Xander's POV

I sat at my desk, my chin resting on one hand and a pen spinning between my first two fingers in the other.

I'd been trying to read over this document for the upcoming blood collection for about an hour, trying to mark it and jot down the questions and concerns I had, as well as suggestions to make it run smoother.

But through all of this time, I had just barely gotten through the second paragraph.

My eyes squinted at the realization, my gaze trailing over to the other stack of papers that I had to get through as well.

A quiet, stultified groan rumbled from my chest.

God this is so BORING.

Why the hell did Nico and I need to do all of this when we were basically just playing security that day?!

I had debated multiple times to just do it later, but I really didn't want to just dump it on Nico.

Again.

I knew right about now he was having his little check-in meeting with Lord Bronwyn.

Which meant he wouldn't need these papers for a few more days, but knowing myself I'd just procrastinate last minute and then really hate myself.

Setting the pen down, I stretched my arms above my head and leaned back as far as my desk chair would allow, releasing everything with a quick exhale.

I probably wouldn't get a lot done tomorrow night since there was a good chance Layla would come by.

A knot tied itself in the pit of my stomach as soon as that thought crossed my mind.

A reaction that was becoming more and more apparent, but especially ever since the last time she visited...

I turned my head just enough to see Doe.

She sat crisscrossed on the couch, plucking at the strings on my old violin in a way that told me she was trying to flesh out a tune.

It was a violin I had brought from home, back when I learned to play to pass the time.

I brought it with me here in case I ever got the urge to play it.

But I never really did, so instead it just gathered dust in my closet.

Or at least it did until a few months ago when she found it and seemed to take a quick infatuation to it.

So of course I let her mess with it.

It was better than her being bored all the time.

She held it like a guitar, which was partially because the bow was so old and worn that it wouldn't work and therefore left her with nothing else.

I would have offered to get a new one, but she seemed content with how she was doing it.

Who was I to say she was doing it wrong?

I listened for a second, seeing her eyes tight in focus as she plucked one string at a time, her left hand then shifting to push down against the strings on the neck of it, then again and again with a different note every time.

It wasn't in any correct key signature, but it didn't necessarily sound bad.

All I taught her was the basics of everything, but that was only because she asked.

She liked figuring things out on her own.

I just continued to watch, thinking back for a minute to how she's changed since I initially purchased her.

In all honestly, I don't think I was ever meant to be in any position of power over one human life like this.

Something about it never really sat right with me.

Even as a child I never had one designated human for these sorts of things, so I guess I just never got used to it.

Back then I didn't like the thought of being seen as a threat.

The thought of someone cowering as soon as I stepped into a room, and whose only purpose was to serve or feed me felt awful.

I could do things myself.

I could get blood from other sources.

I'd been doing it my whole life until then.

I know that showed after Layla insisted that I kept her myself, and it took a bit longer for Doe to pick it up as well.

Maybe it was the vampiric superiority complex that I just never grew into.

The first couple months with her were awkward.

She'd shy away from me whenever she could out of fear, and seemed surprised whenever I let her.

I never hurt her, I never fed from her except on the blood moon, and I never asked anything from her.

She got enough of that from Layla

I let her do whatever she wanted in this room because the reality was, I couldn't really care less.

If anything I owed it to her from what I put her through.

I tried to keep her comfortable the best I could, I tried talking to her person to person.

I didn't like the 'master' title, and I didn't like being viewed as a predator.

As months grew into a year with her, she stopped seeing me as one.

From there she grew more into her own person, one that knew she could have differing opinions and thoughts without being punished for it.

Someone who could ask questions and know that I'd answer them.

She grew guts.

She grew hatred and I could see it in her eyes whenever Layla walked through those doors.

I'd seen that look, but just slightly different more recently when she looked at me.

It wasn't exactly hatred, but disdainful nonetheless.

That knot grew tighter, this time rising into my chest.

It amazed me the way she began to hold herself, how despite how her life is now, she grew such a strong will.

I can still see her changing and growing by the day.

Through time we grew a very odd sort of relationship.

I wouldn't consider us friends.

Not even close.

With all I've forced her through, there's no way in hell I deserved that title.

Her head lifted to me, I guess finally realizing that I was looking at her.

She cocked a brow not even a second after, "What?"

I blinked at her, slowly straightening my posture.

"The E string is flat," I replied casually, extending my hand towards her a couple of inches before doing the 'come here' motion with my fingers.

I always had to tune it.

She's tried attempting it herself but can never get the pitch quite right.

Lifting herself from the couch, she made her way over to me.

I took the instrument as it was handed to me, leaning back again as I quietly plucked and turned the appropriate peg.

I could see from the corner of my eye Doe looking over the papers I was going through.

"That's all you got done," She asked accusatorily.

That knot oddly lessened.

"You try reading this and pretending like you care about how it goes," I responded, making slight alterations to the rest of the pegs while I could.

I rolled my chair back as she looked closer at the paper.

"I can't be that hard," She remarked, eyes skimming the papers, "Don't you do this like every month?"

"Yeah and coming up with new things to pretend do care about each month without becoming repetitive gets difficult," I complained.

She let out a short hum, "That's true. You're better at pretending not to care than pretending to care."

My movements paused for a moment

Okay ouch.

But was she wrong?

"Yeah yeah okay whatever," I began, rolling my chair back to where it was just enough to not touch her.

She wasn't too fond of any physical touch. At all.

So I avoided it whenever we were alone.

I held the violin out for her to take, "Maybe now that your flat E string is fixed, I'll be able to focus,"

She gave me a look that told me she knew that definitely wasn't my problem before taking the instrument.

"Maybe and... Thank you." was all she said before turning and moving back to her previous spots.

She always gotta little awkward when it came to thanking me, but she did it anyway.

Which was also something she did on her own through time.

It wasn't often, but she did it, and I returned the favor whenever I could.

I watched her settle back in before returning my attention to this godforsaken document.