Doe's POV:

I paced my way aimlessly around this room, the back of my brain counting down the seconds until Layla was supposed to be here.

I'd love to just sit down on the couch and actually relax during this time, but Layla has constant access to this room, and the one time she walked in on me while I was sitting on the couch was one of the most painful experiences with her I could remember.

That and Xander got an earful from her about 'training his pets'.

He never did anything about it.

Back then I thought it would have been the first thing he'd ever scold me about, but he didn't even say a word.

Not even a warning glance.

I think he knew that I understood where he stood in accordance with that.

That when we were in here, I didn't have any limits as to what I could and couldn't do.

That just for my own sake, I should do as she prefers whenever she arrives.

And now he at least warns me whenever she's about to come by so I can prepare accordingly.

Which was why even though he didn't care what I did, I set my own limitations around what I could do.

I just kept it within basic common sense.

Directly, he's never hurt me. Never punished me, never even yelled at me, and that's exactly how I wanted to keep it.

Through the almost two years he's had me I think I've figured most of it out, but it doesn't seem like I've ever come close to making him mad.

I couldn't even imagine him like that.

It didn't fit him.

We've argued and bickered countless times, I've yelled at him and called him on all the recent stupidity he's taken part in.

Something I knew no other vampire I've seen would even come close to allowing.

I'd like to think it's because he feels guilty about what he puts me through, but maybe that's just wishful thinking.

If he really felt guilty then he should put an end to this.

I felt my chest tighten at the miraculous thought of that happening.

Even if he'd let me get away with it, I didn't want to make his life a living hell.

He was doing that himself already.

Deep down I'm sure that he knew it, but whether or not he's accepted it is a different story.

I paused my pointless walking, my hands fidgeting with each other near my chest.

closing my eyes for a second, I focused on calming my breathing.

My heart wasn't usually pounding this hard at this point.

Looking down I debated just sitting on the floor for a minute.

That thought quickly became a 'no.'

I didn't like being stationary whenever she walked in.

It made it too easy for her.

And it made me feel like I was surrendering to a fight I already knew I was going to lose.

Losing or not, there was no way I was going to allow myself to be a sitting duck for her.

Either way, I knew the predator always got what she came here for.

I guess it was just less demeaning for myself to know that I stood strong as she took my blood.

I continued my pacing, realizing that my nerves were skyrocketing compared to what I'm used to.

Why was I so much more nervous this time?

As awful as it sounded, this kind of situation was something that I grew used to in a way, and thus I became less and less anxious about it.

Of course, I still felt the fear. I'd consider myself a lunatic if that ever went away, but it was usually a fear I could hide within me.

Glancing down at my fingertips, the trembling was too noticeable.

If Xander were to step out right now, he'd be able to see it.

I knew with his freaky sensing ability, he knows already, but I didn't want him to see it.

For some reason, the absolute last thing I wanted him to see me as was weak.

It had become somewhat of a complex.

Going through what I do with Layla and not having been cut down into a trembling, submissive, mindless excuse for a human was the closest thing I could think of to being a 'fuck you' to the vampire that basically runs both my and Xander's life.

Even if it was just all in my head...

Even if... It was still an accomplishment I wanted to keep.

I've seen what happens to other pets.

How they so easily give in to the vampires around them. How they have so little respect for themselves that they're oblivious to how they're being treated.

They let fear consume them and form them into obeying robots.

Not that I could blame them.

In this society, it's the way they're expected to be.

Trembling, compliant blood bags, being left to beg to see their next day.

The sad thing was, I know that would have probably been my fate as well if I dealt with Layla alone.

That's what I would have become.

But my circumstance was strange.

I had two very different extremes on the same spectrum and that balance built me into this.

I had both the vampire that probably would have killed me 60 times over by now and the other who did everything in his power to keep me alive and comfortable.

Because of that, I didn't want him to look down on me.

I didn't want him to view me as weak.

Although the fact that the vampire that was actually keeping me alive cut us off of his medical support, my life wasn't as certain.

I may be mentally strong but at the end of it all, I was a human against a blood crazy vampire.

She could kill me tonight if it's bad enough.

I swallowed hard, hands grasping their opposing upper arm as I turned towards where he was.

From where I stood, I could see him from across the room, standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror.

I just watched as he ran his fingers through his hair to get it out of his face, just for it to fall back exactly where it was before.

A scene I've seen very many times before.

"You know what would help?" I asked, using this as a way to get my mind off of Layla.

A saw a slight smile raise on his face before he exhaled a quiet laugh, "Let me guess," he began, knowing this was a conversation we've had a lot, "A haircut?"

"A haircut" I confirmed.

I've been insisting on one for months now, and every single time he's refused it.

He'd been growing out his hair enough so that it nearly matched Nico's, but he never really did anything with it.

So it just stayed as a mess of shaggy blond waves that seemed to just have a mind of their own.

Which included sitting in front of his face more often than not.

So on the days that Lalya wanted to come over and he decided he didn't want to look like a mess, his hair didn't want to cooperate.

He stepped away from the mirror and into the doorway between the bedroom and bathroom, pulling his hair back like he was going to put it in a ponytail.

The hair on the front half of his head wasn't quite long enough and therefore escaped his grasp before he just released all of it to allow it to fall back into the mess it was before.

He even shook it out a bit to add extra effect to his next words, "But my hair takes forever to grow out and it's almost where I want it," He defended.

"What? In your face one-hundred percent of the time? Is that what you're going for?"

He just shrugged, "I could clip the bangs back with one of your hair clips if I really need to, but yes, " the sarcasm began to lace itself through his voice, " In my face is exactly what I'm going for."

I rolled my eyes, knowing that I've never once seen him clip his hair back and instead have to watch him tuck it away every two minutes.

I opened my mouth to speak my thoughts, but the sound of the door unlocking caused me to bite my tongue.

Literally.

In fact, my whole body froze as my heartbeat decided to skyrocket.

I had to stop myself from taking a step back as Layla opened the door and let herself in to remind myself that I'm better than that.

I'm stronger than that.

I repeated those words in my head as I watched.

"Layla!" Xander greeted as he quickly stepped over to her, "Welcome back. How was your trip?"

Again, him trying to have an actual conversation with her.

And now for her to return back an answer that ends the conversation, but still seems like she's not completely blowing him off.

She'll probably throw in some sort of compliment or 'I missed you' just to make sure She has him right where she wants him.

At her beck and call, wrapped right around her finger

She started with an exaggerated sigh, practically slamming the door shut, "My sisters decided not to come last minute, so it was just Lucien and I, Which was fun but... interesting. You know how brothers are."

The way she spoke caused that familiar anger to grow within me again as it did every time she came in here.

She spoke like she was oblivious to everything yet had a small whine in every word she said, grasping and pulling for any sort of sympathy she could get from him.

Any sort of pining attention.

And of course, he handed it to her on a silver platter.

"Indeed I do, but I'm sorry your sisters decided not to go. Do you know why they didn't?"

An attempt to further the conversation, which is most likely to be cut short."

"I don't, but I'm just happy to be back here again to see my Alex again." She cooed, leaning in closer to him.

There it was.

'My Alex.'

The words that keep him right by her side.

The way she said it made me want to gag.

And the way he blushed, showing that it worked just sickened me more.

It sickened me how hard she was playing him and how easily he fell into it no matter how many times I tried to tell him what she was doing.

Manipulative bitch.

"Now, I'd love to stay and chat, but the place we went didn't have and fresh blood slaves so I am absolutely starving."

Just like countless times before, I saw that light leave his eyes.

Something you'd have to see hundreds of times before to know what was going on behind them.

Still, he kept his smile.

That just faintly broken smile.

"Ah, right," He began, trying his best to keep the same tone he had prior, "I understand."

She thanked him before turning her attention to me.

I stared right back, lifting my chin, squaring my shoulders, and standing my ground.

My panic was there and stronger than ever but I wouldn't let them see it.

I wouldn't let her have that satisfaction.

Although my glare might have been too much once I saw the sickening smirk that grew on her face as she saw mine.

"Ah," She began, taking a couple steps towards me, "It seems I was gone a bit too long and that this one forgot her place," She spat.

She was taking my glare as a challenge.

One I was bound to lose, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel great in the moment.

But the moment was all I had because I was sure I just made this ten times worse.

"I... uh..." Xander muttered, struggling to find some way to defend me as he sent me a look of 'what the hell are you doing?'

"Oh don't worry," Layla replied, "I'll be happy to fix her for you real quick."

Then all my bravery shriveled down into nothing once I saw her legs tightening to pounce.

Next thing I knew my back was slamming against the back wall of the room, effectively knocking the wind out of my lungs.

My fear only showed itself for a second. Through a gasp that came out as an empty choke.

I quickly fought to regain my breath, only to realize the hand on the top of my throat preventing me from doing so.

The adrenaline luckily kept me from feeling anything from the initial impact, but it couldn't save me from needing air.

She just stood there, face inches from mine, those disgusting gold eyes staring back into my own.

She flashed her fangs before dragging her tongue across them.

Both of my hands grabbed at her wrist, trying desperately to pull her off of me.

I knew I couldn't top the strength of a vampire, but that didn't stop me from trying.

She responded by pressing harder against my throat until my head raised and a pained whimper managed to pass my lips.

"Layla..." Xander called out from behind us.

I looked towards him for just a split second.

His eyes were wide in distress, the way they switched between the two of us showing that he didn't know what do to.

He never did, and thus I stopped relying on him.

Layla too, ignored him, instead leaning in close to my ear.

"Oh you never fail to make this fun," She practically purred in my ear, "That's why I like you."

Not a second later and her fangs were in my shoulder, her hand never letting up on my throat.

I wanted to fight.

Despite knowing how badly I'd lose I wanted to risk everything just go get a good punch in.

Just to lift up my legs and kick her off of me.

I hated her.

With every fiber of my being I hated her.

I hated the hold she had on me after the years I've been going through this.

The involuntary terror she so effortlessly pulls from me from what she did to me when I was younger.

I hated that I was terrified of her, regardless of the bravery I taught myself to have.

My nails dug themselves into her wrist as my need for air became dangerous.

I could feel my chest convulsing as it begged for oxygen.

I could feel my whole body writhing in an attempt to get her to lose her hold.

She didn't.

As if my struggles were no obstacle at all, she kept taking gulp after gulp of my blood.

My eyes squeezed shut as tears began to brim in them.

No. I'd never let her see them.

That dark tingly feeling began in my head, a feeling I was all too familiar with.

She'd stop once I pass out.

Maybe not drinking my blood, but at least take her hand off of my neck.

Or at least that's how this normally works.

"Hey Layla, I think she got the point so can you ease up a bit? I gotta take her to go see Nico tomorrow." Xander asked in a surprisingly convincing nonchalant voice.

She paused at the mention of Nico's name, removing her fangs from my skin.

My eyes widened at the lie that just came out of his mouth.

He's never done that.

"What for?" She asked, finally removing her hand from my neck.

My vision blurred as I finally sucked in a breath, my body crumbling completely as she drew away from me.

I landed on my hands and knees, coughing and sputtering through my much needed deep breaths.

My speeding heart and aching lungs left me trembling on the floor, one hand clutched against my chest as I felt the warmth of my blood drip from the wounds in my shoulder.

Their conversation continued through the ringing in my ears.

"He got a new pet recently and we wanna see how they get along," He lied.

He was a convincing liar, I'll give him that.

"New pet?" She questioned.

there was a silence before she eventually gave in with a very dissatisfied sigh.

"Fine. I guess just this once, but you owe me one. Tell Nico I said hello."

He let out a sheepish laugh.

"I will, and I promise I'll make it up to you."

They exchanged a few more words but I was more focused on trying to get the awful feeling of suffocating to go away.

My whole body felt heavy and my vision handt gone back to normal yet.

Both familiar feelings that I was trying in vain to fend off.

I think with all the times I've gone through this, my body forced me out of consciousness as a defense mechanism.

Or at least that's the only explanation I could come up with as to why this happens so often.

No matter how hard I tried to fight it, I couldn't fend it off forever.

The pain wasn't there when I was unconscious.

Nor was the fear.

It was an escape from all of this.

I hadn't even realized Layla left until I saw Xander kneeling in front of me and felt him gently lifting my head

"What the hell was that?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!"

His voice echoed in my ears

Even now there wasn't anger in his voice nor on his face.

Just worry.

"A little bit," I had the energy to croak out that joke.

He didn't seem to find it funny judging by his silence.

Instead, he licked his thumb and carefully placed it over the holes she put in my skin.

I flinched at the touch and the pain that radiated from it.

Yet another thing I hated Layla for.

She took away my ability to be touched without thinking of her.

Her tight holds, the bruises I've gained from her, and the claws that have pierced my skin on multiple, multiple occasions.

It's the only thing I can think of and it clouds my mind every time anyone else touches me as well.

My body reacts as if it's her.

It prepares itself to be hurt.

I knew Xander was aware of how I reacted, and most of the time he avoided it.

But sometimes It couldn't be avoided.

I blinked away any remaining tears in my eyes, a slight pant passing my lips as my body suddenly felt hot.

"I'm okay," I spoke through the pain in my throat, pushing his hand off of me.

I could tell I wasn't going to make it much longer since I could feel my body trying to shut itself down.

And this new heat in my body wasn't exactly helping.

I think it was making me break into a sweat.

"Doe, you just tried sizing up a vampire and almost suffocated I don't think you're-" He stopped, I think noticing now what I was going through.

Again I flinched despite how intentionally light his touch was against the back of my neck.

"And you just broke into a fever," He spoke, mostly to himself.

I just barely heard him curse under his breath.

"Does that happen often after you almost get asphyxiated?" I asked, still trying to lighten the mood.

I didn't want him to worry.

I didn't want him to see me as something he needed to take care of.

I can handle myself.

Oh god, my head was spinning.

And I still wanted to ask him why now of all times he decided to stop her.

Even though I already had the answer.

He's fully aware that I'd be dead without his brother's medical care, yet I was surprised he even had it in him to tell her to stop.

To lie to her.

I let out a quiet laugh to myself.

In its own way, I considered that a win.

That was the last thought I remembered before all the pain in my body stopped, and my world went dark.