I'm exhausted. We just had our big "ride across our state on bicycle" crowd come through and they dragged me back to work at 9am. Why?

...

DaeHyun's POV

...

Will you be my boyfriend?

I gripped the bed sheet under me. The room seemed to spin in crazy circles. Even though it had been hours now. By all accounts I should have been sleeping. But I couldn't. Not when my brain was going a thousand kilometers an hour. I briefly watched the steady rise and fall of Li Jie's chest, hoping it would lull me into a trance. But it didn't. I sighed, flipping onto my side.

Why Li Jie? You know. I couldn't tell you. The plan HAD been to just suck it up and crowd into the same bed as Hojun. No big deal, right? But after his question I just...I couldn't do it. Thankfully we only endured about five seconds of awkward tension before Li Jie came back with an overflowing tray of food. I made a dramatic scene of being ravenous, forcing down enough food to back the claim even when it felt like it would make a reappearance. Li Jie laughed at me, commenting on my squirrel cheeks, a running joke between the pair of us for as long as I could remember. So much of my life involved him. He was a force.

In hindsight it made sense as to why I fell for him in the first place. Why I STILL liked him, even now. He was my best friend. He knew me better than anybody. Knew my favorite foods and drinks. Knew my favorite jokes and what would make me laugh. Knew more about me that even I did. So it seemed only natural that I would fall for the boy like that. That already completed me. But fuck. I never imagined it would hurt like this.

Will you be my boyfriend?

"Dae?" I jerked when my name was spoken. "What are you still doing up? You have meetings in the morning. You should get some sleep." Even half asleep Li Jie slipped so easily into servant mode. A mode instilled in him from the time he could walk and a mode I tried so often to break him out of even if I knew, deep down, he would be nothing more. "Do you need something?"

"No Li Jie," I replied with a sigh, rolling to my side to face him. He blinked at me, slowly, and briefly the image of a cat flittered through my mind before it disappeared again. "I'm just...thinking." He cocked his head to the side, and fuck. He looked so cute. I wanted to smush his cheeks. I wanted to kiss him. I had wanted that for awhile now, not that anyone else needed to know that fact. "About...Hojun," I admitted softly. I couldnt exactly make out Li Jie's face in the dark, but I couldn't imagine he was super happy right now.

"Does he make you happy sire?" The question caught me off guard. I wasnt expecting it. And, in truth, I'd never given it much thought. I pondered it for a second. How did being around Hojun make me feel? Funny. Not necessarily in a good way. I wasnt sure if I liked him all that much. But he liked me a great deal. More than I ever pictured. And that honestly kind of terrified me because I'd never imagined a scenario where I was on the recieving end of someone's feelings. I was like dad. Destined to give and give and give but never quite recieving the same amount back.

"I..." I searched Ji Lie's face. For what, I wasn't sure. An inkling that he liked me too? That my lust wasn't just in vain? I wanted him to feel what I felt. So bad. I'd never wanted anything more on my life, and I could have quite literally anything I wanted with a flick of my wrist. "I don't know," I finally sighed. "I'm more confused than anything. It's been...kind of sudden." Li Jie made a noise I couldn't quite decipher. Displeasure? "I just want things to go back to how they used to be. Before all this happened. When we were kids. Just tiny things. And the scariest thing in life was the monster in the closet that turned out to be a coat."

"Those were the days, weren't they," he agreed softly. We risked waking our extra guest the longer we prolongued the conversation, but I decided in this moment I didn't care what happened. I just wanted to talk to him. "About Mei Zhen," he added. I inwardly winced. She wasn't high on my personal priority list. "Sire, I really want you two to get along. You're both really important to me. I want to be able to spend time with both of you. Together. I feel like I'm not asking for much."

"I know." And I agreed. He wasn't. By all accounts the request was simple to fulfill. Easily in the realm of plausible outcomes. Yet at the same time the idea of trying to make friends with Mei Zhen made my skin crawl. But. What kind of best friend would I be if I didn't at least try? Not a very good one. Especially if I kept accidentally flaunting Hojun in his face (which was also something I never assumed would happen). "I also have a request." I finally broke the silence.

"Yes sire?" Li Jie asked, broken by a yawn. That snapped me to reality. It was late. Or early. Whatever you wanted to call it.

"I'll tell you in the morning," I replied. "Right now it's bed time. Get some sleep. And that's an order." I chuckled. Li Jie copied, though his was more of a rasp of breath than anything. "Night Jie." No reponse, and I thought he'd drifted immediately to sleep. I rolled to my back, staring up at the ornate ceiling. I suddenly very much wanted dad and pa. I wanted to crawl into bed between them even though I was way too old to be doing that. I wanted to be sanwiched between their love like I had always been. I sighed, rolling to my side and tucking my hands under my head, closing my eyes.

"Night sire." I cracked a tiny smile when a voice spoke behind me. "See you in the morning." Yes Li Jie. You would see me in the morning. And lots of mornings if I could help it.

...

"Morning sire." I groaned, rolling to my back and cracking an eye open. Much too early for a rise and shine. Especially after going to bed so late. But duty eaited for no one, even if it wasn't my full responsibilities yet. It would be some day in the future. So I'd better get used to it. "I brought you breakfast," Li Jie continued without missing a beat. "It's at the foot of your bed whenever you're ready for it." I sat up, letting thr blanket tumble away. "And before you ask. Yes I checked on ChaoXing and Sungbin and got them breakfast already. Yes I brought some up for Hojun and I as well. Everything is taken care of."

"Always is when you're on the case," I joked. He chuckled. "Thank you Li Jie. You always take good care of us." He gave me a little bow, seeming embarrassed. It seemed rather cute to me. "What's the agenda today anyway?" I asked, inspecting the tray of food. Rice. Fish. Soup. All delicious.

"Domestic dispute sit ins with Emperor Nakamoto," Li Jie fired off like he'd memorized a schedule. "Lawmaking. And tonight is a welcome party for you and your friends. We've been instrcted to wear our best." Explains why dad sent our whole wardrobe with us. "Tomorrow is a free day to do whatever we want." He threw himself onto the bed, landing beside me unceremoniously. I was transported back in time with the motion. Several years in fact. When he did that quite often, especially when I was down, because it always made me laugh. I picked up the chopsticks proivided to me and stuffed some fish in my mouth. Mostly to keep my occupied while my thoughts ran rapid.

"Dae?" I swiveled, coming face to face with Hojun. He rubbed sleep from his eyes. It was only then I realized he was shirtless, which wasn't the case last night. I flushed and averted my gaze as quickly as it had fallen on him. I heard him chuckle to himself. "Like what you see?" he joked. I...wasn't sure. Never had given any of it much thought, honestly. "What's for breakfast?" Hojun continued.

"Put a shirt on, please," I politely replied. "And fish." Hojun hummed. I heard some rummaging from the other side of the room, then felt the bed dip as another weight was added to it. "You coming to the party tonight?" I asked, even if it was a dumb question TO ask. "You definitely are," I continued with an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of my neck. "Why wouldn't you?"

"Aww, you're flustered," Hojun pointed out. Which of course only made it worse. I mumbled something that wasn't even words, picking at the bedspread. "But of course I'll be there sire," he added, taking pity on me. "Especially if you will be there." He helped himself to some food like he hadn't been flirting with me. Li Jie seemed impassive to yhe whole thing, not uttering a peep the entire exchange. Which was supposed to be a good thing bit honestly it just made me sad. I wanted him to care about this, as sick amd twisted as it was. I wanted him to say something to Hojun. Tell him off. Even if I knew it would never happen I'd tricked myself into believing it could. I just wanted him to love me the same way I loved him.

Will you be my boyfriend?

...

Li Jie's POV

...

"I see the way you look at him." I whirled around, completely caught off guard by a voice speaking behind me. Hojun. Not wearing his usual tacky grin. Actually, he looked downright serious right this second. I made a dramatic showing of clutching my chest. In truth I wasn't expecting company. Daehyun and ChaoXing were currently doing their royal duties. Subgbin was with Shotaro. And Weimen and Weishen were somewhere in the palace. Probably getting into mischief as they'd done many times growing up.

"You gave me quite the scare," I replied. But Hojun never wavered. Staring me down. I suddenly wished DaeHyun was here. Hojun always seemed so relaxed around him. "And I have no idea what you're talking about," I added after a pause. "I do have a girlfriend you know." Why I added that I wasn't entirely sure. It just seemed necessary. Hojun scoffed. I focused intently on the task I worked on, even if my pile of folded clothes far surpassed the ones yet to fold. I slowly and diliberately folded a few more pieces.

"If I may," Hojun interrupted the silence. "And I mean no ill will in this. You're clearly an important figure in DaeHyun's life, so the last thing I want to do is something that would upset him. But I see the way you look at him when he's unaware. Sometimes you look like he hung the stars for you. Are you absolutely sure you harbor no romantic feelings for him?" I sputtered. I wasn't exactly expecting this right this second. Or any second. I shook my head.

"No, I don't," I said. Hojun hummed, regarding me thoughtfully. Like I was some art display set up for viewing at a museum. "What's it to you anyway?" I asked, sharper than I had intended. Hojun side eyed me. "I mean." I paused, collecting myself before I spoke further and dug myself a hole I couldn't escape from. "It is none of your concern who I do and do not like."

"Ah, in this case it does," he replied nonchalantly. He picked at something on his suit jacket (he insisted on wearing it all day despite not truly needing it until later). "For you see, I like DaeHyun. Very much so. He's a kind, funny, passionate guy. So. If you qre not romantically involved, then I am going to shoot my shot with him. I've already asked him to be my boyfriend." My stomach heaved. I did not know that part.

"That's...good," I replied evenly. "It's good for him. He loves companionship. I'm sure he'll treasure that notion." Hojun dipped his head, acknowledging the point. In truth I had no idea they were even close enough for a relationship in that sense, but as long as DaeHyun was happy I couldn't say anything. I had no right to say anything. "We'll have to go on more double dates then. So long as DaeHyun is comfortable with the idea."

"Comfortable with what idea?" I practically lept from my skin a second time in ten minutes. DaeHyun stood in the doorway, eyebrow quirked. I briefly thought of King Yixing before it flittered away as quickly as it had come. "I heard my name. Talking about me behind my back?" He chuckled. Hojun and I exchanged a quick glance. "I'm kidding guys. Come on. Lighten up. It's almost time for the party."

"Right. The party," Hojun said. "Listen, want to go together? Like, together together?" I sucked in a breath. Barely audible. But DaeHyun's gaze swung my way almost instantly. "No pressure of course," Hojun added, sporting that cocky grin I'd come to associate him with. "Only if you want to."

"I'll think about it," he mumbled, backing up a step. Hojun nodded. I glanced away. A whole night of watching the two of them? Sounded like a long one.

...

Hello everyone. Sorry for the small lull. I was feeling uninspired and then suddenly BAM. All at once. So often it goes.