CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE:
REMEMBER EVERYTHING

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MAE'S HEART WAS A fickle thing and boy was she tired of its bullshit. No matter what, she could never seem to reign in its misguided nature. Whatever path it led her down, it did so without fear of the consequences, without stopping to think that maybe she was royally fucking things up. Just when she thought she was doing the right thing, a seed of doubt would creep in and ruin everything. What if she really was making a mistake? What if she couldn't come back from this? What if the risk was greater than the reward? What if, what if, what if. Mae's life was ruled by them now, dictating where her loyalties lied, overruling any thought or vow made by her mind. They rendered sense insensible and logic illogical when it came to the pivotal moment of truth.

Embry had stopped calling her, so maybe she could blame that for her sudden feeling of imbalance. For the first time since she left La Push behind, her phone didn't ring with the telltale tone of his yearning. Soon, morning crept into afternoon then night, then the next day and the next, and she didn't hear from him once. Now Mae longed to hear his voice again. Wasn't it funny how that worked? Distance (both literal and metaphorical) really did make the heart grow fonder (and sadder) and Mae's heart was acting a fool in response.

So she did what every kind-of ex-girlfriend did when a harsh dose of reality started to hit a bit different. She reread their texts. Ones from the beginning of their relationship, the good times, followed by ones that she ignored or never read in the first place.

I miss you x

Come home.

Please just talk to me.

I'm trying to understand how you're feeling, Mae.

Why are you ignoring me?

Have fun with your sister <3

It hurt like a thousand tiny cuts, but the killing blow came towards the end. A simple I love you that echoed with such patience. Mae didn't think he'd understand anymore, that he could possibly have the patience of a saint. That teenage love could extend beyond careful tolerance of each other's insecurities.

"Hey!"

Thank God for Gideon Wu — yeah, that Gideon. As luck would have it, when Esme had mentioned a girl named Gideon who was staying with them, she had actually meant Verity's little sister — Verity, as in the girl who Mae's own sister was 'besties for the resties' with. What a small (and ironic) world.

Mae could barely look her in the eye for fear of spilling her guts. Not that she had much to keep secret. It seemed that Gideon already knew way more than she let on around her big sister. After all, she was Leah's imprint, and she seemed pretty close with the Cullens in spite of Leah's stand-offish behaviour around them.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Gideon chuckled as Mae nearly fell backwards off the wooden railing that enclosed the Cullens' back porch.

Mae stopped swinging her legs, managing to steady herself again before smiling sheepishly. "You didn't. I meant to do that."

Gideon's fingers — which were usually fiddling with the buttons on a camera or messing with the loose threads on her favourite blue cardigan's woollen sleeves — moved to nervously tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm sure you did."

She had sleek black hair much like Verity's, her face soft and heart-shaped like hers too. Even if Mae hadn't recognised her surname, or if Gideon hadn't mentioned her sister off-handedly once, it wasn't hard to pick out the similarities between them. Gideon was a mini Verity, naturally a quiet and gentle person.

"Everyone's in the living room if you'd like to join us," Gideon continued when Mae stayed quiet, not too sure what to say. "Jacob had an idea that might help Bella."

"Jake had an idea?" Both of Mae's eyebrows shot up. "Well, that's a first."

Gideon's head tilted to the side, reminding Mae of a curious Spot which had her heart panging sadly. She quickly shook the feeling away as Gideon, eager as she was to befriend Mae, asked her, "Do you know Jake well? Leah doesn't have much to say about him or any of the other wolves."

Mae hesitated, once again thinking of one wolf in particular. "You didn't meet them before all this?"

It was Gideon's turn to smile sheepishly. "I, uh... kind of found everything out by accident, and by that point Bella was already pregnant, so I just... didn't have the chance, I guess."

"Oh," Mae said as she jumped down from the railing. "Well, yeah, I know them. I'm Embry's imprint." Gideon's eyes lit up at the familiar word whereas Mae's own gaze darted for the door uncomfortably. "You were saying something about Jake having an idea?"

She didn't want to talk about it, not with anybody but especially not with Gideon. She hadn't been there since the beginning. She didn't know how hard it was being closely linked with someone. Embry could ignore her as much as he wanted. Mae could run to the other side of the world. It wouldn't change what the fates had determined for them. They would forever be intertwined in each other's lives — as lovers, as friends, as nothing but acquaintances. Leah and Gideon were so happy together, as new as their relationship was. They didn't get that yet.

Not that Mae knew anything about Leah and Gideon's relationship. She'd only seen them kiss once, but Mae wasn't so oblivious and self-absorbed that she didn't notice the expressions on their faces whenever they sought out the other. Leah's one of tentative hope, Gideon's one of wonder. She wore that expression now as she glanced across the backyard in the hopes of glimpsing Leah, even for just a second. Her disappointment was almost palpable when she failed to find her.

"Leah and Seth are running patrol right now, in case you're wondering," Mae said with the slightest of smirks.

"Oh," Gideon frowned. "Uh, I wasn't wondering. But thanks."

"Sure. You'll see your lover girl later, Gid."

"Gid?" she grimaced like Mae had slapped her.

Mae shrugged. "New nickname. I like it."

"I don't really have any nicknames," Gideon seemed to realise as she followed Mae through the back door. "I guess my Năinai calls me Sūnnǚ sometimes, but that only means granddaughter in Chinese so it's nothing very original."

"I like Gid," Mae said again, chuckling when Gideon instinctively wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "Okay then, what about Giddy?"

"Even worse. You're horrible at this."

They climbed the stairs to the living room at the same time as Alice and Jasper left it. Mae was confused and somewhat wary when Alice nudged a black-eyed Jasper as far away from them as he could get. Alice offered them a tense smile, her own eyes a darker shade of gold than usual. Mae knew the vampires in the house were struggling with their sudden house arrest. Most of them hadn't been hunting in days before the pack prevented them from doing so for the foreseeable future. Still, they seemed to have enough control around Mae, Lina, Gideon and the wolves.

Until today.

"What's going on?" Mae asked when she reached the doorway and nearly collided with Lina, who was leaving with Emmett's arm locked through hers. "Is Jake's idea that terrible?"

"Hey," Jacob glowered from where he was sitting on the couch next to Bella.

"It's just a precaution," Lina offered Mae that same tense smile Alice had worn just seconds ago. "Come on, Em. I can read you some of that new book you got me."

"I thought you'd already finished it?" Mae heard Emmett's voice say in a strained tone before they disappeared upstairs to the bedrooms.

Lina's impatience was obvious. "I'm rereading so I can annotate it."

Meanwhile, back in the living room, an antsy Finley had suddenly pushed himself away from the window and was rushing for the door.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said but he could barely spare her — or Jacob, for that matter — a glance.

Jia was quick to follow him. "I'll make sure he's okay."

Just like that, the room had emptied out. Mae was seriously beginning to dread discovering what Jake's brilliant idea was. In a matter of minutes, five of the vampires and her sister had fled. What was — Oh.

Mae's wide-eyed stare settled on the glass cup in Carlisle's hand. He'd returned from the kitchen the picture of control as he filled the cup with dark red blood from a bag like you'd find at the hospital.

"Wait, wait, wait," Jacob sat forward, jaw slack with horror. "You're going to make her drink that?"

"I think I'm going to be sick," Mae's head was spinning. She rounded on Jacob, not noticing a pale-faced Gideon sink into the chair beside Esme. The motherly woman wrapped an arm around her shoulders in comfort, though her concern was mainly focused on Bella, who hadn't moved or said much despite the conversation centering around her. "This was your idea? How are you surprised?"

"I was joking!" he exclaimed, turning to his friend. "Bella..."

"It might've started out as a joke," said Carlisle, as serious as ever with his blonde brows knitted in a line. "But it's the fastest way to test the theory."

Mae supposed it made sense, despite how gross it was. Bella's baby was half-vampire. Surely they would lust for blood in the same way that their daddy did. Speaking of Edward, he was holding Bella's trembling hands in his own, trying and failing (for obvious reasons) to bring some warmth back into her body.

"Only if you're comfortable," he whispered to her, referencing the drink that Carlisle was bringing towards her.

"I'll try anything," Bella said at last, clearly desperate.

Before Carlisle could hand the glass to her, Edward intercepted it and disappeared into the kitchen in search of something. Mae dropped onto the couch beside Jake, who'd shuffled away from Bella as a dutiful Rosalie helped her sit upright. Mae leaned her head on Jake's shoulder, determined not to think too much about Bella drinking human blood. The same type of blood that ran through her veins. The blood that would forever call to Bella if, somehow, she survived against the odds long enough to leave humanity behind.

Jake groaned as Edward returned with a styrofoam cup and straw. It did a poor job of concealing what Bella was about to consume, but it was miles better than a clear glass cup.

"If you get sick, direct your vomit stream that way," Mae warned Jacob while pointing at Edward.

Edward rolled his eyes as Jacob, unable to resist a joke at Edward Cullen's expense, let out a snort. The seconds it took Bella to lift the straw to her mouth seemed to drag on for a lifetime. The moment Mae saw blood coat the inside of the straw, she buried her head against Jacob's shoulder and clenched her eyes shut for good measure. The sigh of pleasure that fell past Bella's lips was hard enough to hear. Mae was just glad she hadn't had her dinner yet.

"It tastes... good."

As Bella continued to sip on her bloody cocktail, Carlisle began to check her vitals.

"Your pulse is already getting stronger," he said with a jubilant smile.

"It's working," Esme said, rubbing Gideon's shoulder as some of the colour slowly began to return to her face. She watched Bella curiously, no sign of the disgust that both Mae and Jacob were unable to mask.

"So it doesn't taste like blood to you?" she asked Bella, who was moving to lay back against the couch again, this time without assistance.

"I think that's enough for me," Mae decided as she moved to stand on shaky legs. "This sure has been... educational."

Jacob snickered. "You look like a baby deer learning how to walk."

Mae glared at him. "Okay, tough guy, why don't you stand up?" When Jacob stubbornly remained where he was, she grinned in triumph. "That's what I thought."

With the show now over, Mae made her way back outside to the back porch where she'd momentarily gotten to leave her thoughts behind. The sun had already set by then, casting the treeline in black, roiling shadows as a thunderstorm loomed on the horizon, distant but inevitable. Mae wanted to make the most of the fresh air as the breeze pushed against her, needing a second of relief from Bella's newest pregnancy development. As distracting as it had been, Mae's mind was truly a glutton for punishment.

Maybe the ache that lingered in her heart was from knowing. Distance made the heart grow fonder, yes, but there was no distance between them right now. Nothing physical, at least, but a treeline. No, Mae's heart wept because he was so close yet so far. She both feared and hoped that she'd accidentally catch a glimpse of him. One tortuous look before the forest swallowed him whole.

Mae Cooper was an idiot. She wasn't denying that. She sent the text before she could take it back.

Hey, you might not want to hear from me right now and I don't blame you, but I wanted you to know I miss you, I'm sorry. I'm doing this for Lina, but after it's all over I hope we can talk.

After it's all over. Just what would that look like?

The back door opened and Lina sat down beside her, dropping her head onto Mae's shoulder.

"How was...?" She couldn't seem to figure out what to say, which was rare for Lina Song.

"The bloodbath?" Mae smirked at her own joke. Lina lifted her head and promptly smacked her on the arm. "Hey! What was that for?"

Lina sighed and shook her head. "It worked then?"

"Yeah... you know, I'm only doing this for you, right?" Lina turned to her with a frown, unsure where the sudden change in subject was coming from. "Being here. You know I'm only here because you asked me to be?"

"I know," said Lina. "And I love you for it."

Mae forced a grin. "I'm a good sister like that."

"Mum and James don't seem to think so."

Mae had tried her hardest not to think about them. They called her a few times, presumably after Allison dropped off Spot (and hopefully the caravan) but they were hardly breaking the Cullens' door down when she failed to answer, so whatever pathetic excuse for a lie they'd thrown together — Mae could hardly keep track at this point — was seemingly working. Still, Lina's lips were pressed into a thin line and her eyes shone with emotion.

"I think they believe I'm going off the rails," she whispered.

Mae watched her for a moment before curling her arm around her shoulder. "They're not wrong. But if you're off the rails, then I'm right there with you."

Later, when Mae managed a few bites of the dinner Esme so nicely cooked for her and the other humans in the house — Leah excluded, as per her own stubborn nature — she risked a glance at the text she'd sent Embry and clenched an iron fist around the sorrow that threatened to rear its head when she noticed he'd read it and not replied.

It was okay. Mae would be fine.

She looked back to Lina — who had brightened when they returned back inside where Mae made an effort to watch the football with Emmett just to cheer her up — and decided, for now at least, that while her heart had absolutely no fucking clue how to get its shit together, it did know how to love, and it wasn't only made to love Embry Call. Her sister was allowed to need her too.