello," Shotaro replied, about an octave higher. It was clear he was nervous. I hid my smile. Cute little kiddie crushes were adorable to watch. Sort of reminded me when I was about eight or so and was completely smitten witj tjis girl who was the daughter of a friend of Auntie Ying Yue. Of course that was before I knew about...you know. "So, uh, ChaoXing, do you want to..." He flushed, and I did my best to smother my laughter. "Do you want to dance with me? You know, when it's time," he added hurriedly.

"Uh." For once my sister seemed at a loss for words. Truly a rarity. "Sure, Shotaro. That uh. That sounds great." I finally took pity on them, rising from my seat at the vanity. "Time to go?" ChaoXing asked eagerly. Maybe a little too much. But I nodded all the same, extending my arm to her. She took it. "See you at the party," she told Shotaro.

"Yeah..." But she led me along before Shotaro could utter anything more. I chuckled to myself. Seeing her flustered was not something I bore witness to very often. But here we were. She turned a sharp glare my way, and again all I could do was laugh. Same look she'd been giving me for literal years. We paused outside the grand ballroom. Buzzing of noises filtered through the closed doors. ChaoXing shifted. This was the first time she'd ever been to one of these without dad and pa here with her.

"Hey." I captured her attention with a gentle nudge. "I'm here all night of you need me. You got this." A bashful smile replaced the uncertainty. She would gain more experience as time went on. "You ready for this?" She sighed, straightening her shoulders.

"Ready," she affirmed. I pushed the door open, and every eye in the place turned to us. Light applause next. I led ChaoXing along. This was it.

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Li Jie's POV

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"Oh the Korean royalty are here?" I sprang to a standing position as the prince and princess entered, bowing deeply. I'd been getting aquainted with the Japanesw staff, and helping them prepare for the small party all afternoon. I trusted DaeHyun to keep himself entertained while I was away. Plus Shotaro promised to keep an eye on ChaoXing for me. Their little friendship warmed my heart. Very cute. "What's it like working for them?" Hiroto asked next. He seemed to work closest with Shotaro, observing him with a very keen eye. "And why both? Shouldn't ChaoXing have someone close to her own age?"

"My pop is seven years older than King Yixing," I explained with a shrug. "I dunno why I've been tasked with both of them. I was always just told this would be how it is." We weren't needed right this second, as guests were still filtering in. So we sat against the back wall, tucked behind a table where they could leave their coats or other possessions with us to be guarded for the night. Me and a handful of Japanese palace staff, ranging anywhere from about pop's age to kids about ChaoXing's age. It was strange to see. But like me they were likely born into this role and therefor were experiencing it first-hand. Also like me. Hiroto, though, seemed to be the one in charge of the younger crowd. "Were you told this is what you'd do all your life?" I finally asked. Ever curioud about different cultures. He shot me a funny look.

"This is my temporary job," he answered. "Yeah my dad works here, but once I'm an adult I'm going to university to pursue something else." I simply stared. I guess that thought hadn't ever occurred to me. University? A life away from the Chinese and Korean palaces? Away from ChaoXing and DaeHyun? It seemed absurd. "Have you seriously never considered doing something other than this?" he asked, sounding sort of amused. And maybe it was because he was a year older than I, but I wasn't super enthused with his tone.

"Pop said this is what I'd always do," I replied sort of huffily. "I'm okay with that." I twisted so I could peer over ny shoulder. A bob of pink wove its way through the crowd. ChaoXing. I scanned the room, finding DaeHyun talking lowly with Hojun in the opposite corner. I hissed out a frustrated breath. Then got angry with myself for being frustrated in the first place. It wasn't my business to say what DaeHyun could kr couldn't do. And this shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did.

"Ah, I see." I turned to Hiroto, quirking an eyebrow. "Oh. Nothing. Just makes sense why you'd want to stay." He shrugged, seeming embarrassed all of a sudden. My turn to pull a funny face, not quite comprehending.

"Li Jie. Thank god." Butterflies instantly exploded in my belly as my name was called. "Hey. Can you keep an eye on my jacket for awhile?" DaeHyun asked, shedding the garmet. He laid it gingerly on the table. "I'm getting hot. And the dancing is soon."

"Of course sire," I answered automatically, pulling it to me. "Anything else you need? Food or drink? Does Hojun need anything?" DaeHyun blushed, and the urge to pinch his cheeks swelled back to life. He was positively adorable when he was embarrassed or flustered.

"No I...I'm good," he said. He shifted, his gaze darting to my company. I took the hint, neatly folding his jacket in a few swift movements, setting it on a secondary table behind me. I swung around to the front, allowing him to lead me away. "Where have you been all day?" he asked once we were away from the Japanese staff. "I've been looking for you all afternoon." I caught ChaoXing watching us, seated at a table with Shotaro and Sungbin. I gave her a quick wave.

"I've been getting friendly with Shotaro's right hand man," I explained. "Seeing how they do things here." He nodded, looking troubled and confused all at once. "What's this about Dae? You clearly want to tell me something?" Confusion gave way to surprise, and I chuckled to myself. I always said I knew him best, and prided myself in that fact. "We can't be seen together for too much longer," I added gently. Pop reminded me time and time again to keep things fairly professional in public. DaeHyun sighed, raking a hand through his perfectly styled hair, messing it up. I tisked, smoothing it back down.

"Just...I miss you." I side eyed him, and took a few steps before realizing he'd stopped. So I slowly pivoted until we were face to face. But his expression dropped into a neutral one. "And I wish in moments like this we didn't have to act as master and servant. I want you to be out here with me. As my b...as my friend." I quickly corrected himself, but my heart still gave a little thud.

"I'm sorry sire," I apologized, even if it was something beyond my control. And not something I could so easily fix. "But you know as well I do that in times like this, that is what we are." Another frown (which I decided I disliked a great deal on him). "We can always hang out after the fact."

"Yeah...I guess so." He seemed relucant to leave me. But I patted his shoulder, motioning to Hojun, who stood against the far wall, absorbed in something on his phone. I frowned. Usually he was attached to DaeHyun at the hip. "Promise?" DaeHyun asked, effectively capturing my attention.

"Promise." I held my hand out for him. He smiled, and we locked our pinkies to seal the promise deal. "Go have fun sire. I'll see you later."

"See you later," he replied. He started off, then paused, looking around. But no one was near us. Or even paying attention to us, save for maybe ChaoXing. DaeHyun crept back, looking extra unsure. But he pecked my lips lightly. And I let him. Because I knew he wanted it. And my job, after all, was to give him whatever he desired. "Love you," he mumbled, shuffling off.

"Love you too," I whispered, slinking back to the Japanese palace staff. I still felt his lips on mine. Why did I like it so much? And what did this mean? I did love him. But I wasn't IN love with him. Right?

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Idk byt HOLY CRAP long chapter.