I sat silently as my thoughts continued to scramble around my head. My legs were crossed on the chair, with my sun-kissed arms extended out on the table. To someone just walking into the room, I'd appear relaxed and at home. In reality, I was strung out, ready to break at any moment. I was destroyed, my brain a constant stream of hysterical thoughts as I listened halfheartedly to the noises around me. Noises of a home... Zach, Lydia's husband and once Justin's closet friend, talking quietly on the phone... Cartoons playing on the TV... Lydia attempting to coax little Jacob into eating his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

No one paid attention to the slumped figure, and that was okay. They gave me space.

Absently, my fingers played with the wedding band and engagement ring shackled to my left hand. Rolling them slowly around, I also traced the solitary diamond in the middle of the engagement ring. The metal burned me, scorching every memory I had of Justin. It was all fake; every moment in our lives.

He was right; I was no wife. I hadn't been for months. These rings were a betrayal. Where once they signified living as one unit, now they meant nothing. They were just expensive pieces of theatrical jewelry.

I should have removed them months ago, I thought. So, I slipped off the bands, feeling the cool metal pass over my hot skin. I felt nothing when they fell on the table, the soft thumps almost silent compared to the roaring nothingness in my ears.

Bile rose in my throat, the acid burning as it climbed higher. Closing my eyes, I swallowed it back down, forbidding myself another moment of weakness.

I will never survive if I continue to be weak. I struggled against the urge to cry, yet again, at the unfairness.

"Jess, the three of you can stay here as long as you need too. We've got plenty of room," Zach offered as he walked to my side, his soft honey-brown eyes full of concern. His very presence started to calm my nerves. Staying there would be a welcome vacation from life. For a moment, I almost accepted the offer.

"It'll be fun, like a grown-up sleepover. Plus, Zach will have someone to play Gears of War with. Jace will love it." Lydia sat down next to me and grabbed my cold hands.

I watched my friend, studying her every curve and angle. She was pretty, her round face alive with rosy cheeks. Green eyes always laughing. Today her long sunny blonde hair was pulled up into a messy bun.

I jerked forwards as coldness suddenly touched my hot skin. My hands flew up to touch a small chain around my neck. Zack had picked up my ring and strung it on a small silver chain. Standing behind me, he was clasping it around my neck.

"He's in there somewhere. Don't give up on him yet," he murmured as he rubbed my shoulders lightly. Tears stung my eyes again. How could I not give up?

I fingered the ring as it laid perfectly in the crevasse between my breasts.

Jealousy shot through me as I watched Zach move over to his wife and kiss the top of her head. Zach and Lydia had it all put together, the foundations of their relationship stable, secure. I once thought my own relationship had solid foundations, and it was... until the large gaping cracks appeared.

"Thanks for the offer but—" I paused as I cleared my throat, my voice a small squeak compared to the anger that was stirring within me. "That's my kids' home. He can leave."

"Jess, you've been through a lot. Maybe you guys just need a break?" Lydia softly suggested.

I bit back a hard laugh. We needed a break months ago.

"I need to go pick up the kids from school. Thank you for letting me hang out for a bit. I'll call you later." I got up, my bare feet slapping against the cool tiled floor as I made my way to the front door. "Love you guys!" I called out before leaving the house entirely.

The heat from the sidewalk seeped into my feet, causing me to move faster.

After quietly slipping in through the open garage, I searched for a pair of shoes.

"Jessica."

Dammit. I hadn't been quiet enough and cringed at the sound of my name on his lips.

"I'm just grabbing my shoes. It's time to pick up the kids from school." I hesitated, standing still, refusing to turn around to look at him.

His words still nipped at my feelings. "I'll go with you," he murmured.

"I'd rather just get them myself," I stated bluntly. Spending any time with him in a small space was not going to be bearable. I hated being this close to him already.

"Jessica... I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I didn't mean any of it. You know when we fight I say things just to hurt you." His tone was flat and low. He didn't mean it; he never did. His apology was just to smooth out the ripples he'd caused.

"I can't do this right now," I replied quickly, spotting my cheap teal flip-flops under the hutch in the front room. I slid my foot under the large vintage hutch and captured the hiding shoes with my toes, dragging them out and slipping them onto my tired feet, keeping my back to Justin so he couldn't see the rage on my face.

"Jessica, please. I messed up. I'm sorry," he pleaded.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I prayed he wouldn't inch any closer, but he did. He put a hand on my upper back, and I reeled away from his touch, then spun around to face him.

"Don't touch me. Don't you dare touch me after what you did today," I hissed out, daring myself to look him straight in the eye.

"I didn't do anything to you earlier. All we did was fight," he protested, confusion clouding his face. Does he not realize that what we did wasn't consensual? Does he really think it was okay to grab me like that?

"Didn't do anything? You raped me. You manhandled me. What you did was not okay," I snapped.

"Rape? I did not rape you. We had sex." He backed away from me, his large hands waving in front of him, protesting the truth.

"At which point did you think I was enjoying it or even agreed to it? Did you not hear me telling you to stop?" I threw at him, furious. No, he was not going to win this one. He was not going to get out of it. I was so tired of him always having an excuse for his behavior. No more. No more fake acts of innocence. No more fake apologies. My breaths came out faster as my heart thumped in my chest.

"Jess..."

"No, Justin. No. Do not touch me. Do not talk to me. I want you out of the house."

"I'm not leaving, Jess. We can work this out."

"We're past working things out."

"Jessica."

"Justin."

"You don't give up. You never give up; that's the one thing in my life I can count on –you. You'll always there. I'm sorry. I must not have heard you," he pleaded, apparent sincerity lacing his frantic voice.

I caught myself considering caving to him, yet again. Could he really be sincere this time? Could this be real? I watched as an expression of genuine unease creased his face – the first indication of emotion I'd seen in sixteen months.

"Excuse me? You didn't hear me tell you to stop. Maybe that's because you had my head pushed into the mattress." He was a liar, a brilliant actor that could make anyone believe anything he said. I'd seen him do it before, many times before. Refusing to become another one of his victims, I stepped further away from him.

"I'm sorry. I thought you wanted to make love. It's been so long. I remember a time when you tried so hard to get me in the mood." He smiled, his white teeth gleaming, their fakeness slapping me in the face.

"That – Justin – was not making love. That was rape. Plain and simple... rape." I pinched my lips together, refusing to lower myself to another screaming match the entire neighborhood could hear.

"I'll make it up to you. I'm sorry," he pleaded again, taking another step forward.

"You aren't sorry, are you? Do even feel anything? Do you even understand the pain you caused me today? The way you not only assaulted my body but also battered my emotions with your words? Do you even care? You were hurtful, mean, a bully. Does it even matter to you?"

"I'm sorry. I was surprised when you walked into the bathroom. And then you started belittling me..."

"Belittling you... How exactly did I belittle you? By asking you why you were in my bathroom? Remember, YOU moved out of our room. You have your own room and bathroom UPSTAIRS where YOU wanted to be. Or was it my shocked reaction upon seeing my husband with a needle in his ass that gave you the impression I was belittling you?"

"Dammit, Jess. Please don't be like this. I need you. I need you to help me. I can't do this on my own."

"Why not? I've been doing everything on my own for almost two years."

"That's not fair..."

"Not fair? Please, Justin, tell me about fair."

"Jess, I know all that you've done for me." He stepped forward, his hands out, trying to grab me but missing when I stepped to the side.

"I don't have time for this. I'm late to pick up my children. Please be gone by the time we get back."

"Don't give up on me!"

You're the one that gave up, I wanted to tell him. I held on for so long; every day I prayed for him to return to us. Every morning, as my feet touched the chilly floor, I told myself that it was going to be a breathtaking day. A day filled with joy and laughter. But every day I was disappointed and let down. I tried, and now it's time to let go.

"Don't touch me, ever again." I backed away further, towards the front door, watching him warily as I went.

"Jessica, please, listen to me."

"Justin, I'm done listening to you," I stated.

When I reached the front door, I shut it behind me as he started to say something else, his voice muffled behind the thick chunk of oak. My feet hurried to the car.

School was out; I would be late. I was never late picking up Jenna and Jace, and I feverishly hoped that there wouldn't be much traffic in the quick five-minute drive to the elementary school.

After taking one last glance in the rearview mirror, I backed out of the driveway, just as Justin stepped out onto the porch and waved at me. His feet were bare and his shorts sagged under the small belly he had gained since the accident. He was nothing like the husband I once had.

Forcing my eyes off his sullen face, I drove off down the street. Maybe this was the answer to all my problems. Maybe I just needed to drive away and never look back.