Chapter Seventy Five
Primadonna

"HOW'S OHIO LIFE?"

Sam rolled her eyes.  "I don't understand why I couldn't just stay with you.  I'm not Anthony's age."

Sydney laid on her bed,  FaceTiming Sam,  who was in Ohio with her mom and brother.  "You know how your mom is,  Sammy.  She just needs to cool off.  Your dad has been kind of a dick."  Her eyes widened slightly.  "For good reason,  of course."

"I hate when they fight.  It seems like all they fight about these days is Silver,"  the Larusso daughter said with a sad and annoyed sigh.  "Do you think you could check on him for me while we're gone?"

Sydney smiled slightly.  "I'll try my best."  She drew a heart in the air with her finger.  "I give all of you my love."

Sam giggled.  "Thanks,  Syd.  I gotta go,  but,  I'll talk to you later."

"Of course,  babe."  She blew the girl a kiss and ended the FaceTime.

Caroline knocked on her open door and peaked her head in.  "Love,  Johnny's here to see you."  She told her.

The girl furrowed her brows slightly and climbed off her bed.  When she walked downstairs,  she saw the blonde man sitting on the couch with her father,  the two engaged in a conversation.  "Johnny,  what are you doing here?"  She announced herself.

The two of them looked her way.  "Hey,  Syd,"  Johnny responded and stood up.  "Uh,  I was hoping we could talk."

He sounded hesitant.  Sydney blinked her eyes and nodded slightly.  She motioned to the back door and he followed her outside to where the pool was.  Johnny's eyes widened at her back yard.  "Jesus,  you're like a damn Kardashian."

She hummed.  "I like to think more Kyle Richards."  She sat on the porch swing and he took the spot beside her.  They sat there in an awkward silence for a minute.  "So,  what's this about?"  She questioned.

"Look,  I know you and Miguel aren't together anymore and you're trying to stay away from all of this karate crap,  but. . ."  He started to say.  "This whole thing between Robby and Miguel,  I need it to stop and I need your help."

Sydney immediately shook her head.  "No,  Johnny,"

"Just hear me out!"  He quickly continued.  "I already tried getting them to reconcile once and it didn't work.  I don't know what else to do."

"Have you ever stopped to think maybe they just don't like each other?"  The British girl harshly said.  "Robby almost killed Miguel,  Johnny.  He turned his back on us and went to Cobra Kai.  He tormented Eli.  Robby doesn't deserve this forgiveness."

She was still so defensive over him.  Johnny caught onto it,  quickly,  which is exactly why he needed her help.  "Robby wants to change,  Sydney.  He got out of that cobra crap.  He just needs help."

"He needs to learn how to help himself."

She stood up from the swing and took small steps towards the pool.  She chewed on her thumb in thought.  Johnny still sat there.  "And what about Miguel?"  He voiced. 

She scoffed.  "What about him?"

"It doesn't take a genius to see that you still care about him,  Frenchy.  That's what we have in common.  I care about both of them.  I-I screwed up with them,  okay?  I'm trying to make it right but I need them to make it right,  also.  You know them better than anyone,  especially Miguel."

Her coffee eyes stared at the still blue water.  She remembered a time when her and Robby were friends,  when he was still in Miyagi Do and he was so sweet.  Then,  it was like he became a completely different person once Cobra Kai and Tory got in his head.  He wasn't the same person she knew before.  She was right,  he didn't deserve Miguel's forgiveness.

But how she could she help Johnny with them when she didn't want to forgive Miguel herself.  She didn't want talk about their issues,  or their feelings,  she only wanted to forget. By helping Johnny, she was allowing the boy to come back into her life and it fucking terrified her. Sydney turned around and faced the man. "Why are so devoted to getting them to make up?"

Johnny's eyes flickered to his jeans for half a second, the question seemingly making him nervous. "Well, uh. . ." He hesitated. "Carmen and I, uh—" he looked at her again. "She's pregnant."

Her face softened.  "What?"

"She,  uh,  she found out a little bit ago and I've been going crazy over it.  We haven't told Miguel or Robby because they've still got this rivalry going on and she doesn't want it to keep going on when the baby gets here and. . ."  He paused.  "I already screwed up with Robby,  and I'm screwing it up with Miguel.  I don't want to screw up this time.  Not again."

The British girl blinked her eyes and a smile slowly grew on her lips.  "You're going to be a dad again?"

He narrowed his eyes.  "Why are you—"

"You're going to be a dad again!"  She repeated brightly and sprinted back to the swing.  She fell by his side and wrapped her arms around his neck.  "Oh,  Johnny,  I'm so happy for you!"

"Yeah,  yeah,  yeah,  thanks."  He awkwardly responded and patted her arm.  "What do you say,  Frenchy,  will you help me?"

She opened her eyes and loosened them from his neck.  They fell into her lap.  "Look,  the thing I can tell you is that if you want Robby and Miguel to make up,  you need to get them to talk to each other.  Don't let them make their own decisions.  Force them in the same room together.  Let them battle it out."

He raised his brows.  "Battle it out?"

She hummed.  "They've been keeping all this anger towards each other bottled up for so long,  let them finally get it all out.  Let them realize that fighting's not worth it.  They're both better than that."  As she spoke,  she sadder she started to feel on the inside.  Karate tore everything apart;  her friendships with so many people,  it almost caused Miguel to die,  Sam still had nightmares,  Eli was damaged by it. . . Everyone she knew still had fear in them from what karate caused in their lives.  "It's time for the all the fighting to stop."

Johnny took Sydney's advice as seriously as he could.  He knew deep down in her heart that she still cared about Miguel and Robby but she was too afraid to admit that she did.  She was right.  The fighting needed to stop.  "You wanna hang on to your grudge?  Fine.  At least be a man about it.  Put your fists where your mouths are."  He lectured the teenage boys. 

Miguel and Robby looked confused.  "You want us to do what?"  His son questioned.

Let them battle it out.  "Fight it out."  He answered out loud.  "No points.  No mats.  Just keep fighting until you get it all out out of your systems."

"What,  here?  Now?"  Miguel asked that time. 

"It's a time.  This is a place.  Unless that was just talk?"

"Not for me."  The Diaz boy shook his head and his eyes turned to his rival.

Robby shrugged challengingly.  "Or me."

"All right.  Let's get on with it."  Said Johnny.  He backed up slightly.  "Let's hope she's right about this."  He muttered to himself.

About a million things were running through Miguel's mind.  1.  He hated Robby Keene.  He hated how one mistake almost costed him his entire life and he never even got an apology. 

2.  He hated that Johnny was trying to push them together.  They weren't friends,  or acquaintances,  they were simply two boys who happened to love the same person and that person just so happened to be Robby's dad,  and he was reminded that every single day when he thought about not having his own father.

3. He hated how much karate changed everything for the worst.  It wasn't about helping himself anymore or helping others,  and it was now about revenge and overpowering.  That's not what he wanted.  He wanted to go back the way things were before when he was still happy,  when his friendships didn't get ruined,  and when he and Sydney were happy. 

4.  He hated himself for what we did to her.  Miguel loved her so much and he hurt her in the worst way possible.  That wasn't him.  The old Miguel would've never done that to her.  But he also hated how she didn't understand.  Finding his father was the biggest obstacle in his life and he wanted her to know that but a part of him felt like she didn't care.  He hated how he was too scared to simply talk to her about.

With every punch he threw at Robby,  and every kick,  the more the anger he was keeping inside boiled over.  He remembered everything.  The school fight,  the hospital,  the pain,  the tears,  the suffering,  and his life was overtaken by anger.  Miguel didn't want to be angry anymore.  That's why when he had Robby against the railing of the second floor of the apartment building,  fear in his eyes,  anger in his,  he couldn't do it.  He had to break the cycle before he allowed it to break him even more.

"Why'd you hold back?"  Robby voiced when Miguel dropped his fists.

"I didn't get into karate to hurt people.  I did it the badass and to find balance."  He told him,  thinking about his younger self.

"Yeah,  I understand that."

"Last time we fought like this,  uh,  how come you didn't hold back?"  Miguel asked the question he wanted to ask for a long time.

Robby shook his head.  "I wanted to finish the fight.  I mean,  not like that.  I just. . . I . . . I had tunnel vision and I got so angry that I just. . ."  He tried to explain.  "I mean,  I barely knew where we were.  I'd take it back in a second if I could."

From where Johnny stood and listened,  he grinned to himself.  God dammit,  she was right.  "So,  is it over?"  He voiced and they turned and looked at him.  "Are you guys good?"

They each gave the slightest of kids.

"Thank God,  cause if you still hated each other when the baby gets here. . ."  He let slip.

At his words,  they titled their heads.  "The baby?"  Miguel said with a breathy voice.  "Wait,  what?  Like you and my mom?"

Johnny sighed.  "Yeah,  we're,  uh,  having a baby."  He confirmed out loud.  "We were supposed to tell you together,  so ace surprised."

Miguel's face lit up.  "Holy shit!"  He belted out in excitement.

"Yeah,  like that."

Robby's smile took up his face.  "Dad,  that's. . . That's awesome.  That's awesome!"

The man felt relief when they hugged him.  It was like a weight had finally been lifted from everyone. 

"How did you know this would work?"  Robby asked when they got back downstairs.

"I didn't,"  Johnny replied.  "It was Sydney."

Miguel stopped in his tracks.  "Wait,  what?"  He quickly asked.

"I,  uh,  went to her house and asked for help.  Figured she knew what to do since she always seems to have the right answer,"

Robby smiled a little and looked at Miguel,  seeing the confused and slightly panicked look on his face.  "What?  I-I. . ."  He stuttered.

"Said I should have you two battle it out,"  he spoke her exact words.  His eyes flickered to Miguel.  "She knows you better than you think."

Robby tapped his arm.  "Dude,  you gotta talk to her."

"I-I can't.  I mean,  I tried.  She doesn't want anything to do with me.  Not like I don't deserve it.  I broke her heart."  The boy said sadly.

"Yeah,  you did,"  nodded Johnny.  "It was a shitty thing to do.  But you can make it right.  Go talk to her."

"B-But. . . But—"  he stuttered again and looked between the father and son.  "I don't have a car."

Robby looked to his dad and Johnny looked to him.

Sydney was reading a book in the living room when she heard the doorbell go off. She bookmarked her chapter in The Secret History and walked over to the door. Her eyes widened when she saw Miguel on the other side of the door. "Miguel, what are you doing here?"

He looked terrified. "I, uh, I have a lot to say." He admitted hesitantly.

Her dark eyes looked over his shoulder and saw Johnny's van in her driveway. She saw Robby in the backseat. "Is that Robby? You guys made up?"

He quickly nodded. "We did. Your plan worked. And my mom's having a baby." He said and a giddy smile appeared.

She felt herself smile slightly. "Yeah, Johnny told me. I'm really happy for them."

"When he told me that it was your plan, I started to freak out. I-I didn't think you cared, at all," Miguel continued breathlessly. "But I know that you do and I'm tired of being scared to talk to you,"

Sydney stood there in the doorway,  quietly,  and she let him talk.

"I know I hurt you.  I regret it every day.  It's the worst thing I've ever done in my entire life.  I never should've left like that.  I-I wasn't thinking clearly and,  uh. . . The only thing I could think of was finding my father and even that didn't work out."  He said with a slight laugh.  "I risked so much and it wasn't worth it,  losing what we had.  I-I was just so scared that you would understand,  that you would be angry at me for leaving.  But I needed to know,  Syd.  I had to find him."

"Miguel,  I'm not angry that you went looking for you dad,"  Sydney spoke.  "I'm angry because you kept your emotions bottled up to the point where you just abandoned everything.  You abandoned me.  I would've never tried to make it about me.  I would've went with you!"  Her voice raised.

Miguel looked incredibly guilty.  He should've known.  God,  he should've known.

She put her hand over her heart.  "What mattered to me the most was you,  not some stupid karate tournament.  I was prepared to throw the whole thing away when you got hurt but it's not worth losing you again.  But then. . ."  Her eyes glossed over.  "You broke up with me in a letter.  In a letter.  Did what we have not mean anything to you?"

His eyes widened.  "Of course it did,  Syd.  You know it did.  I love you more than anything."

There was so much she wanted to say.  She opened her mouth but no words came out.  She swallowed them,  kept them hidden inside,  because she couldn't tell him the things she desperately wanted to say.  They weren't together anymore.  It wouldn't make a difference either way. 

"We can make this right,  Syd.  We can't forget about everything happened.  I just want you back."  He spoke desperately and stepped forward.

She licked her dry lips and blinked,  feeling more tears come.  "I. . ."  She got chocked up.  "I can't."

His face fell.

"This has way more to do with just us breaking up,  Miguel,"  she kept on.  "I-I don't feel like myself anymore.  Not since what happened at the All Valley.  I can't focus on anything,  I'm scared all the time,  and I. . . I feel like a failure."  She quickly wiped her eyes.  "I don't want to hold onto the past but it's for a hold on me and I can't let it go."

"I can help you, baby." He said gently.

She shook her head. "No, no, you can't. I have to help me, Miguel. I have to figure my own shit out. I-I can't keeping letting our ghosts interfere with our relationship. It's so hard."

The brown eyed boy blinked rapidly, her words sinking in till they reached the pit of his stomach. "So, what are you saying?" He muttered.

"I. . ." She swallowed a harsh lump in her throat. "I love you,"

"I love you, too." He quickly said.

"But that's not enough—"

"Why not?"

"Because you love everybody!" She expressed with a broken voice. It caused him to go silently, his brown eyes full of regret and sadness. Her face twisted with sorrow. "You have the biggest heart out of anyone I've ever met and you give it to everyone, but I want all of it. I want all of you."

"You have all of me, I promise." He was almost begging at the point.

She shook her head. "It doesn't feel like it. I-I can't love you and want you while I'm still struggling to love myself. It's not fair to either of us. I just need time. I need to know that you love me enough to let me have all of you. I need to know that you're ready for that."

Miguel's lips parted as if to say something but he didn't have any words left to say. His heart caught in his throat, blood pounded in his ears, and his whole body just hurt.

"You're still my God sent,  Miguel Diaz."  She told him before gently closing the door,  leaving him standing outside of her house.

Sydney rested her head on the door and released all of the emotions she tried to swallow.  A silent cry left her lips and she weeped,  the affects of her broken heart still painful.  She loved him but she didn't like herself.  It was unfair to put all of her struggles on him when he deserved all of her.  She forgot what it was like to truly be happy,  happy with her life and happy with Miguel.  She needed to find that part of herself again.

This is so sad because she loves him so much but she's so scared of getting hurt again,  and her self esteem is so low right now 😭

can we take a minute to appreciate that Sydney's the first person Johnny told about the baby?