Double quote bonus, yeet:

"Sometimes suffering is just suffering. It doesn't make you stronger. It doesn't build character. It only hurts."

- Kate Jacobs

"New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings."

-Lao Tzu

*******

Aryan

I sat at a table in the dining hall surrounded by princesses and my parents.

"The food is amazing." One girl said as she daintily sliced her chicken.

"Our chef is amazing." I grunted, my mind wandering to Soren.

He kissed me.

That wasn't very relevant right now, I suppose, but I couldn't help but feel like an giddy school girl.

"Well, ladies," My father said, standing up at the head of the table, "Why don't you all go around and introduce yourselves a bit more casually?"

The princess closest to him, the second girl I had talked to at the ball, smiled deviously at me.

I remembered her now, of course. Princess Remi. She seemed very sure that I would pick her, or that, at least, my father would.

"I am from Contown, a beautiful, safe, happy kingdom. My brother is stepping up to the throne there, and my parents are looking for somewhere to marry me off to. They think, and I agree, that I would fit in very well with this scene and kingdom." She finished her (obviously rehearsed) speech with a grin.

The next girl cleared her throat when it was her turn. My father must have invited her, because I don't even think I talked to her at the ball.

"I am Princess Anastasia from Green Aisle. I was delighted when I received the invitation, because I, too, am being married off soon. Prince Aryan is a lovely man and I would be honored to rule alongside him."

The girl seemed nice enough, but spoke a little too properly for my liking.

It was Princess Cambria's turn, and she looked at me goofily before beginning to speak.

"Prince Aryan is the most amazing, perfect, strong, handsome, and admirable candidate for my marriage. I would be ecstatic to be chosen as his bride, and I know that we would rule together forever." She stopped to take a sip of water, and I saw her try to stop herself from laughing. "I love him already. Did I mention he's perfect?"

"Yes," My father said cautiously, "I think you did."

"Great!" She grinned at him then me, sending a wink my way. I grinned back.

Soren and Calypso entered the room with a cart full of pastries, breaking the awkward silence that followed Cambria's speech.

"Your majesties," He said, bowing to pretty much everyone at the table. "I have brought dessert."

"What do you have?" Princess Cambria asked a bit too excitedly. My mother cringed at the fact that she talked to the servants, and the other girls looked at her oddly, but Soren grinned.

"We have cake, pies, puddings, anything you desire." Calypso smiled at her with a strange look.

"Chef, put the desserts on the table," My mother said with distaste.

"Of course, your majesty." Soren wheeled the cart around the table, placing plates of desserts in front of everyone.

When he stopped in front of me, he slipped a bag onto my lap along with a plate of cake in front of me.

I looked into the bag carefully, to find chocolate chip cookies.

"Exit," My mother said.

"Your majesties." Soren and Calypso bowed and turned to leave, and Cambria waved after them.

"They were very nice," She said.

"The servants?" My mother laughed. "Aryan, you were right to invite her. She's very funny."

Cambria frowned, but muttered, "Thanks."

Princess Remi and Anastasia glared at Cambria hatefully, jealous of the compliment from my mother.

"Oh my," I said all of a sudden, "may I be excused? I'm wearing the wrong socks. How embarrassing."

My parents glared at me. "Go change them, Aryan." My mother sighed.

As I stood up and walked away, I heard Cambria ask, "May I use your restroom?"

Soon we were both in the kitchen with Calypso,

"So you want to marry me?" Cambria asked after we had explained our plan.

"Yes and no." I said. "I will choose you, but we won't get married."

"I thought they were all very lovely." My father said to me later that night. "I liked Princess Remi from Contown, wasn't she delightful?"

"Sure," I frowned, "but I know who I am going to pick."

"Princess Anastasia, isn't it?" My mother smiled. "I adored her."

"Princess Cambria." I said.

Both of their faces fell, and they quickly tried to recompose themselves.

"Don't you think she was a bit...improper?" My father tried.

"And she was talking to the servants." My mother said in disgust.

"I pick Princess Cambria." I said. "Rules are rules."

My parents exchanged nervous glances before sighing and giving in.

"Princess Cambria it is."

********

"June 13th." I said to Soren one day in the kitchen as I sat on the counter.

"What?" He asked, looking up from his pots and pans.

"I'm getting married on June 13th." I lied.

"Oh." His face fell. "Well...congratulations."

"Yeah, I'm so excited." I said, rolling my eyes.

"At least you picked who it was, you know? Cambria seemed nice."

His white chef's outfit was covered in soup from when he spilled it half an hour earlier.

"Would you ever want to get married?" I wondered, you know, just out of curiosity.

"To you?" He asked, pausing.

"Sure, or anybody."

"I don't mean to freak you out, but I don't think I'd ever want to marry someone if they weren't you."

My face turned bright red and I wanted him to kiss me.

"Me either." I said with a laugh, trying to hide the fact that I was dying on the inside.

"Aryan, if the circumstances were different, I would marry you." His face was so calm and straight that it almost scared me.

"Why not under these circumstances?"

"Because I won't be a part of your life in a month." He scoffed.

Hearing him say that hurt too much, and I quickly changed the topic.

"Where will you go?" I asked, my eyes becoming a bit teary.

"Wherever I end up." He shrugged.

"Are you going to flirt with any more boys when you're gone?" My throat started to ache.

"I'm more of a lone wolf. How about you?"

"I'll be married." I said, letting out a tiny sniffle.

"What's wrong?" He asked, rushing over to me.

"What's wrong?" I cried. "In one month, you'll be gone. I'll be married, ruling a kingdom, and I won't have you there with me. Why can't you stay? Why can't you just suck it up and do it for me?" Tears poured down my face as I broke down.

He looked at me with such sadness in his eyes that I wondered how he wasn't crying too.

"I can't stay and watch you break, because then I'll break." He confessed.

"Then go fuck yourself!" I yelled angrily. "You'd rather leave and forget about me while I hold the weight of the world on my shoulders than stay and help me carry it!"

"I-" He blurted out. "I can't watch it."

"Well thank fucking god you don't actually have to do it." I shouted, hopping off the counter and shoving him backwards. "What do you think the only thing keeping me sane is, huh? It's you, you massive dickhead. The only reason I haven't lost it before, haven't broken down is because of you!"

Soren wiped his face aggressively as a tear rolled down.

"You don't understand-" he cried.

"No, you don't understand. You say you'd want to marry me, then leave when I'm in trouble. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I'm leaving in a month, Aryan. I had plans to go before meeting you, okay? I can't just change my life because of some snotty brat who thinks I'll alter everything for him!" He yelled, stepping backwards.

As soon as he said the words, he covered his mouth.

"Aryan, I-" he sobbed.

"Okay." I said, breathing shakily. "I get it. Leave, then. If you hate me so much, then just leave already. What are you waiting for?"

Hearing my own voice sound so empty hurt more than anything. Well, not more than hearing his sound so hateful.

"I love you, Aryan." He tried desperately.

"You don't love me if you're only saying it to make me forgive you. Or to make up for the fact that you're still leaving, and nothing I can do will make you stay." I whispered shakily, wiping my eyes with vigor. "I have been trying to make you stay since the day I met you a month ago. I'm getting married at the end of this month. You won't stay, no matter what. So just go."

He left, his back to me as he walked towards the kitchen doors.

Opening them and just barely stepping out, he looked over his shoulder with sad eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Aryan."

"Goodbye."

*******

"Aryan, I just wanted to make sure that you're sure about picking Princess Cambria before we reach out to Oakdale." My father said at breakfast the next day.

Cambria.

The plan.

Fuck the plan.

"I..." I laid down my fork and knife, clearing my throat. "I've changed my mind."

My parents exchanged hopeful glances.

"Well, who do you want?" My mother asked.

The kitchen boy.

"Anastasia." I said, surprising my parents.

A good surprise, I suppose, because they both put on ear-to-ear grins and let out sighs of relief.

"That's....that's amazing, Aryan." My mother beamed.

I raised my eyebrows at her lazily. "What was wrong with Princess Cambria?"

"We all know that she's not exactly...princess material." My father chuckled. "Anastasia it is."

Two weeks passed where I didn't talk to Soren. Two weeks before Anastasia arrived at the castle.

"I am honored." She said, bowing as she stepped out of her carriage in front of the palace.

"It's my pleasure." I said, barren of all emotions other than regret.

That night at dinner, my father stood and raised his glass in front of my family and hers.

"To Prince Aryan and Princess Anastasia, soon-to-be King and Queen. May this formal business arrangement bring happiness and prosperity to both our kingdoms, and to our children."

He rambled on further, but I couldn't hear anything over the sound of 'formal business arrangement' ringing in my ears.

Marriage. It was not a marriage. It would never be a marriage. It would always just be a formal business arrangement.

I would never marry somebody I loved. When you love someone, your marriage isn't a formal business arrangement. When you love someone, you want to be with them all the time. You stay up late for them, talk to them, joke with them, laugh with them. You want to expand your horizon, test your own boundaries, take risks you normally wouldn't take. You want to escape with them and never look back.

The sound of everyone saying, "Cheers!," brought my attention back to the dinner.

I quickly muttered out a, "Cheers," and started playing with my soup.

"Well, Princess Anastasia," My father said as he sat down, "If Aryan loves you, then we love you. We can't wait to welcome you to the family."

If Aryan loves you...

He doesn't.

I love someone who can stay up late with me, jokes with me, laugh with me. Someone who takes me places I'd never normally go, who makes me both angry and happy.

Somebody who's leaving, despite all that.

"Aren't you excited, Aryan?" My father asked, after noticing my sullen expression.

"Of course." I put on a fake smile. "Just not feeling well tonight."

"Well, dinner won't be over for a while. Would you like to retire early tonight, if the guests don't mind?" My mother looked around the table.

"Go up to rest, Aryan. We don't mind." Said Anastasia's father.

"Thank you." I stood up, pushed in my chair, and walked out of the dining hall.

On my way out the door, I bumped into someone.

"Aryan." He said, the wind seemingly knocked out of him.

"No." I scoffed, pushing past him towards the stairs.

"You're still mad at me." He sighed, pulling at the sleeves of his shirt absentmindedly. He stood nervously and with less confidence than I'd ever seen him with.

"No." I said, rolling my eyes. "I'm just done fighting with you. I can't win."

"Aryan-" He cried after me as I started going up the stairs.

"You can't win, either, Soren. Stop trying."

He didn't call out for me after that, and I wasn't sure if I was glad or disappointed.