You know that feeling you get when your heart sinks to your toes, your stomach fills with butterflies, and you get a lump in your throat, hi that's me.

Well, let me specify, not me exactly, but basically what I feel like on an almost hourly basis. I can't help that every time I look in her direction I feel like I get hit by a bus. It is frustrating though.

Like, what is this emotion? It feels like dread, happiness, sadness, and depression at the same time. Like I have a secret that I kept secret from myself, but how would that even be possible. They say that no one knows you like you do but most of the time I couldn't even tell you why I'd been staring at this random girl/guy for actual hours on end, thinking about how soft their hair must be, or how deep their eyes seem to go, or why their hands settle down on the table the way they do. My own thought process is a complete mystery to me.

I mean, I'm not, like, crazy or anything, I just like people, I guess. I don't really know how to explain it. It's just a big mess. What would you even call this?