“This feels like déjà vu,” Tilly said as they sat down at the same Thai restaurant as last time in the airport terminal. 

“It does. Although, this time I feel like shit and I won’t be coming back—except for the wedding, of course,” Rose said, smiling. 

“I’m really sorry it didn’t work out between you two. It would’ve been nice to have you as an official sister.”

Rose’s smile disappeared. She and Ethan had talked about marriage a few times, but he always brushed it off, claiming he was too busy.

“Shit, I’m so sorry. That was insensitive of me. But to be honest, I didn’t like the way he always put you second,” said Tilly.

“It’s fine. I didn’t like it either. He only had to care for himself most of his life, and I guess I was hoping he could compromise when the situation called for it. How wrong was I?” She smiled sadly at her best friend. “I’m so happy for you, Daniel’s a good man.”

“Can I tell you something? But you’re not allowed to tell anyone.” 

“Sure.” Rose half expected Tilly to tell her she was pregnant, and that’s why they were getting married. 

“Danny and I are looking at starting our own business.”

“Really? And what does your father think of that?”

“There’s no way I’m telling him. I’ll leave that to Danny, I think.”

“Chicken,” Rose joked.

“Of course,” she said, smiling. “After working with my father for the last six months, I’ve realised two things.”

“Which are?”

“First, if I have to work with him for the rest of my life, I’ll inevitably lose the plot. And second, I have a newfound love of pantsuits.”

Rose burst out laughing. It felt so good.

“Oh lord, I needed that,” she said, smiling at Tilly. “I must admit, you do rock the pantsuit.”

“I think so.” Tilly looked at her with a cocky smile. 

Once their food had arrived, they ate and discussed wedding ideas. If Tilly had her way, her thirtieth would look like a small backyard party, compared to what she had in store for the wedding. 

“You better be prepared for a million emails and phone calls,” said Tilly. 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Rose said, smiling. 

Halfway through her meal, Rose couldn’t stomach any more. And Tilly was too excited talking about wedding plans, so they left their half empty plates and walked towards customs.

It was another teary farewell. Rose promised to call as soon as she landed and then Tilly was gone. Alone, she passed through customs easily enough and while she waited for her flight; she went to grab some chocolate and a magazine.

Upon entering the small gift store, she was bombarded with images of Ethan and Victoria. Their faces covered almost every magazine and news cover. The world was obviously going to shit, if those two were the only newsworthy stories. 

She read a headline, ‘Mr Darcy and his Elizabeth’. Another was a bit more personal, ‘Victoria and Ethan’s steamy off screen antics’. She supposed it wasn’t untrue. It just wasn’t all that steamy.

Then she saw one that really felt like a punch to the gut. ‘Ethan is single and on the hunt for a potential Mrs Dashwood’. There was a small picture of him and Rose with a zigzagging line through it. It had been taken while they were out to dinner one night.

They looked so happy then. He was celebrating the first contract his production company had brought. He had started it with two other actors—Noah West and Jakob Stevens. Noah had brought along his girlfriend Bethany, and Emilia was Jakob’s fiancee. They were beyond beautiful, and Rose had felt so out of place.

“Ooh, look. Ethan Dashwood’s single again.” Rose heard a young woman behind her say. She opened a magazine and pretended to read, covering her face.

“I don’t normally believe stories in gossip mags, but I’m pretty sure I saw something on Instagram about him seen out and about with some mystery blond,” another woman said.

Rose knew better than to listen to unfounded gossip. She’d had plenty of experience with it over the last year. But that didn’t stop the pain she felt at hearing he might have moved on already. 

“He should date that Victoria chick. They would make the most beautiful babies on the planet.”

“Yeah, she’s way better looking than that weird foreign girl he was dating. Like, what was that all about?”

“I heard she was unemployed and only after his money.”

That was Rose’s cue to leave. That was another thing she hadn’t expected when dating Ethan—all the horrible lies spread about her. People could be so cruel. 

The chocolate and mags forgotten, Rose went straight to her gate and waited. She’d had enough of the outside world, so she put her headphones on and listened to a playlist of her favourite songs that reminded her of home.

She had almost drifted off when a flight attendant tapped her on the shoulder.  

“The flight is boarding now,” she smiled politely.

“Oh, thank you,” Rose said, putting away her headphones and pulling out her passport and ticket. 

She had changed her ticket from first class to premium economy while she was at Tilly’s. It was much cheaper, and she transferred what she owed back to Ethan. He’d paid for the tickets, but now that they had broken up, she didn’t want to be indebted to him.

She felt much more at home in economy, but with the added benefit of extra room and privacy of premium, she decided this was how she’d fly from now on.

Unfortunately, it wasn't long after taking off that she felt her stomach doing flips. She didn’t normally get motion sickness, but she had been feeling rubbish of late.

She quickly rifled through the contents in the seat's pocket in front of her, looking for the airsick bag.

As soon as she’d found it, she yanked it open and filled it with her partially eaten dinner. The person next to her quickly rang for backup and as soon as the attendant arrived, headed for the back of the plane to get away from the stench.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t normally get sick on planes,” Rose said, wiping at the sides of her mouth.

“It’s absolutely fine. You’d be surprised at how often this happens,” the attendant said with a kind smile.

She took the bag from Rose and made sure she had another on hand, just in case. She left to dispose of it, then returned with a bottle of water and a wet napkin.

“Here, this should make you feel better,” she said, handing them over.

Rose thanked Julie, the attendant, and wiped down her face, then took a big gulp of water. She took a couple more pain killers and closed her eyes. If she could sleep, she wouldn’t have to worry about throwing up for the entire flight. Because it was a long flight. 

The last time she had travelled that distance, she hadn’t been alone. They had been in first class and so in love. He held her hand for most of the flight and kissed it whenever she looked at him and smiled. Which had been a lot. They were so happy then.

Now not even a year later and she was all alone, sick, tired and completely devastated. If she had’ve known what was going to happen after leaving nursing and New Zealand, she never would have done it.

The woman in the seat next to her returned. Rose smiled at her and not even a full minute later, she was heaving the leftovers into her new crisp white paper bag.

The sooner she could get home to cry on her mum’s shoulder, the better.