"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

-John Lennon

***************

Soren

I wouldn't stay for his wedding. I wouldn't stay to see him get married off to a princess he didn't want; didn't love.

I wouldn't stay and see him live a life with her, ruling a kingdom and adored by everyone.

I wouldn't stay to see him triumph, rise, because I knew that no matter how strong he was, this life was breaking him apart.

All of the decisions that he didn't want to make, all the things he couldn't deal with, all of the pressure.

The need to please others. The need to try to please himself, and failing.

I wouldn't stay, simply because I couldn't.

I couldn't watch him get married, I couldn't watch him succeed, I couldn't watch him break.

I couldn't watch him lead a life he didn't want to lead, because the thought of it made me want to stay.

But I wouldn't stay, because I couldn't bear to watch him wear away in his sad little throne, in this sick little kingdom.

But by the look in his eyes and the smile on his face when I told him I wouldn't see him get married, something told me the prince had a plan.

*******

"Do you have a family?" He asked me one morning. It was early, and we were in the kitchen as usual.

I paused for a moment, wondering whether or not I should tell him the truth.

"Sure," I shrugged, "I suppose."

"You suppose you have a family?" He asked me, raising his eyebrows.

I nodded.

"Care to explain?"

"Sure." I grunted, repositioning myself so I was facing him. "I grew up somewhere far away, with my aunt and cousin. We weren't very close because they took me in after my parents died when I was five."

"You say it so calmly." He frowned.

"Time heals." I reminded him. "Besides, I grew up perfectly fine. I had clothes, food, shelter,"

"So then why did you leave?" He asked me.

"Because they didn't love me and I didn't love them." I replied.

"So you're looking for love?" He smiled with a laugh.

"I guess...any type of love. Family, marriage, friendship, anything really."

"That's sweet. We have friendship, so why are you still leaving?" He asked accusingly.

"I..." I sighed. "I can't stay. I don't know if I could explain to you exactly why."

"Try." He scowled.

"Um..." I coughed awkwardly. "It's kind of cheesy."

"Soren!" He exclaimed. "C'mon!"

"Fine, fine." I sighed. "So, we're friends. And you're getting married to someone who you don't love, and I..." I paused, "I don't think I can watch you do it."

Aryan was quiet for a moment before he finally spoke again.

"So you care about me?"

"I obviously care about you. I wouldn't hang out with you, or worry about you, take you to the village, make you so many damn cookies, if I didn't care about you."

"And you won't stay because you care about me?" He asked, not quite understanding.

"It sounds stupid out loud." I sighed.

"Soren, do you understand that you're hurting me more by leaving?"

"Of course. Do you understand that you're hurting me more by trying to make me stay?"

"That's just stupid." He frowned. "I'm the one marrying someone I don't love, I would still be able to see you."

"I'm the one watching you marry someone you don't love, not being able to do anything about it, watching you get hurt..." I said, my voice becoming angrier and more frustrated.

"It won't hurt as bad if I have you."

"No, it'll hurt worse." I argued. "It will hurt me way worse to see you get married."

"It doesn't matter to you, who I marry." He frowned.

"Of course it does!" I cried. "It matters to me!"

"Why? It's not like it's you or anything." He said.

"Exactly, it's not me!"

It took me a moment to comprehend that A) he had probably meant that it wasn't me getting married, and that B) I had just said that I was jealous or something.

"What?" He asked after a moment of heavy silence.

"I- I don't... never mind!" I yelled, hopping down from the counter and storming out.

"What's wrong?" Calypso asked as I entered the servants quarters.

"Shut up Calypso." I snarled at her, flopping onto my bed.

"It's the prince, isn't it?" She asked, her voice laced with concern.

"Stop talking before I slap you." I roared.

"What happened? I know that there's something going on between you two."

"What the fuck do you mean?" I asked angrily, getting up and in her face.

"I mean exactly what you think I mean! Obviously there's something between you two. You literally spend every second of the day together, you got matching rings, he's gay, and I know that you like him!" She replied frustratedly.

"I don't like him!" I cried out.

"So you mean you're fine with him marrying a princess? Watching her walk down the aisle and meet him there, watch them say vows and rule this kingdom for the rest of their lives, together? You're okay with that? You don't care?" She asked, crossing her arms.

Of course I cared, but I wouldn't stay to see it anyway.

"I don't care." I lied.

Of course I did.

I didn't want to watch him marry a princess, or anyone else. I didn't want him to be tied down in a life he didn't want. I didn't want to be without him when I left, but I would be anyway, because I couldn't afford to stay and tell him.

This is when I realized that my feelings for Prince Aryan weren't exactly...platonic. Friendly. When I realized that I thought more of him than I'd like to.

When you were young and playing with friends, did you ever have them taunt you for liking someone? Saying stuff like, 'someone's got a crush!' or 'ooh! Soren likes Aryan!' because that was exactly what I was doing to myself right now.

Someone's got a crush.

Oh no.

Oh Jesus Christ, please, no!

What if he didn't feel the same way?

I could tell him, and maybe, just maybe, he would want me the way I might want him.

I could not tell him, and just leave things the way they are now.

And always wonder about what could have been.

Or, I could tell him and he could reject me. He could reject me and marry that girl, live his life with her.

This story had three endings: confess and find love, do nothing and leave, or confess and get rejected.

My odds weren't good, but then again, when were they ever?

"It's obvious that you do care, Soren. You're trying to tell me that you're alright watching him get married to some girl, the queen to his royal ass, and you're okay with that?"

"It doesn't matter anyway!" I cried, waving my hands violently. "I'm not gonna see it!"

"And why is that?" She asked with an eye roll.

"Because I'm leaving." I said.

A moment of silence passed by.

"You're...leaving?" She whispered in disbelief. "Why would you leave?"

"Because I can't stay, obviously."

"Does Aryan know?" She asked me.

"Why do you think we're fighting?" I sighed.

"Soren...I don't know enough about the situations, but let me tell you what I do know." Calypso said, taking a seat beside me on the bed. "You have feelings for Prince Aryan. I'm willing to bet he has them for you, too."

I swallowed a lump in my throat and nodded along with her.

"He is supposed to get married, and you want to leave. Tell me why you're leaving."

I sighed sadly in defeat.

"Before, I was leaving because I always do. I never stay somewhere for too long, it drives me crazy. But now...." I wiped my eyes, "I'm leaving because I don't think I can watch it."

"Watch what? Him get married?" She asked softly.

"Sure." I sniffled. "Get married, live his life with her, take off my ring and put on hers..."

"How do you think he feels about this situation?" She asked.

"I know that he doesn't want me to leave, and he doesn't want to get married."

"That's good, isn't it?"

"Under different circumstances, sure. But he has to get married, and I have to leave, because if I don't, I'll hurt worse than he will. Because I'll have to watch him hurt."

"Tell him that. Don't you think you'll both feel better knowing that the feeling is mutual?" She suggested.

"I can't tell him." I said, shaking my head in sorrow.

"Why?" Calypso pressed.

"It will hurt too much when I leave."

"Then don't leave."

"It will hurt too much if I stay." I whispered.

"So if you leave, you leave him married to a girl he doesn't love, all alone. And if you stay, you can still see him but he's married?" She asked for clarification.

"Yes." I nodded. "Because I know that we'll both break. Maybe for different reasons, but we'll both break."

"Isn't it better to still be able to see him?" She sighed.

"No," I shook my head, "I don't want to see him unhappy."

"But won't he be unhappy when you leave?" Calypso insisted with a frown.

"That's assuming he has feelings for me. All of this is, actually." I scoffed. "But even if he does, he'll get over me. He'll be unhappy with the princess, but he'll forget about me."

"You're wrong. Somebody once said, 'People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.' Aryan won't forget about you, Soren, no matter how much you hope he will."

"I just want him to be happy." I said as a tear ran down my face.

"He won't be happy when he's married."

"There's a reason I won't be here to see that." I sniffled.

"Why?"

"Because I care too much."

"You care, so you're going to hurt him." She said flatly.

"It's selfish, I know. I just can't watch it. I won't."

"It's beyond selfish, actually." She said. "I think you need to talk to him."

"We'll see." I said, repositioning myself so that I was lying down.

"What are you doing?" Calypso asked, standing up from my bed.

"Sleeping. I've had a rough day, and I just want to be left alone." I turned onto my side and pulled the sheets over my head, blocking her out.

"Whatever, Soren." She sighed as she walked away from me.

The next day at 3:00 P.M I was in the kitchen chopping vegetable, when all of a sudden, Aryan came in.

"What's your friend's name?" He asked.

"Calypso?" I replied.

"Yeah, her. She told me that you had something to tell me." His eyes sparkled with curiosity and I hated that I noticed how handsome he looked.

I sucked in a deep breath, squeezed my eyes shut, and put the knife down.

Slowly turning to him, I said, "I have nothing to say to you."

He looked at me with an expression of sadness and regret. "Are you sure? She made it seem really important."

"Calypso thinks that you need to know everything I say about you all the time. You don't." I snapped at him.

"You say stuff about me to her?" He asked sheepishly with a blush.

"Now you're blushing, great." I sighed, only making his cheeks more red. "Listen, Aryan. There are things that I don't want to tell you."

"Tell me." He insisted.

"I want to. But I can't." I frowned, hopping onto the counter.

Something flashed in Aryan's eyes and he slowly walked over to where I was sitting until he was inches in front of me.

"Why?" He whispered, his soft eyes staring me down.

I looked away before I did anything I would regret.

"It will make it harder when I leave and you get married."

"Could it really get any harder?" He smiled, putting a hand on my chin and forcing me to face him.

Confident much?

"It could get a lot harder, trust me. I don't want to hurt you worse than you already are."

Aryan moved his hands so that they were resting on the counter, trapping me by placing them on either side of my body.

"Have you ever wondered about what could have been?" He asked.

"Uh," I muttered, licking my lips, "Probably."

Aryan smiled. "I can say that I haven't, yet." He sighed. "But the second you leave...the moment you say goodbye, what could have been will be the only thing on my mind."

His voice started to become soft, almost like a whisper, and I turned my head to face him straight on.

"Aryan-" I sighed.

"No. Let me say this." He cleared his throat. "I love spending time with you. I love seeing you. I love knowing that you're just a few doors away, and that I can tell you things I can't tell anyone else. But, I hate that you're leaving. And I hate that you're leaving me behind married to a girl I don't want. I hate that you aren't thinking about how you're hurting me. I would rather have you here with me for the wedding, for the time after, than to wonder where you are and if you're married yet yourself. If you leave me, the only thing I will think about is what could have been. Could we have been together? Could I have had a chance? Could he have liked me back?"

"Aryan-" I tried again.

"And what if's. What if he had stayed? What if I had kissed him? What if I told him how I felt?"

"What if I stopped talking long enough for him to say something?" I snapped, my face red from the embarrassment of his confession.

At least I knew he liked me back.

"Sorry." He blushed.

"Whatever, I think you just need to shut the fuck up." I growled.

He opened his mouth to say something but I never gave him the chance, seeing as that I leaned forward and put my hands behind his neck.

I pressed his lips on mine and felt my cheeks blaze bright red.

When I pulled away, he smiled softly at me.

"I don't want to marry a princess." He smiled sadly.

And I said, "I know."

"I want to be with you."

"I know."