In the middle of my sixth grade year, a new student joined us.
It changed a lot of things.
Especially me.

A doll face covered with freckles.
An aggressive look.
Flaming red hair.
And a European accent.

Since the first day, we all felt it.
There was... Something really special about her.
Her aura I guess.

Her name was Blue.
Because her parents love the sea, she said.
I thought that it fits her well.

Every time I looked into her eyes, I felt like I was drowning.
Every time I heard her voice, my heart stopped.
Every time she smiled, my stomach hurt.

I always wanted to be close to her.
But she was always so far.

Sometimes, I would find myself thinking about touching her hair.
Her hands.
Her lips.
Her breasts.
Her body.

I took me some time to understand what these feelings were.
I was so confused at that time.

...
...

I never really had friends.
I was a loner, you could say.

I was fourteen when I made my first.
I was never able to describe her with words.
Even though my memory is fuzzy, I know perfectly well that her name was Red.

We knew each other from art class.
She was sitting right next to me.
Because of that we slowly, but surely created a bond.

She was the rebellious type.
One day, she even convinced me to skip classes.
It was one of the best day of my life.

I remember everything from that day.

The heat of the sun below us.
This feeling of complicity.
This feeling of freedom.
The sound of her laugh.
Her scent.

And most of all, that stolen kiss.

...
...

At first, I was confused.
I didn't understand what was our relationship.

First, there was that kiss, a very hot kiss if I may.
Second, the way she was looking at me.
Third, the way she was touching me.
And fourth, the way I was feeling.

Everything has changed.
Me, her and our feelings.

After a while, we started to hang out after school.
I never really thought that it was what we call a "date".

We never kissed in public.
I never asked why.
And I never understood why either.

Tons of couple make out on the street.
Not same sex couple, she told me one day.
She looked at bit sad when she said that.

Months passed.
Days passed.
We were still together.

Then, something happened.

It was raining that day.
We were soaking wet and freezing.
But we were soaking weat and freezing together.

Drops of water were flowing in her hair.
Her white shirt was completely transparent, and I couldn't help but look at her purple bra.

And then, suddenly, she just turned her face, looked at me and said spontaneously with a soft smile :

"I love you"

...
...

There are a lot of things that you can't really explain with words.

Feelings.
Passion.
And physical attraction.

So, this part going to be hard to explain.

In short...
We made love.
It was something that I will never forget.

Bright stars.
Soft hands.
Romantic kisses.

Light blanket.
Ground covered with clothes.

Heavy breath.
Hot sweat.

Then pain.
And pleasure.
Pleasure again and again.

I didn't want it to stop.
Never.

But every good things have an end.

It was perfect.
Way too perfect.

...
...

My mother's name was Yellow.
I thought that I knew her.

A warm,
Calm,
Kind,
Understanding,
And loving mother.

But she wasn't those things in that moment.
At all.

She was a cold,
Furious,
Inhuman,
Disapproving,
And hateful stranger.

At first I thought, « Is that my mother?»
Then I looked at her eyes.
They were the same.

The same that watched me grew up.
The same that have looked after me since the beginning.
The same that watched me arrive in this world.

The same that saw me kiss a girl.
The same that are looking at me with disgust.

How can they be the same?
How?

...
...

I am wandering in the streets.
Without anywhere to go.

I don't have a home anymore.
I don't have a family anymore.
I have nothing.

My mother abandoned me.
Red abandoned me.

Will I end up abandoning myself too?

I'm lost.
What am I going to do?
Where am I going to?

I don't know.
And right now, I don't care.

I have no future.

...
...

Lonely streets.
Fog and dirt.
A dead end.

No expactations.
No hope.
No life.

Just...
Emptiness.

And then...
Then...

A hand.
A hope.
A chance.

A future

...
...

I thought that I was alone.
I thought that I wasn't normal.

But...
I was wrong.

There are a lot of people like me.
A whole community.

They welcomed me with open arms.
They comforted me.
They accepted me.

I finally felt like a was a part of something.
Something important.

I felt loved.
Truly loved.

...
...

The clubs.
How could I describe them...

I just love them.

Light.
Color.
Life.
Joy.

Everything about them.

Alcohol.
Music.
Dance.
Sweat.

They make me feel more alive.

Unstoppable energy.
Insatiable vibes.
Animal pulses.

Yeah...
I just love being there.

...
...

I met her a Tuesday.

It was raining.
I didn't have an umbrella.
But she did.

She was furtively staring at me.
Looking away every time I turned my head in her direction.

She took a deep breath.
And then, she shyly came to me.

''Hi-Um... You're probably going to get a cold.''

She was beautiful.

''Yeah...''

So beautiful.

''So... Do you mind if I escort you..?''

I stared at her, amused.
She blushed.

''Eh-Uh-I... I mean I got an umbrella ! And-''

I smiled.
She stopped talking.

We stared at each other for a minute.
Then we walked.
And walked.

Our walk lasted a very long time.
But it flew by so fast.

And I wanted to learn so much more about her.

We exchanged our cellphone numbers.
Then we texted every day.
Called almost every day.

After a while, I realized.
We were dating.

...
...

Is this a good idea ?

I was nervous.
More nervous than ever.

For us ?
For her ?
For me ?

She was right in front of me.
She was still with me.

Will she stay with me ?
Will she leave me ?
Will I leave her ?

She was starring at me.
Confused.

Are we ready for this ?
Is she ready ?
Am I ?

The box in my hand was getting heavy.
And my hand was shaking uncontrollably.

Breath in.
Breath out.

I opened my hand.
I stared right into her eyes.

I want her.
I want to be with her forever.

I opened the box.
Her whole body jolted.

She is what I need.
All I need.

''Would you marry me''

...
...

Our wedding was in spring.
On a beach.
A Sunday.

There weren't much people invited.
But that wasn't important.

What was important was that we were there.
Wife and wife.
She and I.

And on that day, we made a promise.

The promise to stay together,
To care for each other,
And to love each other,
Forever.

...
...

Soft sand.
Light wind.
Dazzling sun.

Her distant figure in the sea.
The brightness of her smile.
The echo of her laugh.

A feeling of comfort.
And warmth.

I join her.
Her, my wife.

She grabs my hand.
We smile at each other.
Then we look at the sky.

Right now,
Contemplating the sunset,
With my wife.

I finally feel...
Complete.