tw: suicidal thoughts

I wrote this piece a while ago, when I was feeling suffocated by everything around me.

I want to scream,

I want to cry,

I want to close my eyes and die,

I want to be able to stop wondering why,

to stop wondering why I'm alive.

As the waves crash down,

burying me under their white sea foam

sweeping me out to sea,

drowning me far beneath,

a blanket of emotions sweeping over me,

choking me with its hold.

I feel the regret, I feel the pain,

I feel the sadness, I feel the hurt

I feel the betrayal, I feel the confusion

I feel lost and alone,

floating in a void of grey.

Why am I here?

Why do I exist?

What have I done,

that allows me to experience

this life

today?