Chapter Seventy Six
Primadonna

AFTER THE CONVERSATION she had with Miguel, Sydney thought things couldn't possibly get any worse.  Unfortunately,  she was wrong.  She was reading her book in the living room when her dad told her about the fight between Daniel and Silver.  At first,  she thought it was another one of their petty arguments,  until Alexander told her what Silver did,  then she drove all the way to the Larusso home at a constant speed of 85.  Sam opened the door right away.  "I'm so sorry,"  Sydney let out and pulled her into a hug.

Sam gingery hugged her back.  "It's getting worse,  Syd."  She spoke like a scared little girl.

The Brit walked inside the house.  "How is he?  Is it bad?"  She quickly asked.

"He's hurting."  The Larusso daughter said with a sad frown.  "He can hardly get out of bed."

Hearing the girl's voice,  Amanda came walking into the front room and Sydney quickly hugged her.  "Amanda,  I'm so sorry."

"Thank you,  Sydney,"  the woman said just above a whisper.

It was sad to see them like this.  Since she was a child,  the Larusso family was the best people she'd ever known.  They were her second family.  Daniel was like her second father.  Now,  it was like they were all deteriorating.  "I don't understand.  I thought Daniel was done with karate?"

"He tried,  but Silver still has a hold on him,"  Amanda explained with a guilty expression.  "I didn't understand it before,  but,  I do now."

Sam stood there silently with her arms crossed,  the same depressed look on her face as she thought about her father.

Sydney looked between them.  "So,  what are we going to do?" 

Usually,  Amanda always had the answer.  She was always a leader.  But this time,  she looked defeated.  She looked guilty that she didn't understand how bad the situation truly was.  "I don't know."  She answered the question,  her voice still quiet.  Her eyes then glossed over.

Seeing that her mom was upset,  Sam walked over and wrapped her arms around her.  Amanda closed her eyes and she began to cry.  Sydney's arms wrapped around them both.

After letting them cry,  the teenage girls sat outside by the pool,  their legs criss crossed.  "How are you feeling?"  Sydney asked her friend,  softly.

Sam solemnly played with with her hands.  "I'm so tried of this.  I'm tired of karate talking over my entire life.  It wasn't supposed to be this way."

The Brit frowned.  "I know."

"I wish I never got back into it in the first place."

Sydney's dark eyes looked over her shoulder,  directly looking to where Daniel's dojo was.  "Remember when we were little and your dad showed up the dojo for the first time?"  She asked with a cracked smile.

Sam breathed out a small laugh through her nose.  "Yeah,  and I thought he was crazy.  I mean,  I grew up hearing him talk about Mr.  Miyagi but I never thought I would become a karate kid like he was."  She looked her way.  "Or you."

Sydney briefly rolled her eyes.  "I'm not a karate kid,  Sam.  I'm a dancer."

"You're both,"  the girl clarified.  She nudged her shoulder with hers.  "Whether you believe it or not,  karate's a part of you.  It's a part of us both.  Besides,  you've always been a little bit better than me."

She stared at the side of Sam's face.  She thought it was ridiculous,  her words.  Her father was Daniel Larusso,  the 1984-1985 All Valley champion.  Samantha was literally born into karate.  "You're wrong,"  she spoke,  making Sam look at her again.  "You've always been better than me.  You always know exactly what to do.  I've never seen you fail."  There was that sad feeling again.  "Karate's who you are,  Sammy.  Dance is who I am.  That's how it'll always be."

When she didn't have dance class, Rosemary gave Sydney the opportunity to teach the younger kids at the studio. She became the woman's own personal assistant in a way. She spent the majority of her time in the dance studio. It was basically her home away from home and the only thing that kept her mind off of everything else going on in her life. Here, she wasn't a failure. She wasn't judged. She was allowed to be herself, to express her feeling freely. Her heart belonged to dance.

It had been a few days since Silver attacked Daniel and Sydney had yet to see him. She felt guilty about it but knowing that he was in so much pain was hard for her to deal with. She remembered back to when Miguel was in the hospital because of what happened at school and how much it messed her up, she didn't want to go through that again, especially with someone she loved so much.

Sydney loved the younger girls at the studio. They ranged from age 7-13 and the girls she taught in ballet were mostly 9-11. "Straighten your back, Sarah." She said to one of the girls at the barre. She put her hands gently on her back and straightened her posture. "There you go. Okay, everyone go from a plié to a tendu, to a passive dèveloppé but make sure to keep your arms in a high third position!" She instructed them all. She stood at the front of the barre to do it with them.

She didn't expect the younger ones to get it perfect considering they were only nine, but she was more than happy to see the majority of them copy her almost perfectly. "Good job, girls!" She praised.

When the rehearsal was over, the little girls hugged her and gathered their things to go find their mothers, who were all waiting in the hallway. Sydney unplugged to stereo that was in the corner of the room.

"You look like you're in your element."

She turned around and Daniel was standing by the door, his bruised face on display. Sydney's face fell. "Mr. Larusso. . ."

He walked further into the room and looked around. "Wow. Can't believe I've never been in here before."

She didn't know what to say.

"Y'know, I remember the first date recital of yours I went to. It was with Amanda and Sam. You messed up on the stage and you started crying,"

She cracked a smile.

"You wanted to run off the stage so badly but your mother was telling you to just keep going," Daniel continued. "After a minute, you started improvising. I had no clue what was going on but everyone started clapping so I did, too." He smiled at the girl. "You never gave up. You won every competition after that."

Sydney's eyes flickered around the room, her throat starting to feel like it was closing. She locked her hands in front of her. "Why are you here, Mr. Larusso?" She uttered.

"Figured if you weren't going to come visit then I might as well visit you," he answered with a slight smugly smile.

She frowned that time. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I don't blame you." He shook his head. "I didn't want my own family to see me this way."

"I really tried—"

He walked closer to her. "I know. I know." They now stood face to face. "You've never been good at handling when people are hurt. You fainted the first time Sam broke her arm."

Sydney chuckled.

He grinned slightly. "You didn't show up with everyone else."

She shook her head that time. "I can't go back, Mr. Larusso. I can't get involved again." She told him, her heart settled on the decision. "Karate's ruined so many of our lives. I don't want it to completely ruin mine."

Daniel seemed to be remembering something. "Y'know, when I first met Mr. Miyagi, I thought he was insane." It made her laugh. "Thought there was no way this old man was going to possibly teach me karate. I thought the bullying I had to face was never going to end. But then, I kept learning and I kept getting better. I learned that I don't have to be afraid to stand up for myself; to make mistakes. And I damn sure won't let those bullies continue to control my life anymore." He spoke with determination.

Her eyes began to water.

"I knew someone just like you when I was younger.  All she wanted to do was dance.  It was her dream.  And I know that you feel like you're not good enough because of what happened at the All Valley and that you feel like you're whole world is ending because of that one loss. . . But Syd, I promise you, you're going to mess up so many times in your life. What's important is that you don't give up, and that you keep trying, just like you never give up when it comes to dance,"

Daniel touched her shoulder. It was a fatherly touch, just like her own father's. He knew her more than she knew herself. But Sydney was scared. "I don't want to mess up again," her voice broke. She allowed her vulnerability to show.

Daniel hugged her. "If you do, then I'll be right there to help you. We all will." He declared.

Sydney closed her eyes and let the tears fall. For the first time since the All Valley, she allowed someone to see how scared she was, how much the loss was affecting her. She felt extremely lost, like she didn't know how to pick herself up again. She hated how such a small moment could fuck up her life so much. But Daniel said it best: she never gave up. Since she was a child, whatever she did, no matter how bad it was, she gave it her all. There was a battle inside your head, one side telling her to go back and give karate another shot and the other was telling her to give up, move on, and focus on what truly made her happy.

But as she hugged the man, she thought of how much he was really hurting inside and out. Daniel needed to remember who he was and what he got into karate for as well. He, too, was giving up on himself. They needed each other. If he was willing to help her, who was she not to help him?

Sydney laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling, with her hands locked over her stomach. She had her thinking face on. The battle in her head wouldn't stop until she made a decision and it caused her a headache. She didn't want to let Daniel down, or her friends, but she was already letting herself down. She disappointed herself. What was worse than that?

She tried to think about all the good things that came into her life because of karate. Her relationship with the Larusso's was stronger, she made new friends, and in some odd way, it changed for the better. But then she thought about all that it costed her; her anxiety was worse, she almost lost Miguel, she lost a lot of those friendships, and she lost the All Valley. She costed them the championship all because she had a stupid panic attack. The amount of panic attacks she had in her life and that one decided to fuck up her life.

"That's never a good face," Caroline said from the doorway of her room, a sad smile on her lips.

Sydney sighed.

"What's going on, love?" The mother asked and came and sat on the bed with her.

She moved her head so that she was looking at her. "I'm really confused, mum."

"About what?"

"Daniel came to the studio today. He's trying to convince me to get back into karate. . ."

"But you're scared to." Caroline finished, already knowing.

"I don't want to mess up again. I'm literally terrified of messing up." Sydney said and her eyes glossed over. She was incredibly frustrated. "And I know that there'll be plenty of times in my life where I'm going to fail, but, when I think about that day at the All
Valley—" She lifted her hands and squeezed them. "It's like my chest is being crushed and I can't breath. All I can about is. . ."

Caroline frowned again. "Miguel?"

She closed her eyes. "He broke my heart, mum." She said with a quiver in her voice.

"I know, love, I know." The woman scooted closer to her.

"I can't be around him. I can't be around karate. I-I'll end up going crazy—"

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, mon amour," her mother told her, which meant my love in French. "You've always been so independent in not letting people make decisions for you. You're just like your father." The girl grinned. "I know you're scared and you have very right to be, but I saw such a change in you when you started doing karate. You became. . . happier."

Sydney opened her eyes and looked at her again.

"I saw the light in your darken after the school fight and I swore that I would never let you get back into the sport again, but, that's not my decision." Caroline smoothed her hair. "If you're happy in karate, and you feel like you're ready to go back, then don't be scared, Syd. Overcome your fears. You'll have all of your friends to back you up."

Sydney valued her mother's opinion over anyone's, including her dad sometimes. Caroline Benoist always knew what to say. She was a gentle woman, a kind soul, and she always knew what her daughter needed to hear.

When her mom left the room, Sydney's eyes returned to the ceiling and her thinking face reappeared. Was she ready? She still didn't know.

I feel like I haven't written a genuine moment between Sydney and Daniel since season 1