CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE:
THE DOPAMINE EFFECT

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

IT WAS A RARE OCCASION that Sam Uley's house was completely silent. Mae wasn't sure what to make of it. The news of what was to come seemed to linger in the air — like a hovering knife just waiting to strike, the serrated edge a glistening warning — it felt like the pack had already started to grieve each other. Emily's head was bowed low so no one could see her eyes. The blood had drained from Maggie's face, but to Mae, she seemed almost... determined. As if the story was finally coming to a close. Mae wanted to feel something, anything, but everything seemed... muted. Like Mae had forgotten how to breathe let alone think or force her heart to beat. She didn't hold Embry's hand, but she couldn't take her eyes off him either.

Was this how the Third Wife had felt in her final moments?

Perhaps, at long last, Mae understood.

She fucking hated it.

The sick feeling was one she knew would never leave again. The front door was open. It would be so easy to walk away and not look back. Instead, fear and something akin to resignation rooted her in place.

"I don't even know why we're considering this," Leah scoffed as the silence continued to stretch on. It was starting to get painful  standing there, regarding each other as ghosts, wondering who of their friends or the strangers of their hometown would be dead by the end of the month. It seemed that Leah had finally lost her patience with it. Deep down, Mae agreed. "We don't owe Bella anything."

"This isn't just about Bella," Paul snapped, but for once there was no genuine anger poisoning his words.

"Paul's right," Sam added, making Leah roll her eyes and turn her head away from him dismissively. Sam glowered but didn't take the bait. "A whole army of uncontrollable vampires can only mean one thing. We don't have a choice. We have a town to protect. Not to mention our loved ones... Your brother, Leah. Your mum. Think of them if you have to, not Bella."

Leah didn't argue, but Mae couldn't help but stare as a muscle twitched in her jaw almost instinctively, like she was using every last bit of her strength to keep from knocking Sam on his ass. The pack was silent again, though Mae knew Sam's words had found a home in their heads, and they were there to stay.

This was the whole purpose of the pack. To protect people from vampires. A whole army of them sure qualified people of protection.

Part of Mae wanted to be angry, to lash out like Leah, to find someone to blame. The reasonable part of her took the defeat and waited for what came next.

"In the morning, I'll get in contact with Carlisle," Sam said, leaving no room for discussion. "See when is best for us to start training."

Maggie stormed from the room then, the harsh sound of her footsteps like gunshots in the eerie silence. Paul was quick to follow her, slamming the door as he went, but Sam made no move to command him back. Instead, their departure, as tense as it was, invited the rest of the pack to disperse with the final decision made.

Mae longed to go home but the thought of returning to normalcy when she felt so consumed by this life that wasn't truly hers seemed rather absurd. So she forced herself to sit beside Embry, eventually resting her head on his shoulder and letting her eyes close for a moment to herself. Only a few of the pack had chosen to stay behind, and by the time Mae realised she'd fallen into that weird state between consciousness and sleep, Embry was shaking her awake and only Sam and Emily remained.

"Come on, Mae," he urged her out of her chair. Her back ached in protest, bones creaking and groaning well beyond their years, only to find relief when she stretched her arms over her head and yawned. "Let's get you home before James and Kira ground you for life."

James and Kira.

Her parents, waiting at home...

Mae knew she was forgetting something.

"Shit!" With a sudden burst of energy, Mae hastily shouted her goodbyes to a bemused Sam and Emily and all but sprinted out the door. Embry followed her with not enough urgency for Mae's liking. He eventually unlocked the car and picked up the pace under the weight of Mae's impatient stare burning daggers into the side of his head.

Once they were on the road, Mae watched the time tick by with a sense of dread growing in her gut. "Maybe it won't be this army that kills me. I'll already be dead by the time they get here."

She expected Embry to laugh, or maybe he'd just roll his eyes and scoff, having gotten used to Mae's sometimes questionable sense of humour. Much to Mae's surprise, he shook his head, like he was trying to bite his tongue to keep from saying something scathing. Refusing to look at her, he switched lanes and stepped on the accelerator. Mae watched him with raised eyebrows.

"I was kidding."

"I know."

Warily, Mae couldn't help but doubt him. "Do you, though?"

"I just think it's kinda shitty to make a joke like that when it could very easily happen, Mae. It's already nearly happened before. You seriously think I'd laugh or something?"

"Okay, I'm sorry," she exclaimed as that pit of dread expanded. Everything seemed to burn, molten lava overflowing. This was what she'd been trying to avoid in the first place. The whole night was seriously giving her whiplash.

"It's fine," Embry muttered.

That spark of annoyance had came and went like a storm rolling in on the horizon. What was left in the aftermath was silence. A strange, absent kind of feeling, tinged with the tentative hope of life coming out of hiding. Was it a false alarm? Or was the storm not over yet?

"You know I'm not going to let you die, right?" Embry's voice sounded forced. His knuckles were white around the steering wheel. "You won't be anywhere close to them, Mae. I promise you that."

It was easy to say but not necessarily in his control. Mae wasn't foolish enough to believe otherwise. Still, she gave her best attempt at a trusting smile and pressed a kiss to his knuckles as he unclenched his fist to reach out to her. Slowly, the tension bled away, and the silence wasn't so heavy. Nonetheless, time faded. James and Kira were waiting in the living room when Embry dropped her off.

"One thing!" Kira exploded the second the front door closed. "Do I no longer have authority in this house? I ask one thing of you and you can't even do that—"

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that," she snapped. Behind her, a door creaked open and closed just as quick. Lina had poked her head out for a second, long enough for Mae to spot her, but upon seeing the expression on her mother's face, she was smart enough to dip and avoid the firing line. Lucky bitch.

"Where were you?" James asked calmly. He had Spot's head resting on his lap and was idly scratching him behind his ears as Spot, too, wisely stayed out of sight.

(He was certainly catching on quick.)

Kira glowered at James, arms crossed over her chest. She always expected so much of him; the stern father, the hand of discipline, everything that was his opposite. But that was Kira and the parenting style she was comfortable with. It was not in James Cooper's nature to be unreasonably harsh or cruel. He just wanted answers, truth, as much as Mae could give him.

"I bet it was Embry," Kira muttered under her breath.

Mae rolled her eyes and bit her tongue. Dare she storm away?

"I saw that, Mae."

You were meant to.

All of a sudden, Mae felt exhausted. It was late, well past midnight, and her mind was like lead. Kira kept on talking but her words went through one ear and out the other.

"Can I go to my room?" she asked, mainly looking at James. Spot perked up when she glanced at him, his tongue poking out in a smile. "I'm really tired."

"Oh, you're tired?"

"Just let her go," James said, and Mae jumped at the dismissal. Kira's lips pursed as Spot eagerly followed her, claws tapping against the floorboards as he pranced.

Behind the hallway door, she heard James begin, "What good will come from arguing with her, Kira? Let's discuss it in the morning when you both have a clear head."

But in the morning, Mae's head was the opposite of clear.

There was a knock on her door as the sun began to peek through her curtains. Mae groaned and buried her face beneath her pillow, but the knock persisted. A moment later, James poked his head in and called her name. When Mae didn't respond, the door creaked open and he tapped the end of the bed.

"I'm up," she sighed, and in her sleepy state, prepared herself for a lecture.

He did say they'd discuss it in the morning. But James was grinning when Mae pushed the pillow away from her vision. In the dim glow of the early morning light, he was wide awake dressed in a pair of joggers, sweatpants and a zip-up jacket. Perched on his head was a red baseball cap, the only pop of colour in his outfit. 

"I'm going for a hike," he said, as if it wasn't already obvious. A tentative smile bloomed across Mae's face. James gestured at the door. "You wanna come?"

For a second, Mae hesitated. "What's the catch?"

"No catch," he said. "We just haven't hiked for a while. We've both been so busy." Mae's face dropped for a second. She tried her best to hide it but James had already noticed. "Don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about that. Embry's a nice boy, and I'm glad you're making friends. I'm just saying not to forget where you come from. Don't hold yourself back from what you want to do because you have a boyfriend now. No matter how good a kid he is."

Mae wasn't sure what to say, "This is... okay, it's way too early for this. Can we save the deep and meaningful for our hike?"

James smiled. Behind him, tapping claws announced Spot's loud arrival as he poked his head past James' legs. He tried to shuffle past but was refused entry as James let the door swing shut. "Hurry up and get ready, kid, before Kira wakes up and hunts you down."

Fifteen minutes later, Mae was dressed and out the door. As usual, James carried her camera around his neck, allowing Mae and Spot to stride on ahead. The forest was cold that morning, the trees swaying back and forth in a forceful breeze. Mae tugged the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands while struggling to maintain a good grip on Spot's leash.

Still, as cold as it was, the sun was out for once. Bits of gold danced in Mae's vision. A sea of leaves danced across the sky in a mixture of orange, yellow and green. Spot chased them until they hit the ground, then he lost interest and continued to pull Mae along the path. Up ahead on the horizon, the forest opened up to the Heavens, revealing a long drop down to the ocean below. 

"On a scale of one to murder, how pissed is Kira?"

James pretended to think about it for a second. "Oh, definitely a nine. Maybe murder if you're not up for some grovelling." At Mae's sullen frown, his serious expression faltered and he threw his head back in a laugh. "I'm kidding. She's not mad anymore. But you're still going to have to grovel if you want to avoid a real grounding this time."

Mae let out a sigh. "I'll make her breakfast when we get home."

"And make sure you clean Spot's paws," James added with a pointed look at where the golden retriever was happily trotting around in a patch of dew. "Kira will make sure he sleeps outside forever if he gets mud on her favourite rug."

"Noted. No mud on the fake cashmere."

Contrary to what Mae said, there was no more serious talk for the rest of their hike. Eventually, Mae handed Spot's leash to James and swapped him for her camera. They hung around at the cliffs for a while, following the path that circled around the hillside. The ocean below seemed to gleam like a freshly polished jewel, the clouds separating to reveal specks of blue that reflected in the ocean's depths. 

For a second, Mae didn't think of vampires or werewolves or that suffocating feeling in her chest. She thought of nothing at all, until she came home and found Lina about to leave with Emmett and Rosalie. The three of them hesitated at the sight of Mae and James making their way up the driveway, Spot panting between them as he dragged himself up the porch steps. As Spot went straight for his water bowl, shooting Emmett and Rose a wary glance as he went, James stopped to fist-bump Emmett and smile at Rosalie, who remained sullen-faced and quiet at Lina's side.

"Is Kira up?" Mae asked, wanting to ignore her problems for a little while longer.

Lina nodded. "She's starting on breakfast now."

"Shoot. There goes my idea."

"I think she's warming up to Spot," Lina continued. She ignored Rosalie's pointed frown as she followed Mae back inside, leaning up against the bathroom doorframe while Mae washed her face at the basin. "She's already bedazzled his food bowl and is cooking him lamb in the fry pan."

"I can hear you, Lina," came Kira's distant voice in the kitchen.

Lina grinned at Mae, who chuckled and dried her face with a clean hand towel. This time, when Lina spoke, she lowered her voice to a whisper. "Are you coming today?"

Mae frowned. "What's today?"

"The pack's training with the Cullens," Lina said. It was her turn to frown, glancing uneasily over her shoulder like she was paranoid someone would hear them. "Didn't Embry tell you?"

"No," Mae checked her phone then shook her head. No new messages. "He didn't."

Emmett called her name then, appearing at the end of the hallway with Rosalie not far behind him. Mae tensed but said nothing as Emmett nodded at her. "Lina, we're heading out," he said. "You wanna come, Mae?"

Her first instinct was to say yes but she quickly thought better of it. "I'm good. Thanks anyway."

Lina hesitated, reaching out to squeeze Mae's hand once before she retreated down the hallway. "We'll talk later, okay?" she promised.

Mae didn't reply. Instead, she looked back down at her empty notifications with a sense of dread blooming in her gut, and typed out several answers that she refused to send. All but two. The first being Maggie's, the other... Allison?

Mae: wanna hang? i'm thinking the beach...
Maggie: Sure :) when?

Allison: I've got this crazy idea and I'm starting to think you're a bad influence—