⊱J'ai peur⊰

I'm afraid

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Puffs of warm breath left my lips to mingle with the cold air. I twirled on the ice and Jimin clapped, wowing. We were skating together perhaps for the last time.

He held my hand and glided us through the frozen lake. "Are you feeling okay?"

I smiled at him. "Yeah."

"You know, I was thinking," he started. "I always wanted to hold onto love from other people and wanted more of it. I was afraid it would be gone and leave me cold if I didn't work harder and show a shinier version of me... Every love I experienced was conditional. It all left me when my body got permanently damaged."

I hummed, squeezing his hand. "There were people who still loved you after that. You have to give yourself credit. You inspired and brought joy to so many."

"What about you?" He moved in front of me and skated backwards. "Will you still continue to love me when this ends?"

I stared into his deep, vulnerable eyes, nibbling on my lips. "I don't know how we'll be when it all ends. But my feelings won't change. I'm just afraid."

He moved closer, holding my hip with his free hand. "Afraid of what?"

"Of what will happen. We'll have to be enemies again. We can't be together anymore. I'm afraid. I don't want this to end." I held his cheek and we slowed down to a stop. "How I wish time would stop right now."

His forehead touched mine and he closed his eyes, whispering, "I'm afraid, too. I want to be like this forever. Everything is just so right. Everything is finally in place, just how it should have been before. I want to live like this. With you."

I moved closer to place a chaste kiss on his lips but he claimed mine again to kiss me more. We still had time. Alarm clock wasn't going to ring yet and I could continue dreaming just a little more.

When we parted, he placed something on my head and I touched it to feel a headband with some decorations.

"What is it?" I chuckled. "Did you put something funny?"

"It's a snowflake headband." He grinned, brushing my hair.

I groaned. "Not the snowflake again."

"No, but you love snow," he defended with a pout. "It suits you, too! It's really cute. Like you."

I laughed and thanked him before pulling him to continue skating. We started spinning at one point but stumbled, losing our balance. When we fell, it was on a bed with my back against the cushion and Jimin on top of me. He must had teleported us mid-spin.

"You didn't have to," I murmured under him. "Where is this? Your home?"

"Yeah. But you were getting colder," he said, sounding concerned. It made me want to kiss him again.

I unzipped my jacket. "Then warm me up?"

His eyes darkened. I reached out to his jacket and took it off as well, but he was holding back, gulping. "How?"

"However you want."

His eyes flitted between mine. "What if I want to-"

"Yes." I pecked his lips. "I trust you."

He was always teasing me like this. But this time, he must had been surprised by my sudden bravery and forwardness since he gaped at me stupidly, not moving a muscle.

"Jimin?" I giggled, patting his cheek. "Are you there?"

He blinked, becoming a spluttering mess. "I- Yeas- I mean, yes. Are you... Are you sure?"

It was endearing how he kept wanting to make sure. I wanted to burst out laughing but I held it in. "I said I'm down for anything. Preferably something that can burn me up from the inside so I'm not cold anymore."

"Oh my- Fuck, okay." He licked his lips, eyes moving down my body, trying to think about what to do.

"Jimin," I called, moving his face closer with a finger under his chin. His hazy eyes locked with mine. "Do you love me?"

"Yes," he said in a heartbeat. "Of course. I will never stop loving you."

"Then don't think."

I pulled him by his neck and crashed his lips against mine. He was quick to kiss me fervently, moving his lips against mine in a mind-numbing way. Passion and loved spilled from his kisses and I was panting into his mouth with my head spinning.

"Are you with me, angel?" He asked, noticing my state.

"Y-Yeah. I forgot to breathe."

His lips trailed kisses down my chin and throat before nipping and sucking on the skin of my neck, making me gasp. "Breathe, baby," he murmured into my skin, hot breath tickling it. "Please tell me when to slow down."

I nodded, whimpering when his hand slid under my shirt to caress the skin there. My chest was heaving against his body.

"I love that sound," he whispered, moving his hand further up to my chest, making my voice louder. He kissed my lips again. "You're so beautiful."

I wanted to say, "Speak for yourself" but I couldn't roll words off my tongue when it was tied with his. I was already burning up but I wanted more. I couldn't focus on anything else but him. I only wanted to feel this moment with him because time would take me to whenever it was near the end of this life.

My illness caught me sooner than I wanted and I was hospitalized.

Like before, my father was paying every and any doctor any amount necessary to treat me, but I already knew it was hopeless. It still hurt just as bad as it did back then if not more.

My father and aunt and Aerin visited me often. Jimin more often than them since he could teleport. He was healthier than ever and I was happy. But he would always wear a frown whenever he was around, asking if I was feeling okay and talking about how much he hated my illness. I would try to kiss his frown away but he was always so sulky. How amusing that he was normally a flirty and charming guy on television.

Time was ticking and I just had one last thing to do.

A promise before I died.

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Sorry for robbing you of the smut scene, I still can't write it lol. I tried 🥲
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Thank you for reading 🌸